in business: 

local team, HR, GM, Organisation, target, being reachable at the company for everyone, everyone has to be kept happy

in private:

partner wants to have more spare time, being challenged about company time/ family time --> me time is missing; expectation to myself?

in business: Find solutions/compromises, help other people, organize things, make decisions, work fast, be there for the team (be available), be a role model, provide high quality results

in private: make time for family and friends, be active, do sports, take care of your own health, organize private time, be a good parent, prepare food

-to be on time

-to get things done

-to be happy

in business:

-to know everything / have an overview

-to answer all questions

-to be available (all the time)

-to have a plan

-to understand everybody

-to fulfill everybody's expectations

in private:

-to be a good partner / mother / father

-to be a trustful friend

-take care of all tasks at home

-behave / act privately

-healthy life / sports etc.

-paying attention to everybody

in business: deliver, be successful, fulfill team expectations, be innovative, invent new, make progress for AX, role model to team, good communication, good looking

in private: Have time for yourself/family, be social, be healthy, be successful outside of work, balance work - life

What questions could I ask?

Find questions that confirm or refute your OWN assumptions about what is expected of you.

Find questions that you can ask OTHERS to be sure if something is really explicitly expected of you.

in business: fulfill sales targets, fulfill customers needs, fullfill professional role, to be available for requests, answer emails, work on long-term and short-term projects, manage teams, fulfill needs of the team, being available for the team, fulfill the travel targets

in private: manage familiy life, manage social life, manage business and private life, set-up a fantastic christmas, having a great pre-christmas time,

• ask questions

• for the meetings have an agenda

• follow up after meetings reg. to-dos, next steps...

• figure out expectations and find out what is possible and what not (e.g. work-life-balance or home office) --> explore solutions and compromises

• communicate expectations specifically

• understand others expectations and align --> as soon as possible

• start right away to talk about expectations

• go deeper and ask yourself is it a motivation or is it more a frustration?

• if you do not feel good about it - you have to act / to question the expectation

• if it is not possible to change it: ask yourself what you can do to be not frustrated about it?

Tom is the manager of an international team.

He invites the team to a "Team-Event" where they gather for the first time (in presence) after 9 months of working together. He did not send a detailed agenda.

According to Tom, the manager, the goal of the meeting is to find out WHY:

1. the priority-project is delayed

2. some team members are not getting along with each other

3. some team members are regularly arriving late or do not show up at team meetings

   
   

The meeting starts, and Tom, the manager describes his observations and worries (see above).  He divides the team in discussion groups with the task to suggest solutions on a flip chart. 

The discussions are vivid and quite destructive, but none of the group comes up with real solutions or is willing to write some suggestions on the paper. 

Tom is frustrated and does not know what to do. 

What is exactly happening?

Tom: Tom has given no guidance

Team: Nobody is prepaired

Tom is highly frustrated based on lack of results and team engagement

(note Bianca-Maria: "frustration" this is an observation/assumption/explanation - try to be as neutral as possible)

Who expects something?

Tom: to receive team engagement and ideas for solutions

Team: no or fully different expecations compared to Tom

Team: Having fun but not work in the event

Team: Expecting Tom to tell them

(note Bianca-Maria: the expectations of the team are also assumptions, based on your experience/own situation - the situation here only describes Tom's expectations)

What are they afraid of?
Tom: afraid of not seeing the team spirit and see project failure, too not fulfill his manager role

Team: afraid to share thoughts and ideas (lack of honesty)

(note Bianca-Maria: also based on your experience/own situations, as we would need to ask Tom/team directly)

• Expectations do not match with each other

• Some teammembers does not get along with each other-> Blocking itself situation

• Not used to sit together in person/ frequently together

• Communication issue

• Lack of leadership/ teamspirit

• No Agenda/ no clear expectations/ what deliverables are required

• So Groups are not in the same mindset

(note Bianca-Maria: only some bullet points are really neutral observations - some are assumptions/explanations - try to be as neutral as possible)

Who expects something?

• Tom has a clear expectations in his mind

• Tom expecting solutions

• Group members are expecting from Tom to solve the issue

• The Team expect from Tom to act as a Leader

• Lack of clarity about the background from the Team - Hard to stay at the facts.

• Only fact is that Tom is expecting solutions

  (note Bianca-Maria: yes, only some bullet points are clear, the others are assumptions/explanations/your experiences and we would need to ask the team)

What are they afraid of?
- Tom: Afraid to not meet the expectations from his manager, resignment of the team

- Team: Fear of feeling guilty about the situation

(note Bianca-Maria: also based on your experience/own situations, as we would need to ask Tom/team directly)

No agenda = no clear idea/goal for the meeting,

Group is surprised about the topics. No chance for preparation upfront

Team Event is a positive thing, so group might expect a positive event. turned into negative with Tom's topics.

(note Bianca-Maria: only some bullet points are really neutral observations - some are assumptions/explanations - try to be as neutral as possible)

Who expects something?

Tom: Expects the group to find a solution

Group: More clear vision from Tom about how to solve this issues.

(note Bianca-Maria: the expectations of the team are also assumptions, based on your experience/own situation - the situation here only describes Tom's expectations)

What are they afraid of?
Tom:

• not meeting the dedalines for the project

• "loosing" the team out of his hands

• lack of acceptance of his team

Team:

• not able to reach their project objectives

• fear of getting punished

(note Bianca-Maria: also based on your experience/own situations, as we would need to ask Tom/team directly)

Tom scheduled "Team-Event" with no clear agenda. Meeting is vivid but destructive. Tom is frustrated.

Who expects something?

Tom expects solutions for critical/negative topics.

Team probably expects fun Team-Event

What are they afraid of?
- Tom: Priority-project delayed, no good result, no good teamwork, no good manager

- Team: afraid of Tom, more pressure, no appreciation for work

(note Bianca-Maria: also based on your experience/own situations, as we would need to ask Tom/team directly)

Private:

partner wants to spend more time

Questions to my partner: How much, when and for what? How much do we actually spend?

What is the current status?

Questions to myself: What is in it for me? Does it fit with the me-time I need?

Business: to be always available

Question to others: Do you really need the answer till tonight? Is it really true, that the expectation is to be available ALL the time?

How to handle expectations: be specific in your expectations and ask specifically towards others / the manager; define what it means to you

Private: be successful outside of work

Question: Why? Try to understand what´s behind. Esp. if you feel the pressure and it´s not motivating and energetic