My shiny padlet by Grant Gilker https://padlet.com/grantgilker/iigdtv3d0rksorde Made with good vibes en-us 2022-04-18 01:59:24 UTC 2022-05-12 20:40:34 UTC hello@padlet.com WORDS WILL NOT BE MY SALVATION AND ARE TRENDING TOWARDS MEANINGLESSNESS grantgilker https://padlet.com/grantgilker/iigdtv3d0rksorde/wish/2146448304 (this was written on the top of my dance reflection day one)
This is not what most would want to hear from a student who has the word "playWRITING" attached to them. I FEEL that more has changed about my artistic outlook this semester than at any other time in my life. First semester I was far too attached to old ideas. But UT broke me, or broke me in. I work at the fine arts library now and I am longer a BFA actor. This has inundated me with literature and art of all the highest orders and from all the loftiest places. But words are failing me. Writing solid prose and lyrical poetry is either too intimidating a practice, or I just find them boring now. As you may have been able to tell by that really clunky sentence. Robert Wilson, Dadaism, Minimalists like Donald Judd, these are the forces that are providing hope. And for now I call that hope FORMALISM and VISUALISM. 

(I am interested in exploring the relationship between identity and art in the collective couscous that is happening right now, but that is a different conversation) This is all very concerning given I am about to embark to Winedale to study Shakespeare for two months. Perhaps we might find it redeeming again there. 

Things are falling apart, I have no idea where the center is, let alone what forces  should be called upon to hold it there. BUT IT'S GODDAMN EXITING.  

]]> 2022-04-18 02:22:07 UTC https://padlet.com/grantgilker/iigdtv3d0rksorde/wish/2146448304 JOURNAL MUST DIE! grantgilker https://padlet.com/grantgilker/iigdtv3d0rksorde/wish/2146579685 I spoke about my incessant journaling habit at the beginning of the semester. I was desperate to maintain my connection with my previous practice. But i've realized my desperate recording of very creative thought demonstrates a lack of trust. For some reason I thought that if I let a thought pass through my head, no others would follow. I am learning that my creativity is not a bucket, but the well (wow that is melodramatic). So now  the analogue journal/sketch practice is about process not preservation. Through this collaborative class i've begun to see that the best work always happens outside of yourself. Presence is never found by saying in your head “BE PRESENT NOW”. you find it through your senses. Feel the space, see your partner, look to the lights. ]]> 2022-04-18 04:44:39 UTC https://padlet.com/grantgilker/iigdtv3d0rksorde/wish/2146579685 FELLOWSHIP grantgilker https://padlet.com/grantgilker/iigdtv3d0rksorde/wish/2146589809 I was so desperate to regain the community I felt I hold lost after leaving the BFA program. I was very adamant that my cohort bond and BOND HARD. I felt that the only way to build that trust and vulnerability was through shared experiences and connecting outside the work space. This enthusiasm was not always reflected. But I have come to respect that. I have come to see that best practices often means leaving your collaborators in the theater so you can refuel creatively. I loved getting to work with such a wide variety of artists. Our cohort featured huge age gaps and interest that varies greatly. I am an artist who believes in total design. I am a control freak. I am grounded by specific choices. But the only way to gain the ability to have these privileges is by being more than gracious. But truly leaving your ego at the door. By remembering what the Greeks told us: there are no creative geniuses. It comes from outside you. It comes from the spirit. And the most tangible reflection of that is your collaborators. 


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