·      Smell

o   Garlic

o   Oinions

o   Tomato sauce 

o   Good food

·      Hear

o   The tv in the background

o   8balls clicking together

o   Loud talking

o   Laughter

o   The oven beeping

o   Toast popping out of the toaster

·      Touch 

o   The rough orange carpet

o   The cold black tiles on the floor

o   Hugs

·      See

o   Crowded space

o   Emptiness 

o   A never-ending hallway

o   Old wallpaper that is kind of scary

o   A collection of also kind of scary dolls

o   Deer, birds, lizzards

o   A deck that is falling apart

o   A rose garden 

o   Lots of big trees

o   Covered old cars

·      My grandparents

·      My mom

·      My mom’s 7 siblings

·      Many cousins

·      Childhoods and growing up

·      A lot more trees and wildlife than there is now

·      Yes

o   I love and miss my grandma

o   I love my family 

§  It was a place of gathering and bonding which I was always excited for

o   I felt comforted there

o   I felt peaceful there

o   Its nostalgic to think about

§  Being in it empty was nostalgic too

o   Being in it empty was always a weird, sad feeling but it allowed me to reflect 

§  Even moving everything out was a bonding experience for my family which made me want to face my emotions so I could be in that moment with my aunts, my mom, and my sisters

My piece is a collage inspired by my grandma’s house, who I always called “Ma.” Ma’s house was a space that was very layered with memories and emotions for me. It is where my mom along her 7 siblings grew up as well as where my cousins, my sisters, and I would go to visit Ma and attend family events. The house had a long driveway, a never-ending hallway, several rooms, and a wide yard with tall trees and lots of wildlife. Inside was filled with collections, childhood games, a pool table, vintage clothing, jewelry, and decorations, family pictures, new and old magazines and newspapers, and smells of delicious food. Ma passed away in 2017, but her house was not sold until the beginning of 2021, and it remained a vacant empty home for a long time. At first, I never wanted to step foot in the house with everything removed from the inside because I did not want my memory of the space to be altered. After some time, I started visiting the home when my mom and aunts would go to clear it out and do repairs. The more I started going the more I was paying attention to how the light would shine through the windows, the color of the carpet and vibrant tile flooring, and how the house felt larger than ever before. Although being in the house made me feel insignificant, the feelings I would have being there were still comforting and homey. Those feelings guided me while creating this piece. Ma’s Housenot only details what it was like for me to be in the empty home, but also my loving memories of Ma with comments on the sublime in relation to her passing. 

 

 

Syjuco says that 80% of what she makes is crap which she has to produce to get to the 20% that is successful. What did you think of this? Did it surprise you? Do you feel similarly or differently?

Hearing Syjuco say that actually made me feel a lot more at ease with my artistic processes. If an art piece doesn’t work out for me, I’ll beat myself up over it and get really frustrated, wanting to quit. It happened to me this evening, none of my ideas were turning out how I planned them too and it made me have a great loss in motivation to keep going so I left the studio with an unfinished project. The way Syjuco sounded so accepting over the fact that most of her work will not turn out well of the way she imagined is helping me come to terms with that for myself as well.

 

Syjuco says that the Bay Area can be a wonderful fermenting space becuase of the ways that artists can create communities and spaces for themselves in the Bay Area. Do you envision your work existing the Bay Area? What communities or spaces do you imagine your work being a part of (or are already a part of?)

I agree with Syjuco that the Bay Area has several artist communities and is welcoming of all take up space alongside each other. I do envision my work existing in the Bay Area in the future, but am not too sure exactly what community or space they will be a part of. I hope to explore the answer to that question as I continue my artist journey at SF State and making more connections with artists in the Bay to find the space my artistic ideas belong in.

Spacey: Looking at the clouds makes me space out and reflect on anything that comes to my mind. That is the sensation I wanted to evoke from my diorama- a space to look at and just think. 

Alone: Due to the reflection and continuous patterns, being in the middle of the space causes a sense of aloneness. I enjoy the act of being on the top of a hill and looking up at the clouds. Whether I’m with just myself or someone else, when I observe the clouds it feels isolating in the best way. 

Relaxed: The cool-toned color scheme and minimalistic creations in the diorama, there is a sense of peacefulness. Although this description is very contrasting to my other chosen words, the way you see it depends on your interpretation. I created my diorama in this way with the intent of relaxation and believe it does show that, but I also view it from a more anxious perspective as well since that is the state my brain usually jumps to first in situations.