ma-pressure/drain

My backpain

- Everything that already happened and will happen.

- My feelings.

–Power tripping ft guilt tripping from your aunties(worst feeling evuhhh)

–My PTSD especially pag may nakaka trigger

–Nabubulol ak pagnakaka istorya ko hi crushiehumpiepumpkinmunchkin(ads)

– self-pity

– Anxiety

Everytime i go to school or any other place that is crowded i really can't control being insecure.

i love being alone because waray disturbance and no one will look at my mistakes.

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The pressure of making mistakes, it narrows down my availability to adapt to situations when "mistakes" is holding a knife at your throat.

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Overthinking everything, I'm a very observant person because of that i often overthink all my actions leading to unclarities.

na lulumbay sapagkat iba ang deriksyon na ating tinungo,

minahal pero napasuko

nag hahangad na kayang tuparin ang mga pangako...

para kang bituin,

maganda, payapa ngunit di kayang abutin, hangang tingin...

gustohing mang makita ngunit ayaw ng damdamin, iniisip na biglang mapapa amin.. namimiss kita.

panay scroll sa fb nag hahangad na kahit larawan ay masilayan, ngiting kay liwanag ng buwan mga matang kay kislap ng mga bituin, hangang tingin...

sumulat ng tula upang maipahayag ang damdamin, ngunit katulad ng damdamin di ko ma bahin....

mga tanong sa isipan di kayang sagotan, sumuko ng tuluyan...

gabi ay malalim at madilim na parang may nag mamasid sa akin, pinilit mang hanapin ngunit di ma tanto ng damdamin...

hangang ti

ngin.....

• People's Opinion/POV — we can't control what they say, what they are saying and what they are going to say. But for me the best way to handle this is to never listen, always put in your mind na as long as waray ka ginhihimo na maraot ha iba na tawo, then go for it.

• Thoughts In Mind — especially every night, hard to control mga thoughts na halo-halo tas danay dire maintindihan. sometimes, it's also the pressure about acads, about your future, and also events from the past (reminiscing). I handle it like go with the flow, ginpapabay an hasta na kumalma it mind and let God handle the rest.

• Unrequited Love/One Sided Love/Situationship — this has been one of things that makes me sad in life and doubting myself in continuing forward. I am used to it pero syempre it's still hurts. As someone who always put everything when it comes to loving someone, it hurts as hell feeling this kind of scenario. You know ito ngani na "Almost is Never Enough". "Almost" is one of the saddest and hurtful words when it comes to love. Almost in everything, yet never enough para maging kamo. Giving you the kind of action of what a lover do, pero in the end it was just all casual and maybe (for fun). We can't control this kind of scenario, for me the best way to overcome this is Acceptance, Reflection, Realization and Moving Forward bisan makuri, masakit ngan maiha nga process just like in may case. Know that it's just redirection, that you deserve someone better, better than ever. So I hope we could manifest this for us all that is experiencing this kind of lifetime scenario.

asking myself if this is right or wrong.

self-pressure, doubt.

emotions that I can't explain (umiiyak sa walang dahilan or mabibigatan ang dibdib or malulungkot bigla)

*never mind, you were never mine🎤

-Nagasaki