Lily Google Sites Peer Feedback 2019 - 2020 by Lilia Skawinski https://padlet.com/26lskawinski/jorsr6lc8q0q Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 19:28:49 UTC 2021-03-24 12:35:11 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f363.png story feed back 26mksheehy https://padlet.com/26lskawinski/jorsr6lc8q0q/wish/420851903 I like how you expanded on the part when skylar is bonding and talking with her sister. I think it really wraps up the ending of your story very nicely. I also enjoyed how you used to show not tell. Like in the beginning when you said the tall brown tree shadows covey my face. The only hope I have is in the beginning maybe you can describe a little more how skylar is ungrateful in the beginning!  I loved your story you worked hard on it and it paid off!



]]> 2019-12-06 16:37:51 UTC https://padlet.com/26lskawinski/jorsr6lc8q0q/wish/420851903 Story Feedback 26egoldstein https://padlet.com/26lskawinski/jorsr6lc8q0q/wish/422375643 I think a strength in your story is these few sentences “ My stomach rumbles oh god I really don’t feel like making anything I guess I have to. I run downstairs and...Yikes! Yup you guessed it fell down the stairs, of course why wouldn't I? Anyway i'll just make myself a turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato. I eat it all up in a minute. Oh my gosh I was starving. School is almost over and Emily will walk home with Katy and her other friends. Since were twins we kind of have to have the same friends. I decided to go back to my room once I finished and take a nap.” I liked this paragraph because it has good sensory detail and has very good description. Another strength is this part of your story “GO AHEAD CRY BUT THAT”S NOT GOING TO CHANGE ANYTHING!” after shouting that he storms off. I watch mom through the window doing all kinds of work scrubbing the counter cooking helping customers that walk in. Horrible horrible thats what shes going through!?!? I was wrong about everything. How could I be so dumb?
I turn my back and head home speechless thoughtless. I get confused what is this feeling? Emptiness.” I like how you added detail in how she feels like and what she is thinking, I also liked how you described what she is seeing and what other people are doing around her. I wish you would fix this part in your story “ He eats it all in 2 minutes and I pick him up and play with him for a bit. My stomach rumbles oh god I really don’t feel like making anything I guess I have to. I run downstairs and...Yikes! Yup you guessed it fell down the stairs, of course why wouldn't I? Anyway i'll just make myself a turkey sandwich with lettuce and tomato. I eat it all up in a minute. Oh my gosh I was starving.” And also add more detail and how she was feeling and what kind of food she wants and other stuff to make it more visible to the reader. 






]]> 2019-12-10 19:18:18 UTC https://padlet.com/26lskawinski/jorsr6lc8q0q/wish/422375643 Story Feedback-Kristina Nitro https://padlet.com/26lskawinski/jorsr6lc8q0q/wish/422481011 Lily, I love your story! It is wonderful! A strength that is occured in your story is that you update us on the setting very well. Like For example, when Skylar was running away you showed us how she went from the school, to the streets, than to Alfonso's, then back to her house. You helped me develope where Skylar is going very easily. It was easy to keep up with her with all that outstanding detail you popped in! Another thing in your story that I adore is your theme. I really like your theme because it could inspire people to respect others who haven't been to nice to them. My favorite part in your story is when Skylar learns that her mom works her hardest just to care for them. Skylar learns that she is ungrateful and selfish. I like that part because when Skylar learned her lesson, she felt like a new person. Plus the way you showed that was spectacular! But a tiny suggestion I could give you is to try and add a little more dialouge/thoughts to the part where Skylar is running away from school, than she see's her mom. I think you should add a little more dialouge/thoughts because than the reader will understand more on how Skylar feels. Overall, great story Lily! :) ]]> 2019-12-10 22:47:10 UTC https://padlet.com/26lskawinski/jorsr6lc8q0q/wish/422481011 Feedback-Maddy Sheehy https://padlet.com/26lskawinski/jorsr6lc8q0q/wish/1347568331 I love your story so much and it was really nicely balanced and you put a great amount of research mixed with your perspective and the towns benefit, you also did a really good job on the hook when you waited to say they topic because it kept me interested to keep reading, Good job!]]> 2021-03-24 12:34:49 UTC https://padlet.com/26lskawinski/jorsr6lc8q0q/wish/1347568331