We arrived at the facility in the morning so that the weather wouldn’t be too hot to skydive in. It was such a cool place, I was staring in awe as I’ve only ever seen it on TV. After a few people had their turn, it was finally my turn. I was excited but also nervous. My family and I got on the helicopter and while the instructors were reading out the precautions to us, being an overthinker, I was imagining to myself some worst-case scenarios that could happen after we jump, like what if the parachute was malfunctioning and such.

When we were up in the sky, I could see the whole of the country, the outline, and the different small islands. I could also see the clouds and the sea. It was a breath-taking scenery and I wish I could stay up there a little longer. When it came to the part where we had to jump, I was feeling even more scared than excited which was not what I expected myself to be feeling. Fortunately, we would be jumping with one of the instructors and they will be carrying us along with the parachute. I felt relieve knowing that I would be in the hands of a professional with experience.

I was mentally preparing myself for the worst and thought that I would pass out just from the height itself when we jump. There were many negative thoughts going through my mind like what if this happens and I never get to see my family and friends again… But my thoughts were cut off when we plunge into the air.

And so, I did the necessary research on where are the best places to cage dive with a high chance of stumbling onto a great white. I guess my expectations were too unrealistic, it didn't seem possible to find a great white if I was going to keep my travelling bubble to Asian continents only. 

I settled on an island in Malaysia, somewhere in Sabah. It is said to be a popular site to encounter one of the ocean’s more enigmatic predators, scalloped hammerhead sharks. You could possibly meet other inhabitants like the manta or devil rays and plenty of schooling fishes. 

It wasn’t cage diving though. The scuba diving coach told me about how cage diving may be a safer way to observe sharks, but you’d feel restricted in a space and it’s also possible that sharks may think you’re a bait waiting to be eaten, yikes!

Anyways, I followed through my coach’s instructions, emergency measures and warmups. We started near the shore, and gradually went in deeper. After going through tons of coral reefs and fishes wandering around remotely, I stumbled across the much anticipated hammerhead shark.

I was at a loss of words, I watched it in a distance as it propelled itself through the water using its tail. I did not panic though, but I sure froze for a good minute. I was glad it wasn’t the original plan of meeting a great white through cage diving, because I would’ve called quits immediately. Watching these predators from a distance was somehow fulfilling and risky enough. 

School term is finally over and everyone is busy making plans on where to go, relax, and enjoy for the next 1 month. The monthly school magazine given to all students this time round was rather unusual. Previously, it was all about health, sciences, and how to do well for exams. With a skydiving picture on the front cover, it was titled “SPORTS”. With no hesitation, I looked over to my best friend, Kai. As I anticipated, our eyes met and we had the same idea. SKYDIVING!!

Fast forward to the present day, me and Kai are at Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia to experience skydiving for the first time. We have chosen to go with Tandem Skydiving where we will be strapped to a certified instructor. It was rather expensive but on the other hand, we needed no training and we had more free fall time. We were so excited that when night fell, we could not sleep. We both then shared our experiences and burst out laughing at our dumb decisions in the past. 

The following day came and with clear skies, we were ready for take off. Our Tandem instructors helped us put on the necessary safety equipment and ensure we are good to go. One by one, we boarded the plane. As the plane took off, my anxiety started to slowly build up. The plane went up to 13,000 feet in a matter of minutes and the green light was shown. The plane door slid open and it was time… 

“See you on the ground, CRACKHEAD!!!” Kai exclaimed as his instructor made the jump. “This guy..” I shook my head and smiled. My instructor asked me if I was ready but before I could answer, I felt wind rushing onto my face as my instructor made the jump. The adrenaline rush was crazy and everything looked so small. About 30 seconds in, the parachute opened and we slowed down. It was tense at first but I slowly came to enjoy the breathtaking sceneries. Here, I can say that I am really on top of the world… This sense of relaxation and freedom is a feeling we will never get on the ground.

Next up, SWITZERLAND!!!

As I sat in the plane with my legs trembling non-stop, suddenly one of the staff asked, “ are you ready to jump?” I immediately looked up at my instructor . “ Are we already there?” the staff nodded my head and started to get the equipment ready for the jump. I started to feel my legs and hands shaking more. My friend saw and held on to my hand and tried to comfort me but my mind was just filled with many thoughts. The instructor pushed the door open and a gush of wind came blowing at us. My friend held my hand and brought me to the door. I was closing my eyes the entire time, afraid to open my eyes. When I mustered enough courage to look I immediately closed my eyes back and went back to my seat. My friend chuckled. “ Come on, it will be fun, trust me.it is a once in a lifetime experience. And you can boast about it to your mom when you are done” she said. I immediately looked at my friend and recalled what my mom said about the trip. She said that I was not able to and won't even be able to get on the plane without crying. I then stood up and remembered why I wanted to do this in the first place, to prove to my mom that I can do anything. I nodded to my instructor and she got me ready to jump. When she was done, I walked to the door where my friend was standing. My heart was pounding very fast. My legs were slightly shaking. 

