🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𓍯𓂃✨ 5̳6̳7̳8̳.𝟓𝟎✨ 🖍️ ╚══════nn════════════╝

The twenty-first century is called the era of technological devices and artificial intelligence. Therefore, many different views about the benefits and the disadvantages of this development are given and discussed. One of the controversial issues today is 💥a highly debatable issue (verbose) -> whether modern communication technology brings harmful effects on social relationships. Although at first I was convinced about these bad effects, I firmly believe that modern communication technology will strengthen social bonds if people can control and restrict themselves 💥in the right way -> properly/ appropriately.

My practical argument in support of connecting through technological devices is to eliminate geographical distance between people. Not all people are near their friends, their family, their partners, or their relatives so it is extremely important to bond and maintain 💥this relationship -> these relationships through online communication. People just need to press 💥one -> a button to chat, to call video, and to contact other people immediately if they want. For example, many companies have foreign partners and they need to frequently talk with each other about their organizations. The cost of business travel and the 💥far distance (unnatural expression) -> long distance are two difficult elements if employers choose to interact face-to-face with their 💥national -> international co-workers. This condition not only helps people in professional life but also in personal life. 💥With abroad students or migrated people (unnatural expression) -> For students studying abroad or migrants, the internet and technology are extremely important to them. They need to live and study far from their parents and 💥far from -> away from their hometown. Technological devices give them more chances to contact their family. In addition, in some cases those items help 💥migrated -> migrant and foreign students translate the words they do not 💥to support their conservation (grammar) -> know to support their conversation with their 💥national -> local friends. As a result, with 💥the communication through technology -> technological communication, geographical distance is not 💥an unconscious -> a significant barrier between any relationships.

Despite this, others suppose that connecting too much through technology will reduce their confidence and 💥interacting skill -> interpersonal skills. Some users rely on texting and chatting to contact others instead of talking or hanging out. The advocates of this view believe that the 💥sense -> experience of talking face-to-face 💥and through screen -> and through a screen is very different. Therefore, in some cases, people will 💥less use -> use less and practice their communication skills and feel 💥anxiety when face-to-face -> anxious in face-to-face interactions. However, this statement is just true for people who do not use the video call function in 💥tecnological (spelling) -> technological devices. This modern function 💥help (grammar) -> helps people have 💥a reality conversations (grammar) -> real conversations with their partners; they can see others' faces and talk together like face-to-face. Even 💥though -> so, these support devices can create more chances for people to have more friends and also 💥learns (grammar) -> learn more ways to behave through talking to strangers. And with some 💥peope (thật luôn? and but so đầu câu? sửa cả people nữa, chung chung) , this problem can be solved if people can restrict their screen time and frequently hangout 💥with new friends on the internet after contacting online (unnatural expression) -> with new friends they met online.

In conclusion, modern communication technology may bond people’s relationships with more strength both in professional and personal life. People also have more opportunities to make friends and learn more about behaviourS in society from interacting with strangers. However, to avoid increasing 💥the anxiety feelings -> feelings of anxiety or having a negative impact on communication skills, people should not abuse technological devices to connect with others and just see them as 💥the support tools (unnatural expression) -> supportive tools. Using them to make hangout appointments ...-> is recommended.

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𓍯𓂃🖍️

It is a highly debatable issue whether school children should be given homework or not💥 in order to bring the most effective results (AI BRING?)𓂃𓈒để đạt kết quả tốt nhất: to achieve the best outcomes. Although I am partly convinced by the former argument, I subscribe that teacher should give homework to students to help them💥 practice previous knowledge and also (make sense with new lessons)𓂃𓈒ổn luyện kiến thức đã học và hiểu rõ bài mới: review learned material and comprehend new lessons. However, this activity will bring benefits if exercises are assigned in a sufficient amount.

• I used to think that learning new instruments by an individual is possible and easy. But as I have gained more experience in my school, I have realized that playing instruments without instructors is extremely difficult.Teachers teach students many special and unique skills which they have gained through experiences to help their pupils learn more effectively and more easily. Although people can learn theories by video or from the internet, they need a teacher to guide and point out mistakes when they practice. Therefore, I strongly believe it is not easy to learn to play an instrument without teachers. 

2. What do you think of running as a form of exercise? ( e nghĩ j về môn tập chạy?)

• I am the kind of person who really enjoys doing exercise and trying many common and rare exercises. I usually participate in many morning exercise events and I believe that running is a dangerous exercise. I have heard many accidents which happened just after running and I could also see this consequence while I was going home last week. For example, people may have bond diseases or even pass away while or just after running. The accidents of this activity may happen suddenly and quite dangerous, so I think people should not do this exercise frequently.

3. Do you usually help people around you?

• Ở trong văn hoá của người Việt Nam chúng tôi, văn hoá giúp đỡ, sẻ chia với nhau vô cùng phổ biến và được coi trọng. Người Việt Nam chúng tôi được học về cách hành xử văn minh này từ khi còn học mẫu giáo. Vì vậy mỗi khi có cơ hội tôi đều cố gắng hết mình để giúp đỡ những người đang ở trong hoàn cảnh khó khăn. Tôi cũng thường xuyên tham gia các hoạt động tình nguyện và quyên góp vừa để giúp bản thân cảm thấy vui vẻ hơn khi giúp đỡ được người khác, vừa góp phần tạo ra những cơ hội mới cho những người có hoàn cảnh khó khăn.

  
  

  4. Do you use robots in your daily life?

• I would say that robots are a necessary and useful item for me. I have many types of robots at home such as a cleaning robot or a cooking robot. Those help me to save a lot of time and reduce stress. I frequently use them to do household chores and one interesting thing is that I can remotely control them to work even when I'm not at home.  I know those items have great value in terms of both money and function. However, through my experiences, I strongly believe that robots deserve to have big expenditures from people.

5. What is your favorite number?

• Number 2 is my favorite and also my lucky number. Since childhood, I was impressed by the appearance of this number, because I think it is written softer than others. Although some people believe that the meaning of this number is unlucky, number 2 is always my preferred choice in both personal and professional life.

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𓍯𓂃✨ 5̳6̳7̳8̳.𝟓𝟎✨ 🖍️ ╚══════nn════════════╝

It is a highly debate issue (GR, wc) -> debated issue/ contentious issue whether crime is a result of social problems and poverty or a bad person’s nature. Some believe that disadvantaged people need to do illegal activities to live (ko need! phải đành) -> resort to illegal activities to survive/ engage in illegal activities to make a living despite understanding the consequences, or that criminals are affected by the conditions of their upbringing. Others suppose that the wrongdoers’ personality (GR) -> wrongdoers' personalities is a root of their bad activities. In my opinion, the habitat that people grow up in is an important element which impacts their lives a lot (exp, vc) -> environment in which people grow up significantly impacts their lives/ upbringing environment greatly influences their lives, so maybe it is a reason which promotes crime.

One justification for rooting criminals (exp) -> the root of criminal behavior/ explaining the cause of criminal behavior has to do with criminals. With poor people, earning money is not easy because of their low qualifications or their diseases (exp) -> health conditions. This is particularly true in the twenty-first century nowadays where a huge number of workforce lose their jobs (GR) -> large number of workers lose their jobs and citizens feature experiences and life status (exp) -> face challenges and changing life circumstances because of the impacts of artificial intelligence. The less work is allowed, the more people are unemployed, so this group of people need to commit crimes to live, nurture and care for their families (như trên) -> resort to committing crimes to survive and support their families/ engage in criminal activities to sustain and care for their families.

There is a more comprehensive approach that growth conditions are also a significant element which affect (GR) -> affects the life of people in the future. If some have bad parents who are violent or list less (????) -> neglectful/ indifferent, those children will mature by their own knowledge. They do not have instructors or any people show their mistakes in their behaviour (exp, GR) -> to correct their behavior and only mimic what they see or like from others. As a consequence, those people will grow up with concepts that deviate from society and it is the main reason for criminals (GR, exp) -> this is the main reason for criminal behavior.

Contrary to the aforementioned argument, supporters believe that crime is a result of genetics. Hardly people can deny (cô dạy khác mà, hardly anyone...) -> It is difficult to deny that bloodline can influence the personalities and characteristics of people. This impact can be easily seen in the appearances of people, should people have a relative relationship (áp template nhưng ko ra đc nghĩa) -> as relatives often share physical characteristics, they will have a little bit similar in faces or behaviour (GR, exp) -> resemblance in appearance or behavior. Furthermore, this bad behavior can also develop from the small level to the more serious ones (exp) -> from minor to more serious forms. When some people are children, they frequently have negative activities with others (exp) -> engage in negative activities, such as bullying or fighting. In some cases, those thoughts continue and even reach a higher serious level in adults’ minds which may promote crime (exp, GR) -> more serious level in adulthood, leading to criminal behavior. However, with some people who have better habitats of upbringing and studying (exp) -> upbringing and educational environments, they can prevent a part of this negative genetic trait.

In conclusion, it is evident that genetics can also promote many people to crime, however this root can be prevented by good habitat (WC) -> upbringing conditions and studying. From my perspective, upbringing conditions and poverty are two important reasons which lead to crime, thus parents should be careful on raising children (GR) -> in raising children to give them a bright future.

Suggested improved sentences:

1. Social problems: Social problems often drive individuals towards crime, illustrating the impactful role of poverty and disadvantage.

2. Violent upbringing: A violent upbringing can deeply influence a child's future behavior, steering them towards crime.

3. Genetic predisposition: Genetic predisposition might play a role in criminal tendencies, but environment is crucial in mitigating these effects.

4. Negative behaviors: Negative behaviors in childhood, if unchecked, can escalate into criminal activities in adulthood.

5. Supportive environment: A supportive environment during upbringing can counteract genetic inclinations towards criminal behavior.

┌─ ▌ꪑకꪶꪗỉꫀꪶᡶక ˙ᵕ˙ 𝒽𝓊𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓁𝓎.𝒶𝓂𝓈@𝑔𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝓂 ▌ └────────────────────

Dàn ý:

• CS giúp nâng cao ý thức cộng đồng -> rèn luyện những đức tính tốt ->trân trọng cuộc sống >>> ví dụ: từ thiện >>> thấy hoàn cảnh >>> nâng cao nhận thức xã hội >< nhưng mà với những đứa chưa đủ kiến thức và sức khoẻ thì ko nên >> gây rắc rối

• Năng động hơn, mở rộng mới quan hệ hơn >< ko phù hợp với những đứa introverted.

