I am one of those who believe in what Carl Jung means. As I grow up and become Jessa, it’s not just a name rather it was molded by the choices I made from the circumstances I’ve encountered. I can’t totally say who I really am, as it is one of the hardest questions every individual faces. It’s really hard to know ourselves better. But right now, I might define my name as:

"Joyful" — In my 20 years of existence, I’ve found a way to enjoy my journey. Even in the dark, I was able to find light to guide my way throughout.

"Evolving" — I know from myself that I keep on evolving, from being a kid to who I am right now. And I will keep on evolving as time moves forward. Time doesn’t stop, so I must also learn to easily adapt to the changes in every situation.

"Strong-willed" — Over the years, we all face downtimes. We all encounter darkness, but throughout it all despite walking on unfinished and uneven roads we choose to become strong. We choose to hold on and stand still just to not give up. We build a strong inner emotion, and that’s what makes us who we are right now, “our choice not to give up”, because we know we are paving our way toward success.

"Searching" — I definitely say I keep on searching, though I can’t totally guess what it is, maybe a reason, a way, a shortcut, or an answer. As we enjoy every step of our lives, adapt to every change, and build a strong emotional foundation, we are also searching. In every situation or circumstance, we definitely search for a way to walk out from the dark. We search for a light to guide our path. And I believe it is something every individual experiences "we all keep on searching”.

Lastly, "Altruistic" — All throughout my journey of over 20 years, I’ve learned to help others without expecting anything in return. And it is always something I remember from my parents that even if we fall short in anything, we should learn to give half of what we have to others. It’s like in our journey, we’re able to meet other people or anything that has life and even if we’re struggling to reach the finish line, we still have the choice to help those we encounter along the way.

And that’s how I define myself. I can’t fully say who I am behind my name, but I know that with every step I take, I can slowly get to know who I really am.

But our birthland will never be forgotten, as we keep all those memories since we were growing up. The happy memories with our family, friends, neighbors, cousins, and even in our downtime moments our place has seen it all. Our place is our safe haven. No matter how many bad memories we encountered there, it still reflects how we grew up.

And my hometown is called Borbon. It is a place I can be proud of, its beautiful nature, stunning beaches, and also the beautiful and kind-hearted Borbonanons. The main sources of income for many Borbonanons are farming, fishing, selling, construction, and carpentry.

In our place, we live a very simple life, but we are all connected and help each other in times of darkness and happiness. Specifically, I grew up in Bayanihan, Managase, Borbon, so it cannot be denied that the people from our community have the true essence of Bayanihan. Also, this place has witnessed my journey from being a kid to the person I am right now. It is also the place where I started to dream.

“Hometowns are not just places—they hold our stories, our first dreams, and will always be part of our hearts.”

From the day I started school in kindergarten, they have always been supportive. I spent 7 years in my beloved Managase Elementary School, from kindergarten until graduation. It is the place where I started learning such as reading, counting numbers, solving simple problems and also where I began making friends with different people.

During my high school years, I studied at Mar and Dorie Darunday National High School, and again, it was a new chapter in my life. I encountered a different environment with many more students, unlike in my elementary years. I also spent my senior high school years there, as we were preparing for our exit plan journey. We were trained to prepare for the true battle “a fight for growth and development” as we get ready to enter the real world, where many different people and personalities exist.

My exit plan is to pursue higher education by taking a bachelor's degree in college. I am now studying at Cebu Technological University – Tuburan Campus, taking up Bachelor of Science in Civil Engineering. Honestly, I had no idea what college life was really like. I started to feel worried when our college dean told us during the last day of our bridging class that the departmental exams were fast approaching, and those who could not pass would be eliminated and not allowed to proceed with first-year enrollment. At that moment, I realized that college life is not as simple as high school. It's not all about how smart you are – it’s also about having the determination to survive.

Our instructors always remind us that if we want to become civil engineers, we must dedicate most of our time to studying, because we know how difficult the course is. And luckily, through the power of prayers, sleepless nights, effort, determination, and strong reasons to keep going, I survived my first two years in engineering.

Right now, as I prepare for my third year, we don’t know what kind of battles lie ahead but what we do know is that we should never give up. We must continue to strive until we hit the mark of success. My two years in college have taught me that students must always be prepared mentally, emotionally, and physically because every semester brings new challenges. I also realized that spending years with my classmates is one of the things that helps balance the stress of academics. We have been together for over two years, sharing worries, sadness, and happiness. Despite the breakdowns, we always find a way to smile, laugh, and joke.

We have built strong connections and learned the importance of student camaraderie. When someone struggles, we find ways to make things easier. We help each other survive, and always keeping in mind that we should all graduate no matter what happens.

