Shane.B. Google Sites Peer Feedback 2021 - 2022 by Shane Berthold https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-10-04 17:32:20 UTC 2026-01-05 16:56:32 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-uploads.storage.googleapis.com/1385543884/672e5a018b776721261b98f379cd035f/E9743CCC_910C_4EEE_BB42_1B7092237765.jpg 28jfrimpong https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/1797356194 I also like some of the games you mentioned ]]> 2021-10-06 17:46:43 UTC https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/1797356194 Shiloh Verrico 28sverrico https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/1800541207 Hi Shane! I loved how you added impeccable descriptive words such as, “ Precious”  “Sacredest” “Outrageous” and  “Fearless”. I was super surprised in your writing detail throughout your About Me! One thing I suggest is having it a bit more organized, it was more about visuals then the piece itself. ]]> 2021-10-07 17:26:21 UTC https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/1800541207 Andres M. 28amora https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/1925370365 Shane your writing was glorious I like the section of you writing where you said you were suffocating your hand to show what they were doing and not telling. Another section of writing I like is when you said “And the dog bit…..” you more intense than “and the dog bit my hand” Although a wish I have for you is to reread your grammar ]]> 2021-12-02 15:06:22 UTC https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/1925370365 This is a pretty gruesome memoir which I really liked. It made the reader scared but hooked and amused.The dog biting you and the amount of pain and blood spillling out hooked the reader.It really made the reader pull in to see what happens next; it feels like it could go a million ways. And that made the reader feel somewhat scared.It could be lengthier and could have more detail and context. https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/1925850376 2021-12-02 18:37:18 UTC https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/1925850376 Essay 28amora https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/2081883791 Andres- Shane your essay was amazing, especially your beginning of your essay I was very pulled to read it like how you said “screeching alarm, dazzling their vision” it was very relatable. Also you make really great stories in your warrants it’s exactly how I feel seeing the sun rise and bowing what I have to do next. But I do want you to look and your spelling you put some things that aren’t supposed to be there]]> 2022-03-07 15:19:14 UTC https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/2081883791 Hey Shawn , nice introduction. It’s good that you explained how it torchers kids and how the kid slithers out of bed and down the stairs. It directly confronts the problem. I also like your first warrant, it explains that kids don't like school in the first place, but no sleep makes it worse. How much the school needs to take in consideration also is good. I think your last warrant was a little too short and felt rushed. Like some grammar isn’t right, and the example of him getting 9 hours doesn’t make sense because that is a good amount of time to sleep. Also I’ve caught you playing games on camera, ez claps. https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/2084618060 2022-03-08 18:36:56 UTC https://padlet.com/28sberthold/gtisi86z07vhr3ih/wish/2084618060