What coming out is to me. by Alexander Hernandez https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b Thank you for taking the time to share your story with us. en-us 2021-10-05 15:21:42 UTC 2023-02-22 20:29:11 UTC hello@padlet.com Audio and Video Responses alexander_hernandez78560 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1793496142 Please do an audio or visual recordings for each question.

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Step 6: Once you are done, then click "Playback and Save". If happy then click "Save"]]> 2021-10-05 15:27:44 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1793496142 I was 5 years old, and I just knew. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1793601460 2021-10-05 15:55:57 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1793601460 Not really a coming out. I was sorta like that small tree in the back yard, everyone knew, and then one day it was just big, and I was super gay. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1793603936 2021-10-05 15:56:41 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1793603936 Honestly, I don't think so. I'm really glad I'm the person that I am, if life would have been any different, or not as rough, I'd probably be an unempathetic "successful" democrat cis person. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1793619131 2021-10-05 16:01:10 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1793619131 Don't know how long you'll be in there, so make it comfortable for yourself. Find a friend you can confide in, either locally, or online. Don't do anything you don't want to do, and trust your gut instincts, they're usually right. georgehuerta89 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1793652482 2021-10-05 16:11:05 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1793652482 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794349697 Medrano- Not quite sure on the timeline, but I was maybe around 9 when I realized I had developed a crush on a friend of mine. ]]> 2021-10-05 20:23:46 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794349697 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794369493 Medrano- I came out to my mom when I was 14. It was emotional and frustrating. I was left feeling at fault for something I couldn't control. It was new terrain for the both of us, so it was sometimes rough and unpleasant. However, we both tried and learned how to better navigate this change and, over time, developed a better relationship. ]]> 2021-10-05 20:33:35 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794369493 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794409553 Medrano- No. As much of an ordeal it was, I felt like I had done what I felt was best for myself at the time. I was dealing with other things that felt like a burden, and coming out felt like I had unpacked one of the heavier loads. It was not the end of my journey in accepting myself at all, and sometimes it felt like it added more to my plate than remove, but it definitely came with some relief. It was the first step, for me, in owning who I am.]]> 2021-10-05 20:52:35 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794409553 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794437772 Medrano- Come out on your own terms at the time that is best for you. You may decide to do it now or years down the line. I am going to be 26 years old and I still have moments where I feel like I am coming out! The truth is that it's not always something you do just once. Pick your battles. Most of all, if coming out is important to you, do it when and if it is safe for you to do so. Make friends you can confide in and treat you the way you expect to be. They will make you feel a little more invincible. ]]> 2021-10-05 21:06:25 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794437772 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794492529 I always got in trouble when I was younger for the way I performed gender and moved and took up space. But, it wasn't until I was 14, a freshman in high school, that I first had a crush on a male classmate. ]]> 2021-10-05 21:38:23 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794492529 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794494590 I was pushed out. Someone overheard my friend and I having a conversation about my first same sex attraction and decided to let everyone at school know. The first time I came out, it was like pulling a band aid. ]]> 2021-10-05 21:39:38 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794494590 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794496106 I would have preferred to have had a choice. But in hindsight it was somewhat of a relief to not have to be in the closet. ]]> 2021-10-05 21:40:38 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794496106 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794502981 Come out at your own time and on your own terms. Coming out is your story any no one else's to write. Also, make sure that you will be safe if you decide to come out. As you grow older you will have more agency to make decisions for your own wellbeing. Come out to friends and family that you can trust and take it from there. You will likely come out time and time again throughout your life as you meet new people, move to new places, and take on new careers and adventures. Its not a race and there's no need to rush. Do what keeps you safe and makes you happy. Happy Coming Out Day! ... even if it's not your time to come out just yet. You are valid and valued as a queer person no matter where you are on your journey. ]]> 2021-10-05 21:44:51 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1794502981 alexander_hernandez78560 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1797708237 2021-10-06 20:21:27 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1797708237 alexander_hernandez78560 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1797713094 2021-10-06 20:24:00 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1797713094 alexander_hernandez78560 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1797715561 2021-10-06 20:25:26 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1797715561 alexander_hernandez78560 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1797718440 2021-10-06 20:27:00 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1797718440 Garcia- Although I think I always knew, the moment that changed everything for me was when I was 15 and my (then) first boyfriend came out to me and told me they were trans and wanted to transition to be female. I liked and admired her for having the courage to do that. So, she also became my first girlfriend and I (officially) became bisexual. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1799365273 2021-10-07 10:42:41 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1799365273 Garcia- I’ve never had a big coming out story- to be honest, there’s a lot of people in my life that still don’t know, even now that I’m in my 20’s. I think the closest I’ve ever had to a big “coming out” was that when I was in college, I always introduced myself as bisexual when people asked. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1799366574 2021-10-07 10:43:31 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1799366574 Garcia- I sort of wish that I had had the courage to come out in a bigger way. I’ve always been really selective about who I tell my story to, but I’m just glad to have the people who know in my life be as supportive and loving as they are. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1799367260 2021-10-07 10:43:53 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1799367260 Garcia- Coming out is part of a marathon, not a race. Do it on your own time, in your own terms, with the people you love. When it is time, your future self will thank you for the moment you decide to be your most authentic self. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1799368028 2021-10-07 10:44:18 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1799368028 Mars-I was 6 when I realized that I was not like the rest of the girls in my class, they loved pink,played with dolls, and would sit on the benches and talk about who's cute and who's not. I would make more friends with boys, I'd wrestle them, fight them sometimes,talk about our troublesome sisters,talk about sports and hung out with them on the monkey bars. I didn't know what the difference was between boys and girls. I'd keep my hair short as possible and wear polo shirts and jeans instead of sparkly dresses. I ended up drawing myself as a male and my teacher had called my mom about it. She ended up talking to me about it and she asked THE question in front of my mom,"(Deadname), do you feel like a boy?)" and my 6-7 year old mind said the most affirmative yes ever. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1800781373 2021-10-07 19:19:19 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1800781373 Mars-To be honest it had gone not the way I expected it to. I came out when I was 11. I had told my parents I needed to talk with them then we all sat there in my parent's room on the bed. They waited patiently until I spoke about how I am, my identity, and my new confidence with myself. As soon as I was done, the room had felt silent. That's when I felt like I shouldn't of said it in the first place. My dad came up to me and hugged me, he jokingly told me he finally had a son to which I laughed ,but my mom was there, quiet. Then after a while i spoke to my sisters about it and they said they had known. But, my mom the next day we went to the doctors then signed me up to the hospital the exact day. So, it turned out that she had thought I didn't know who I was and assumed that going there would've been better which ended up putting a strain on the relationship.She's getting more accepting however. It turns into a new page everyday so, i'm happy to express myself after so long. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1800838922 2021-10-07 19:54:39 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1800838922 Mars-I wish I would've explained more throughly than just,"Ayo I'm a boy." But, other than that I wish I could've just ignored negative comments back then because I used to pay attention to them so much and ruin my own day! I wish that would've been different. I wouldn't change anything else. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1814664082 2021-10-13 17:16:34 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1814664082 Mars-That you got this and make sure that you are completely within a safe area to come out. Make sure to come out at your own time( patience is key!) and not on impulse. I know that you want to present yourself ,but make sure that if all goes wrong you can stay at a friends house. Also, make sure to say your boundries and help them understand. If they purposefully don't want to understand then that's their problem and ignorance. Make sure that you have a support system/a safe space for you to go to such as counsling circles, hanging out with friends, or self care. Check for proffessional help if it goes to a certain extent. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1814676943 2021-10-13 17:21:24 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1814676943 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815219123 I just knew . Im not picky with anyone , I love people and forming bonds with people despite gender and such. I like girls like a lot ]]> 2021-10-13 21:49:29 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815219123 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815220849 I kissed a girl (AND I LIKED ITTTTT THE TASTE OF HER CHER-)]]> 2021-10-13 21:50:40 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815220849 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815221017 I mean looking back on it, I feel like I've always known, if that makes sense? I was probably 11 when it first really occurred to me but i feel like it took a bit of challenging the homophobic stuff I'd been taught to really accept myself.