“ ready?” “ three, two, one, JUMP!” We jumped down the plane, into the beautiful scenery around us. 

“You ready?” I looked over my shoulder and nodded to my dashing Australian instructor who checked for assurance. The helicopter’s door had already been slid open and I was the first one to go. The cooling wind graced my body as I braced myself for the leap. My heart was pounding like a drum, even more furious than before. I felt as though I could combust at any minute. It wasn’t the fear of height, more so the fear of not surviving. However, this was my ‘it’ moment. To celebrate my twenty-one years of living. I gave my instructor a second nod and off we went, we soared like birds in the sky.

 

I felt my face being pulled back, almost like I was gum, and it was being stretched everywhere. Every inch of my body embraced the icy temperature in the clouds. It felt as though part of my nervous system had shut down. My body gave in to gravity as I closed my eyes and let the wind carry me. It was as though I was floating to heaven, yet I was falling to Earth. After what felt like an eternity, my instructor finally pulled the lever, releasing the parachute. 

 

My body jerked momentarily by the sudden pull. I opened my eyes and my mouth hung open to the scenery in front of me. It was still blurry greens, blues and mix of colours on the land but it looked straight out of a movie or painting. Floating in air made me feel more powerful than before. I was freefalling earlier with no control but now, everything was much slower, and I took in every second of that sensation. 

As we got closer to the ground, I could see the details clearer. Greenery across the country, little lakes and houses, even tiny people. We approached a clear plot of land and my instructor reminded me of the technique we learned. I braced my legs for impact, and I felt my bottom sliding gently on the grass before it came to a halt. I was detached from the carabiner and pulled up by my instructor. He gestured for a high-five and smiled from ear to ear. “You did it man, your first jump! How does it feel?” I paused hearing his words. I glanced around me and saw other divers coming down too. I turned back to look at the sky, filled with fluffy cotton candy clouds and an orange beam subtlety shining through the horizon. I heaved a sigh of relief and let out a chuckle. “Feels amazing. Thank you.”.

Soon enough, the plane flatted its nose which meant we had reached the designated altitude for the jump! Looking down on my pants, gladly they were still dry but my legs could not help but fight. I thought this was due to the combination of excitement and fear and put up a kind of fine smile. Suddenly, the cabinet door was opened by the coach and the indicator turned bright green. Everyone started following the last instructions before the dive while I stared at the shining green dot on my own. Gladly, my pal tagged my shoulder to bring me back to reality. Hiding at the end of the line, I felt a bit more relaxed since I had nobody watching my back as I could watch the rest jump out first. 

‘Go!’ The coach shouted and the first few pairs disappeared under my sight. They formed a circle that reminds me of the song ‘Fuyu no hana’ which means flowers in the winter. Blooming and falling at the same time. What dragged me back to reality was the coach's strong arm. I knew it was my turn finally. I checked everything on me and closed my eyes smoothly. Stepping into the void.

The cage in front of me could fit 5 people. We had to take turns to explore this unique and probably once in a lifetime, for me, adventure of cage diving. The chills and nervousness of my body made me numb. Soon it was my turn.

I wore the safety gears and equipped myself with the oxygen tank provided. I was trying to remember what the professionals have briefed me about upon entering the cage. I couldn’t. Luckily, the professional divers gave another round of direct instructions. This time I remembered and tried my best to follow, while my body was shivering in fear. Shark fins were seen everywhere around the boat. One tried to make stunts and create huge waves, causing the boat to rock vigorously. Why do they have to do these when I am in the cage? I cried to myself. 

It was time for me to explore underwater. Everyone in the cage was fully equipped and prepared. I was prepared with equipment and gears, but not mentally in my mind. As the cage lowered, I closed my eyes thinking I would be not as scared. I could feel the water touching my feet, then to the lower body, slowly to my chin. I was fully submerged into the ocean. I forced my eyes open, and my nervousness slowly faded. I became excited and appalled instead. The sharks did not look as near as I had expected. And there were many more sharks in the ocean than what I thought onboard the boat. Suddenly, there was a loud thud at the cage. I screamed through my mouthpiece of the oxygen tank. One of the sharks used its tail to hit the cage. I had a scare.

Such a short moment filled with so many imaginations and experiences. Being able to step over my comfort zone was something that led to an adventure fulfilled with activities that I thought I would not explore.

 

Throughout the whole car ride to the location, I was very quiet. My hand won’t stop shaking. The palm of my hands was getting sweaty. I was starting to have cold sweats and dead thoughts were starting to appear in my mind. I was starting to list down all the misfortune that could potentially happen in my head. But before I could think of an excuse to escape, I have reach the destination, the Skydive Centre. 