• Counter-argument 1 → Giải thích tại sao sai/không áp dụng với đa số/có thể dễ dàng xử lý

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 Given that unpaid community service is an element that affects the behavior of people and also develops society skills of individuals, it becomes necessary to ask whether or not high schools should mandate this activity as a subject. While there seems to be a strong case to believe this compulsory subject will bring consequences if students are unwilling, I believe that it is wise to do so as it has many advantages for both children and the community.  

Hardly anyone can deny that volunteer community service nowadays is appreciated and considered more transparent. This is particularly true that not only companies, but also many universities require certificates of community services for admission. It is clear that people may have more open-minded  after facing to diverse conditions, especially underprivileged, which they meet through their compulsory projects. Mental health and cognitive of students may develop in the positive ways after doing kind deeds. As a result,  some may recognize the value of life and respect themselves and also their family more. 

 Advocates believe that children may have opportunities to extend their relationships through community work. While doing philanthropic work, students not only meet underprivileged people, but also connect with people from other volunteer groups, even successful people, such as entrepreneurs or businesses. Through having conversations and interacting with those people, children can gain many experiences and knowledge. In fact, broads network of relationships are an significant factors, contributing to people's success, thus, this activity may provide many benefits for students in long-term.

In conclusion, unpaid community service should become a compulsory subject at schools because it helps students to expand their network relationships and enhance their awareness of the value of life. I firmly believe that this compulsory subjects may bring many benefits for students if they have enough health and can do suitable activities with their ability. 

Given the importance of sport in today’s rapidly evolving society, the question about the result of hosting major international sporting events is looming large. While it is a common assumption that becoming the host country of a match may bring many economic benefits, passionate supporters of the opposite sides argue that it may significantly contribute to environmental pollution. This essay will analyze these views before giving my opinion, which posits that the key lies not in a one-size-fits-all approach, but rather 💥the result made based on the organization and manage the matches of each country (exp) -> in the effective organization and management by each host country.

Advocates of hosting international 💥competition sports (exp) -> sporting competitions may bring benefits, often emphasizing that 💥leading (wc) -> hosting a tournament can attract tourists and 💥abroad friends (exp) -> international visitors which 💥create profit to develop (gr) -> generates revenue for developing the tourism industry and 💥gain (wf) -> attracting foreign investment. They argue that fans of each country frequently have a tendency to watch and cheer for 💥teams which present for their country (gr) -> their national teams to participate in competitions 💥live directly on the field (exp) -> live at the venue to show their national spirit and 💥pass on (hơi informal) -> boost the energy 💥to (gr) -> of the athletes. Therefore, more visitors may 💥incorporate travelling and supporting (exp) -> combine traveling with supporting their home team at the same time which may boost the 💥profit (wc) -> revenue of the national tourism industry. In addition, 💥because of coverage of the match worldwide (exp) -> due to the worldwide coverage of these matches, some investors may pay money to advertise their products around the stadiums 💥and also support their home team and also advertise (exp, redundant) -> while supporting their teams and promoting their brand internationally. We do not need to look further than the cases of countries that have played host to the world's biggest football 💥match (wc) -> tournament, 💥world cup (sp) -> World Cup like 💥Quatar (sp) -> Qatar or Russia for this. The results after hosting 💥matches of those countries (exp) -> these events proved that organizing international competitions brings many benefits 💥for the rising economy of the country (exp) -> to the host country's economy. Admittedly, 💥leading (wc) -> hosting big competitions brings many challenges, but their benefits are extremely important.

On the flip side, proponents of the 💥consequences of global competitions (exp) -> environmental impact of global competitions maintain that the more matches that take place, the more serious environmental pollution 💥becomes to (gr) -> becomes for the hosting countries. In essence, hosting a match can be considered a cause of more serious environmental pollution 💥in that country, not beneficial in all aspects (exp) -> which is not entirely beneficial. For example, the number of 💥flights will (gr) -> flights may increase significantly to serve athletes traveling to competition venues which may 💥create much carbon dioxide and contribute to damage (e check ngữ pháp trc khi nộp đc mà) -> generate significant carbon dioxide, contributing to environmental damage. 💥It is evidence that Qatar, the hosting of World Cup competition in 2022, their number of flights doubled compared to the previous year to serve the recruitment and preparation stages for the match (gr, exp) -> For instance, Qatar, which hosted the 2022 World Cup, saw its number of flights double compared to the previous year due to recruitment and preparation for the event. As a consequence, the 💥level of the emissions and pollution in this country (exp) -> emissions and pollution levels increased significantly. Problems can occur if the host country does not control and 💥propose reasonable plans (exp) -> implement effective plans to minimize the factors causing environmental pollution 💥for the country.

In conclusion, the decision 💥for hosting of(nếu cụm dài rồi thì thôi ko nối thêm danh từ nưuax) -> to host the global competition or not depends on the capabilities of each country. If the organization can 💥restrict and limit the least consequences(exp) -> minimize the environmental impact 💥to the environment(redundant), it will bring 💥much more benefits to the economy(exp) -> significant economic benefits and quality of life of the hosting country. As long as the host country's management 💥level(wc) -> capabilities is good, the profits earned are 💥huge and beneficial(wc) -> substantial and advantageous. The primary aim is to develop tourism, promote and improve the country in many aspects through hosting 💥the(redundant) international 💥matches(wc) -> events.

 I believe that there are some legitimate reasons why sport is not a taste of someone. With some people who do not have any talents in these fields, they may not feel confident and shy when they lose. You know, in other cases, someone does not care about sport and maybe some do not want to join the competitive atmosphere. They are scared of accidents in competitions and maybe they think those unnecessary injuries can affect athletes' lives after that. However,...... ( đoạn này con chưa nghĩ ra được nên phản đề như nào ạ ).

Câu 29: Why do you think this equipment breaks so easily?

 Last year, my brother gave me a new mirror for my birthday. I was really excited about it because my old one had just broken. To be honest, at first glance, I thought this item was extremely elegant but it was also easy to break. The surface of this mirror was very thin and it was made of silver so it was quite slippery and I almost dropped it several times during that birthday party. Not beyond my prediction, two weeks later, I went outside and put it in my bag, I accidentally threw my bag on the ground to run with my friends and unlucky the mirror was broken into pieces in my bag. However, this is the most beautiful mirror I have ever used and II am very grateful to my brother for giving me such a useful thing

Câu 32:  Why do some people dress casually in everyday life but dress formally at work?

I believe there are some good reasons for wearing formal clothing at work because this activity shows respect and seriousness. In the culture of my country, people believe that wearing too short or too casual clothes in the office shows that those people look down on their co-workers. Residents can wear daily clothes everyday because those make people feel active and comfortable. The styles of each person may show their personality, so people extremely appreciate appearance when they meet their partners. Wearing formal clothes can help people create a feeling of safety and trust between them and the other person. However, with some special company like entertainment companies or fashion organisations, people can choose to dress both casually or formally, as long as it suits the situation.

___

Câu 24: Why do some people not like sport?

I believe there are some good reasons why some people aren't into sports. For those who aren't naturally talented in these areas, they might feel unconfident and shy when they lose. You know, some folks just don't care about sports and don't want to get into the competitive atmosphere. They're scared of getting hurt in competitions, thinking those unnecessary injuries can mess up athletes' lives afterward. On the other hand, others might not like sports because they find them boring or too time-consuming. Overall, everyone has their own reasons, but it's all about personal preference.

Câu 29: Why do you think this equipment breaks so easily?

Last year, my brother gave me a new mirror for my birthday. I was really excited about it because my old one had just broken. To be honest, at first glance, I thought it looked really elegant but also really easy to break. The surface was super thin and made of silver, so it was quite slippery. I almost dropped it a bunch of times during the party. Just as I expected, two weeks later, I went outside and put it in my bag. I accidentally threw my bag on the ground to run with my friends and, unfortunately, the mirror shattered into pieces. Despite that, it's the most beautiful mirror I've ever had, and I'm very grateful to my brother for giving me such a lovely gift.

Câu 32: Why do some people dress casually in everyday life but dress formally at work?

I think there are a few good reasons why people wear formal clothes at work. It shows respect and seriousness. In my country, people believe that wearing really casual or short clothes in the office means you're not respecting your co-workers. But on a day-to-day basis, people dress casually because it's more comfortable and makes them feel more active. Everyone's style shows off their personality, so folks really care about how they look when meeting new people. Dressing formally can help create a feeling of safety and trust. However, in certain places like entertainment companies or fashion organizations, people can choose to dress either casually or formally, depending on the situation.

To be honest, I am not a big fan of science but I am really impressed and enthusiastic with some documentary movies about space which were produced and broadcasted in Explore channel. Although these programs stopped when  I was 10 years old, I have still watched them again and again  in my leisure times. The story that I remember and like the most after watching is the episode which talked about the origin of planets and stars. I knew the difference between 8 planets and the meaning of each star. This program also told me a story about the notion of some countries, they believe that if people see comets and they pray immediately, their wishes will come true. At this time, I really believed that and I found a lot of information about the timeline of comets.  However, I had just known it was just a normal natural phenomenon 5 years later.

2. Describe a food of another country you would like to try 

I am a big fan of Korean movies and I have planned to visit this country in the future. Through many dramas I have watched, barbecue has appeared in most of them. So, to be honest, I feel a little bit curious about its taste. In addition, from my acknowledgment, I know this food is also one of the unique cuisines in Korea. In my city, I have tried a variety of barbecue but I have just eaten it following my feelings and preference. As far as I remember, Koreans have their own rules and skills to eat this traditional food. For example, they not only eat meat with lettuce and sesame vegetables, but they also eat it with salted and boiled vegetables. Their local usually frill meat, especially pork with wine to relieve stress or celebrate an occasion. I just know those details through the internet, movies and entertainment programs of Korea, so I hope that in the near future I can travel to this country to try and make sure my acknowledgement is right. 

