There are borders separating us from the outside world making our problems unseen and now I’m contemplating this bust

“Help me…”

“I don’t want to do this no more…”

“Kill me…”

“This isn’t a game, this is real…”

Should I stay or run, continue the suffering some may think is fun 

It truly isn’t pleasant to see your mom put a gun to her head with the chance of ending up in a hospital bed because of a dumb fight

Or when your cousin is not seen as human because of their sexual orientation

Or when your house is broken into for jewels due to fools

Or knowing that in those streets you or a loved one can get shot at anytime and they’re treating time preciously

Don’t tell me that time will pass and things will get better here

Cause you don’t know the shit I’ve done to survive this hell but, shockingly I’m still not shunned 

I guess it’s just part of growing up in Columbus, Ohio

And if that is what people truly perceive it as then I’ll say “Yep, that girl is me” And I’ll hold my head up high with pride and will not deny a single thing

I do things that aren’t seen as a black things like loving vintage things and hating 21savage but, who cares right, I’ll dust that imaginary dirt off my shoulder and take a deep breath breaking out a smile

I am zealous band trash 

I am the most weirdest and craziest fangirl

I am a very proud pansexual and supporter of the LGBTQ+

I am most definitely not a stereotypical African American unless I’m heated I act like a normal mad black woman

And I am the most dopest musician in my family from violin, to drums, to guitar

When I grow up I want to be in a band with my best friends and make a living

I want to write songs that will be put in the genre of pop-punk or alternative rock

Look at this, 

Person A, is a good kid in school, likes to watch anime and loves reading comics, does cosplay and listens to bands

Person B, is a person who walks around with a blade or some kind of weapon, steals what they want and gets into trouble

Well, those two people are one and that one person is me

I am Person A and B

So, one may ask why would I want to be in a band and not play basketball or be gucci and boujee or sell drugs like my uncle did on the streets 

But, if I wasn’t black would you have to ask me that

Yes, I am an Oreo like everyone says I am

In the late fall of 2016, my mom was diagnosed with a common disease eating away at her body

The days seemed longer to her and she felt like she was coming to an end

An end that she wouldn’t recover from

She was in and out of the hospital

Receiving the treatment some would call chemo

She grew weak and fragile,

Her hairs abandoned her body

Barely any on her head, her arms or legs, where her eyebrows were, or where her eyelashes go

It was painful to see like,being stabbed and slowly bleeding out

March 8th she received surgery

Could barely move or talk while in the hospital bed, like she was possessed or a whole new person

My heart ached 

She had the tissue of her breast and her ovaries removed

Now she’s sitting at home, probably watching something, mostly better now

This November, she’ll have another surgery to get to breast

But, the scars on her body haven’t left yet

And though I thought god left me, it was a miracle

And it is so relieving, knowing the demon has left her body

At least that is what we know between this two year period, waiting to see if they will ever visit again

In these tough times, I had people there to support me

This wasn’t my battle but, it felt as if it was

The battle to defeat cancer

Thank you, for breaking the heart of my kitten *cough*Michael Clifford*cough* and showing your b**chiest of b**ch sides to all of the fandom.

First thing first, you yelling at my fellow 5SOS fans was cruel. All they did was ask a simple question. “Can we meet 5SOS?” And in return they get yelled at and told they would never get the boys. Not to mention, you only want fame. You even said it yourself, you don’t care about Mikey. It’s all about you, isn’t it. Well for someone to say that I’m pretty sure it is. But, whatever. Also, sleeping with your roommate. Now that’s cold. It’s all time low (see what I did there). It’s really balls deep low.

So in the interest of getting things off my chest, I’d like to set the record straight. First, I get that it may be rough and maybe a little frightening when you’re getting bombarded by fans. It’s most likely a bother when that happens. Also, you are just a pawn connected to modest management for PR (public relations) and it’s all fake. Most importantly, you aren’t required to love him. You don’t have to be his shoulder to lean on. 

But you know what? I also think that you should have been a better person to him.

To even begin to understand why I’m so mad about you doing this to Michael you need to know that he saved my life and made everything seem somewhat better for me. I know he can’t be physically there for me, but he’s there mentally. And I have things wrong with mentality but he makes it on volt brighter. He’s defended me, or shall I say us, this entire fandom and I want to do the same. I know personally how it feels to be treated like scum and it sucks. The same shouldn’t go for him. I wouldn’t really care about your thoughts on me. It’s much easier to stand up for him than for myself.

So that’s it. These are actual facts surrounding why I dislike you. I don’t know why you can’t least make this seem nice. What I do know is the following; Micahel is not a bad person and is not worthless and I do not appreciate the way he’s being treated.

I do hate you, but I’m not gonna try and change who you are. I just want people to understand me. And I truly believe that they won’t. If you see me someday, please try and discuss this issue with me. I won’t yell, but I will prove you wrong of your actions.

Sincerely,

Yazmine Patterson

And I guess we could blame it all on anime

Everything about them is basically cringe, especially their fake japanese. Have you heard it? 

“My name is (fill in the blank)-chan, nice to meet you!” or “Arigatou!” and “Oh my god… SO KAWAII!!!” 

I feel like as if they’re disrespecting the language. Using it for fun and every chance they get. I’m pretty sure if that was your mother tongue and you heard that, it would sound like nonsense.

Along with that, in every picture or I don’t know, they hold up their double peace signs and bright toothy smile, trying to impersonate anime characters. Piece of advice; you’re not an anime character, so please, don’t try to be one.

But anyway, this anime stuff is their life.

Say one of the character's name wrong, and your shunned for life because of it.

Here’s an example: Two friends talking about the anime Naruto. They bring up the character Sasuke. One says “Oh, yeah that sa-zu-ke, guy” The other becomes irritated because, it wasn’t the right pronunciation “What the hell. His name is sas-ke.”

Like, I’m pretty sure one name isn’t gonna be the death of you. 

In my perspective a weeaboo is basically a racist. I don’t know if i should be that harsh but, it’s opinion. Why do I think that? Well, they disrespect a culture by trying to act like them but, not knowing anything about that culture’s background.

Until proven wrong, I’m just gonna say this. There is a difference between liking anime and being a weeb.