 

My heart was pounding really fast. Sweats were starting to drip down my back and forehead as I was signing all the necessary documents before taking off. I was then introduced to our instructor and we were taught how to put on the harnesses and helmets. We were then being brief on some instructions and protocols of when we on the plane. This is when my heart started to beat very fast. It was pounding very fast and I thought it would come out of my chest anytime soon. I felt the adrenaline rush. 

 

Before I knew it, I was 10 000 feet up above the ground. I was already starting to say my prayers out loud in my head. Wishing and praying that I won’t die. I was also starting to think of all the things I have yet to achieve in life. As my mind was wandering around in my head, the instructor started to ask me if I was ready to jump. The next thing I knew, I was screaming my lungs out as we went about 200 km per hour up in the sky. Everything below me that used to be so big looked so small up here. The view was incredible. We were floating up in the sky. The clouds look like cotton candy even from up here. 

 

When we reach the ground, I couldn’t feel my legs. They felt like jelly. At that moment, I was shocked and disbelieved that I had just overcome my fear. The screaming up in the air paid off because I now manage to let go of all my sadness and angriness from the breakup behind me. I would never have imagined myself to be doing skydiving 2 months ago. That is crazy. 

Out of curiosity and fear, I made the horrible decision to lean out the edge of the cabin to see what I signed up for. Almost instantly, my acrophobia screamed at me to get back in the cabin, yet I was frozen in place, staring at the tiny skyscrapers and roads that seemed to tower over me when I was safe on the ground. 

I turned to my skydiving instructor to find her studying my face. I must’ve looked really nervous (although I tried to hide the fear), because she expressed her concern for me by asking if I was okay. I tried to flash her an assuring smile to ease her worries, so I decided to shout over the roaring wind and engine of the plane: “Did I ever tell you I obtained a diploma for being a coward back in school?” 

It seemed to work as she laughed at the joke (not that I could hear it) before punching my arm. “We’re jumping off in ten seconds, so don’t chicken out now!” Ten? The unsettling dread I felt began to chip away at my smile as I paled. 

Apparently I panicked so hard I lost track of what number I counted till, because while I was still at “four”, my instructor had already jumped off the plane with my arms still linked with hers. The scream I let out was so loud my other friends in the plane said they could hear me.

After prying open my squeezed shut eyes, I steadied my breathing and took a good look around me and I was mesmerised by the view of the endless blue sky and the clouds that floated dreamily overhead, while down below the different colours of the tiny cars on the road and buildings melted my anxiety away. 

Soon after, the parachute was released and my instructor and I descended safely onto the ground. I struggled to find my footing for a moment, the adrenaline still rushing through my body and the grin on my face still wide. Maybe skydiving wasn’t so bad after all. 

 

Not long after, it was my turn to jump down. As I stood in the helicopter before the skies, my mind instantly went blank. I could not think at all. My legs felt wobbly, as if they were going to crumble down anytime.  “3…2…1… jump!” the instructor immediately plunged both of us down from the helicopter. I did not mentally prepare myself to die at this very young age. All I could do was close my eyes as we launched from the helicopter. 

 

As we were diving in the midst of the blue skies filled with fluffy clouds, I suddenly felt a sense of excitement that I was ‘floating’ in the skies for the first time in my life. Adrenaline rushed through my body continuously. My fear vanished completely as I lifted my hands forward and enjoyed the wind breezing past my face. I was screaming at the top of my lungs with excitement, but I could not hear my voice at all. “Is this real? Is this a dream? Am I really skydiving? Am I really floating in the air?” I questioned myself. I slapped my face to make sure I was not dreaming at all, and yes, it was indeed real. 

 

This experience was definitely a tick off my bucket list, and was surely a memorable one for me.

 

 

'No turning back now, we're about to plunge off!' joked my instructor, Elvis, stating the obvious. As we inched closer and closer to the entrance, my hands were clammy, and my legs were shaking uncontrollably.

 

I could feel the chilly air surge in and a rush of adrenaline down my spine as I stared out over the scenic view of Australia. Everyone on board was counting down the minutes before I could leap, but all I could hear was the ringing in my ears as I prepared to dive off a plane 14,000 feet up in the air. Elvis was holding me tightly for my first skydive while the cameraman was already outside the plane waiting for me to jump. 

 

“3….2….1…LET'S GOO….” Elvis excitedly scream beside me as we jumped off together. 

 

Those were the scariest yet most enjoyable seconds of my life. As we were falling faster and faster, I could feel my heart pounding off my chest and hear a gust of wind blowing into my face. After a while, we slowed down, and my parachute opened fast. I could feel my body jump at the sound of the parachute assembling above me. 

 

“You okay there?” Elvis checked on me while I was silently catching a glimpse of the view in our parachute.

 

A few minutes later, Elvis flew the parachute to the ‘landing area’ and we smoothly landed on the ground. My legs were too unsteady to walk, so I sat on the ground with a wide smile on my face for a few minutes. I gave Elvis and the cameraman a hug while thanking them for sharing this special moment with me. The other instructors slowly escorted me to the waiting area where I could watch my friends floating up in the air.   

