I am working on this slowly by taking the initiative sometimes starting on small things, or pushing myself out of my boundaries to gain experience and it truly does build a character, and lastly, by reminding myself that whether the change is good or bad, its direction and effects in my life depends on how I will handle it.  

Negative thoughts can drag a person down both physically and mentally if they are consistently present in their daily lives. Before these negative ideas destroy your day and take a toll on your personal life, it's critical to transform them into positive ones. Many people do not consider pushing thoughts away from our thought patterns, yet we do have influence over the thoughts we let affect us.

 

Lately, I’ve been working to be more appreciative to those people who are there for me. I become more open about how grateful I am for their existing and for always understanding my situation. Now, even the little things they’ve done is important to me and I always saying thank you for everything.

I know I wasn’t selfish, but my fault is that I failed to express how I felt, which they misinterpreted. That’s why I'm currently slowly trying my best to go out and spend my time with my cousins and friends to improve my way of expressing how I feel. If I have a lot of negative thoughts about my social interaction with other people, I replace them with more realistic thoughts like: I will get to know more about them; they will get to know what and how I am as a person. I realize that it’s not always good to spend too much time on yourself, so you fail to socialize. Being alone isn’t always a good thing. 

As a child I grew up in a household wherein I am taught to always do well and be the best in everything. to give my all. Having a successful and perfect image of my sister I aspire to be like her. As I grow old, this path towards always being the best makes me tired that I lose my interest and drive in everything. That I am becoming this person who is slowly destroying her own dreams and aspirations because of seeking too much success in this life. But I think, like many things we’re taught when we’re young, this lesson doesn’t always translate to adulthood. That it is also an act of self care to not beat yourself up for that success if it costs your health and rest. It is okay to not be the best in everything. Because at the end of the day, what matters is the success that will make you sleep with a warm heart and get you excited to wake up in the morning looking forward to what you will do. I’ve learned in a hard way that I will never be my sister because I have my own life completely different from hers. Don’t get me wrong I still love her she still inspires me just this time I’m walking on my own path. And how I will live this life in the present is a gift for my future self. I hope she is happy, I know she will be. 

I've been told that I have a habit of talking negatively about myself. 

Lately, I've realized that this is real and I never once told myself that I am worthy. I think I should begin to believe that I am also capable of doing things. I'll try to quit thinking that I'm useless and quit that "self-bullying" habit. I'll make an effort to be kind to myself.

Most of the time, mas gusto ko talaga mag-isa. Malaya sa pakiramdam kasi wala kang maririnig na kahit ano mula sa ibang tao, payapa at mas magkakaroon ng oras para sa sarili. Hirap ako makipag socialize sa ibang tao kasi parang ang awkward sa feeling, may mga panahon na hindi ako conversation starter. Minsan kaya ayaw ko makipag-usap sa iba kasi natatakot ako na masira yung tahimik kong mundo or feel ko naubusan lang ako ng energy tsaka wala rin naman ako interesting na bagay na maaring ibahagi. Ito yung bagay na gusto ko iimprove, yung matututo akong makihalubilo sa ibang tao, yung hindi ako mahihiya o kakabahan sa pakikipag usap. Yung hindi ako matatakot magshare ng saloobin ko o mga bagay tungkol sa akin. Recently, sumasama na ako pag may mga okasyon para mas makilala ko pa ang ibang mga kamag anak. Small steps ika nga.