Share your ideas here! by MINSEO CHO

Answer the questions below.

s1147148 — 2024-01-23 05:50:31 UTC

What's your name?
Explain why (or why not) you think the last paragraph is an inappropriate conclusion paragraph.
Knowing the author's purpose of writing, is the first paragraph still a well-written introduction paragraph? Why or Why not?
Rewrite either the first or the last paragraph following the English writing style.
Leave at least one comment on your classmates' posts :)

;);)

2024-01-23 20:35:06 UTC

Hi my name is Audrey. I think the last paragragh was apporpite they told there opinion and wrote it well. The introduction was very short (maybe a little too short). Concludsion: Considering the reasons above early education can be hard when it is tought early. Education may be only tought in school not early which causes stress.

Peace out

My name is Shelby Goulding. The last paragraph in the essay shown may be appropriate in Korea but in English is not. It has the topic sentence in the conclusion rather than the introduction. It is important to have the topic sentence in the introduction so the reader knows what they are reading about. Ex: Early education may have some advantages but in my opinion is bad because it affects the child negatively.

2024-01-23 20:36:21 UTC

my name is sean

2024-01-23 20:37:05 UTC

2024-01-23 20:37:32 UTC

i think thatthe last paraghraph is good but it is different

2024-01-23 20:38:15 UTC

My name is and i think the conlusion paragraph is ok because they have their own way of writting it and i think the first paragraph is ok

Kezia :)

2024-01-23 20:38:28 UTC

1. My name is Kezia Hamilton. I go by Kezia, Kezi, Kez, Zia, or really whatever :)

2. In my personal opinion, I like the Korean Writing Style better. It leaves the reader with the author's clear opinion of the topic. However, this would be inappropriate in America, considering you should have the topic sentence at the beginning to show the reason for writing.

3. The introductory paragraph is lacking an opinion statement. 4. "I am against early education. Despite the benefits of early education, I do not believe that it is appropriate to implement early education because of the following issues. True education is based on the learners motivation and initiative. Children will not know what they want to learn for life at such a young age; they are just figuring it out. This is why children should not have early education, and wait until they are certain of their interests and are not being pressured to do anything."

2024-01-23 20:38:31 UTC

Korbin

Green

2024-01-23 20:38:42 UTC

My name is Karter

2024-01-23 20:38:43 UTC

The last conclusion sentence is not correct because the opinion is at the end and it should be at the start. It is OK but it should be at the end of the paragraph. This is why young children should not be at school at a young age.

My name is Austin Womack. I think the paragraph is good. I think it is appropriate in both languages. It was well written so I think its fine.

2024-01-23 20:38:47 UTC

2024-01-23 20:39:17 UTC

I think that early education is not good. because it is foursed and not chosen but you can still achieve more than normal

Red

2024-01-23 20:39:22 UTC

Purple

2024-01-23 20:39:48 UTC

Adi

2024-01-23 20:39:50 UTC

My name is Adittya but I go by Adi.
The last paragraph is an inappropriate conclusion because the writer states their opinion as the last question. This makes it hard for the reader to know which side it should support while reading the essay.
The first paragraph has everything correct except it doesn't have the opinion statement. This makes the introduction paragraph incomplete and not well-written.
Nowadays, it is not uncommon for children out of school to receive various types of education. Early education has advantages and disadvantages. The pros and cons that will be written below will demonstrate why I am against early education.

2024-01-23 20:40:12 UTC

My name is Aleah Condie
I think that they should have put the opinion at the beginning of the paragraph, and not at the end. They also didn't close the paragraph very good, and just left it in the middle.
There is no opinion statement, and it's hard to tell what the essay is really about.
I believe that early education is not good for child development. Early education does have both advantages and disadvantages. Many people put their children in early education, but its not good for children.

Yellow

2024-01-23 20:40:15 UTC

2024-01-23 20:40:18 UTC

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Blue

2024-01-23 20:40:36 UTC

womp womp

2024-01-23 20:41:34 UTC

2024-01-23 20:42:06 UTC

My name is Kylan. I think the conclusion paragraph is a little bad because it has the opinion at the very end instead of the very start.the first paragraph is a well written paragraph because it has everything because it has everything but the opinion.

I am going to talk about the pros and cons of early education. I am against early education becasue it could have negative efects on the childs health. But it is not uncommon for kids to have an early education. But there are also possibilities for kids to lear more skills.

2024-01-23 20:44:40 UTC

Scripts.com
Bee Movie
By Jerry Seinfeld

NARRATOR:
(Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard)
According to all known laws

pluh.

2024-01-23 20:45:04 UTC

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yoi

2024-01-23 20:45:27 UTC

trace smells like butt hole

2024-01-23 20:45:34 UTC

The essay review

2024-01-23 20:46:15 UTC

My name is Trace Cole
I think the last paragraph doesn't work because of the fact that the option statement is not at the beginning of the paragraph and all the details are placed right before it as well.
I think that the first paragraph would do with a bit more detail talking about the topic at hand instead of one sentences.
Despite the benefits of early education, I believe that the disadvantages of it far outweigh its benefits. As the children could become disinterested in their education because of their intense education as well, affecting them in the long run. Because of this, I simply cannot agree with early education.

2024-01-23 20:47:13 UTC

My name is Nicole Ye

The author purpose was to tell us that there are benifits in early education and.

I think eary educaton is not good for young children this is becaue they are not inexperienced nor developed. There are less likey to learn and pay attition so im against early education.