good life, everyone says I do but that is just untrue, in my perspective I

am weak and sad, I am already broken. I feel like I can crack at any moment

burst out into uncontroallable sobs and fits, the problem is though is that I

cannot feel pain, god won't let me hurt myself like all the others do, it's

either my blade isn't sharp enough or my pills aren't strong enough

when people ask why haven't I killed myself they don't know that I have tried

they don't even know how hard I tried to just hurt like everyone. My world is cold and

beaten.  My friends don't even know half the stuff about me. They do't know how

much pressure I am put under to get good grades, to live up to my fathers

standards is just impossible, they don't know how many  nights I have actually

cried myself to sleep, they don't know the heart break I feel. All they feel is hapiness and joy

while I am sitting here alone, my lifeless eyes staring at a computer screen 24/7. I just want peace

like when your drowining your brain and body does all it can to make it so no water gets in, and just when

you feel like your head is going to explode, you finally let the water in, but it doesn't hurt it actually feels

good, the pain is all gone, it just is gone. So as I sit here typing this message to someone who doesnt

give 2 shits about me, I just want ou to know, I don't know how long I can out up with this fucked

up society, I don't know if I will be able to concure it our not, but all I know is I would give up my

life to make yours better, yes i am scared of dying but it is bound to happen someday, weather

it was a natural death or I decide to take it myself, all I want you to know is that I love you, care about, you and

you are absolutely worth it, don't ebd up like me cause who knows where I will be a week, month, year from

now, no one knows.