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1. Describe a story about space that you have read about or seen in a film or in TV

To be honest, I don't really like science, but I am really blown away by some documentaries about space that were shown on the Explore channel. Although these programs stopped airing when I was 10, I still watch them over and over in my free time. The story that sticks with me the most is the episode about the origin of planets and stars. I learned the difference between the 8 planets and the meaning of each star. This program also told me about the beliefs of some countries that if people see comets and make a wish, it will come true. Back then, I really believed it and looked up a lot of information about when comets would appear. However, I found out it was just a natural phenomenon 5 years later.

2. Describe a food of another country you would like to try

I'm a huge fan of Korean movies and plan to visit Korea in the future. From all the dramas I've watched, barbecue is in most of them. So, to be honest, I'm really curious about how it tastes. Also, from what I know, this food is one of Korea's unique cuisines. In my city, I've tried different barbecues, but I just ate them the way I like. As far as I know, Koreans have their own rules and skills for eating this traditional food. For example, they not only eat meat with lettuce and sesame leaves but also with salted and boiled vegetables. They usually grill meat, especially pork, with wine to relieve stress or celebrate an occasion. I know these details from the internet, movies, and Korean entertainment shows, so I hope I can travel to Korea soon to try it and see if what I know is right.

My babysitter is really into street markets; she loves buying useful, cheap, and even second-hand items. She leads a simple, frugal lifestyle and has a knack for spotting great deals. The items she picks up are always beautiful and practical, often matching the quality and value of more expensive alternatives. That’s her unique talent.

However, there are times when she buys too much, and it feels wasteful. Although these items look impressive and are reasonably priced, they often duplicate what we already have. Consequently, our house is becoming cluttered with similar items.

I genuinely enjoy going to street markets with her. She’s taught me how to bargain and pick out quality products just by looking at them. I’m really grateful for her ability to buy and use such economical and useful things for our family.

All in all, I trust her judgment and skills, though I hope she can cut back on buying duplicates after my suggestion.

•  In the past, I was the kind of person who did anything to follow my inspiration. I would  feel a little difficult if I needed to make or do certain plans completely. Although I tried a lot of time before to follow my timetable, it was broken for 2 days. However, currently, the management time which is an online app in my phone helps me a lot. I frequently highlight my jobs for the next few days in this note and it will ask me when I need to finish it.

2. What does perfume mean to you? 

• Some people say that perfume is not essential, but I think this item is extremely important with individuals. From my perspective, people will evaluate the value of each person through their own smell. Most people have a tendency to be attracted by pleasant smells, therefore with me, before going out, I need to use perfumes to show politeness and respect to those around me. However, some people buy too expensive perfume and I think it is not necessary. 

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1. Do you usually make plans?

In the past, I was the type of person who did things on a whim (LÀM THEO HỨNG). I'd find it tricky to stick to any plans I made. Even though I tried many times to follow my schedule, it would fall apart within a couple of days. Nowadays, I've got this time management app on my phone that helps a lot. I often mark down my tasks for the next few days in this app, and it reminds me when I need to get them done.

2.What does perfume mean to you?

Some say perfume isn't necessary, but I believe it's really important for individuals. From my point of view, people judge others based on their scent. Most folks are naturally drawn to pleasant smells, so for me, wearing perfume before going out shows politeness and respect to those around me. However, I do think some people spend too much on expensive perfumes, which I find unnecessary

• Job opportunities

• Educational pursuits

Effects:

• Less contact, less interact -> misunderstand -> have conflict and argument ->   weaken family bonds 

-> individuals : lose a strong source of motivation -> easily feel stress -> impact on both personal and professional life

-> Parents : upset, miss their kids and their children can not help them, although they are older -> feel self-pity, lonely

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 🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𓍯𓂃✨ 5̳6̳7̳8̳.𝟓𝟎✨ 🖍️ ╚══════nn════════════╝

In light of concern surrounding the decrease in family time among people living far away from their parents, 💥question (GR: singular/plural) -> questions about its 💥rooted causes, primarily jobs and education (EXP: unnatural) -> root causes, primarily job and educational opportunities, and its considerable impact on the mental health 💥of all family members (EXP: all thì đông quá) -> of family members have been rising to the forefront. This essay will analyze the causes of this issue while also 💥showing some of its effects (EXP: unnatural) -> discussing its effects.

The decision 💥of living far away family among immigrants (EXP: unnatural) -> of immigrants to live far from their families can be primarily attributed to educational pursuits and 💥some attractive work opportunities (EXP: awkward) -> attractive job opportunities. People will have more chances to 💥have satisfactory jobs (EXP: unnatural) -> obtain satisfying jobs, if they study in colleges of the strong industries of a certain country or some top universities in the world, like Oxford or Harvard. The key majors of the country may have better education in their central field, 💥gain high investments from the government and also need a huge workforce (EXP: awkward) -> receive significant government investment and require a large workforce, thus, 💥satisfactory salary and job opportunities are attracting more and more individuals studying and having life abroad (EXP: awkward, verbose) -> these opportunities attract many individuals to study and live abroad. In other cases, people pursue 💥to learn at extremely high quality universities around the world (EXP: awkward) -> education at prestigious universities worldwide to gain more 💥quality knowledge (WC: vague) -> advanced knowledge and improve their standard of life. The combination of these 💥factories (SP: factors) explains why 💥currently (thừa, ko cần thiết, more and more đủ ý rồi, redundant) more and more people are spending less time near their family members.

Hardly anyone can deny that this 💥activity (EXP: unnatural) -> trend can also bring many negative impacts on family bonds, if people cannot arrange their schedule reasonably to have time for their family. It is clear that busy 💥life (GR: word form) -> lifestyles and geographical distance may significantly reduce the time that people spend 💥near their family (EXP: awkward) -> with their families. Thus, less time for interacting and sharing between generations in nuclear families may 💥make some conflict arguments (EXP: unnatural) -> lead to conflicts and arguments, which weakens family bonds and leads to mental health problems. Immigrants 💥lose connection and understanding with their family members also mean that they lose the strongest motivation sources that may make those people feel more and more stress (EXP: unnatural) -> losing connection and understanding with family members also means losing important sources of motivation, leading to increased stress. For their parents, feeling self-pity and loneliness is inevitable 💥~,~ (Punctuation) when they live without the help and presence of their children. These analyses show that 💥moving far away from family lead to spend less quality time with family members is crucial for being addressed (EXP: unnatural) -> moving far away from family, leading to spending less quality time together, is a crucial issue that needs to be addressed.

In conclusion, 💥studying pursuit (EXP: unnatural) -> the pursuit of education/ educational pursuit and satisfactory job opportunities are two primary reasons 💥~, which promote more and more people choosing~ (EXP: awkward) -> that lead more people to choose to live far away from their family. This decision may not weaken family bonds 💥and have (GR: verb tense) -> or have negative impacts on mental health for individuals 💥~, as long as,~ (Punctuation) -> as long as immigrants arrange their schedules reasonably to spend about 2 to 3 hours each day 💥to make a video call with (GR: word order) -> making video calls to their parents or 💥use their weekends to go home (EXP: unnatural) -> visiting home on weekends.

 Regarding paper and cardboard and plastics, it is clear that more of those materials were recycled. In 1982, there were about 65% of paper and cardboard being reproduced, but since then, the proportion peaked at roughly 80% in 1990. In the next 20 years, the recycling rate of this group reduced slightly 10% and reached 70% in 2010. Although plastics were recycled 8 years later than the previous ones, they have had a similar trend since 1990. The proportion of reuse plastics have risen from 2% to 8% since it was recorded untill 2010 and the recycling rates of all those materials in the last year of this survey are more than the beginning 5-6%. 

  While 50% of glass containers were reproduced in 1982, only about 2% of aluminium cans were started recycling 40 years later. The recycling rates of aluminium cans climbed steadily to about 45% in 2010. On the contrary, the percentage of recyclable glass containers declined to 40% from 1982 to 1986. However, after this period, the reuse rates of this material had a growing trend and it reached a top at 60% in 2010. 

__________________________________________________________

The given line graph shows the information about the recycling status of four different materials between 1982 and 2010 in a particular country. Overall, it is observed that the data shows an upward trend throughout these years.

Regarding 💥paper and cardboard and plastics paper, cardboard, and plastics (parallelism: giữ các từ cùng loại), it is clear that more of those materials were recycled. In 1982, 💥there were about 65% of paper and cardboard being reproduced about 65% of paper and cardboard were recycled (concise), but since then, the proportion peaked at roughly 80% in 1990. In the next 20 years, the recycling rate of this group 💥reduced slightly 10% reduced slightly by 10% (wf: dùng "by" để chỉ mức giảm dc) and reached 70% in 2010. Although plastics were recycled 8 years later than the previous ones, they have had a similar trend since 1990. The proportion of 💥reuse plastics have risen from 2% to 8% since it was recorded untill 2010 and the recycling rates of all those materials in the last year of this survey are more than the beginning 5-6%. recycled plastics has risen from 2% to 8% from 1990 until 2010, and the recycling rates of all these materials at the end of the survey were higher than at the beginning by 5-6%. (vc: câu dài và lủng củng, cần chia lại để rõ nghĩa hơn)

💥While 50% of glass containers were reproduced in 1982, only about 2% of aluminium cans were started recycling 40 years later. While 50% of glass containers were recycled in 1982, only about 2% of aluminium cans were recycled 40 years later. (concise & consistent tense) The recycling rates of aluminium cans climbed steadily to about 45% in 2010. On the contrary, the percentage of recyclable glass containers declined to 40% from 1982 to 1986. However, after this period, the 💥reuse recycling (wc: consistent use of terminology) rates of this material 💥had a growing trend showed an upward trend (natural expression) and 💥it reached a top at 60% in 2010 peaked at 60% in 2010 (natural expression).

This report looks at how a change in diet may affect levels of obesity. The graph compares (compare) the percentage of adults who were (be) obese in 1977 and 2002. It divides (divide) the population into seven different age groups, from the youngest (18-24) to the oldest (75+).

It is (be) clear that by 2002 obesity levels for the entire population were (be) higher than in 1977. The biggest differences are in the 25-34 and the 75+ age groups. In both of these age groups, obesity rates more than doubled (double) over the period. The smallest increase is in the 65-74 age group. In 1977 the figure was (be) 20%. Over the next 15 years it rose (rise) to 25%.

The shapes of the graphs for the two years are different. In the 1977 graph, obesity rates rrise (rise) until the age of 55, remain (remain) the same for the next ten years, and then fall for the last age group. The 2002 figures don't follow (not/follow) any clear pattern.

