A word that turns into a feeling that can fill a person with extreme fear 

A feeling that makes a person numb, mad, anxious, terrified all at the same time 

But sometimes the person feeling this puts on a smile, persuading everybody around them that they are completely fine 

They will hide there emotions, still laugh at the same jokes you’ve told since you were young 

When their heart within is breaking, a noose tight, squeezing, ready to be hung 

They’ll act the same, as though their loved one was still here, completing the same daily tasks, keeping the mind busy with things they’re used to 

But they’ll be thinking about the times they were together, now caged within the loneliness of them gone, not knowing what to do.

Coming home from a long day to that familiar face, thinking they were forever going to be their home, their safe place 

But the blue eyes turned grey and their heart followed after

The rooms where they’d all sit now haunted, echoing with all the past laughter 

That cage of loneliness now greater, growing terribly larger

With no way out, no happiness left in their future since your slow, painful departure 

The light of that candle they’d nurtured for so long 

Now struggling to keep lit, fighting on to stay hopeful, knowing they have to remain strong 

It engulfs them, chokes them, makes them feel weak 

It’s a word that no one wants to feel, society makes them feel like a complete and utter freak 

To feel something that has unlimited options, stranded in the sadness of this endless wheel, A rollercoaster that won’t stop looping

A world without them, full of guilt and pain and the dreams they’d be losing  

An infinity sign thats impossible to break, 

The absence without them in your life, a nightmare they can never awake 

Wishing on a star that they were something, 

Something to stop all their plans vanishing into nothing 

They hoped for a miracle, a reset button, a sacrifice? An exchange? 

But the truth is, fate has its plans for all their angels and we shouldn’t fight for it to change 

Grief is a word that no one wants to hear 

But it teaches us how valuable we are, to keep all of our loved ones near 

Written by Madison-Rose Hawley