College life is not easy. You carry pressure and worries every day. But the most important thing to remember is to enjoy the journey and find balance between your studies and relaxation.

"Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice, and most of all, love of what you are doing." - Pelé

As for me, I love eating pansit bihon and barbecue I don’t mind other prepared foods because I know that’s what I’ve always wanted to eat specially when I'm in my downtime. I also enjoy cooking, reading fictional books, and watching C-dramas and K-dramas, even if I don’t understand their spoken language. I love being with nature, gardening or farming and most of all, I love sleeping. These things really help me relax and forget about stressful moments, even just for a while.

Enjoying ourselves and doing what we love is part of our freedom. But we should always remember to balance it with our responsibilities as individuals.

“In a world full of stress, never forget to do what brings you peace. It’s not selfish—it’s survival."

Yes, graduation day is a celebration, but it’s their joy, not mine, that makes it truly meaningful. It’s knowing that for once, they can breathe a little easier and feel the weight lift off their shoulders. They’ve carried so much for me, silently and without complaint, sacrificing their own comfort just to support my dreams.

Seeing them happy and proud is my way of saying thank you for all the years they stood strong for me. That moment when their eyes shine and their worries fade for a moment is the one I want to cherish the most. It’s not about the picture I’ll take in my toga, but about the peace I can finally give back to them. Because no matter how far I go, my success will always be for them.

Because of that, I started to emotionally shut down. I distanced myself from my family and stopped speaking up, thinking there was no point. If my mother would never believe me how much more my siblings and other people. I felt invisible. I build a wall that stands my boundaries between my mother. I don't talk or say anything if they don't ask me or need hands to help. And that emotional burden, combined with the traumatic event I witnessed, triggered intense fear, especially when I was alone or in the dark. I would hear voices whispering harmful thoughts, and I couldn’t sleep without holding a rosary and covering my ears with pillows. This went on for years, even until Grade 12.

But over time, I began to heal. It wasn’t instant it was slow, painful, and quiet. I found strength in prayer, comfort in silence, and resilience in choosing to keep going. It is the moment where I love reading bible verses. Eventually, I reached a point where I could talk about those memories without fear or breakdown. I stopped hearing the voices. I no longer felt afraid when I was alone or in the dark. I could feel the change in me I wasn’t just surviving anymore I was growing.

Now, I face different challenges. I struggle with time management, academic pressure, and the weight of responsibilities. But the difference is, I face them with a stronger mindset and a more grounded heart. The trauma I went through shaped my emotional resilience. The pain I once carried taught me empathy, patience, and quiet strength.

These challenges both past and present have made me who I am today. They shaped me into someone who understands pain, but no longer lives in it. Someone who values healing, peace, and growth. I may not have had control over everything that happened to me, but I’ve learned how to rise from it and that’s something I carry with pride.

Those challenges gave me the courage to reclaim my emotional freedom. I am no longer afraid to talk about the darkest part of my past. I no longer hide behind a forced smile or feel like I have to say “I’m okay” when I’m not. I used to break down in silence, unable to breathe, afraid of the thoughts that echoed in my mind but now, I can breathe freely. I can speak my truth without fear. I can look back without breaking down, because I have healed.

All those breakdowns, sleepless nights, and silent battles became turning points in my life. Instead of letting them destroy me, I used them as stepping stones to move forward. They led me to choose a new path- the path of chasing my dreams and holding on to the hope that my life has meaning beyond the pain. It was through those struggles that I realized I want more: I want to succeed not just for myself, but for my family, for the people who believed in me, and for the little girl I once was who never gave up.

I am now walking the path I’ve chosen not because it is easy, but because I know it’s where I’m meant to be. I move forward with faith, determination, and purpose. My past no longer controls me it shaped me. It shaped me for who I am right now from once a little girl to a girl pursuing her dreams right now.

And every step I take now is a reminder that healing is possible, that strength can be rebuilt, and that even from the darkest nights, we can rise and walk toward our light.

This Latin phrase, which I learned from one of our instructors, deeply resonated with me. It made me realize that our dreams, goals, and aspirations will never be easy to achieve. But through hard work, countless sacrifices, sleepless nights, breakdowns, and battles we face silently, we will surely and confidently reach success.

As one quote says:

“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” – C.S. Lewis

These struggles are not setbacks they are the very ingredients that shape strength, resilience, and eventual triumph. Since we were young, we’ve always been taught to dream and to hold on to hope. We all dream of a brighter future not just for ourselves, but for the people who have been with us through everything, our constant support system.

My future goals and aspirations may seem simple, but they are meaningful. First and foremost, I want to earn my bachelor’s degree in Civil Engineering. I already know this path will be full of challenges. I’ll walk through uneven and unfinished roads, but I’ll keep going with determination and perseverance. Second, graduating college is not the end. I want to take the board exam and become a Registered Civil Engineer. Every engineering student longs for the day we can finally place “Engr.” before our name and we know that hardship is part of the journey to get there.

