I think that two poems express the pain and trauma resulting from residential schools in common while Rosanna Deerchild describes the deeper innermost suffering and resentment about the terrible experience of the schools than Billy-Ray Belcourt. In the poem of Mama’s testament, I can read that how the residential schools tore them apart in physical, mental, and cultural ways and how their entire life had been ruined.  Not only I felt their pain, but also, I can’t agree more with their anger on the Government attitude trying to solve their wounded past with the money without disclosing the truth and reaching sincere reconciliation. The titles of two poem have delivered the message they need to raise voices; Ode to Northern Alverta for representing for the people concerned and Mama’s testament for sharing the story to make a commitment and calls to action for the truth and reconciliation. 

This week’s module is I think the darkest and gloomiest part of Canadian history. The two poems “Ode to Northern Alberta” by Billy-Ray Belcourt and “Mama’s Testament: Truth and Reconciliation” by Rosanna Deerchild both speak about the sufferings and pains inflicted by the colonizers on the First People. As I am reading both poems, all I can feel is anger and disgust towards the selfishness of the colonizers and compassion for the Indigenous People for all they have endured especially the children in the Residential Schools. Both poems depict the agony of children when they were taken away from their families and were stripped of their culture, values, beliefs, and even of their own identity. What’s more horrifying is that the impact of those dreadful experiences does not only haunt the survivors up to this day but also of their lineage. 

               What struck me the most are these lines: “dear claimant no records no proof sorry” of Rosanna Deerchild and “history lays itself bare at the side of the road but no one is looking.” of Billy-Ray Belcourt. It only intensifies that amidst their clamor and cries, no one heard them, no one cared for them, and they were not treated as part of the society. It was just inhumanly possible that church leaders and religious ministries can do those physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual abuses to innocent children which is very ironic to their teachings.

               Just like a little child, begging for the love of a family, of freedom, and acceptance of who they are, I think the titles of the poems are shouting out loud for the Indigenous People to be heard and their stories and the truth to be known. The past can no longer be corrected but validation and reconciliation are their battle cry.

_{I reacted to Rosanna Deerchild’s “Mama’s Testament: Truth and Reconciliation” with more emotional understanding than Belcourt's “Ode to Norther Alberta” mainly due to the detailed descriptors used in Deerchilds poem. A sense of overwhelming sadness and empathy grew as I read each page of the poem, placing myself in her situation, feeling helpless, hopeless, worthless, confused, unloved.. all feelings that would bring me to tears at the thought.} 

_{Though not obvious, the titles of the poems hold feelings of resentment in a sort of sarcastic tone referring to how long it has taken people to realize the truth. The voice/theme of the poem can also be interpreted as both writers feeling that people don’t truly care about their voices nor will take the proper actions to reconcile. I noticed the similarity between the two poems suggests that ‘it’ always finds you and drags you back. A phrase possibly describing many narratives, for example having to return to the residential schools as they did not feel they belonged in their own home or the pain felt after their experience and trying to forget what they went through.. this perspective seems to also carry through the stories of survivors from this weeks module, where the Indigenous try their best to move on or forget, only to be haunted by the childhood trauma experienced with adult actions that don’t serve to nurture their healing ie. substance abuse, mental health conditions.}

Because of the specific descriptors used in Deer child's poetry, I reacted to "Mama's Testament: Truth and Reconciliation" with more emotional comprehension than Belcourt's "Ode to Norther Alberta." As I remember information of the poem, putting myself in her shoes and feeling helpless, forlorn, useless, confused, and unwanted, I felt an overwhelming sense of pain and pity. All of these emotions make me cry just thinking about them.

The names of the poems, though not clear, include feelings of bitterness in a sardonic tone referring towards how long it took people to discover the truth. The poem's voice/theme might alternatively be understood as both writers' feelings that no one cares about their voices or will take the necessary steps to reconcile them. The fact that the two poems are so similar shows that 'it' always gets you and brings you back. This view seems to carry across many accounts, such as having to return to residential schools because they did not feel that belong in their own homes, or the anguish felt following their experience and wanting to erase what they had through...

The module this week was really challenging for me to complete. I was tempted to turn away, to avoid having to deal with the pain from their experience, but I don't know how to reconcile this period, which I now equate with racial genocide, and I don't know where to begin.