one of the constitutive principles of the igbo family was the principle of domination, which meant in practice, male domination.

Women generally were under the control of men both before and after marriage. They were regarded legally as minors for the greater part of their lives, expect older women who enjoyed greater respect because of their age. Consequently, possible domination by women in the family was practically non-existence. Even in matrilineal systems, practised by the northeastern Igbo, it was the males who dominated and not the females.

Child- rearing

This is not surprising since the Igbo manifest a strong preference for male children in order to maintain their patrilineal structure.

Under whatever condition women were born prior to the outbreak of the Nigerian Civil War in 1967, they bore more than their fair share of family burdens. This they accepted philosophically.

While young girls were taught the art of home-keeping from the age of six or earlier, young boys played more than they worked until between the ages of twelve and fifteen before taking on their share in the field and other work. From then on, they started to acquire experience of the world and as soon as they become male-conscious, take their place and part in the affairs of their community.

When the father of the family dies in a polygamous family, it becomes the responsibility of mostly the first son to take care of the welfare of both his siblings and other distant relations in the areas of education, training in various trades and even upkeep of the entire family.

Women are obliged to have children to succeed men. If women are unable to have children or have boys, she become subject to criticism. Also, young girl is expected to keep her virginity till she is married.

Traditionally, parents even arrange women for their mature sons to introduce them into sexual relationships. Vaginal mutilation is another cultural practice in Igbo culture that is used to deny women of sexual pleasure. The reason why the girl child’s sexual organ is mutilated in Igbo culture and other African cultures is to control the sexual urge of women, so that they would not be promiscuous.

Every family tries to subject its children to strict and productive discipline to ensure the continuity of the legacies of the lineage.

Little boys are enrolled into secret societies their age and strength can appropriately cope with to enable them to imbibe the discipline of the association needed for future life in adulthood. The young girls were also provided with educational facilities that prepared them for sheir role performance as future housewives and mothers

Step 1 – The First Introduction/Knocking On The Door 

(Ikụ Aka n’ Uzo)

Following the engagement announcement to both families, the groom’s parents, elders, and few family members will accompany the groom along with some alcoholic drinks to the bride home.

When the guests arrive, the bride’s family welcomes and present them with Kola-nut (the officially Igbo welcome gesture). Then, the groom’s father will make his son’s intention known for their visit.

Once the guests leave, the parents of the bride will discuss with their daughter about their visitor’s intention.

Step 2 – The Family Background Investigation         

(Ijụ Ajụjụ)

 The primary purpose of the investigation step allows both families to learn more about each other through outside inquiries of people who know the families within the villages and towns where each lives.

The two families conduct their investigation separately without the bride knowing. The bride’s family usually starts their investigation after the first introduction visit with the groom and his family, and after the family conversation with the bride. Still, the bride might never know when the investigation takes place.

Step 3 – The Follow-Up Visit For The Discussion Of The Bridal List (Ihu Isi Nwanyi)

After the families complete their investigations and are happy with their findings, they will be happy to proceed with the marriage process, and then the families will schedule a follow-up visit. The follow-up visit is for the discussion of the Bridal List required for the marriage process. Tradition demands the bride’s family give the Bridal List requirement to the groom’s family. The Bridal List includes items for the bride’s parents and community.

Step 4 – The Dowry Negotiations (Ego Isi Nwanyi)

Back in the day, the dowry by tradition is any specified amount of money the bride’s parents give the groom to pay for asking their daughter’s hand in marriage before the traditional wedding ceremony. Today’s parents understand their daughter is not for sale and thus, the discussion of the dowry is more of a gesture.

Step 5 – The Traditional Wedding Ceremony (Igba Nkwụ)

In Igbo culture, the traditional wedding is called Igba Nkwu (The Wine Carrying Ceremony) and it’s an important part of the wedding process when the bride carries the wine from her father to look for her groom.

Also, in some Igbo communities, the traditional wedding ceremony is more important than the civil wedding or religious wedding, which is more western in style.

The bride, with help from her family, will select some of her unmarried girlfriends and female family members to serve as her Asoebi (the bridal train). These women will dress in matching Asoebi outfits to accompany the bride in processions during the ceremony.

While the groom is hiding, the bride, changed to a new outfit, will dance out accompanied by her Asoebi ladies towards her parents and kneel before her father. Her father will restate to his daughter the intentions of the groom and his family and then gives her wine (i.e. palm wine) in a cup to drink a little and then to find the man she intends to marry and give the rest of the drink to him.

When she finds him, she goes to him, kneels, and offers him the remaining drink to him. The groom accepts the drink, drinks it all; and puts any amount of money in the cup for his bride.

 Step 6 – New Home Sendoff Gifts By The Bride’s Parents      (Idu Ụlọ)

New Home Sendoff Gifts by the bride’s parents is a tradition practiced in Igbo culture, where the bride’s family showers their newlywed daughter with house gifts to start her new married life.

The gifts vary depending on what the bride’s family can afford to gift their daughter such as a fridge, cooking utensils, beddings, air condition, cooking pots, cash gifts, car, new home and much more.

Step 7 – Bride’s Family First Visit To The Newlyweds’ Home (Imata Ụlọ Di)

Few weeks after marriage and the newlyweds are back from their honeymoon (today’s modern practice); the bride’s family will visit their daughter’s new marital home for the first time. This is an Igbo practice for the bride’s family knows where their daughter is living in case of an emergency; and to confirm that she is happy and cared for in her new home.

