Andy C. Peer Feedback 2022 - 2023 by Andrew Chan https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046 Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-26 16:02:36 UTC 2023-06-15 13:50:58 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f3c8.png Jackson DeGaetano 29jdegaetano https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2405349274 I really liked how much detail you added and how you really expanded your story. You could have just wrote a boring sentence many times, but you added a lot of detail to the story making it great.
You were very creative with your story as well. You added in many creative things that happened throughout the story, lengthening it and making it more interesting.
You did have a lot of spelling and grammar errors throughout the story though. You didn’t use capitalization, indents, commas, etc. 


]]> 2022-12-01 15:49:08 UTC https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2405349274 Jackson DeGaetano https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2486503570 I really liked your introduction paragraph because it really shows how much fun kids have playing video games. Another thing I liked was your transition words because it was a very good word choice. One thing that you missed was highlighting everything and indenting the first paragraph.]]> 2023-02-17 16:01:48 UTC https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2486503570 Robert https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2493972769 Your cool]]> 2023-02-24 14:55:03 UTC https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2493972769 Big Motorboat 29jdegaetano https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2525553512 One star I had for your piece was your explanation. Right off the bat, I saw how long it was compared to the other pieces, and when reading it, it was not just quantity, it was quality. Another star on your piece is the way that you wrote your claim. The vocabulary was very good, and it seems like you spent a lot of time on it. One wish would be was that I felt like you wrote, “The Pixar Short The Present”, too much. Love you chanman]]> 2023-03-21 15:00:31 UTC https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2525553512 https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2525912598 Hi andy! I have strengths and stars for your paragraph. I think something good was the explanation specifically when you said “This means that the kid doesn't have any self-love during this point” I feel this is very strong and holds the evidence and the explanation together very well. Another strength I have for you is when you say “the kid looks at his legs and remembers he and the dog both have a missing leg too” this shows the connection they have together and the similarities they share. 
I do wish that you stop using self love as much as you did and try to think of why they bonded so quickly.
]]> 2023-03-21 18:38:33 UTC https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2525912598 Hey Andy, I really like how you exampled a powerfull explainatgion 2. Although the claim and the sum are different it gives the American message in a stronger way. But I think if had improved word choice could make even better. https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2526225358 2023-03-22 00:12:22 UTC https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2526225358 Jack Richie https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2534273067 Hey, Andy! To start off throughout your whole paragraph you have put in as much work as you possibly could have in the amount of time that you were given to finish it and you did a great for the amount of time. In addition, you used extremely good evidence in your explanation of your paragraph. The way you explained your evidence was great and very well detailed as well as some great transitions throughout your explanation. However, there were parts in your paragraph that needed a little bit more of rewording. An example of this is when you said “never be rude because karma will be rude back.” You could have changed it up and said instead “never being rude to others because karma will always come back to bite you.”]]> 2023-03-28 02:51:37 UTC https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2534273067 https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2623491485 To start things off my wish is to delete the first slide. It would look way better if you did that. I liked how your topic was Tyler the creator. It can bring in more viewers to like your topic because it is different than everyone else’s. I also liked how you put in a lot of detail. Like when you said “he wears a baseball cap”.


]]> 2023-06-14 14:07:36 UTC https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2623491485 A strength in your information presentation, “Tyler, the creator’s creation” is your hook. Your hook pulls the reader into the story so they are interested in your topic. In addition, I like your details and word choice. I like how you talked mostly all about Tyler and his songs. Although I don’t think the first slide is necessary. It would be better if you deleted the slide. https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2624588609 2023-06-15 13:50:58 UTC https://padlet.com/29achan1/j42gxxj8x315v046/wish/2624588609