]]> 2021-10-13 21:50:48 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815221017 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815226420 I'm not out to my family/most people so I feel like I don't really "have" a coming out story because so few people know, but with close friends I either told them over text when I felt it was safe enough or mentioned it offhandedly which lead to more in depth conversations.

]]> 2021-10-13 21:54:45 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815226420 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815228976 Accept me . Why do I seek validation from people ? I want to love who I love and not be afraid of that ]]> 2021-10-13 21:56:46 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815228976 I sort of feel like I'll have more opportunities later in life to really "come out" once it's a realistic option and there's probably always going to be people to come out to cause it's not like a one and done sort of thing, it's kind of ongoing y'know? https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815229956 2021-10-13 21:57:30 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815229956 A.K. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815230469 I kinda always knew I was, but I was always in denial thinking it wasn't possible because of the examples my parents would express on me of male and female, but I would question sometimes who I desired more, male or female. By the time I was in 6th grade, I found out what gay and lesbian meant and "Straight" so I tried figuring myself out like a puzzle. Sometimes I would have my eye on a guy from a movie, other times I would eye the female or both and I felt so so fruity that I was just in a complete mess. I decided to search more about the community and learned the different kinds of sexualities and identities and bisexual sounded like the perfect definition for me. I wasn't quick to confirm, but my feelings for male and female started to develop more freely and eventually it was confirmed that I was both lesbian and straight by the age of 14, making me a bisexual. I am who I am and eventually I'll feel more freely along with my community.]]> 2021-10-13 21:57:54 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815230469 https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815231806 Please don't come out until it's a safe option and you won't be put in any danger. I know it can be really hard sometimes to have to hide who you are when some people don't ever have to worry about this, or have accepting family/friends. You'll get your time to come out and you'll be okay, it just sometimes takes a bit of waiting to get to that point. You're not alone, there's a lot of people facing similar situations and you'll get through this in time.

]]> 2021-10-13 21:58:56 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1815231806 It was really random. My sister kept insisting, "Tell mom, tell mom, she'll be okay with it" she would always say but I would never tell. Eventually my sister mentioned about the lgbtq community and how I was part of it, so I had told her what it meant and how I know I am in the community. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1818668578 2021-10-15 02:35:43 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1818668578 I wanted for my parents to find out differently other than such an unexpected moment. I came out in such a sloppy and nervous way, that I couldn't express more to it for my parents to completely accept me. https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1818675209 2021-10-15 02:38:39 UTC https://padlet.com/alexander_hernandez78560/gumci6df9ttjq03b/wish/1818675209