The graph shows (show) clearly that obesity levels increased (increase) by a large amount between 1977 and 2002. Although there may be other reasons for the increase, this suggests (suggest) that the US Government made (make) a mistake in changing its recommendations for a healthy diet in 1977.

Fluctuate
Stock prices fluctuated throughout the session.

Unstable
The system is unstable and it might crash any minute.

Irregular
Growth patterns are irregular in Europe.

Erratic
His behaviour is erratic. He's happy one day and sad the next.

Vary
Figures vary all the time. It's impossible to draw a working model.

Describe stability

Stable
Prices will be stable for the whole season.

Remain unchanged
Nothing remains unchanged for very long.

Steadily
If we are lucky, sales will move steadily for the next couple of months.

Constant
If the number of unemployed people remains constant we will face trouble.

The same
Things are the same as one year ago. Does nothing ever change here?

Describe increase

Increase
Salaries should increase according to productivity.

Improve
Sales have improved and reached almost a million.

Raise
The government need to raise taxes to lower the deficit.

Rise
If inflation rises we will need to raise our prices.

Go up
The rates will not go up until the Central Bank decides they should.

Describe gradual increase

Accumulate
We have accumulated around ten percent.

Escalate
Costs have escalated by a very small factor.

Accrue
Interest has accrued in my savings account.

Grow
The economy will grow this year.

Develop
Sales have developed more slowly than we had expected.

Describe sudden increase

Boost
The advertising campaign boosted donations by twenty percent.

Shoot up
The cost of raw materials has shot up because of the increased demand.

Spring up
Absenteeism always springs up when there's an epidemic of flu.

Surge
Interest rates surged to twenty-five percent because of inflation fears.

Multiply
We need to multiply output by two within the next semester.

Describe fall

Fall
The accident rate fell substantially the last decade.

Decline
No one can stop the decline of newspaper advertising.

Descend
When will the cost of steel descend?

Climb down
Profits will continue to climb down if we don't control expenses.

Decrease
The decrease in productivity is due to mismanagement.

Describe gradual fall

Diminish
If we diminish the amount of this component we might get a better mixture.

Weaken
Demand will surely weaken once everyone's heard the news.

Shrink
Advertising income will continue to shrink in the near future.

Wane
Robert's influence in the company will wane once people get to know him.

Slip
Why did revenue slip in the third quarter?

Describe sudden fall

Dive
If the price of copper dives further we'll be out of business.

Plunge
Look at the curve. Deliveries plunged in May but recovered in December.

Plummet
Our reputation will plummet if the press find out that we made a mistake.

Sink
Can fees sink any deeper? I don't think so.

Collapse
The market has collapsed and it won't improve for a while.

Topic: Changing Food Traditions

Cause:

• Main idea 1: Đô thị hóa và toàn cầu hóa - Urbanization and Globalization

  • Supporting idea: More people live in cities and are exposed to global cuisines. Cities like New York and Tokyo offer diverse food options from around the world.

• Main idea 2: Phong cách sống bận rộn - Busy Lifestyles

  • Supporting idea: Fast food and convenience meals are popular due to busy schedules. Many working professionals prefer quick meal options.

Side A: Positive Development

• Main idea 1: Đa dạng ẩm thực - Culinary Diversity

  • Supporting idea: Exposure to different cuisines broadens palates and cultural understanding. International food festivals promote cultural exchange.

• Main idea 2: Công nghệ thực phẩm tiến bộ - Food Technology Advances

  • Supporting idea: Innovations in food production improve safety and nutrition. Countries like the Netherlands lead in food tech research.

Side B: Negative Development

• Main idea 1: Mất bản sắc văn hóa - Loss of Cultural Identity

  • Supporting idea: Traditional cuisines may disappear, impacting cultural heritage. Small communities in Italy and Japan strive to preserve their culinary traditions.

• Main idea 2: Chất lượng thực phẩm kém - Lower Food Quality

  • Supporting idea: Increased consumption of processed foods leads to health issues. Rising obesity rates in the USA and UK are linked to fast food diets.

Conclusion: While changing food traditions offer diversity and convenience, it's crucial to balance this with the preservation of cultural heritage and a focus on healthy eating

________________________________________________

 In light of the concerns surrounding the change in food traditions and eating habits, questions about its root causes, primarily globalization and busy lifestyles, have been looming large. Although at first I was convinced with some negative statements, I firmly believe that this development may bring many crucial benefits to people’s lives.

 Hardly anyone can deny that the development of globalization has significantly changed the cultural awareness and cuisines of the world. The governments in many countries encourage this change to strengthen international relations, thus, many foreign activities have been organized, such as student exchange projects of the EU or the foreign market fairs/exhibitions. As a result, the increasing number of immigrants has led to more and more new produce and recipes being introduced or imported, especially in crowded cities. In addition, with the change in life intensity, busy lifestyles are also a crucial reason why convenience is frequently prioritized and appreciated over other elements, so fast foods and quick meals are extremely popular in this era to respond to people's current needs. 

 Changes in food-related traditions and eating habits promise to bring many advantages to both citizens’ personal and professional life. More chances to experience and enjoy life may be created through culinary diversity. Exposure to unfamiliar cuisines broadens palates and cultural understanding. This also leads to larger networks of relationships for individuals and opens a door for boosting cultural exchange and strengthening solidarity between nations. Moreover, food technology advances are also a significant result of this change. Nutritionists have combined information/properties of diverse ingredients to improve safety and create more nutritious dishes, ultimately contributing to better health and longevity for society. 

 In conclusion, globalization and busy lifestyles are two primary reasons contributing to change in food traditions and eating habits. While this improvement offers diversity and convenience, it is crucial to balance this with the preservation of cultural heritages and a focus on healthy eating.

 Regarding adolescents ( 14-24 years old ) and youth ( 25-34 years old ), it is clearly that fewer people, following these groups, decided to visit the cinema at least one time a month. About 91% juveniles went to this entertainment place in 1978, but since then, this proportion continuously reduced to just beneath 89% between 1983 and 1988. Likewise, at the same period, the decision of visiting the cinema from youth declined significantly from 80% to 60%. 15 years after that, both of these age group had a recovery trend, however, at the end of the survey, they were recorded less than the beginning by 2-3%. 

While about 41% of elderly ( age 50+ ) went to the cinema every months, double that proportion in the group of middle-aged people ( 35-49 years old ) were recorded. Both of these groups have downward trend in next 10 years, however, until 1988, the percentage of those increased dramatically. While the proportion of elderly peaked at 50% in 2008, the percentage of middle-aged people achieved just below 70% in the last year ( less than its top 1-2% ).

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𓍯𓂃✨ THAM THÔNG TIN QUÁ EM, BE MORE SELECTIVE✨ ════════════════════nn══════

The given line graph shows the information about the proportion of customers in different age brackets going to the cinema at least once per month in one particular country over 30 years. Overall, it is observed that the data shows an upward trend 💥of the group of people who are middle-age or older than that among middle-aged and older groups and a downward trend 💥of among (gr: đúng ngữ pháp hơn) the younger age group.

Regarding adolescents 14-24 years old and youth 25-34 years old ,💥it is clearly that it is clear that (gr: không cần "ly" ở đây) fewer people 💥~, following these groups,~ in these groups decided to visit the cinema at least 💥one time once a month. 💥About 91% juveniles About 91% of juveniles went to this entertainment place in 1978, but since then, this proportion continuously 💥reduced decreased to just beneath 89% between 1983 and 1988. Likewise, 💥at the same period, the decision of visiting the cinema from youth declined significantly from 80% to 60%. 15 years after that, both of these age group had a recovery trend, however, at the end of the survey, they were recorded less than the beginning by 2-3%. during the same period, the proportion of youth visiting the cinema declined significantly from 80% to 60%. Fifteen years later, both age groups showed a recovery trend. However, by the end of the survey, their proportions were still 2-3% lower than at the beginning

While about 41% of elderly ( age 50+ ) went to the cinema 💥every months every month ), double that proportion 💥in the group of middle-aged people ( 35-49 years old ) were recorded was recorded for middle-aged people (35-49 years old). Both of these groups 💥have downward trend in next 10 years showed a downward trend over the next 10 years , however, 💥until 1988 by 1988 , the percentage of 💥those these groups increased dramatically. 💥While the proportion of elderly peaked at 50% in 2008, the percentage of middle-aged people achieved just below 70% in the last year ( less than its top 1-2% ). The proportion of elderly peaked at 50% in 2008, while the percentage of middle-aged people reached just below 70% by the end of the period, slightly lower than its peak by 1-2% (vc: diễn đạt rõ hơn, tránh lặp từ).

 Security camera was the most popular item with women and there was 90% of the female purchased it. In the second place was programmable thermostat and wireless home security,  both of them gained expenses from 60% female. Less popular than these previous gadgets, programmable vacuum only reached roughly 40% of the women buyers. In all four categories, the rate of the male who purchased was only one-half to one-third the female shoppers

On the contrary, the highest proportion of men ( a little over 80% ) spent money on wireless home audio system, while only half of this rate invested in outdoor speaker system, recorded at roughly 40%. Both energy management system and home movie theater were purchased by just under 60% of the male costumers. One interesting is that the buying gap between the two genders in this group was more narrow than first group and the rate of women costumers was less than men only about two-third.

◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤◢◤

🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𓍯𓂃✨ ✨ ════════════════════nn══════

The provided bar chart gives useful insights into the differences in buying 8 types of gadgets between male and female in the UK in 2013. Overall, it is observed that 💥the data shows that (verbose: đã nói "observed" rồi không cần lặp lại) while women purchased more security cameras than others, wireless home audio systems were the most 💥favorable item of men favored item among men.

💥Security camera was the most popular item with women and there was 90% of the female purchased it. (gr: câu văn rời rạc, logic không chặt chẽ) Security cameras were the most popular item among women, with 90% purchasing them. In 💥the second place were programmable thermostats and wireless home security systems, 💥both of them gained expenses from 60% female. (vc: diễn đạt rối, có thể ngắn gọn hơn) both purchased by 60% of women. Less popular than these previous gadgets, programmable vacuums 💥only reached were bought by roughly 40% of 💥the women 💥buyers (repetition). 💥In all four categories, the rate of the male who purchased was only one-half to one-third the female shoppers. (vc: dài , thiếu từ nối hợp lý) In all four categories, the purchase rate among men was only one-half to one-third of that among women.