‘Give me a minute,'' I stuttered. I clasped my shaking hands together. I whispered a short prayer and took a deep breath, preparing myself to jump. Skydiving had been an activity on my bucket list, and I was not going to back out now. I had spent a lot of money to come to the United States and have a first hand experience of skydiving. I must not let it all go to waste. I mustered up all my courage, looked at the diving instructor, and signaled that I was ready. ‘Okay 1, 2, 3!’ the diving instructor said and we jumped out of the helicopter.

Now I was in the air, right next to the clouds. I felt so light. ‘I can fly!’ I thought to myself. The sound of the wind whooshed in my ears. It was deafening, I could not even hear my own voice. My hands grew numb from the freezing cold and I could feel my toes tingle in my shoes. I spread my hands and feet wide open, enjoying the refreshing cool wind on my face. I looked down, and my heart raced. I felt a bit giddy, from up here the world seemed so small. Despite the slight nervousness, I felt euphoric. I had finally had the courage to do an extreme sport. I felt accomplished and proud of myself.

 

My palms were sweating. My heart was beating loudly but somehow still drowned out by the raucous whirling of the helicopter blades. At least they helped me realise my ears were blocked by the air pressure, unlike Silly Tilly who hadn’t stopped smiling from the moment I agreed to this. In celebration of Tilly getting her skydiving coaching license, I, the one friend with acrophobia, was chosen as the sacrificial lamb to go tandem skydiving with her. I’d tried every excuse in the book to get out of this, but Tilly refuted every single one of them with practised ease. 

 

I regretted instantly sneaking a peak out the window. My head started swirling. My stomach lurched every time the chopper shook, which unfortunately happened frequently. Before I knew it, the dreaded moment had arrived. Tilly had tapped on my shoulder to let me know that we had reached diving altitude. Instinctively, I shook my head vehemently to fully express my resolute reluctance to jump. Tilly must have expected this as she began to calmly gesture at me with her hands to take deep slow breaths to calm down. Oddly enough, it worked. I could feel my palpitating heart begin to return to normal, as I followed her instructions. 

 

We were the first to go. The other passengers and instructors on the chopper pumped their fists in encouragement as they looked at each other with the same mixture of nervousness and excitement. Heartened by their encouragement, I nodded to Tilly that I was ready. Tilly grinned back in response as she tilted my head to face the front and leaned us out of the helicopter door. 

 

The feeling in the moments of freefall was inexplicable. All I could remember was feeling the rush of adrenaline that Tilly had insisted I’d love, and hearing the overwhelming gush of wind as we lost all sense or reason. It was only when Tilly gestured a reminder to breathe, that I finally noticed how dry my mouth was and how my throat was hurting from my silent screams during the initial fall. As Tilly released the parachute, I could feel my cheeks ache from smiling too widely. I relished every second we had in the air. I even pleaded with Tilly to let me have a try at spinning us around before we got closer to the ground.

 

It was over too soon. Our landing was a lot bumpier than our trip in the air as some kicked-up dirt somehow ended up in Tilly’s mouth. Still, her giddy grin would not fade as she triumphantly raised the Go-Pro she had brought on our trip, proud of the proof she had obtained of my joy during our skydiving session. Nonetheless, I didn’t care. I just knew I needed more.

 

“Keep it! Let’s just go again!”

The next day, I went to the jump zone, and was brought back to reality by the death waiver at the reception counter, realising how serious this sport is. The line "you can be seriously injured or even killed as a result of your participation in skydiving," set my mind blank and the word “death” resonates in my head as I stare blankly at the paper. After serious consideration I decided to follow through and go with my tandem group onto the plane after we put on the jump suit. While waiting in line to board, my iron will begin to crumble like a cracker under pressure. I regret my decision. My face turns pale like a clean sheet of paper.

When the plane raised, my instructor asked me how high we are. I look out and answer 10,000 fts, but he shows me his altimeter, which says 4000 fts……I went into panic mode and my mouth dried up instantly. I could only calm myself down to take a deep breath to wake myself up.

As we approach 13000 fts, my instructor begins scooting me towards the door, then I realised I am the first to jump. When they open the door, strong wind rushes to my face forcing my eyes shut and taking my breathe away with it. Looking down weakens me, as my conscious starts to fade away, I fight for what’s left and not pass out from this death involved sport.

My instructor begins counting to three. As the count continue my heart beats louder and my breathing got heavier. My vision, conscious, and senses all malfunctions for first few seconds of the jump and only feel powerful breeze all over my pale face. I regain control and able to enjoy what fear took away from me; freedom. The view from thousand fts high set myself free like a fluffy cloud floating high in the sky.

I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated this experience, but I won’t be falling twice.

“Obviously?! But I would love to experience the thrill that I would get from being 14000 feet above the ground.” I basically screamed internally because the excitement I felt just by imagining myself in the air. 

“Take care, okay?” My sister furrowed her eyebrows as she did not understand why I was so excited. 

