Friday Jokes by Sean O'Connor

Amazon

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:00:05 UTC

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

Meet

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:42:30 UTC

I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.

Oink

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:43:17 UTC

What does a pig put on dry skin? Oinkment.

Banana

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:44:03 UTC

How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.

What did

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:46:09 UTC

What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me.

What do

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:47:07 UTC

What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.

Mama

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:47:48 UTC

What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!

Sleep

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:48:35 UTC

I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!

Jump

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:49:27 UTC

Why did the cow jump over the moon? The farmer had cold hands.

Battle

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:50:03 UTC

How does an octopus go into battle? Well-armed.

Call

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:50:47 UTC

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A Maybe.

Two

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:51:52 UTC

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a-salted.

Kid

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:52:50 UTC

What did the buffalo say when his kid went to college? Bison.

Mayo

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:53:25 UTC

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.

Eat

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:54:18 UTC

Why don't sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

Walks

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:54:49 UTC

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Bike

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:55:23 UTC

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.

Crashes

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:56:06 UTC

What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

Glass

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:56:57 UTC

What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.

Elephant

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:58:00 UTC

Why don’t we see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.

Best

seanhaddps — 2023-10-08 00:58:24 UTC

What's the best smelling insect? A deodor-ant.

Strongest Days

seanhaddps — 2026-10-02 04:28:35 UTC

Strongest Days: What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday. All the rest are just weekdays.

Shoe Factory

seanhaddps — 2026-10-02 04:29:33 UTC

Shoe Factory: Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Many soles were lost.