On the contrary, the highest proportion of men (a little over 80%) spent money on wireless home audio systems, while only half of 💥this rate this percentage invested in outdoor speaker systems, recorded at roughly 40%. Both energy management systems and home movie theaters were purchased by just under 60% of 💥the male costumers male customers. 💥One interesting is that the buying gap between the two genders in this group was more narrow than first group and the rate of women costumers was less than men only about two-third. (gr: câu phức quá, diễn đạt rối) Interestingly, the purchasing gap between the two genders in this group was narrower than in the first group, with the rate of female customers being only about two-thirds that of men.

Gợi ý của cô:

▪︎ Consistency and Logic: Em cần duy trì mạch lạc trong lập luận. Ở đoạn thứ hai, em có thể liên kết rõ ràng hơn với đoạn đầu. Ví dụ: "Similarly, the purchasing trends among men also varied significantly across different gadgets."

▪︎ Repetition and Collocation: Em tránh lặp từ "purchased" và "rate" quá nhiều lần. Thay vì vậy, em có thể dùng "acquired" hoặc "percentage" để văn phong phong phú hơn.

▌ꪑకꪶꪗỉꫀꪶᡶక ˙ᵕ˙ 𝒽𝓊𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓁𝓎.𝒶𝓂𝓈@𝑔𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝓂 ▌ └────────────────────

 Regarding undergraduates, mostly had good experience with the variety of books and non-printed materials in their library. 37% of students marked the highest point for the diversity of books, followed by the satisfaction level with 35% and a little less votes, which was recorded from dissatisfied pupils, was 28%. Likewise, with non-printed materials, more than half undergraduates ( 68%)  chose “ very good” level. The percentage of pupils who marked medium level for these materials had less votes than the higher level about 48%, leaving 12% for the worst rating.

 In stark contrast, most people who graduated had bad experience with these categories in the library. The proportion of postgraduates, voting for the lowest point for the range of books and non-printed materials, was about twice to five times as high as the ranking of undergraduate students. Following that about 28% and 22% postgraduate people marked for the diversity of books and non-printed materials in satisfaction level, respectively. Less than that was the rankings of the highest point was gained only 22% for the range of books and 12% for these materials. 

Main idea 1: the gap between rich and poor

• Poor people ko có xe -> ko có chances mua ở out-of-town stores

  • Supporting idea:  Suburban shops thường cheaper and more diverse products vì adv từ locations của nó.

  • Although mang lợi cho cả bán và mua nhưng mà phù hợp với những ng có xe thôi => ko công bằng với người nghèo khi luôn phải mua những thứ đắt hơn và kém đa dạng hơn ở trong thành phố 

=> Người có điều kiện: được mua đồ rẻ >< người nghèo mua đồ đắt -> tạo wider gap between poor and rich

Main idea 2: Air pollution

• Car fumes / emissions / exhausts -> contribute to air pollution

  • Supporting idea: số cars tăng = chất lượng kk giảm. 

  • Nhiều nước have been trying their best to reduce số cars = employing electric vehicles + develop public transport systems

=>  Suburban stores có major role in kk mọi người mua xe has counteracted   the efforts from the government to bảo vệ mtr sống. 

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In light of concerns surrounding the circumstance of the development of using cars for accessing to suburban stores, questions about whether this change brings more negative effects than merits to our lives, loom large. Although at first I was convinced with some benefits to be gained from this change, I firmly believe that this condition not only widens the gap between rich and poor wealth and poor people, but also damages the environment

Hardly anyone can deny that it is unfair for poor people when lacking cars also means losing more chances to purchase in the out-of-town stores. Most suburban shops have had cheaper and more diverse products, because of the advantages from their locations. Although moving shops to remote areas brings many benefits for both consumers and sellers, it seems only suitable for customers, having ability for buying a car. Underprivileged residents may be robbed of the opportunities to consume a variety of products at low prices. As a consequence, the gap between rich and poor people in these areas gradually become wider.

Car fumes are one of the most significant elements contributing to air pollution. The more cars are used, the worse condition of the environment is recorded. Nowadays, many countries have been trying their best to develop their public transport systems and using electric vehicles to reduce the number of private cars and their emissions, contributing to destroy our ecosystem. Therefore, the development of out-of-town stores, having a major role in encouraging people to own cars, has counteracted the efforts from the government to protect our habitat.

 In conclusion, the increase in using cars to connect with remote shops brings more serious disadvantages, although some its benefits are essential. This change can worsen the gap between people of different income groups  and also brings an extremely negative impact on the environment. This issue should be addressed with comprehensive solutions, requiring efforts from both residents and the government, and we can hope for a better future, when the distinction between rich and poor will fade and the better quality of the environment will be recorded.

  Regarding the first week, the price of tickets between Sydney and Melbourne on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday was half the price on the other days, recorded at about 35-40 dollars. While the airfares from Sydney to Melbourne peaked at 80 dollars on Mondays, the price of tickets from Melbourne was the most expensive on Friday, with the same cost. Airline tickets from both these areas on Sunday had the same cost, about 50 dollars. Meanwhile, the airfares to Melbourne on Saturday was more expensive than the other direction by 10 dollars.

 Likewise, on week two, passengers paid more for airfares from Sydney by 10-30 dollars. The price of tickets from Sydney from Friday to Sunday, which reached 75, 60 and 50 dollars, respectively, were higher than the value of airline tickets 10 dollars. One interesting thing is that airfare prices for both directions on week 1 was much cheaper than week 2. 

In light of concerns surrounding the loneliness and the physical decline💥 loneliness and physical decline among old people, questions about its root causes, primarily social isolation and the limited mobility💥 limited mobility, have been looming large. This essay will analyze these issues, while also giving some solutions to address this negative condition.

The development of social isolation and limited mobility can be primarily attributed to the lack of happiness and getting weaker in senior💥 declining health in seniors. Not only youth but also many middle-aged people migrate and live far from their parents. Because of the increasing of thoughtless and listless through busy lifestyles💥 thoughtlessness and listlessness caused by busy lifestyles, more and more elderly live without care and sharing. Some argue that instead of children, old people can find happiness from their friends. However, this statement is only suitable in some cases. Most elderly nowadays have health problems. Regardless of whether the illness is mild or severe, these still limit the time seniors can go outside to make friends or hang out. Seniors may suffer more serious diseases, both physical and mental, because of bad emotions. The combination of these factors explains why many elderly suffering💥 suffer from loneliness and lack of fitness, and it could probably get even worse if these continue unaddressed.

At the heart of the combat against this miserable condition of the elderly is the need to adopt community programs and the improving of💥 improve transport services. Some local organizations should be created to organize events and clubs for old people. In this place, seniors may have more chances to communicate, share their stories, or gain motivation to care about their health from others' experiences. In addition, the government should invest more in public transport to help old people. For example, some special lanes for only elderly or assistive devices for disabled people. To achieve this end, both the government and all residents must join hands and carry out solutions.

In conclusion, social isolation and limited mobility have undeniably contributed to the negative condition of the elderly. Resolving this problem may require a multi-faceted approach that involves the support of the government in transport services and the events or clubs created by all citizens. I believe that only through collective efforts and a sustained focus on methods to create a friendly environment for seniors, can we hope for a better future.

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🟦 Ideas Development and Cultural Sensitivity: Đừng chỉ trích quá mức về lối sống bận rộn của người trẻ, có thể làm họ cảm thấy bị đổ lỗi. Thay vào đó, em có thể nhấn mạnh sự cần thiết của việc cân bằng công việc và chăm sóc gia đình. Ví dụ, "While busy lifestyles are understandable, it is crucial to maintain a balance that includes caring for elderly family members."

🟦 Em có thể sử dụng ẩn dụ để làm bài văn sinh động hơn. Ví dụ: Loneliness is a silent killer, eroding the spirit like a relentless tide.

 The initial step is when tea seeds, which are  in India and China, are sown by farmers, and then, these plants are harvested after completely maturing under sunshine. Next, the temperature of the sun is then taken advantage of to dry tea leaves. After that these leaves are packed into boxes and put onto a lorry to transport to the supermarkets. From here, consumers can purchase some boxes of tea from stores and the supermarkets.

 In order to make a perfect cup of tea, boiled water is poured into a cup with a tea bag inside. At this point, this compound should be left for two minutes and sugar or milk can be then added to enhance the flavor. Enjoying a delicious cup of tea is the final step of this process.

 The initial step is when 24 bamboo sticks which are 25 cm are prepared, and then, a square is created from connecting the end of 4 sticks. Repeating this activity until having 4 identical squares and linking them together to introduce a round. At this point, the basic frame is then created after sticking some bamboo sticks between each square. 

 In order to design the appearance of a lantern, a tissue paper is cut into 4 triangles and 8 squares. After that, these papers are pasted into appropriate holes in a frame. In the seventh step, 2 actions need to be done to complete  decorations of the lantern. First, medium rectangles of paper are folded in half and on the one side of each paper, some small rectangles are then cut consecutively. From here, frills are created and stuck on the bottom of the lantern's edges. Hanging a lantern and enjoying it is the final step of this process. 

Okay, here’s the thing – I usually steer clear of public transport. But last week, in a stroke of what can only be described as dubious genius, I decided to take a Hanoi bus to a friend's birthday party at this special bakery. At first, we thought, “Let’s go by taxi,” but, well, our wallets had other plans. So, there I was, an introverted soul, thrown into the wild chaos of a bus. Picture this: it’s packed to the brim, kids are screaming, and people are jostling like they’re in a real-life simulation of Big Data chaos. I was at a loss for words. I leaned on my friend, popped on my headphones, and tried to pretend I was anywhere but there.

Then, out of the blue, this lovely woman next to me decided to be a beacon of kindness in this Metaverse of madness. She handed me a sweet and politely told the noisy kids to pipe down. She even had a word with the bus driver and those kids' parents. I mean, she was a real-life example of Tech Ethics, showing that even in the hustle and bustle, there’s room for some good old-fashioned humanity. It was one of those moments where you realize that, despite everything, there are still decent people out there.

