Family Expectation Tree by

The Grandparents

drowell553 — 2025-05-09 13:53:12 UTC

The only thing Marilyn's mother wanted was for Marilyn to find a good husband. When it wasn't up to her standards, she and Marilyn grew apart. She ended up living a lonely, unfulfilled life, dying with no legacy to leave behind, with the only memory of her left being a cookbook. Upon realizing this, Marilyn vowed to never end up like her mother. to never life a life unfulfilled or forgotten, which is why she pushed Lydia so hard into striving for success.

James grew up in a society that ignored him. And even when they did see him, they mocked him for who he was. His parents nonetheless had high expectations for him, wanting him to become the best and succeed at everything he could. His insecurities began to foster, as he began to yearn for a sense of acceptance and belonging, which we would then push onto his children, mainly Lydia. He believed being socially popular would help make Lydia blend into society.

The Parents

drowell553 — 2025-05-13 13:49:39 UTC

Marilyn pressured Lydia into living a life that she couldn't have. Marilyn's dream was to become a doctor, but she never got to achieve it because she fell in love and had children to take care of. This dream, accompanied with the fear of never accomplishing dreams (like her mother), is what directly influenced Marilyn's pressure onto Lydia. She was living her dream through Lydia, never even considering if it was what Lydia really wanted, which caused her to become blind to the damage she was doing.

James pressured Lydia into blending in with the crowds. His hope was to blend into society, which formed due his experiences from his childhood, where he was mocked for his heritage. James pressured Lydia into conforming to society and becoming popular through his gift, a locket which represented what he wanted for her. He knowingly pushed his own insecurities onto Lydia, making her feel the need to prove herself, which damaged her mental state and emotional well-being.

Lydia

drowell553 — 2025-05-13 13:51:45 UTC

Lydia typically is secretive and often keeps to herself. Her dream was to be free. She wanted to be free of her burdens and allowed to express who she truly was to her family. Her fear was that her family wouldn't accept her true self, which caused her to keep her distance from them and rebel secretly. Despite this, Lydia saw the struggles of her parents, resulting in her thinking that she needed to carry on their dreams, even if it wasn't what she wanted for herself.

Impact of society and setting

drowell553 — 2025-05-15 13:23:40 UTC

The pressure to assimilate: Everything I never told you took place during 1977, in a small all-american town, which is predominately white. Since the Lee family was pretty much the only family to have a different racial heritage, the pressure to assimilate was at an all time high, especially for James. To him, his family stood out too much. In order to be protected, they would need to blend in with society in order to survive.

Societal expectation of being perfect: The standard of being a "perfect family" was an unspoken norm for families in the 1970s. Both Marilyn and James grew up with parents that wanted them to succeed and achieve a perfect life in some way or form, which they would both end up rubbing off onto their children, particularly Lydia.