Suggestions :/ by https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5 Poem to be published. en-us 2017-12-12 17:56:43 UTC 2017-12-12 18:34:50 UTC hello@padlet.com I like how this piece connects readers one way to another, whether it's the bully, the person being bullied, a witness, or someone oblivious. It reminds me how ignorant our generation is about bullying and that we need to do something about this. GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215541672 2017-12-12 18:00:34 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215541672 One of the only things I suggest changing is find a different word than intel. Its connotation doesn't fit in. GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215543022 2017-12-12 18:03:35 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215543022 The message of the first two lines need to be a little more clear, so it can more sound influential and profound. GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215543664 2017-12-12 18:05:06 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215543664 You need to be more clear with the message in your poem. Some of the words don't fit in the poem and confuse the meaning a little. Your fifth line is a little confusing, you would want to make it more clear before you try to publish it. GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215544611

]]> 2017-12-12 18:07:14 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215544611 I can relate to what you said when you were talking about rumors because being a teen its very common to have rumors spread about you. GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215545681 2017-12-12 18:09:27 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215545681 GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215548453 I was confused by the first two lines, I think you need to make the point more clear on what you're trying to establish since that's the first thing that the publishers are going to be reading. They might not even read the rest of your piece if the first two lines seem confusing to them.]]> 2017-12-12 18:15:14 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215548453 GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215549907 I don't see how the first topic of bullying and rumors connects to the daily routine thing]]> 2017-12-12 18:18:05 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215549907 GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215550770 Exactly why it the word, "but," capitalized? If you're trying to add emphasis, go for italics. It's well written, but I'd like a bit more detail since I had to think on the plot for a moment. ]]> 2017-12-12 18:19:45 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215550770 Criticism GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215553739 I was very confused throughout the entire thing. How does bullying relate to a person's daily routine!]]> 2017-12-12 18:25:25 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215553739 Positive GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215554519 I like the idea you had when writing the piece. It has a good message that needs to be heard by many people within this world. Bullying isn't a small matter and it needs to be addressed.]]> 2017-12-12 18:27:00 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215554519 GavinR https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215557002 This is something to be proud of. It was truth and people need to know the truth. In reality, everyone knows the truth. The preps, the jocks, the nerds, the bands geeks, all the stereotypes. Everyone knows the truth. They just need someone to admit it for them.

Watch what you capitalize. 

ps. I read this by rapping it. That was fun. ]]> 2017-12-12 18:31:30 UTC https://padlet.com/GavinR/hxe0xl1d27m5/wish/215557002