The provided charts give useful insight into the proportion of users in 5 💥 wc: số liệu này thường được viết bằng chữ -> five different social media platforms, which are recorded in Australia in three years 💥 wc -> over three years. Overall, it is observed that during this period, the population of all these channels had steady changes and upward trends, except for Facebook.

Regarding Facebook, which always stood at top 💥 wc -> the top of the favorable social media channels list. The percentage of Facebook users peaked at 59% in 2011 and in the two following years, this proportion continuously decreased about 10% 💥 wc -> by about 10% in each years 💥 gr: số ít -> year.

On stark contrary 💥 wc: cụm từ không chính xác -> In stark contrast, both user rates of Twitter and Linkedin 💥 wc -> the user rates for Twitter and LinkedIn had the same trend during this period. In 2011, while 10% users were recorded in Linkedin 💥 wc -> of users were recorded for LinkedIn, the proportion of people using Twitter was as twice as this of Linkedin 💥 wc -> twice as high as that for LinkedIn. The popular 💥 wc -> popularity of Twitter and Linkedin 💥 gr -> LinkedIn were recorded at 12% and 💥 wc -> while 23% users 💥 wc -> of users in 2012, respectively, and both of the proportion of users in these platforms 💥 wc -> the proportion of users on these platforms increased steadily with 3% in the following year 💥 wc -> by 3% in the following year. Similary 💥 wc -> Similarly, although at first the user rates of Google and Pinterest were the same ( 5%) 💥 wc -> for Google and Pinterest were initially the same at 5%, Google had more significant rising trend 💥 wc -> a more significant upward trend, increasing twice times 💥 wc -> twice as much and left only 6% users for Pinterest in 2012 💥 wc -> of users for Pinterest in 2012. This gap still remained in 2013, when both the proportion of users in these social media channels 💥 wc -> the proportions of users on these social media channels were higher than the previous year with 4% 💥 wc: thiếu mạo từ -> by 4%.

2 lời của mua sắm tiêu dùng

+ Thúc đẩy innovation, quality

=> Cạnh tranh nhiều hơn ( more competition)=> higher consumers' demand

+ Tạo việc làm

=> more products=> manufacture=> higher demand => more factories, companies=> more opportunities to find jobs

2 hại của mua sắm tiêu dùng

+ chạy theo xu hướng => tiền

+ không dùng đến => vứt đi => phí => pollution

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The first-century has been called the era of “consumption” and many individuals believe consumer culture helps to create more innovations and increases the quality of products. However, people can waste much money and have some debates because of buying too much or following the trends. This essay explores both perspectives on the issue, ultimately arguing for a balanced viewpoint that recognizes the benefit of buying, while acknowledging its potential drawbacks.

Hardly anyone can deny that “consumer culture” creates more chances to have more innovations and higher quality products. Increasing in demand also means that the supplyment needs developing following it to respond. More consumers appear, more companies are opened to meet the needs, thus, trading market may become more and more competitive, leading to introduce more unique and higher quality products. Additionally, more people may have jobs because of higher quantity of organizations. As a result, this habit not only improving the diversity and the quality of products, but also having a role in addressing unemployed.

However, the flip side of this abundance is the budget and some debates are created because of “ consumer societies”. Some Individuals frequently spend a great amount of money to show off. The trend may not be end and can lead to tons of rubbish, impacting the environment and wasting money. Supporters believe that unless actions are taken, this condition may become worse and have greater impacts on lives.

To sum up, “consumer culture” can provide more chances to address unemployed and also improve the diversity and quality of products. However, people can waste a huge amount of money and even contribute to pollution. I firmly believe that “consumer culture” may bring more significant merits to our lives than their disadvantages if people can control themselves when buying products.

2. Why do some individuals prefer outdoor activities

   • I believe there are some good reasons for enjoying outdoor activities because it is essential for reducing stress.

   • Ra ngoài chơi -> hít thở fresh air -> do entertainment activities ( hangout with friends + ngắm nhìn thành phố, ngắm nhìn những cái đẹp + chơi thể thao ) -> cơ thể hoạt động -> suy nghĩ relax hơn, quên stress đi và chill.

   • However, ở Việt Nam hiện nay ô nhiễm không khí ngày càng nghiêm trọng -> ra ngoài nhiều without masks -> hít thở phải nhiều emissions -> ảnh hưởng sức khoẻ

   • Sadly, tình trạng ô nhiễm kk đng ngày càng nghiêm trọng hơn trên toàn thế giới -> nhiều nước, government khuyên residents hạn chế ra ngoài vì mức bụi ảnh hương sức khoẻ

   
   

3. Why do people stay in hotels?

   • As far as I remember, ở nước ngoài để tích kiệm tiền thuê nhà nhiều người thuê hotels để ở. In some cases, để tránh những cuộc cãi vã to trong gia đình -> Move to live temporarily in a hotel

   • However, với người Việt Nam mục đích stay in hotels là để relax. Thậm chí với những người bận, họ thuê hotels trong thành phố họ sống để hưởng thụ services và không gian sống khác

   
   

4. Why do people want to do family business?

   • Tin tưởng hơn

   • more flexible

   • đặt nền móng cho tương lai của Children

   • earn more money

   • maybe easier to cooperate

   • However, việc này có nhiều thuận lợi như thế nhưng để thành công thì rất khó và trải qua gấp đôi stress so với những type of business khác

   • Sadly, nhiều người bh loại dụng loại hình công ty này để boc lột sức lao động người làm thuê để thu lời về cho cá nhân và gđ

     
     

5. Why are there fewer people going to the cinema to watch movies? 

   • 
     

6. Why do so many teenage males (and boys and even some young females) dream of being a professional athlete (or, a sports star)?

7. Why do people sometimes eat 'fast food'?

8. 11. Why are cities today facing serious traffic issues?

9. Why are some people willing to spend a lot of money on meals on special days?

10. Why do you think people collect certain objects?

    ----------------------------------------

1. Why do you think many people find it challenging to maintain a healthy lifestyle?

I believe a busy lifestyle is a big reason why people struggle to maintain a balanced life for long. Busy work schedules mean there's no time for meal prep or exercise. In Vietnam, pepole often overlook the importance of a healthy lifestyle, opting for fast food to satisfy themselves quickly and save time. Sadly, this negative thinking is becoming more widespread, especially among the younger generation, and I think this trend will only grow in the future.

2. Why do some individuals prefer outdoor activities?

There are plenty of reasons why people enjoy outdoor activities, mainly because they help reduce stress. Going outside to breathe fresh air and engage in fun activities like hanging out with friends, sightseeing, and playing sports keeps the body active and helps the mind relax, making stress easier to forget.

However, air pollution is becoming a severe issue in Vietnam. Going outside without masks means breathing in a lot of emissions, which affects health. Sadly, this pollution problem is getting worse worldwide. Many governments are advising residents to limit outdoor activities because of harmful dust levels.

3. Why do people stay in hotels?

As far as I remember, abroad, people often rent hotels to save on housing costs. Sometimes, they move to a hotel temporarily to avoid big family arguments. However, in Vietnam, people stay in hotels mainly to relax. Even busy people rent hotels in their own city to enjoy different services and living spaces.

4. Why do people want to do family business?

Trust is a big factor. Family businesses offer more flexibility and can lay the foundation for children's future. They can earn more money and might be easier to cooperate in. However, despite these advantages, succeeding in a family business is tough and comes with double the stress compared to other types of businesses. Sadly, some people exploit this type of company to overwork employees for personal and family gain.

The provided chart gives useful insights into the manufacturing levels of three types of main fuels in a European country between 1981 and 2000. Overall, it is observed that output- levels 💥 wc: dấu gạch ngang không cần thiết -> output levels of petroleum always dominated among fuels, while natural gas and coal had dramatical 💥 wc: sai từ -> dramatic changes in terms of ratings.

Regarding coal and natural gas, it is clear that the production rates of these fuels had significant changes. In 1981, the production levels of coal peaked at 80 tonnes and was 💥 gr: số nhiều -> were constant in the next few years. However, after 1986, the manufacturing levels of this fuel declined considerably and reached about 38% in 2000. Meanwhile, from 1981 to 1994, the output -levels 💥 wc: không cần dấu gạch ngang -> output levels of natural gas remained at about 30 tonnes and increased slightly in the final years of this period. Until 1995, the manufacturing volume of this fuel rocketed twice as before 💥 wc: diễn đạt không chính xác -> surged to double its previous volume, peaking at about 81% in 2000, and surpassed these 💥 gr: cái gì -> those of coal in the last 5 years.

In contrast, always dominating this list 💥 wc -> petroleum consistently dominated was the manufacturing levels of petroleum, recorded at just under 100 tonnes. The production rates of this fuel had the biggest fluctuation in 1990 when it decreased significantly and bottomed out at about 95 tonnes, and in 1995 when it reached top 💥 wc -> peaked at about 137 tonnes. The output -levels 💥 wc: không cần dấu gạch ngang -> output levels of this fuel had slight changes after 1995 and was recorded 💥 gr: số nhiều -> were recorded at 120 tonnes in the last year.

IMPROVED:

The provided chart offers valuable insights into the manufacturing levels of three primary fuels in a European country between 1981 and 2000. Overall, it is observed that output levels of petroleum consistently dominated among the fuels, while natural gas and coal experienced dramatic fluctuations.

Regarding coal and natural gas, it is clear that the production rates of these fuels underwent significant changes. In 1981, coal production peaked at 80 tonnes and remained stable for a few years. However, after 1986, the manufacturing levels of coal declined considerably, reaching about 38% by 2000. In contrast, the output levels of natural gas remained around 30 tonnes from 1981 to 1994 but surged to double its previous volume by 1995, peaking at approximately 81% in 2000 and surpassing coal levels in the final five years.

In contrast, petroleum consistently dominated this category, recorded at just under 100 tonnes. The production rates of this fuel experienced the most significant fluctuation in 1990, decreasing notably to about 95 tonnes, and in 1995, peaking at approximately 137 tonnes. The output levels of petroleum saw slight changes after 1995 and were recorded at 120 tonnes in the final year.

The given diagram illustrates a continuos 💥 sp: continuous process of perfume production, demonstrating the role of oil in manufacturing this product. All in all, the process comprised ten fundamental steps, from boiling water to having 💥 wc: nghĩa không rõ ràng -> producing aromatic water.