The visit is very casual and relaxed, and the two families will have general conversations with one another, or reminiscence about the newlyweds’ wedding day.

Polygamy is part of Igbo culture, and is well accepted and acknowledged by our people as a man’s legitimate right, if he so chooses to have multiple women as mothers in his household.

3kinds of family settings common in Igboland:

• Family Setting with Only One Mother: consists mainly of father, one mother, children, dependants, and relatives

Some 50 years ago, it was quite rare to find this kind of family setting among our people living in the geographical area designated as South-East Nigeria.

• Family Setting with Multiple Mothers: Polygamy is part of Igbo culture, and is well accepted and acknowledged by our people as a man’s legitimate right, if he so chooses to have multiple women as mothers in his household.

• Extended Family Setting: We, Igbos, are mainly known for this kind of family set-up in which father, mother or mothers, children, in-laws, from both sides, friends, and other relatives all live together as one household.

Reasons why Igbo people prefer the Extended family setting:

• The extended family is like a pillar of support for each member of the household as some members may be not-so-rich, widowed, orphaned etc as the case may be. The popular Igbo saying; “Igwe bu Ike”(Multitude is power) was coined to reflect the high value we place on the extended family setting.

  
  

- 50 years ago, families of this kind were rare.

<Family Setting with Multiple Mothers>

- Polygamy is part of Igbo culture.

- If he chooses to have multiple women as mothers in his household.

- The characteristics of this family structure are competition and quarrels between mothers.

<Extended Family Setting>
- The extended family consists of fathers, mothers, children, as well as cousins, uncles, aunts, and nephews.
- In general, expanded families originate from a desire to maintain a particular lineage and play a dominant role in the farming area.

- Due to the poor and insufficient finances, a family structure has occurred in which many people live together.

In Igbo culture, getting married involves seven main steps:

1) First Meeting: The groom's family formally meets the bride's family.

2) Learning About Each Other: Both families quietly check out each other's backgrounds.

3) Talking About Gifts: Families discuss what gifts the bride's family will give.

4) Talking About Money: Families discuss how much money the groom will give.

5) The Big Day: The bride brings wine to the groom in a special ceremony.

6) Gifts for the New Home: The bride's family gives her gifts to start her new life.

7) Visiting the Newlyweds: The bride's family visits her new home to make sure she's okay.

These steps keep Igbo traditions alive and help families come together.

Igbo family structure

• Family = a group of people living under one household

( may/may not be related or married)

• <Polygamy> is part of Igbo culture

= he chooses to have multiple women as mothers in his house holds

Three family structures exist in Igbo:

<Family Setting with Only One Mother>

• mainly of father, one mother, children, dependants, and relatives

• 50 years ago, this kind of families were rare.

<Family Setting with Multiple Mothers>

• Polygamy is part of Igbo culture

• multiple women as mothers

• characteristics: competition and quarrels between mothers

<Extended Family>

• a family structure that includes many members

• Due to insufficient finances, a family structure has occurred

<Reasons why Igbo people prefer the Extended family>

• support for each member of the household

(May be not-so-rich, widowed, orphaned etc)

[The popular Igbo saying “Igwe bu Ike” (Multitude is power)]

MARRIAGE RITUALS AND CEREMONIES

• Seven Important Steps

1. First Meeting: The groom's family formally meets the bride's family.

2. Learning About Each Other: Both families quietly check out each other's backgrounds.

3. Talking About Gifts: Families discuss what gifts the bride's family will give.

4. Talking About Money: Families discuss how much money the groom will give.

5. The Big Day: The bride brings wine to the groom in a special ceremony.

6. Gifts for the New Home: The bride's family gives her gifts to start her new life.

7. Visiting the Newlyweds: The bride's family visits her new home to make sure she's okay.

• These steps keep Igbo traditions alive and help families come together.

FAMILY STRUCTURE

• Family = a group of people living under one household

   ( may/may not be related or married)

• Polygamy is part of Igbo culture

  = he chooses to have multiple women as mothers in his house holds

• Three family structures exist in Igbo: 

1. Family Setting with Only One Mother

- mainly of father, one mother, children, dependants, and relatives

- 50 years ago, this kind of families were rare.

2. Family Setting with Multiple Mothers

- Polygamy is part of Igbo culture

- multiple women as mothers

- characteristics: competition and quarrels between mothers

3. Extended Family

- a family structure that includes many members

- Due to insufficient finances, a family structure has occurred

• Reasons why Igbo people prefer the Extended family

   - support for each member of the household

   (May be not-so-rich, widowed, orphaned etc)

• The popular Igbo saying “Igwe bu Ike” (Multitude is power)

ROLES WITHIN THE FAMILY

• Gender roles

- one of the constitutive principles of the igbo family was the principle of male domination.

- Women were regarded legally as minors for the greater part of their lives, except older women who enjoyed greater respect because of their age.

• Child- rearing

* Young girls

-They were taught the art of home (keeping from the age of six or earlier)

-The young girls were also provided with educational facilities that prepared them for sheir role performance as future housewives and mothers

* Young boys

-They played more than they worked until between the ages of twelve and fifteen before taking on their share in the field and other work.

• Every family tries to subject its children to strict and productive discipline to ensure the continuity of the legacies of the lineage.

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