https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-21 13:55:23 UTC 2023-10-17 12:54:04 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f498.png 29eburke https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2353714401 Ok so I’m just gonna start with saying that that was BUTIFUL! You’re an amazing writer Think the message could be a little stronger though.]]> 2022-10-24 14:27:20 UTC https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2353714401 29izhang https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2357371587 A strength of your memoir, “My Big Journey With My Cats”, is the way you described that you were very upset when the kittens had died. I could feel the way you were excited for them and then all of the sudden, they were gone. As you explained how you were shocked by the news that the kittens had died, I could also feel what you felt, how you were waiting for this wonderful moment, and then POOF, it all disappeared, and the sadness that you experienced. Another thing that I liked was how you used descriptive words to emphasize your surroundings and how you felt. It helped me understand what was going on, and how you were facing challenges along your way. However, a suggestion that I can offer for improvement is to use more descriptive words and figurative language. Also, I would recommend slowing down your piece and just writing about one particular moment in detail. I was kind of lost on the way of your memoir because it was going so fast. I  am still wondering what had happened between the gaps of your memoir, and how it was really like to feel exactly what you were feeling.]]> 2022-10-26 14:17:56 UTC https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2357371587 https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2486686160 Hi mya! A strength in your essay is your anecdote. Your anecdotes help the reader understand what students might be going through when not wearing a school uniform. It kind of helps set the scene for the reader to understand what might be going on. Another strength in your essay is your intro. Your intro starts off strong by showing the reader the horror that can happen to students when wearing their own clothes. It shows. The reader says that this is bad enough but there is lots more that could happen. 1 wish would be to add more figurative language to your essay to help the reader better understand your essay. ]]> 2023-02-17 18:56:24 UTC https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2486686160 https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2486721382 Hey Maya, I just want to say before I tell you my two stars and a wish that I loved your piece and that even though I was against uniforms it was cool to see your side. Anyway one star that I have for you was that you put a lot of good text evidence and a that it was really easy to understand your writing. Another star that I have was that you put great examples of what you were trying to inform the reader on and I found myself  really interested in your writing. Something that I think you could work on is writing a bit more because I found myself wanting to. Bit more in places.

]]> 2023-02-17 19:35:01 UTC https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2486721382 https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2489848345 I absolutely loved your essay, but I do agree with Lauren about how it could be longer in some places. I think that you were gonna be expanded on some details and made it longer and more precise. But over all I loved it. It had amazing grammar and great storytelling!]]> 2023-02-21 15:09:45 UTC https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2489848345 29cmccall https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2526291204 Hi nate! A strength of your theme analysis paragraph, “Piper” is that your details were amazing. In addition, I like your transitions. Some things you could improve is the fact you only had one explanation. Another thing you could improve on is your checklist, your checklist is there for a reason and you checked off more than 5 transition words, you had 3. ]]> 2023-03-22 01:01:17 UTC https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2526291204 29cmccall https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2526291919 2023-03-22 01:01:51 UTC https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2526291919 29eburke https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2526303513 Hi maya! I loved your essay. It was great it was descriptive. It was amazing. I loved the fact that you had description I loved the fact that you could paint a picture in my head of what that Pixar short was like but something I think you could work on is maybe a little bit of word choice I think that could’ve gotten better a little bit better, but overall I loved your piece and I think it was great!]]> 2023-03-22 01:10:29 UTC https://padlet.com/29malhouch/i3cr3u08e4gxx2do/wish/2526303513