https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 15:28:11 UTC 2022-04-28 17:35:02 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f33a.png 28jdowling https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/1796647251 Liv, I think one of the strengths that you had in this piece was both the greeting and the closing. I really enjoyed how you opened your paragraph with a greeting that is like the title. The closing, too, was written very well. You left the reader with a question: what am I going to read about? Another strength I thought you had in this piece is how you wrote what you loved and why you loved it. “I could listen to Taylor Swift and Olivia Rodrigo any time any day. In particular my favorite songs are Good 4 You, Cruel Summer, Wildest Dreams, and Happier!” I really enjoyed how you elaborated on what songs you love by these artists. Something that I think you could fix is the capitalization, and repetitiveness of some of your words. For example, you said that you love the vampire diaries, and pretty little liars. When you are naming a show, the first letters of the title should be capitalized. I also noticed that you repeated the phrases: “When I’m not…” and “if I’m not…” quite a few times. I think that you could use a thesaurus to help you find different words so you’re not repeating them throughout the text. Overall, very good job!]]> 2021-10-06 14:14:31 UTC https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/1796647251 28omaver https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/1797340159 I loved how you explained everything that you like instead of just stating it. I also liked all the punctuation you used because I could really tell that you really enjoy that from the punctuation mark. One suggestion is that in the beginning instead of just jumping into things that you like, maybe you could add a sentence starter like: The things that I really enjoy in my life are… Overall I think your writing piece was great!]]> 2021-10-06 17:40:45 UTC https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/1797340159 28omaver https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/1921148249 One of your strengths that I found in your memoir was how to compare the dance to a streetlight. It really helped me understand what was going on and the feeling of the memoir. I also really liked your inner thoughts, it showed your mix of emotions in that moment. One thing I noticed was that your punctuation wasn’t great, but overall I think your peice is truly amazing!]]> 2021-11-30 18:37:34 UTC https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/1921148249 28jho https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/1924219787 Something I really liked about your memoir, “just..dance” was the inner thoughts you added. It really let me know what you were thinking. I automatically knew that you were super nervous. I liked where you said “will I forget it? Or will I remember it and be fine?” Another thing that I liked was your lesson learned. I think it is super powerful and it totally relates to your memoir. I think the lesson is really important in a story like yours. One suggestion I have for your memoir is capitalization. Many spots there were lowercase letters where uppercase letters should have been. If you have that setting on where it’s lowercase maybe you could turn uppercase on for when you are writing or you could go back and re-read one more time to make sure everything is capitalized where it should be. Other than that, great memoir! 

]]> 2021-12-02 02:49:46 UTC https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/1924219787 28omaver https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/2084615575 One thing that was extremely powerful in your essay was your call to action. It made me feel very motivated and I think that it really tells people that they need to help now. Another strength that I found in your essay was your figurative language. I feel like I could really connect to the story with all of the amazing figurative language.One wish is that in your ancotes for your warrant I wish you had a least one that showed what could happen if someone actually had a later start time and got enough sleep. Overall I really liked your easy and I think it was a wonderful piece!]]> 2022-03-08 18:35:53 UTC https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/2084615575 https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/2084683520 Hi Olivia! I love your essay, “A Clear Solution For Students,” because of your go to the heart sections. I like how you elaborated on how the imaginary people in your mini realistic stories are feeling, without actually telling how they’re feeling. I learned a lot just by reading those paragraphs, and strongly understand why you are claiming this. Furthermore, your thoughts follow what you’re trying to say, and so the struggles of having to do your homework late at night have examples that can make the viewer feel as if they are in the character’s shoes. It is truly amazing how much you can learn from someone. However, I have a suggestion for you. In your writing piece, I noticed that you’ve put some commas in different places. This might just be me, but in the sentence, “Ultimately, if school started later then students would not be as late…” I would out a comma just after “later”, but other than that slight translation.]]> 2022-03-08 19:12:53 UTC https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/2084683520 28omaver https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/2157064111 One really big strength that I found in your narrative was your figurative language, for example “ Her hair was in all different places, feeling like a crispy tender” made me actually feel the knots in Meg's hair. Another strength that I found was your ending, it was a really good ending and It leaves readers on a hook and they want to read more and think about it. I don't have any wishes because it was too good but another strength is your setting development for the dark room, it was really well developed and I could just imagine her shaking in her dark room during a thunderstorm.

]]> 2022-04-25 17:51:58 UTC https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/2157064111 28jdadlaney https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/2163060758
Hiiii, Liv! A strength of your narrative “The Lightning Cycle,” is description. Overall I loved the description but I especially enjoyed reading your inner thoughts. The description that was my favorite was “What is going to happen tonight? Will I be okay? Will my family be okay? Will the storm strike so hard it scratches the whole town? Am I just overreacting and feeling paranoid? Meg trembles in her overthinking mind.” I found this part to be very descriptive because you included some phenomenal dialogue and a speaker tag which really implied the emotion Meg felt. Another strength of your narrative is figurative language. My favorite line was “The bright white clouds and the blue sky that once looked like the Pacific Ocean turned into a charcoal black nightmare.” This line really showed the change in Meg’s mind and heart. Great job on that! A wish for you is to go back and check your punctuation because in very few spots you have extra punctuation. All in all, I love your narrative! I rate it 👍👍👍👍👍 out of 👍👍👍👍👍!!]]> 2022-04-28 17:35:02 UTC https://padlet.com/28ogold/ip49p3rdoebqamnx/wish/2163060758