The initial step is when steam is created from boiling water, and then it goes through aromatic plants, these steps are bypassed 💥 wc: mơ hồ, có thể viết lại rõ ràng hơn -> which are bypassed in this description. Once this steam evaporate 💥 gr: động từ số ít -> evaporates from the aromatic plants, oil vapor is created and this component goes to condenser 💥 gr -> the condenser, which initiates the condensation process.

From here, the process resumes when the temperature of the component is cooled down in the condenser. Next, the mixture including water and essential oil continues to flow to separator 💥 gr -> the separator. Subsequently, in this machine, hydrolat (aromatic water) is created after the essential oil is separated from the mixture. Processing perfume through all the steps above may guarantee the quality of the outcome production 💥 wc: cụm từ không tự nhiên -> final product.

IMPROVED:

The given diagram illustrates a continuous process of perfume production, emphasizing the essential role of oil in the final product. Overall, the process comprises ten integral stages, from the initial boiling of water to the final creation of aromatic water.

The process begins with the generation of steam from boiling water. This steam then permeates through aromatic plants, which are vital to the process rather than being bypassed. As the steam interacts with these plants, it absorbs essential oils, transforming into oil vapor. This vapor is subsequently directed into the condenser, where it undergoes cooling and condensation.

Following condensation, the mixture of water and essential oil is transported to the separator. In this stage, the hydrolat (aromatic water) is produced as the essential oil is separated from the water. This comprehensive processing ensures that the final perfume product is of high quality and maintains its intended aromatic properties.

In light of concerns surrounding the development of using cars for accessing suburban stores, questions about whether this change brings more negative effects than merits 💥 wc: merits nghe hơi formal -> benefits to our lives , 💥 loom large. Although at first I was convinced 💥 gr -> I was initially convinced with some benefits 💥 wc: with sb -> of some benefits to be gained from this change, 💥 -> of this change I firmly believe that this condition not only widens the gap between rich and poor, but also damages the environment.

Hardly anyone can deny that it is unfair for poor people when 💥 wc -> since lacking cars also means losing more chances to purchase in 💥 gr: purchase là có nghĩa mua rồi ko cần in -> at the out-of-town stores. Most suburban shops have had 💥 vt: thì hiện tại -> have cheaper and more diverse products, because of the advantages from their locations. Although moving shops to remote areas brings many benefits for both consumers and sellers, it seems only suitable for customers , 💥 -> who having ability 💥 gr -> have the ability for buying 💥 wc: -> to afford a car. Underprivileged residents may be robbed of the opportunities to consume a variety of products at low prices. As a consequence, the gap between rich and poor people in these areas gradually become 💥 vt: become cần chia động từ -> gradually becomes wider.

Car fumes are one of the most significant elements contributing to air pollution. The more cars are used, 💥 vt: -> we use the worse condition 💥 wc: -> state of the environment is recorded 💥 gr: -> becomes. Nowadays, many countries have been trying their best to develop their public transport systems and using 💥 vt: -> use electric vehicles to reduce the number of private cars and their emissions, contributing to destroy 💥 wc: -> preserving our ecosystem. Therefore, the development of out-of-town stores, having a 💥 gr: từ gốc của cái này cần là participle form -> which has a major role in encouraging people to own cars, has counteracted the efforts from the government to protect our habitat.

In conclusion, the increase in using 💥 wc: -> the use of cars to connect with remote shops brings more serious disadvantages, although some its benefits 💥 gr -> some of its benefits are essential. This change can worsen the gap between people of different income groups and also brings an extremely negative impact on the environment. This issue should be addressed with comprehensive solutions, requiring efforts from both residents and the government, and we can hope for a better future , 💥 when the distinction between rich and poor will fade and the better quality of the environment will be recorded.

• Given the importance of the quality of the environment nowadays, the questions about whether the government should make residents responsible for improving their own habitats, have been looming large. Although at first I considered to the role of the government in this case, I firrmly believe that government should proceed some methods to encourage the citizens' responsibility for saving environment.

  
  

Kết:

• In conclusion, the influence of the government in increasing enhance of people in saving the environment is extremely cruicial and necessary. However, the government can pay the way for a better condition of the environment, but each individuals need to enhance their responsibilty with the environment by their own and cooperate with the council to reach the goal.

═══nn═════════════════════ 🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 𓍯𓂃✨ ✨ ════════════════════nn════

Mở:

Given the importance of the quality of the environment nowadays, the questions about whether the government should make residents responsible for improving their own habitats, have been looming large. 💥 (gr: đây là một câu hỏi nên dùng số ít; câu này dài và rườm rà) -> the question of whether the government should mandate residents improving their own habitats has been looming large. Although at first I considered to 💥 (gr: consider không đi với to) -> considered the role of the government in this case, I firrmly 💥 (sp: sai chính tả) -> firmly believe that government should proceed 💥 (wc: từ này không phù hợp) -> implement some methods to encourage the citizens' responsibility for saving environment 💥 (gr: thiếu mạo từ) -> saving the environment.

EM XEM LẠI CÁCH VIẾT HỌC THUẬT HƠN CHO MỞ.

Kết:

In conclusion, the influence of the government in increasing enhance 💥 (wc: lặp từ và không tự nhiên) -> enhancing of people in saving 💥 (gr: không cần of) -> people’s efforts to save the environment is extremely cruicial 💥 (sp: sai chính tả) -> crucial and necessary. However, the government can pay the way 💥 (wc: từ không đúng) -> pave the way for a better condition of the environment 💥 (gr: không cần of the environment), but each individuals 💥 (gr: số ít) -> individual needs to enhance their responsibility with the environment 💥 (gr: không cần with the environment) by their own and cooperate with the council to reach the goal.

+ Human activities (hunting, destroy forest/deforestation/destruction of… for economic benefits, agricultural land, habitat/building metropolis, ) -> lose habitat

+ Climate change -> global warming, higher average temperature

• Solutions:

+ Government : regulations, strict, imprison poachers, traffickers, illegal activities,

+ Residents : organize events for propagating/enhancing environmental protection = raise awareness = education

exploit(ation)

wild creatures

extinction

ecology

all animals = fauna

all plants = flora/ vegetation

the number of animals and plants are declining = decreasing quantity and biological diversity

_________________________________________________________

In light of the concerns surrounding the diminishing quantities/numbers of animals and plants, questions about its root causes, primarily human activities and climate change, loom large. This essay will analyze both of these reasons and also propose corresponding solutions.

Hardly anyone can deny that human activities have a major role in the threatening of fauna and flora worldwide. Populations have increased significantly and also means increased needs. The habitats of wild creatures have been robbed due to human impacts that are intended to create economic benefits or meet the huge demands of residents. Studies have shown that hunting and deforestation for economic purposes have destroyed the ecosystems and massacred a great number of them. These species may gradually become endangered and even extinct because of the declines in reproductive rates.

The declining quantities of creatures is often attributed to climate change. Higher average temperature has created many alarming conditions and phenomena, leading to the struggle for survival of some creatures. For example, global warming is melting icebergs in Antarctica, whose native species include seals and penguins. Some studies have recorded that the number of these animals have declined to the verge of extinction due to the loss of habitat. The combination of these factors can lead to more serious consequences, unless actions are taken.

At heart of the combat against the decrease of animals and plants is the need to adopt stricter regulations and more programs for educating and propagating the mass population. Both the government and citizens must join hands to achieve this end. While the government should set up new rules, be stricter and harsher, such as higher fines and even imprison people if they threaten the life of any creatures, citizens should organize more volunteer events for enhancing people’s awareness about the importance of saving creatures’ lives.

To sum up, human impacts and climate changes are two significant reasons contributing to the declining quantity of animals and plants. To resolve this issue, multi-faceted approaches are required that involve both the government and citizens’ effort . I believe that only through sustained focus on addressing this issue and collective efforts, can we hope to reverse this unnerving trend.

Topic: Addressing Obesity through Physical Education

Side A: Agree

Main idea 1: Giáo dục thể chất giúp cải thiện sức khỏe - Physical Education Improves Health

Supporting idea: Regular exercise in schools can reduce obesity rates among children. Countries with robust PE programs like Finland show lower obesity rates.

Main idea 2: Thói quen sống lành mạnh từ nhỏ - Instilling Healthy Habits Early

Supporting idea: Early education on fitness encourages lifelong healthy habits. Schools in Japan incorporate daily physical activities for students.

Conclusion: Introducing more physical education is beneficial, but a comprehensive approach that includes dietary education and healthcare support is necessary for effectively addressing obesity.

________________________________________________

In light of the concerns surrounding obesity, questions about whether more physical education lessons should be put in timetables at school or not, loom large. At first I doubted the effective results of this method, I firmly believe that introducing more physical education lessons in the school curriculum may improve this health issue.

Hardly anyone can deny that stress is one of the main reasons, contributing to obesity, thus, physical education lessons are necessary for letting off steam. This subject also provides chances for students to do exercises and improve their health. Students cannot be lazy and skip this significant activity because there is a compulsory subject. Therefore, more physical education lessons are introduced, more regular students need to do exercise. However, some people argue that if the number of physical education lessons increase, other subjects will be replaced and this change may affect students’ academic study. Researches have shown that having both strengthened mental and physical health may help children absorb knowledge more effectively and also reduce a risk of obesity. As a result, the proportion of overweight children may decrease if this idea is done.

Additionally, educating people about the significance of doing exercise at early ages may also be an effective solution. Studies have shown that being taught and learning at early ages may make it easier to practice and absorb this knowledge. Through physical education lessons, children can be encouraged to do exercise frequently to keep fit and inform this activity as a habit. Keeping this habit in the long-term may provide balanced life for both adults and youths. Using much energy for running or playing may keep people’s bodies fit and fat will be removed, leading to the improvement in the number of overweight people.

In conclusion, addressing obesity through increasing more physical education is a reasonable method. This change provides more chances to students to do exercise and help them to enhance the importance of health at early ages.Introducing more physical education is beneficial, but a comprehensive approach that includes dietary education and healthcare support is necessary for effectively addressing obesity.

Side A: Unsustainable Population Growth

Main idea 1: Tài nguyên cạn kiệt - Resource Depletion

Supporting idea: Rapid population growth strains natural resources like water and food. Countries in Africa and South Asia face severe resource shortages.

