https://padlet.com/26yklieger/h40xq4w8y5x3 Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2019-12-05 15:13:09 UTC 2019-12-10 18:32:37 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/1f638.png 26apagan https://padlet.com/26yklieger/h40xq4w8y5x3/wish/420787993 I really enjoyed your description about how Benji was feeling in his last moments of living, like for example. "As I leaned down into my bed once again my body aches from the strain of living. My stomach feels like a sewer of bone and marrow. I can feel it digging into my side, and it is piercing my body. I lift up my sweatshirt and to my horror there is my bone growth coming out of my liver. My mouth tastes metallic and I cough. Not a normal cough though… a lung failure cough…" this description made me make a movie in my head about what and how Benji feels. I also really enjoyed how you described her child hood like once she was four she got diagnosed with her condition. Finally one thing i recommend for your writing peice is when you said "the time is 1:57" then after you say its 1:56 maybe you shouldve said "the time is 1:56" then after you said its 1:57. But besides that i enjoyed reading you writing, good job!]]> 2019-12-06 15:19:23 UTC https://padlet.com/26yklieger/h40xq4w8y5x3/wish/420787993 26mlatham https://padlet.com/26yklieger/h40xq4w8y5x3/wish/421719145 That story was SO sad. I can’t believe he would pass away. The whole story shows him suffering in the hospital and trying to make the most out of his final hours. Very sad. I also enjoyed you put sites on your page for people who have Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva (I didn't even know what that disease was until I read this story, i’m sorry for people who have it.) The one thing I wished you changed was to make it more clear about which characters were talking, because of this I hardly knew the personalities of others in the story.

]]> 2019-12-09 17:08:37 UTC https://padlet.com/26yklieger/h40xq4w8y5x3/wish/421719145 26shaley https://padlet.com/26yklieger/h40xq4w8y5x3/wish/422204133 I really liked how you took a serious issue, and transmitted it into a story. It was very sad, yet something that does happen to people. I think it was a very good that you still kept your story on topic even though you probably want to go on and on about the subject. It's a great idea and I hope you put more awareness in more of your stories. Something else I really enjoyed was some of your details. For example on page 3 when you talk about how the main character feels, I really got that. Something that could use some work is the pace. I think you go a little too fast and miss out on some great opportunies to write some great stuff. I love your idea just make sure to go that “extra step”. Anyways, your story is great, I love it!

]]> 2019-12-10 15:17:52 UTC https://padlet.com/26yklieger/h40xq4w8y5x3/wish/422204133