 

All these were the last things I remember while sitting nervously in the aircraft. 

Then I felt my anxiety rising.

What if the parachute does not open? 

What if the aircraft crashes? 

What if…. 

 

My anxiety continued to rise as the aircraft flew even higher. 

While mumbling so many possible ‘What ifs’, my instructor, Aston, laughed and said

“Jeez, don’t worry! You’re under really good hands. You will love the feeling.” I laughed off anxiously, as I looked out of the aircraft and realizing how high up I am.

 

“Get ready!” Aston basically shouted as we could barely hear each other while passing me the goggles. As the door slides open, my instructor and I sat at the edge of the aircraft ready to fall off.  The wind was so strong that I caused me to close my eyes even with the goggles on.

 

“3,2,1!” I opened my eyes as we fell off the aircraft. I extended both my arms out in the air knowing that I should enjoy this moment. Wow, the view was spectacular. Even though what I saw in the beginning was mostly water, as we were closer to the ground it was a view of Brisbane that I would have never seen if not for skydiving. It was so true that during that 1 minute of free fall, we were falling so fast, but my eyes were able to catch a good look of the scenery. When the parachute opened and slowed down the falling. While knowing that I was actually in good hands, my heart slowed down and I took time to enjoy the view that I would only be able to see from sky diving.

 

Once we landed, I already knew I was going to feel a sore in my legs the next day since my legs felt so weak. 

 

“I loved it! Definitely doing this again!” I shouted. While falling flat on my back, looking up in the sky knowing that I have no regrets.

When we reached the place, the instructor taught us how to wear our harness, helmet and the safety rules and regulations of skydiving. After which, he led us to the plane. As soon as the plane took off, I saw the change in the altitude meter. The altitude was increasing rapidly, and my heart was thumping as I was nervous but at the same time excited. About 20 minutes later, the plane has reached the altitude of 15000ft, and this is where we were preparing to jump off of the plane.

As the instructor said to me: “On a count of 3, we will jump off the plane. Alright?” I had taken a quick glance down and saw what I was going to jump off into, the sky below me looked like I was looking at a photo at my phone and was hallucinating and pretending that this was a dream, I had even pinched myself to make sure that this was the reality I was going to face. I felt like I was going to puke after looking down as it made me feel nauseous and distraught at what I was going to do. But all of a sudden, I hear, “3, 2, 1,”  the instructor, my friend and I jumped into what I had thought was going to be the end of my entire life, but the instructor had told me to remain calm as I was panicking and reminded us that he will be guiding us along the way and making sure that our safety stays priority as that is one of their mottos. In the middle while diving, I felt a sense of relief as I had glided along the wind but that is when he told us to pull our parachutes and which we did. After it was pulled, I had felt so relieved to the point I just wanted to get this over and done with and when we reached the ground, I had this thought in mind that I never EVER want to go back and try or experience skydiving ever again, it had felt like my entire world was upside down and was going in circles and felt so nauseated after the experience. And after this day I ought to never skydive ever again in my life.

 My sweaty palms made me even much more nervous, wondering about whether the sweat will fly off my palms and blind my vision when falling, or whether the parachute would get ruined by the sweat, or whether I even remember to release the parachute. All sorts of negative possibilities were running through my head. I got even more afraid. My whole body started to tremble tremendously, and I could feel myself gasping for air. I also started to feel nauseous, all I could think about now was how my delicious breakfast made by my mom was going to come to a waste.  

Huh. Mom. She was the one who motivated me to come experience this. She had been diagnosed with stage 2 Breast Cancer a few months ago, and every week, she must go for treatments, which was an extremely painful process for her to go through at her old age. I remember how shocked and distressed I was when I heard the news. 

One of my mother’s goals in life was to go parachuting. “I want to experience how birds feel, how free they feel just flying around the sky, how they can see the whole world,” she had said, with a pleased smile on her pale face. When I heard about this, I knew I had to complete it for her. “You can do it, yes you can! “I tried my best to compose myself. “You have to do this for mom,” I said to myself, trying to gain some confidence. While I was lost in my thoughts, the intercom rang. 

“And…10 more seconds to take-off…10…9…8…7…6…5…” The captain hollered through the intercom system.

I slowly stood up, legs still shaking, and walked slowly to the door of the helicopter. Then, I did one final check to make sure I had all the necessary equipment. 

“…4…3…2…and…1”

Taking in a huge breath, I jumped.

Plunging through the air, I was terrified at first. I could feel the strong wind blowing through my face even with the safety goggles on. My arms and legs were also swaying around in the air. “AHHHH,” I screamed out, not out of fear, but rather happiness. “AHHHHHHHH,” I slowly chuckled to myself with a huge grin plastered on my face. It was all so thrilling, seeing the world right below. I could truly understand what my mom was talking about at this point. It felt as if time had stopped, like the whole world was yours.

