https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-21 15:31:30 UTC 2023-02-17 19:40:33 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f34c.png 29spinsky https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2354650122 I was incredibly intrigued with the beautiful deteats in explanation of your surroundings and thoughts. I really felt like I was in the moment right there, and you really added many wonderful details to keep the reader at ease. I loved how the moments in your head were quick and speedy so the reader would enjoy the story. Even though this moment is only a few seconds you put strong emotions and feelings. I think your memoir would be perfection all you need to do is fix your little grammar mistakes and your story would be ecsquisit.

]]> 2022-10-25 02:12:13 UTC https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2354650122 https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2403882095 A strength of your narrative,”The Miraculous Shoes,” is all of the great descriptions and sensory details. I liked when you would describe the setting of your story. It helped me as a reader to picture the setting and everything that was going on more clearly! For example, when you say “The flashing lights beaming through the glass window at the end of the street, the house is covered with trees and plants.” I could understand the setting clearly and what was going on. In addition, I like the dialogue you used. Right away I could hear and picture your story in my head as I read. However, I think you could work on your ending sentence by adding more details and try to repeat yourself less by using different wording. Overall I enjoyed the plot of your story!

]]> 2022-11-30 16:55:35 UTC https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2403882095 https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2404126794 A strength of your narrative,“The Miraculous shoes,”was that you used great description and sensory details. I liked the part of your story when you were describing the setting and how it looks. It helped me as a reader question myself and act like I was in r that moment with your character. Like when you said in life there are many surprises It really made me think to myself. So good job on that. In addition, I like how you added inner thoughts. I felt like they were in the perfect spot like when I was confused. The inner thought helped me realize what is happening. I really like the inner thoughts you used in your piece. I felt like it really gave. A good plot on your narrative. However, A suggestion I can offer for improvement is the ending I felt like there was missing details I felt like it was really short I felt like if you added explore the moment and show not tell it could have been better but overall I really like your narrative.

]]> 2022-11-30 19:40:12 UTC https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2404126794 https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2486550600 Hello, Mo. I really liked reading your piece, It popped out very good. One thing I really liked about your writing was how much detail you put into 1 paragraph. It’s really impressive. I also really love how you formatted and how many transition words you used. My one wish is about commas, some commas are out of place and do not make sense. ]]> 2023-02-17 16:45:28 UTC https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2486550600 https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2486701402 Hi, Mo! A strength of you essay was your sensory details I felt like you added really good sensory details and good word choice to bump up your piece. Another strength about you essay is your explanation I felt like if I was stuck the explanation help me understand what it meant. One wish that I have of your essay was that you were missing some information like run on sentence. But otherwise amazing job!!!]]> 2023-02-17 19:13:08 UTC https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2486701402 https://padlet.com/29mabdullah/jeewrj5qphoohrno/wish/2486715776 Hey Mo! One strength in your essay would be that your piece was really elaborated. It had lots of sensory details and you had lots of examples of what bad would happen if this didn’t happen. Another strength in your essay was how you had lots of good questions that you answered strongly with an exclamation. One thing I would change about the essay is toward the end you just rushed a little and there were parts where it didn’t really make sense for some parts. Overall this was a very good essay  

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