Yang paling gue suka, Abang tuh tipikal orang yang pasrah kalau dijailin, tapi tetap bisa ngebales dengan cara yang sama ngeselinnya. Jadi bukannya kapok, malah bikin pengen jail terus karena ya simpel gak mau kalah sih WKWKWKWK. Dinamika kakak-adeknya kerasa banget, kadang berantem receh, saling ledek, terus ujung-ujungnya malah cekikikan bareng.

Selain seru diajak bercanda, Abang juga enak banget diajak ngobrolin apa aja. Mau topik receh, curhat, ngobrol random, bahas apapun rasanya selalu nyambung. Obrolannya gak pernah kerasa dipaksakan gitu, semuanya mengalir begitu aja. Rasanya nyaman, kayak memang lagi cerita sama kakak sendiri yang selalu ada buat dengerin.

Pokoknya seneng banget bisa kenal Abang. Terima kasih sudah selalu sabar menghadapi gue yang hobinya usil ini, tetap ngimbangin semua energi random gue, dan bikin setiap obrolan terasa menyenangkan. Semoga Abang selalu sehat, bahagia, dan rezekinya lancar. Mau jadi adeknya Abang terus hehehe. Jangan kapok punya adek kayak gue ya, Bang.

Your ragebaiter,

Sam.

from thea cantik

You might not know this but when we were together that day, i process the situation i was in like a stray dog find human after years of abandonment and abuse. I’m well aware i have done things that probably inconvenience you and yet there you are caressing my trembling body.

With you i feel strange. I met people like you, but most of them backed away once the see my scars like it’s indicate how i was too complicated to deal with. I never meant to be tend to, i never asked anyone bandage my wound. I never wanted to burden salvation on anyone’s hand

But you, you’re strange. You fall with me, you’re ready for any worst scenario. You made me see my fear become irrelevant.

Kamu sabar banget sama aku. Terima kasih ya, kak. Anyone can make me laugh, but the way you made me laugh is not only distract me from this awful world, but also introduce me to how peace feels like.

Kak, i realise now that your slow is not something you should apologise for. I’m fast-paced in almost everything ever since i was conditioned to punishment if i ever be too slow. But after i know you for awhile now, i think i want to try to live like you. Mindful. Less worried and more curious about things.

Thankyou for falling with me, Macbeth. Thankyou for let me a new taste of love. Thankyou for accept me for who i am.

Thankyou for your compassion.

Oh and also, i want to let you know that you dont have to apologise for burning my wings. You never were. If anything, you’ll see me better after you touch me with your warmth. With or without wings.

Icarus Adam was once here.

A rune carved on your stone.

Thank u for welcoming me exactly as i am  & for scattering light into my days in the sweetest, simplest ways. I alr miss u & ache for the next time i can bask in ur warmth. Until then, please take care. I love u, My Flamour 🤎

Anyways… aku nggak tau kenapa dari tadi senyum-senyum sendiri pas mau nulis ini hihihi malu sendiri jadinya. I’ve been wanting to say this to you properly because I feel like I only got to say tiny pieces of it while we were together. I really really liked having you as my Mas Macbeth. Out of all the things that could’ve happened, I’m just really glad I got to meet you and have that little part of you in my life.

Mas, terima kasih banyak yaaa? Thank you for loving me the way I am. Makasih udah mau menerima dan memahami Yaya yang datang dengan begitu banyak luka. Aku nggak pernah nyangka bisa merasa senyaman dan seaman itu cuma karena kehadiran seseorang, sampai akhirnya aku berani cerita semuanya ke Mas. Like, literally everything even things yang sebenarnya susah banget buat aku ceritain ke orang lain. Mas selalu menerima cerita Yaya dengan baik. Selalu dengerin Yaya, selalu sabar sama Yaya, especially waktu aku sendiri nggak tau harus gimana.

That’s also why I became comfortable with Mas so quickly. Aku bisa cerita tanpa terlalu banyak mikir gimana caranya menjelaskan semuanya. I never felt like I had to make my feelings sound more reasonable before telling you about them. Terkadang I just wanted someone who would listen without making everything feel bigger than it already was. Mas selalu bisa memberikan ruang untuk itu. Setelah cerita pun, aku nggak pernah merasa malu karena sudah terlalu terbuka. Being able to feel that safe with someone is something I don’t take lightly.

Aku juga respect the way Mas carries a conversation. You actually pay attention to what people say. Mas punya cara sendiri dalam memilih kata-kata and I like listening to you because there’s always something interesting in the way you put things together. Terus Mas tuh punya sense of humour yang aku suka banget. I like that you can be serious one minute and unserious the next. You have this very particular way of being funny that feels very very Mas Macbeth. You’re more thoughtful than you give yourself credit for. You seem to think about things more deeply than you let people see. Itu salah satu hal yang bikin ngobrol sama Mas menyenangkan. I never know where the conversation is going to go but I always enjoy getting there.

Mas, makasih ya udah sayangi Yaya dengan sangat baik. Thank you for being patient with me, for listening to me and for making Yaya feel like it’s okay to be soft sometimes. Yaya beneran grateful banget bisa ketemu Mas. Dan tentu sajaaa, thank you for being Mas Macbeth-nya Ayaya. Yaya juga pengen Mas tau bahwa I’m rooting for you. Mungkin Yaya nggak tau semua hal yang lagi Mas jalanin yet I still want things to go well for you. Semoga Mas dapet apa yang Mas pengenin. Semoga ada hal-hal baik yang datang di waktu yang tepat. Wherever life takes you, I hope you’ll always carry the same warmth that Yaya got to know.

I wish we had more time, Yaya masih mau bikin memori baik sama Mas. I still remember what you said to me. I will have no doubt but will run to you when my world collapses. I’ll remember that forever and ever! Thank you for everything, Mas. Thank you for being someone I could trust with the parts of myself I usually kept quiet about.