 

“Come on, this is nothing! It’s not even as high as the ones I usually do” Re-opening my eyes that I had previously shut tight, I once again saw the trees that were once felt so big, now seemingly so tiny they could fit into the likes of my palms. I must have been mad. Absolutely mad. Because if I didn’t already feel like I could vomit all my internal organs out, I sure do now. My heart clenched as I looked at Kat and then at the plane’s open window again. I knew if I didn’t jump it would mean that all her efforts to plan my birthday would go to waste. Plus I’ve never even told her about my acrophobia. But just the thought of jumping was enough to make my stomach churn. Almost as if she noticed my turmoil, Kat strode over while adjusting the last of the straps. She placed her hand on mine and gave it a good squeeze. 

 

“Just trust me, if I didn’t think you’d enjoy this I wouldn’t have brought you here” And in that moment, looking into her gleaming eyes, it was almost as if all my fear had disappeared. Almost. In reality, my legs were shaking so much I thought I lost all ability to walk. Trying to ignore that feeling of impending doom, I started walking closer to the jumping platform with Kat, our fingers intertwined.

 

“Whenever you’re ready” The skydiving instructor called out.

 

Letting my weight of my body fall forward, I took one big breath and closed my eyes. The feeling of wind in my face, fresh air rushing through my body. It felt like I was flying…free from the weights of this world. The nervousness I once felt was replaced with excitement and thrill. Around us, stood the lush greenery and vivid clear skies. Ironically, I’ve never felt more freedom in my life. At the corner of my eye, I saw Kat grinning, mouthing the words; “told you so”, to which I couldn’t help chuckling to. 

 

Plummeting through the skies, time seemed to last forever. The same way they describe it in books and movies; and if not for Kat…I would have probably never experienced this inexplicable feeling.

‘Sky…..skydiving?’

‘Why? Are you scared? Come on, we came to New Zealand, let’s try something new!’

‘S…sure’

Then, I did not know what I have gotten myself into. Here I am now, standing in front of the registration counter, signing my life away. 

And so we did. The instructor gave us a safety briefing, and we geared up and head toward the plane. 

My hands started shaking as we boarded the plane, and I cringed with fear. I peeked out of the window, and the vast infinity blue sky with dashes of white filled my eyes. I was mesmerised. It was the first time I saw the sky without tall buildings obstructing it, after living in the city throughout my entire life. The fear that I had somehow or rather disappeared after watching the scene before my eyes. My heart was at peace.

It was not long until I was snapped back into reality as the pilot announced, ‘We are now 14,000 feet above land. Get ready!’ A bolt of panic hit me. The door opened as a strong gust of wind slapped us in our faces. My heart started racing as I see Ben jumping off the plane which meant that it would be my turn very soon. 

The instructor signalled me to go towards the door. I hesitated as millions of ‘what ifs’ raced through my head. Left with no choice, I walked warily towards the door.

‘On the count of three, we will jump. Let’s do it!’ 

I shut my eyes tightly and plunged into the vast sky. The wind threw me off guard and a sudden adrenaline rush overwhelmed me. I lost control of my body as though gravity did not exist. The wind stretched the skin of my face to the back and I was turning in all sorts of directions. I slowly opened my eyes and the scenery was spectacular. I realised how high we were when the mountains looked like road bumps, every single thing looked tiny.

After around 20 seconds of free fall, the parachute opened and slowed our descent. The parachute stabilised us which gave us a better view of the scenery. I quickly grabbed the opportunity to enjoy the view. It was spectacular.

‘How was it? Amazing! wasn’t it?’ Ben shouted across the wide field as soon as he spotted me. I silently nodded my head. Would the Jason from 2 weeks skydive? I highly doubt so. Nonetheless, I am extremely proud that the Jason today, did it. It was truly an amazing experience that I would never ever forget.

"Get ready! We're about to head down in 5 minutes!" 

I snapped back into reality. Looking at a new fin that was emerging nearby, I imagined a future scenario. I am at a dinner with my friends telling them about my experience. Scenario A. I tell them about how my fear got the best of me and so I did not do it. They laugh and ridicule me and I do the same back at them. Scenario B. I tell them about my experience and boast to them. Cage diving suddenly did not seem so bad after all. 

As the others around me were climbing down into the cage, I looked around the yacht one last time before doing the same. My left foot dips into the water. So cold! My right foot followed and soon, my whole body was fully emerged in the sea. I slowly looked around to get used to my surroundings. As I turn my head around, I lift my eyes to see a shark swimming by. Sharks attacking the cage was normal right? I do not have to worry right? I will not die here right? I turned around to look at another tourist. She was smiling at the sharks. Her eyes curved and wrinkles started appearing beside her eyes. I looked back at the sharks. I started looking more closely. Apart from its predatory nature, it is the first time I ever got to see a shark this close. Slowly, a smile started appearing on my face too. 

Yet here I was, someone who definitely did not want to die, about to jump from an airplane in the sky. I had lost a bet with my friends, and what had started as a harmless joke was genuinely happening. I was definitely going to get back at them for this.