Main idea 2: Ô nhiễm môi trường - Environmental Pollution

Supporting idea: More people lead to higher pollution levels and environmental degradation. Industrialized nations face significant challenges in managing pollution.

Side B: Beneficial Population Growth

Main idea 1: Lực lượng lao động dồi dào - Abundant Workforce

Supporting idea: A growing population provides a larger workforce, boosting economic growth. Countries like China and India have leveraged large populations for economic development.

Main idea 2: Đa dạng văn hóa - Cultural Diversity

Supporting idea: More people from different backgrounds enrich societal culture. Multicultural societies like the USA benefit from diverse perspectives and innovation.

Conclusion: While population growth presents challenges, with proper management and sustainable practices, it can also drive economic and cultural benefits.

_________________________________________________

In light of the concerns surrounding the significant development of populations, questions about whether this condition should be prevented or not, loom large. Some people argue that unsustainable population growth may impact the environment and natural resources. Others suppose that the population rising may reinforce workforces and cultural exchange. The following essay will analyze these differing views and also give my own opinion.

Advocates of the negative side believe that the population growth not only affects the quantities of resources, but also contributes to environmental pollution. In the scenery of rapid population growth, more essential fuels, such as water and food, are exploited for meeting the demands of life. Therefore, natural resources may have heavy strains and in the near future people may face resource depletion. In addition, population is an inevitable problem when the number of people is rising rapidly. Studies have shown that human activities have created a great amount of footprint, threatening the environment. For example, more people consume, more rubbish is created. Thus, the environmental quality may be reduced due to unsustainable population growth.

On the flip side, supporters believe that abundant workforce and cultural diversity have been the results of the world population increases. The growing population provides a larger workforce and also more witnesses, boosting the economic growth. Moreover, cultural exchange may be more well-known and some programs or events may be organized for many people, being from different backgrounds, to enrich and contribute to develop cultural diversity. Trying many new traditions and applying reasonable skills or products from other cultures may help to enhance the quality of life in each country.

In conclusion, on the one hand, the population increase may damage the environment and deplete resources. However, this situation can reinforce workforces and also improve the diversity of cultures. At first I was convinced of a positive statement, I firmly believe that the negative impacts of unsustainable population growth are extremely serious and some actions need to be taken to limit the consequences.

 🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴 ✨TR: 6.5; CC: 6.0; VC: 5.5; GR: 5.0✨

In light of concerns surrounding the increasing of re-offend crime 💥 (wc: từ này không tự nhiên, em nên dùng "recidivism") recidivism, the questions about its root causes, primarily poverty and the psychological factors 💥 (gr: thừa mạo từ xác định) -> psychological factors, have been looming large. This following 💥 (gr: thừa từ xác định) -> This essay will analyse two different reasons of 💥 (gr: phân tích nguyên nhân cho vấn đề gì thì dùng giới từ "for") this issue and also give some methods to improve this condition.

❗️Suggestions for improvement: In the context of rising recidivism, questions about its root causes, primarily poverty and psychological factors, loom large. This essay will analyze two key reasons for this issue and propose methods to address it.

Poverty can be primary attributed 💥 (gr: cấu trúc câu không đúng) -> primarily attributed to the return of criminals after being punished. Lacking of money can crime many opportunities to improve and continue lives from underprivileged people 💥 (gr & wc) -> The lack of financial resources often deprives underprivileged individuals of opportunities to improve and rebuild their lives. They do not have job for earning money 💥 (gr: thừa cụm từ) -> opportunities, especially when they already have a criminal record, so they need to crime to maintain their lives 💥 (gr & wc:) -> resort to crime to survive, leading to the rate of re-offend crimes still increase 💥 (gr: cấu trúc câu không đúng) -> increasing recidivism rates significantly nowadays. In addition, some studies proved 💥 (wc: "proved" mang tính chắc chắn, em nên dùng "have shown" để mang tính khách quan hơn) that psychological factors also promote people come back to the dark of their life 💥 (wc) -> contribute to individuals returning to criminal behavior. Through the violent in society or the listless of parents 💥 (wc: câu này không rõ nghĩa) -> exposure to violence in society or neglect by parents, people can grow up with distorted thinking, and changing one's psychology is not easy, especially when they are mature. The combinations 💥 (sp: dùng số ít) -> combination of these factors explains why many people continue to commit crimes after the punishment 💥 (gr: thừa mạo từ xác định) -> punishment and even further in the worst scenario if it is unaddressed 💥 (wc: câu này không rõ nghĩa và tự nhiên) -> escalate in the worst-case scenario if unaddressed.

Suggestions for improvement: Poverty is primarily attributed to the return of criminals after punishment. The lack of financial resources often deprives underprivileged individuals of opportunities to improve and rebuild their lives. They lack job opportunities, especially with a criminal record, and resort to crime to survive, leading to increasing recidivism rates. Additionally, studies have shown that psychological factors contribute to individuals returning to criminal behavior. Exposure to societal violence or parental neglect can distort thinking, and changing one’s psychology is challenging, especially in adulthood. The combination of these factors explains why many re-offend and may escalate if unaddressed.

At the heart of the combat against the increasing of re-offend crime 💥 (wc: dùng "increasing recidivism" để tự nhiên hơn) is the need to adopt the actions of both citizens and the government. Providing psycho doctors 💥 (wc: "psychologists" chính xác hơn) and some social activities in prison may be necessary and need to proceed by the government 💥 (gr: cấu trúc câu không đúng) -> should be implemented by the government. Meanwhile, residents should give the 💥 -> a second chance for people with criminal records, Opening a door for criminals to maintain and improve their lives by offering them for jobs and reduce stigma against them in all aspects 💥 (gr: câu này dài dòng và không rõ nghĩa) -> providing employment opportunities and reducing stigma in all aspects.

IMPROVED: At the crux of combating increasing recidivism is the need for action from both citizens and the government. Providing psychologists and social activities in prison is necessary and should be implemented by the government. Meanwhile, residents should give a second chance to those with criminal records, offering job opportunities and reducing stigma in all aspects.

In conclusion, poverty and psychological factors have undeniably contribute 💥 (vt: thì hiện tại hoàn thành) -> contributed to the re-offend criminals 💥 (wc: từ này không chính xác, dùng "recidivism") recidivism, and resolving this problem will require a multi-faceted that involve the efforts 💥 (gr: câu này không rõ nghĩa) -> multifaceted approach involving the efforts of residents and the government. I believe that we can hope to reserve 💥 (sp: từ này không đúng nghĩa, dùng "reverse") this unnerving trend through the effortness of everyone and have a more civilized society in the near future 💥 (wc: câu này không tự nhiên) -> collective efforts and achieve a more civilized society in the near future.

In conclusion, poverty and psychological factors have undeniably contributed to recidivism, and addressing this issue requires a multifaceted approach involving efforts from both residents and the government. I believe we can hope to reverse this unnerving trend through collective efforts and achieve a more civilized society in the near future.

Other feedback:

🟦 Ideas Development and Cultural Sensitivity: Em nên phát triển thêm ví dụ cụ thể để minh họa cho từng luận điểm và thêm phản biện để bài viết cân đối hơn. Ví dụ: "While some may argue that stricter punishment is the solution, evidence suggests that addressing underlying causes like poverty and psychological trauma is more effective."

🟦 Linearity and Logic: Thêm các từ kết nối ngầm để tăng tính liên kết và mạch lạc. Ví dụ: "Such factors, including poverty and psychological issues, intertwine, exacerbating the cycle of crime."

🟦 Nhận xét chung: Bài viết đã đề cập đến các nguyên nhân và giải pháp chính của vấn đề tái phạm tội. Tuy nhiên, để nâng cao band điểm, em cần xử lý triệt để lỗi ngữ pháp

▌ꪑకꪶꪗỉꫀꪶᡶక _𝒽𝓊𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓁𝓎.𝒶𝓂𝓈@𝑔𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝓂 ▌

✨TR: Good understanding and clear description of the data

✨CC: Some sentences are awkward, impacting flow and coherence

✨VC: Some vocabulary is vague or misused

✨GR: Errors in sentence structure and verb tense are present, affecting overall accuracy.

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The provided bar chart gives a useful 💥 hoặc -> detailed insight into the percentage of five types of energy which were used 💥 -> used in North and South America in 2007. Overall, it is observed that oil was consumed the most in both regions, while nuclear energy was used the least at least 💥

Regarding oil and hydroelectric energy, it is clear that residents of South America tended to use this group of energy more than their counterparts 💥 (gr) in North America. While North Americans consumed 41% of oil, the proportion the usage of this fuel in South American was recorded with 5% higher 💥 (gr: cụm từ quá dài và không tự nhiên, thiếu mạch lạc trong câu) -> of oil used in South America was 5% higher. Likewise, the percentage of hydroelectric energy consumed by South Americans (28%) was about five times higher than folded about 5 times with the North Americans 💥 (gr) -> that in North America (5%).

On the contrary, more nuclear, coal, and natural gas were consumed in North America. Following the survey 💥 (wc) -> According to the data, the percentage of the usage between these places 💥 (gr: cụm từ này lặp lại không cần thiết) -> usage of both nuclear energy and coal had a wide gap, with consumption in South America being only about one-fourth and one-ninth of that in North America, respectively. Similarity 💥 (sp) -> Similarly, the consumption of natural gas in North and South America was 25% and 21%, respectively.

IMPROVED:

The provided bar chart gives a detailed insight into the percentage of five types of energy used in North and South America in 2007. Overall, it is observed that oil was consumed the most in both regions, while nuclear energy was used the least.

Regarding oil and hydroelectric energy, it is clear that residents of South America tended to use this group of energy more than their counterparts in North America. While North Americans consumed 41% of oil, the proportion of oil used in South America was 5% higher. Likewise, the percentage of hydroelectric energy consumed by South Americans (28%) was about five times higher than that in North America (5%).

On the contrary, more nuclear, coal, and natural gas were consumed in North America. According to the data, the percentage of usage of both nuclear energy and coal had a wide gap, with consumption in South America being only about one-fourth and one-ninth of that in North America, respectively. Similarly, the consumption of natural gas in North and South America was 25% and 21%, respectively.

▌ꪑకꪶꪗỉꫀꪶᡶక _𝒽𝓊𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓁𝓎.𝒶𝓂𝓈@𝑔𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝓂 ▌