5131 (look at it upside-down) by Jet

diordnas — 2015-11-19 22:43:23 UTC

Last night I dreamed that I was weightless! I was like, 0mg (explanation: 0mg = Zero Milligrams)

TheGreenCow — 2015-11-19 22:40:26 UTC

Sandro: Silver

Talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen for his farmer. He comes back and says ‘All 40 accounted for.’ Farmer says, ‘I’ve only got 36!’ Sheepdog replies, ‘I know, but I rounded them up.'

TheGreenCow — 2015-11-19 22:38:54 UTC

Three statisticians go hunting. After a while they find a single rabbit. The first takes aim and undershoots, the second takes aim and overshoots. The third yells "We got him!" (Explanation: the average place the bullets hit was the rabbit)

diordnas — 2015-11-19 00:57:22 UTC

2015-11-19 01:09:52 UTC

Sandro: Silver

diordnas — 2015-11-19 01:09:07 UTC

diordnas — 2015-11-19 01:08:42 UTC

diordnas — 2015-11-19 01:08:18 UTC

diordnas — 2015-11-19 01:06:17 UTC

2015-11-19 01:00:00 UTC

Sandro: Silver

Jet: None

TheGreenCow — 2015-11-19 00:51:26 UTC

Sandro: Gold

TheGreenCow — 2015-11-19 00:50:12 UTC

Sandro: Platinum

Jet: Gold

2015-11-19 00:49:51 UTC

Sandro: Gold

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

MrSam123 — 2015-11-19 00:46:49 UTC

Sandro: Platinum

diordnas — 2015-11-19 00:45:54 UTC

diordnas — 2015-11-19 00:41:10 UTC

diordnas — 2015-11-19 00:40:35 UTC

diordnas — 2015-11-19 00:39:16 UTC

Jet: Bronze

diordnas — 2015-11-19 00:39:02 UTC

Jet: Bronze

diordnas — 2015-11-19 00:38:48 UTC

Jet: Gold

Water joke: HOH HOH HOH

diordnas — 2015-11-19 00:22:58 UTC

Jet: Silver

You think he knows every chemical joke in existance? How prephosphorous!

MrSam123 — 2015-11-18 23:44:50 UTC

Jet: Bronze

Old chemists never die, they just stop reacting.

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:41:43 UTC

Jet: Silver

Q: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? A: OH SNaP!

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:40:17 UTC

Jet: Silver

Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? A: H2O cubed.

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:39:54 UTC

Jet: Bronze

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? A: HeHe

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:36:19 UTC

Jet: Silver

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:35:59 UTC

Jet: AU

Helium walks into a bar, The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here." Helium doesn't react.

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:35:41 UTC

Jet: Silver

What is the most important rule in chemistry? Never lick the spoon

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:26:16 UTC

Jet: Silver

Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:25:42 UTC

Jet: Gold

If the silver surfer and iron man teamed up, they'd be an alloy

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:13:30 UTC

Jet: Silver

What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:13:02 UTC

Jet: Bronze

diordnas — 2015-11-18 23:08:25 UTC

Jet: Silver

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

diordnas — 2015-11-18 22:57:10 UTC

Jet: Silver

The B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stands for Benoît B. Mandelbrot.

diordnas — 2015-11-18 22:48:43 UTC

Jet: Gold

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house. They watch as two people go into the house, and then a little later, three people walk out.The physicist says, “The initial measurement was incorrect.”The biologist says, “They must have reproduced.”And the mathematician says, “If exactly one person enters that house, it will be empty.”

diordnas — 2015-11-18 22:48:00 UTC

Jet: Gold

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?A: One: she gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that has already been solved.

diordnas — 2015-11-18 22:47:27 UTC

Jet: Silver

A: “What is the integral of 1/cabin?”B: “log cabin.”A: “Nope, houseboat–you forgot the C.”

diordnas — 2015-11-18 22:46:18 UTC

Jet: Silver

There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river… It was 3 feet deep on average.

diordnas — 2015-11-18 22:45:53 UTC

Jet: Platinum

TheGreenCow — 2015-11-18 01:08:37 UTC

Jet: Silver

Will

TheGreenCow — 2015-11-18 01:00:42 UTC

Jet: Gold

diordnas — 2015-11-17 23:15:28 UTC

Jet: Silver

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 23:10:14 UTC

Jet: Gold

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 23:09:51 UTC

Jet: Silver

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 23:02:33 UTC

Sandro: None

Jet: Silver

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 23:02:39 UTC

Jet: Gold

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 23:02:30 UTC

Sandro: Bronze

Jet: Silver

Put Doctor Who jokes on my Doctor Who padlet or die. This is not a joke, it is a system message.

jetthe1089mathnerd — 2015-11-17 22:54:52 UTC

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 22:49:48 UTC

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

Jet: Bronze

Ajhir

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 22:40:05 UTC

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

Sandro: Silver

Jet: Silver

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 22:48:10 UTC

A man assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.

Sandro: Silver

Jet: Silver

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 22:46:24 UTC

When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.

Jet: Gold

Sandro: Platinum

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 22:41:20 UTC

So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!? It's not the end of the world!

Sandro: Gold

Jet: Silver

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 22:38:11 UTC

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Jet: Gold

Ajhor

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 22:35:57 UTC

Jet: Silver

Sandro:

jetthe1089mathnerd — 2015-11-17 22:35:49 UTC

Since you posted three platinum jokes, you are MODERATOR and invited to my panel of judges. Good luck!

Lost your electron? Are you positive?

diordnas — 2015-11-17 03:25:00 UTC

Jet: Bronze

Two men walked into a bar. One ordered H2O. The other said "I'll have some H2O too." The second man died.

TheGreenCow — 2015-11-17 02:57:01 UTC

Sandro: Platinum

Jet: Gold

What do you call an avocado cut into 6.023 x 10e+23 pieces? Guacamole.

diordnas — 2015-11-17 02:54:54 UTC

Jet: Gold

Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium BATMAN!!! (The chemical symbol for sodium is Na)

diordnas — 2015-11-17 02:52:45 UTC

Jet: Silver

I would tell a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.

diordnas — 2015-11-17 02:51:28 UTC

Jet: Bronze

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the full stop. It marks the end of his sentence.

MrSam123 — 2015-11-17 01:38:59 UTC

Sandro: Bronze

Jet: Silver

diordnas — 2015-11-17 00:53:58 UTC

Jet: Platinum

diordnas — 2015-11-17 00:44:30 UTC

Jet: Silver

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

MrSam123 — 2015-11-17 00:43:53 UTC

Sandro: Platinum

diordnas — 2015-11-17 00:43:34 UTC

Jet: Bronze

diordnas — 2015-11-17 00:43:07 UTC

Jet: Silver

diordnas — 2015-11-17 00:42:52 UTC

Jet: Double Platinum

diordnas — 2015-11-17 00:42:37 UTC

Jet: Platinum

diordnas — 2015-11-17 00:38:07 UTC

Jet: Bronze

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

MrSam123 — 2015-11-17 00:36:42 UTC

BTW I am Sam

Jet: Silver

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 00:35:44 UTC

Jet: Bronze

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 00:34:36 UTC

Jet: Gold

Sonic sunglasses? What's the point of that? It's like a visual hearing aid.

diordnas — 2015-11-17 00:31:51 UTC

Jet: Bronze

Medal list:

jetthe1089mathnerd — 2015-11-17 00:22:19 UTC

None: 0-4

Bronze: 5-6

Silver: 7-8

Gold: 9

Platinum: 10

Double Platinum: Two Platinum awards

Triple Platinum: Two Double Platinum awards and moderator.

Quad Platinum: Two Triple Platinum awards and admin.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

wellshutup — 2015-11-17 00:19:05 UTC

Jet: Bronze

I entered 10 puns into a competition, hoping at least one would win. Sadly, no pun intended (no pun in ten did)

diordnas — 2015-11-17 00:15:47 UTC

Jet: Silver

Mod list 16/11/15:

1089801 — 2015-11-15 23:27:45 UTC

Jet

Olivia

Sandro