The journey up to this altitude was nerve-wracking. I could do nothing but watch as the plane jerkily took off, slowly ascending, straying further and further away from the ground. I bowed my head and said a quick prayer to all the gods out there, asking for safety.

Now, here I was.

I gripped the railing in the helicopter so tightly that my knuckles turned white. My breaths came like I had just run a marathon, and my whole body was trembling. The blue sky was right in front of me. I would have found it to be a beautiful sight if I wasn’t engulfed in terror. I turned around and looked at the professionals around me, swiftly doing their last minute checks, making sure we would be able to land on the ground safely. Their calmness only made me feel more stressed.

“Are you ready?” My instructor asked me. The sounds the airplane was making were deafening so I could barely hear her.

“Hypothetical question, what would happen if I puke while we’re freefalling?” I asked as my stomach did somersaults.

My instructor laughed. “I’ll just try to make sure you don’t puke all over us. But don’t worry, that won’t happen. I’ve done this for 10 years and not once has anyone puked during the freefall,” She laughed and gave me a reassuring smile.

“Well, there’s a first for everything…” I mumbled as she started strapping me up to her. The way the straps dug into my skin was uncomfortable and almost painful, but it also made me feel safer, so I embraced the discomfort. If I was about to die, at least I wouldn’t have to do it alone. 

Finally, we were all strapped up and ready to take the leap. I steadied my breaths, hoping for my heartbeat to slow down. The churning in my stomach was not helping my case in terms of me puking, but I tried to push it down as best I could.

My instructor started the countdown.

3.

I shut my eyes.

2.

I took a deep breath.

1.

My feet left the plane.

Before I knew it, I was already on the way to the helicopter, where we would be skydiving from. As we walked closer to the helicopter, I could not help but think of what one of the instructors had told us, I mumbled to my friend, “Is it too late now for me to back out. I don't think I can do this.” “You’ll be fine.” My friend said as she dragged me up onto the helicopter. 

On the helicopter, our instructors shouted loudly over the chopping sounds of the helicopter blades about what to take note of as we were diving. I could not help as I looked out to see the jaw-dropping height we were on and clammed my eyes shut and whispered words to try and calm myself down.  “Okay, time to go everyone” they said as I heard myself getting clipped together with my instructor as we inched closer to the edge of the helicopter. “YOU CAN DO THIS JIAYOU!” my friend shouted as she cheered for me. I looked at her in disbelief. “3! 2! 1! GO!” My instructor jumped off the helicopter with me. “AHHHHHH!! OMG! OMG!” I screamed in fear, clenching my fist and keeping my eyes shut tightly, I could feel myself falling. My stomach churned and I felt butterflies in my stomach. 

I took a peek at the scenery as I slowly opened my eyes. “Woah, the view is amazing, maybe this is not so bad.” Gradually, I began to relax. I looked up to see my friend skydiving and wondered did I look like that? 

A while later, the instructor opened the parachute and soon after we landed. As we walked out of the place, my friend asked, “How was it? Okay right.” To which I confidently said that I would try it again another time. 

 

“Good morning birthday girl! We have planned something exciting for your birthday!” exclaimed my mother. It was 7 in the morning. Why so early? I woke up feeling groggy because of the jet lag. I kept wondering where we were going. I hoped it was something fun. We got in the car and my father drove off. After 40 minutes of driving, we reached our destination. I was shocked.

 

“Oh no… Why are we going to a skydiving centre when I have a fear of heights?” I whispered to myself. My heart started to palpitate as we move towards the centre. 

 

As we reached the skydiving centre, we did a short safety course which we learned where to we had to place our arms, legs, hands, feet, and torso in the correct spots. We also watched short clips of skydives to mimic their body position. After the safety course, it was time for skydiving which I was not looking forward to. My parents were smiling from ear to ear.  Meanwhile, my legs were trembling in fear. We were suited in skydiving jumpsuits and strapped with safety equipment. Soon, we boarded into a small turbine-engine aircraft. We fit inside like sardines. The aircraft took us all the way to 10,000 feet. As it was my first time, I had to be strapped with an instructor. 

 

When I was in the aircraft, everything seemed so small to me. It was an unfamiliar point of view. For a moment, I forget what we are here for and just enjoy the beautiful view. At 10,000 ft, everyone gets ready. I had mixed feelings. My mother holds my shoulder and whispered in my ear, “See you soon.”

 

My mother jumped off first and followed by my father. Next, it was my turn. I could feel the adrenaline rushing in my blood.

“Are you ready?” the instructor asked me.

I had no choice. There was no turning back. I nodded my head. My instructor counted down… and we jumped! I felt the wind rushing against my face as we fell to the ground. There was a loud rush of wind that sounded similar to blowing into a microphone. Everything became peaceful once the parachute opened. I admired the magnificent view of the beautiful perspective of this world. This was definitely one of the scariest but most exhilarating experiences of my life. 