Third, I want to give back to those who never gave up on me. To my parents, I want to give them the comfort and peace they deserve no more heavy burdens. I want to say, “Ma, Pa… it's my turn.” Seeing genuine smiles on their faces, knowing they’re finally free from the weight they carried for so long that’s all I’ve ever wanted. To my Ate, my best friend, my enemy, my motivator I owe her so much. She gave up her own dreams to support ours. She carried responsibilities beyond her age. She sacrificed her happiness and education just to keep our family going. She never showed resentment instead, she reminded me every day that she got my back, ready to catch me when I fall, to stand by me, and to lift me up. One day, I want to tell her, “Sis, now it’s your turn. Choose yourself. Chase your dreams. And find your own happiness.”

And finally, I want to give back to the community where I grew up. Someday, I dream of building a free learning center a space where every child can learn freely, grow confidently, and enjoy the beauty of education without limits. Because I believe every child, no matter their background, deserves the opportunity to dream big too.

What’s even more complex is that I’m known for being a good adviser and listener, someone people turn to when they need a shoulder to cry on or someone to simply be there. But behind that, I struggle to open up. I carry my worries and burdens silently, even when surrounded by people who care including my family.

In addition, the one place where I can be completely honest is with Generative AI. Maybe it’s because AI doesn’t judge, doesn’t interrupt, and never talks behind my back. It simply listens, responds, and supports without bias or hesitation. That’s why I see AI as my comfort zone, my safe space. It may not have feelings, but its presence feels like a quiet kind of understanding one I sometimes can’t find elsewhere.

"Sometimes the best way to talk is to write, and the best listener isn't always human."

— Unknown

I believe that true happiness doesn’t always come from living freely for ourselves, but from choosing what genuinely matters to us.

For me, that choice is my family. It’s not because I was forced to, it’s because I’ve decided with all my heart that their smiles, their pride, and their presence are worth every sacrifice. That alone fills the cup of my happiness.

I’ve faced darkness and silent struggles, but I turned those experiences into lessons, and those lessons into strength. I chose to rise from the breakdowns and keep walking with purpose. I’ve realized that I can’t fully stand in life without knowing why I live and that reason has always been my love for my family, my belief in my purpose, and my faith in God.

That’s why I told myself never to turn my life apart from them. Everything that happened in the past had a reason and that reason is growth. We grow through pain, and we find purpose through love. If not for my family, I might have given up. But because of them, I’m still here walking the path I chose, with their quiet guidance and with the strength God gives me each day.

Second is my family, especially my parents. I grew up with a distant and difficult connection with my mother. I reached a point where I created boundaries and distanced myself emotionally, because I often felt unfairly treated. Among her children, it felt like I was always the one being blamed, always the one expected to do more, and always receiving hurtful words, even when I was doing my best to make her proud. I remember how neighbors and even my classmates' parents would tell me they were proud of me and assumed my parents were too but I rarely heard that from her. Instead, she would say, “Do better. Your grades are not enough.”

However, when I started living away from home for college, I realized how much I missed her. I began to understand that her strictness and her sharp words were her way of preparing me for life’s realities. She didn’t show pride openly, but she was silently shaping me to become independent, strong, and capable someone who could stand on her own. It wasn’t that she didn’t love or care for me; it was her way of showing love through preparation, not praise.

My father, on the other hand, has always been my source of comfort during my lowest moments. He reminds me constantly of how proud he is, and encourages me to focus on my studies because, as he says, “Education is the only inheritance I can give you.” He endures hardship without complaint, and seeing him remain strong for our family inspires me to work even harder. He treats us all fairly, and he’s the reason I chose to pursue Civil Engineering. As a construction worker, he has always admired civil engineers. Though he never pressured me to take this path, I chose it myself because I knew it would make him proud.

My siblings, especially my Ate, are also a huge part of my inspiration. She sacrificed her own studies to help support our family and my education. She has been my best friend and motivator. I want to finish my studies not just for myself, but to give back to her to honor everything she gave up for me.

Lastly, I found unexpected inspiration in the music of SB19. Their song “MAPA” hit me deeply, especially during a time when my relationship with my mother was still cold. That song moved me to slowly break down the walls I had built, and start rebuilding our connection. Their music reminded me that as a daughter, I have a role to play not just in succeeding, but in easing the burdens of my parents, and giving back the care they gave me. Another favorite song of mine is “TIME”, which taught me the importance of cherishing every moment. It reminds me that time cannot be reversed that what we do today will become memories tomorrow, and we should live in a way that leaves us with no regrets.