In my life there have been three important deaths, my grandfather that I have never met, a cousin of mine that passed away when she was 13, and my great grandmother. Even though it is just a few, they still matter to me because each has a part of what my thoughts are of death.

For my grandfather I never knew him, but it’s as if he had been around in my life, my father doesn’t speak of him and doesn’t engage in conversation when the topic is of his father. And if he does, he only has little to say, and the only characteristics I’ve heard of him was how hard working, disciplined, strict, and a strong-willed man that would take care of his family. As I grew older the frequent comments of my family got me to become more curious of who this man was. They would say that I looked so much like him, and that the life I live is similar to his, just more freeing and easier. He was taken away too early from us from murder, badly injured and was able to say his goodbyes on his deathbed in a hospital and that’s most of what I know of his ending story. 

Life is unexpected and so is death. I never knew the man, but if it wasn’t for his death there's no telling of how life could’ve been like, one fact is that I probably wouldn’t have known my step grandfather Luis Cosio, and wouldn’t have the memories I had with him, but at the same time, if grandpa Francisco were alive I wouldn’t worry about the memories with my step grandpa because I would have never known him. From this death, I’ve gathered that you should always be careful with what you do and who you are around with, you can never be too careful because any moment could be the last. And from death new stories can emerge, new people will come into your life or into the life of your loved ones or friends and it’d be the most random thing, because that’s life.

My sweet cousin was a girl with a heart of gold, she loved her family and brothers, she was like a second sister to me because I’d spend so much time with her and her siblings playing imaginary games and going on adventures. Faithful to the religion she was born in and to me she lived a happy life. I never knew what happened or how her death came about, but I know it was from a disease and passed from it, she was a strong girl battling a force that she didn’t deserve, why her out of billions.

The sweet thing that I think to myself is how she was young, so most likely the fear of death wasn’t even a worry or even a concern, I bet her thoughts were what kind of pancakes will I have this morning or what will I be doing with my family today. Then for my other side I think of how unfair life can be, how death chooses its next victim, why her, an innocent sweet girl with so much life and story to her, why take that away so early. Why did God let that happen? What was the reason for that one, but deep down I also think that she’s at peace and that if it was her time then it was her time and that's life and death. It is unexpecting, but that’s what makes life so interesting is that you get to live it, and if I could say anything about that, it would be to enjoy life to the fullest and spend good moments with the people that matter most.

Lastly my great grandmother Lupe, she was the last person that passed a major importance in my life as she was my mom's grandmother who lived in Los Angeles with my uncle Ovis who was her caretaker. The things I would notice when I was around my great grandma is how content she was, caring for her birds, going to church, and spending her time watching movies and eating her Nopal con huevo. I never knew her much, but to me it seemed like she had everything figured out.

When mama Lupe passed, I didn’t feel as hurt as my mother, but I did feel the sadness that she expressed. It affected my mother, so it affected our home. It was only for a while though as she came to terms with it and her words were, “She lived a long, good life and I’m just glad that we were the ones who were around her often.” Her passing is important because it’s one of the few deaths I’ve experienced in life. She got to live a long life, and I may not know if it was a good one or not, but she kept on going with her life and her death is the kind I hope for. I want to grow old, live a long fulfilling experience of life and to see time go on, I think I’d be ready to go by then. Though as of now, I’m not afraid of death necessarily, but I’m afraid of the unknown and that’s what I think people are truly afraid of, is not death, but what happens to you after death.

(Word Count: 954)

But he let him write no further;
For Death, who strikes whenever he likes,
Is jealous of all self-murther! (Suicide)", "Death's Ramble" By Thomas Hood.

Death goes on a killing spree and decides the fates of many as it goes around a town. To me this story is interesting and especially this art work, because it's all a metaphor of how people were killed or spared by death. As death can be very unexpected and with death a human has no choosing of when their time will be done naturally.

Here is a summary of what I gathered from my field work results:

From 13 respondents, 11 (84.6%) said yes that they've experienced some kind of history relating to death, while 2 (15.4%) said no to ever experiencing any kind of history with death. Once this question was asked the second question was, "If "Yes", did it affect your life in a major way?" 6 (46.2%) responded with, "yes", 3 (23.1%) responded with, "no", and 4 (30.8%) responded with, "not necessarily". These two first questions were a warmup to see who actually has had an experience with death, and how did it affect them and using a question that is a, "yes or no" for a general answer, and the "not necessarily" gives me the information that, most likely this was an experience that had happened in their past or that it wasn't something that mattered.

What stood out to me the most was how even though death was an experience that many of them have endured it wasn't something that half of them even let or didn't affect their life. It was no problem to them, and to me I just think that maybe it wasn't a close person that they experienced with, that it happened years ago, or that it just is something that they don't even think about.

From this survey I gained a better understanding on how people think about death. As if they are or aren't afraid of it, if people think or simply don't even ponder the idea of death and simply live life, because that's the thing we are supposed to do as it's what everyone wants to do. Even when death is a major point in our lives because it is the end of someone's life doesn't mean it has to affect the way we live, instead it should influence us to keep on going and to live our lives to the fullest.

(Word Count: 158)