That’s the height the plane I’m in is at. However, I’m not taking a relaxing flight to my dream holiday destination, though I wish I was. Instead of the crystal blue waters and golden sandy beaches of the Maldives that I had been dying to experience, I was unwillingly dragged along by my brother to try skydiving in New Zealand. The worst part of this whole ordeal is, I have a horrible fear of heights.

The red light at the side of the plane door dimmed while the green light brightened, signifying that it was now okay for us to jump. When the door of the plane lifted open, revealing the countless mountains below, I felt as if a doorway to hell had opened and death was waiting for me there. My brother was the first to jump and there wasn’t an ounce of hesitation or fear on his face as his instructor held onto the plane with him facing downwards. He was even smiling! How crazy must he be to enjoy the feeling of jumping to his death? On the count of 3, his instructor pushed them both off the edge of the plane as I watched them quickly shrink into two dark specks in the scenery below. I felt my instructor stand up shortly after they had jumped and the feeling of doom quickly settled in my stomach as he brought us closer and closer to the open door of the plane.

I was forced to lean face down as my instructor started the countdown to jump off the plane. I shut my eyes as I refused to see the horrifying sight below me, afraid that I might pass out after seeing it. “Ok we are going to jump at the count of 3”, I heard my instructor say.

“1…”

This is truly going to be the countdown to my death.

“2…”

I can’t do this.

Before I could instinctively grab on to the sides of the plane for my life, my instructor had jumped off at 2 instead of 3 like previously agreed on.

To my horror, I am now falling.

I felt the wind that constantly blew against my face, making any form of screaming impossible. I tried opening my eyes with much difficulty. While the height itself was making my head spin from terror, the view of the snow-capped mountains below me was a gorgeous sight to behold. Including the strong gust of winds blowing against me, it made me feel like I was flying, a magical feeling that I have never felt before. And for the first time in my life, I no longer felt fear.

“Are you guys ready?” I look down once again and I freeze. The excitement I felt prior seemingly blown away by the wind. I look around and saw one of the other sky divers jumping out of the helicopter, his cheer lingered as he dived. 

“I don’t feel so excited no more.” I told my instructor. He laughed, reassuring me that it’ll be fine. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. The howling of the wind seemed to grow louder as fear rose up to my throat. 

“Ok, Champ. I’m buckling up!” Said my instructor. I could hear metals clanging against each other as he coupled our harnesses together. 

“Parachute. Check!” He exclaimed to himself. I took another deep breath as he jumped off the helicopter, taking me with him.

“OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” I screamed. I heard my instructor laugh faintly as we dove through the air. The landscape below me grows as we dive down. I could not help myself but giggle as I imagine being a character in a video game or a secret spy sent on a secret mission. 

“What’s so funny?!” My instructor shouted at me. I could hear the amusement in his voice when moments before he was trying to reassure me there was nothing to be scared of. 

“I can’t help but laugh at the thought of being a spy” I shouted back. The world below me grows faster as we come closer to the ground. I hear the parachute deploy, the wind knocked out of me as inertia took place. 

“Wow.” I exclaim, taking in the beauty of the landscape around me. 

 “Are we ready to go swimming with one of the world’s greatest apex predators! Don’t worry if a shark approaches too closely, our state of the art iron bars will keep you protected. But remember! Always keep your limbs inside the cage and goggles tightly worn!”

Looks of thrill and excitement graced the faces of our tour group while terror was crippling down mine. Like a bolt from the blue, my head received a direct impact. Soon my entire vision was covered, followed by a trail of laughter. I lifted the fabric and was greeted by my grinning sister, who blurted,

 “Come on, Slowpoke! Put on that wetsuit. We don’t have all day!” I begrudgingly obeyed and equipped myself from head to toe. This was not my idea of fun but I had to honour a lost bet.

Eyes fixating on the watery grave, I dragged my feet towards the edge of the boat, my heart thumping louder with each step. With a big breath, I took a plunge, breaking the surface of the water, a curtain of white air bubbles drifted upwards revealing a vast blue abyss. Right then, chunks of meat slowly sank outside the cage in our vicinity. Within seconds, we were all surrounded by the great whites. I clung tightly to my sister, holding on for dear life. She gave gestures of reassurance as I acclimatised myself to the potential dangers lurking nearby. Although I was goosebumps ridden, it was then that I finally understood the haunting beauty of the wild ocean beast and its ferocious bite. 

We came out of the waters breathless, awestruck and proud. 

 

The first thing that I felt was the cold harsh wind pushing against my face as if tiny little hands were forcing me back up into the sky. However, I noticed that my heartbeat starter stabilising and I didn’t feel as scared. I took that in and it was as if I could feel every part of my body even clearer. The clammy hands were shaking in joy and I found myself screaming to what sounded like a girls first time going on a rollercoaster. That feeling is something id never forget, and from that day no, I was never afraid to try anything to, no matter how scary.