When the relationship started, what relationship schemata guided your expectations?Describe a relationship story that you tell with this person or about this person.What personal idioms do you use?What routines and rituals do you observe?What norms and rules do you follow? by Meng Gao

Social Relationship

2024-01-22 20:16:44 UTC

Routine is very important in our day-to-day lives, though we don't often know how important it can be to maintaining a healthy relationship. I've found that, over the years, friends willing to put in the work to attend scheduled events that are routine every week end up sticking around a lot longer than friends that flake on plans and/or don't reach out.

For instance, I've transferred from another nearby college to UMaine and a year ago I created a routine meet-up among my friends every Sunday at the same time. For a while, I ended up losing some friends because they simply didn't attend this routine meet-up or they struggled to communicate simple values, among other issues. The friends that still show up to this Sunday meet-up, however, I am still close with to this day, despite the difference in college.

Because of this, I believe in the importance of communication and schedule coherence among friends.

Social Relationship

2024-01-22 20:19:11 UTC

I don't really have a whole lot of expectations nor routines and rituals. Be kind and genuine to me and I will do the same

2024-01-22 20:19:35 UTC

My boyfriend and I will go to Starbucks on the anniversary of our first date and get a chai tea and sit in the same spot. When we are in public and starting to get emotionally exhausted, we have a code word we weave into the conversation so it is known that one of us wants to go back home. There are some days where we both don’t feel like talking so we will just start to nod and shake our heads and we both know it is a nonverbal day. My boyfriend is also a performer so every performance I bring him flowers and have been doing it since we have been dating. That’s how I show my support. He shows me his support by sending me packages to my dorm in the mail with snacks and little letters. Idk if I did this prompt right I might just miss my boyfriend lol

Honesty

2024-01-22 20:19:44 UTC

Making sure we are all open about when and why we don't want to hang out, because I am well aware that everyone needs space now and then.

Maternal relationship

2024-01-22 20:20:14 UTC

Well I believe the most clear relationship schemata I have would be between me and my mother. The expectations are clear in that my mother provides me a home and food in exchange for any help around the house, respecting her, and assisting wherever I am needed. We have morning and night routines as we have many chores to do before the day begins and ends, always animals to take care of or something to fix. Our most notable ritual would be that every Christmas we get a Charlie brown esque Christmas tree and not much else as neither of us enjoy celebrating holidays much but stills feels like we are getting in the spirit of the season. I suppose an idiom that we have is saying that I have a drinking problem as for some reason sometimes when I have a drink of water I burst into a coughing fit. My favorite story I have would probably be that when I was little we went on a walk through a nearby forest and she asked me to never forget it, it was long ago but I always remind her of it as it managed to be a very special memory for me.

Best Friends

2024-01-22 20:20:38 UTC

My best friend and I have always had a dynamic where she is very flighty, dramatic, and high-energy, where I play the voice of reason and bring a more mellow energy. Our favorite story is about when we first met at work, where I was assigned as a supervisor and she entered my group later on. We butted heads and didn't like each other, but during an event outside of work we were able to connect in a setting without hierarchy and immediately became inseparable. One of our personal idioms is a stylized pronunciation of "hello?" that started when she noticed I always answered the phone with "hello?" in the exact same way. It has become one of our routines to great each other with an exaggerated "hello" usually 2-3 times every time we start a phone call. Every time we are able to meet up in person, we go get coffee then go thrift shopping. It's always been our favorite way to spend time together.

2024-01-22 20:21:51 UTC

I'm not sure if there was something that was specifically "planned" about my relationship, but there was definitely effort and communication within it. A story I will usually tell is when we were going out to dinner and it started pouring when we were walking to the restaurant and we were soaked by the time we got inside and had to use their paper towels to dry off. We tend to watch our favorite show before bed and make dinner together most nights. A ritual would probably be going to get sushi on our anniversary every year and I tend to go to her house for thanksgiving. Sometimes when we don't feel like doing anything we'll hangout together in the silence. When we were long distance we would send packages to each other while she was at school and it brought us closer together. We always talk about things that are bothering us and have really healthy communication and also know when to take a time out.

2024-01-22 20:22:26 UTC

in my relationships i find it's easy to get in a routine with people. coming to a new school and meeting new people means having to find new routines with new people which can be uncomfortable at first it can also be hard to find a routine with new people

2024-01-22 20:23:05 UTC

I think that many people are often drawn to those with similar relationship cultures to their own. This is likely because they have similar expectations of what that relationship is. Many time when I'm with my friends I notice myself start to pick up phrase that they often say and vice-versa, creating new relationship idioms. Routines in relationship can form naturally or with intention. For example a friend and I may plan to see each other on their birthday every year and have dinner at the same restaurant, however the same friend and I may have just started getting coffee before class then it became a routine.

Relationships

2024-01-22 20:24:42 UTC

A routine that i follow that guided my expectations was my family dynamic because my grandparents set a traditional marriage my grandfather worked and provided fixed the things that needed to be fixed in the house and my grandmother stayed home watched the kids and cooked. An idiom that i use is the Family because that is how my family was bout up it gives everyone a sense of being belonged and feeling needed not used. A routine that i observed over the years was holidays in my family no matter what the circumstances are celebrating as a family a norm that i follow would be prayer because when things get hard i was always taught to pray and do better things.

Social Relationship

2024-01-22 20:26:23 UTC

My friends back home have all gone off in different directions now. We used to do everything together and now that we are separated, we have come to the solution of going to meet each other. For two years, I have flown out to California to meet my friends in one spot over spring break.

Social Relationships

2024-01-22 20:27:36 UTC

I usually have never had any type of routine with really any relationship, as it's all been very sporadic for a majority of my life. Other than when I used to play sports growing up and interact with people in that way outside of "structured" events. I've never really had any of the routines/rituals in a social relationship in my life that I can remember that stands out to me.

Long Distance

2024-01-22 20:32:36 UTC

My best friend and I are currently experiencing a long distance friendship for a third year. We don't always call and text but when we are both home again we make sure to spend time together and reassure each other of our position in the other's life. By spending time together and communicating with one another, we are able to remain in each other's lives.

relationship routines

2024-01-22 22:56:49 UTC

something that made my last relationship work so well was how we knew each other. what made me feel the most loved is how i always knew i was predictable but he also learned that early on. he would take notes of what meals or drinks i would order so that he would be able to surprise me with the little things. he would also take the time to plan things that we could do and that showed a good sense of "relationship rituals" which made me look forward to things while we were in the relationship. personal idiom was how he got to know my best friend so well and how when i would leave the room and come back then i would know that they would still be having the same conversation as before. they had a bond that made me feel very reassured to know that the people closest to me also enjoyed his company.