Luciana-HGoogle Sites Peer Feedback 2021 - 2022 by Luciana Hathcock https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 18:14:31 UTC 2022-03-08 15:52:51 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/26bd.png Kathleen L. 28klepkowski https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/1796803061 What I really liked about your writing piece is that you acted like you were being interviewed and meeting someone for the first time, which I really liked. I also loved how you told the readers “if you don’t like me I don’t care.” I really think that shows who you are inside. One thing that I feel like you could change is the title. I don’t think it fits yourself, a suggestion is Lu’s soccer field of words. I loved your writing. Keep up the good work!


]]> 2021-10-06 14:54:31 UTC https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/1796803061 About Me 28psmith2 https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/1797327723 You did really well in your piece. One thing that stood out was how you made it a Disney ride. Very creative. Also I liked how you talked about soccer. One thing however is that you were very aggressive at the end and that was scary. But overall good job.]]> 2021-10-06 17:36:18 UTC https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/1797327723 Brianna P. https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/1800072706 When I was reading your piece, I thought you really did a good job expressing yourself. You also did a really good job with putting in the things you liked. When you were talking about the things you like to do, you put a really good amount of information explaining why you like the things you like. Another thing you did well was when you talked about your friends and family. When you said that if someone doesn’t like you, you won’t really care and I think that line really expresses who you are as a person. One thing I think you could work on is just punctuation but other than that you did an amazing job. ]]> 2021-10-07 14:49:15 UTC https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/1800072706 Lila Craven https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/1800557347 Something I really liked about your piece is the part where you talk about soccer. The description that you use explains how much you really love it. Something that made me want to keep reading your piece is when you talk about your friends, and how they are like sisters to you. I loved the description you used. Something that caught my eye is the punktionation. There are a couple places I think you could add camas ( , ) and Periods. For example here it didn't really make much sense “The also showed the.” Last example I saw is “ you know you mean the world to me I have three friends that” you forgot the period. Other than that, I love your piece!]]> 2021-10-07 17:32:53 UTC https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/1800557347 Avery S. https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/1801339672 Hey Lu! I really enjoyed reading your About Me,  “ Lu’s Magical Disney Ride”. I love how you included how you felt when playing soccer. When you said, “ When I get a goal I feel like I’m on a stage and everyone is cheering for me”.  I felt like I got to know you better as a soccer player. In addition, I liked how you said, “ One more thing that people know about me is if you mess with my friends or my family you will never hear the end of me”.  It told me how much you care about your friends and family. However, one suggestion I could make is to change the title a bit. I feel like it doesn’t tell me about you or what your writing will be like in the future, but overall a really amazing piece! ]]> 2021-10-08 01:34:38 UTC https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/1801339672 Essay-Peyton S. https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/2082299409 Hi, Luciana! A strength of your essay is the anecdotes. They really make the reader feel more engaged and help understand what students with uniforms go through. Additionally, I really liked the way you incorporated metaphors and similes. THey really made the emotion stronger and helped paint a picture in the reader’s mind. However, a suggestion is that after your transition words you don't have comas. Other than that you had a brilliant essay!]]> 2022-03-07 18:33:23 UTC https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/2082299409 Brianna P. https://padlet.com/28lhathcock/jb8s4hf3nzpn03gk/wish/2084283604 Hey Lu! I really enjoyed reading your piece! Something I think you did well was the description in the starting paragraph. When you said, “Imagine a girl sobbing in tears as if there’s a waterfall on her face, or as if there’s a pool starting to fill in the ground from all the tears piling up like football players on the field. Red burning circles on her eyes like the sun was strolling around on her eyes, like a fireplace just got made, like if they were hamburgers cooking on a grill” it painted a good picture on how upset she was. It also uses good references to things in real life. Another thing you did well in your piece was your reason sentence in your second crews paragraph. When you put, “they are not allowed to express themselves because they have to wear crusty,itchy,long,dreadful clothes that the Evil school made them wear, it's like the students are in a prison” the description was outstanding. It made a clear image on what the uniforms look like and how the students really feel while wearing them. One thing I would make sure to do is add commas after all of the transitions, but besides that you did an amazing job!


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