Sylvia Google Sites Peer Feedback 2019 - 2020 by Sylvia Haley https://padlet.com/26shaley/hydem11f6oko Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 15:13:04 UTC 2025-11-15 08:53:04 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f335.png https://padlet.com/26shaley/hydem11f6oko/wish/421639484  Hi Sylvia,
A strength of your narrative “I’m Sorry” is your description. It is spectacular and so so so fun to read you really incorporate all of the details to just make a scene come to life. I can imagine everything happening as if it were a movie, every piece you add just helps to paint the picture. In addition, You had a really cool storyline and the whole thing just was very interesting I kind of learned from yours, because I always think to make the story’s topic different you have to use say a hobby, place or names to make it stand out but you did it just using the theme and some new elements. However, a suggestion I can provide is, I found some words repeated which they are great ones but I think you can expand.


                                                                            -Maddy S.


]]> 2019-12-09 15:14:48 UTC https://padlet.com/26shaley/hydem11f6oko/wish/421639484 Narrative Story Feedback https://padlet.com/26shaley/hydem11f6oko/wish/421697722 One thing I like about your story is how you describe Martha's feelings in the end of the story. I feel like I really understand how guilty Martha feels after pranking her sisters for pretty much her whole life. I also like how you describe Martha getting whipped and her reaction to that in the beginning of the story. It makes me feel like Martha is a real person whom got whipped. Your story is amazing, but once I finished reading the story, I was left confused about what the time period is. It feels like it's from the Oregon Trial with the whipping and the wagons, but this is supposed to be realistic fiction, not historic fiction. Maybe make them camping or something instead, but I'm not sure. ]]> 2019-12-09 16:37:04 UTC https://padlet.com/26shaley/hydem11f6oko/wish/421697722 Story Feedback 26sbirck https://padlet.com/26shaley/hydem11f6oko/wish/421818066 Hey Sylvie. So, when I read your story, I LOVED SO MUCH the amount of detail you put in. It was like I was living in the story. I also loved how the last sentence of your story was the title of it (the same with min, too). But, since there was Martha, Mary, Minnie, and Ma, the names were very confusing to me. But overall, this was super good. :D]]> 2019-12-09 19:29:38 UTC https://padlet.com/26shaley/hydem11f6oko/wish/421818066