What exactly does it mean to be resolute? Merriam Webster says it means “marked by firm determination, resolved, bold, and steady. I will have a moment of transparency here. I did not start to have a clear determination or a firm resolution about a lot of things until I was an adult. I was not bold, nor was I steady, though I could give off the appearance of both. I lacked confidence from years of undermining and fear. Those habits die hard and those are things that I struggle with.  

So, what was I protecting? What was I supposed to be determined about, resolute in my guard? I still do not have the answers for that one. All I know is that I was named after my father. Yes, I am a junior. I do not know why I was named after him. I am the last of my name. We, my father, and I, have had an interesting relationship, full of its share of turns and complications. He represents a lot of things to me and for me. He is a southern star that I continue to move away from through practice, learning, and principles. We are on great terms, and I love him dearly, even if he does not make the best decisions. Like my siblings, I am learning to love my parents where they are, while realizing that they are not only products of the generation before them, but that they may or may not be working through their own trauma at any given time. He has become softer, or the correct words are a little more understanding in his willingness to listen. I blame the grandchildren for this turn in behavior and attitude, as it was not exhibited to me as a child. He was a self-centered, hot-headed, lustful man, who would get what he wanted by any means; but lessons from that type of living have opened pathways for us to learn and grow together. I am grateful for that.  

I have never given much thought to how people react to my name outside of my family. Lies, because there have been plenty of shocked faces of receptionists when the interviewee is a black man with my name. I do not know if it was my parents' way of playing the game, or if it was just my father being selfish, but that is where they landed with my name. I am not sure if I would ever change it. It has grown into becoming my own, and I have people and things that I want to protect, I can comfortably and confidently say that now.  

If I could choose a new name, it would be Pilar, but with a Spanish pronunciation. That was the name I chose in high school Spanish my freshman year because it was defined as ‘of strength’. I am a juxtaposition of three cultures, I am Anglo and Vietnamese, but my earliest memories are living in Lima, Peru. 

I fear that it has not changed much in the years since I have studied it. 

I fear that the older I get the less patience I have to make a difference - see the first two fears.

2)   A lens that illuminates the burdens shouldered by people existing at the crossroads of two or more marginalizing lived realities 

3)   “Black, Chicana, indigenous and other feminist communities of color continue to be tasked with demonstrating the ways in which mainstream feminist activism fails to attend to the needs of women who are endure multiple forms of structural inequity” (Crenshaw, 1989).  

4)   Comes from critical legal studies – legal studies neglected to attend to the needs of black women (critique of legal scholarship and second wave feminist scholarship)