My Discoveries of Confidence by Mayerli Castaneda

Fairfield Woods Middle School, Fairfield Woods Road, Fairfield, CT

mcastaneda64 — 2024-10-25 04:30:15 UTC

In the auditorium of Fairfield Woods Middle School, is where I sang my first solo.

Upon auditions, I didn’t expect to get it. It was a spur of the moment decision, which ended up being a first time experience I wouldn’t forget. The day of the concert was extremely nerve wracking, my mind conjured up various ways in which this could potentially be a huge mistake. What if my voice breaks, what if I forget the lyrics? Every question formed into a sense of self sabotage, subsequently increasing my nervousness. When I stepped up to sing, I looked out to the crowd and felt my breath catch in my throat. Every seat was filled, and almost instantaneously I began to feel claustrophobic. The lights were too bright, piercing into my skin. I heard the back track for my part begin, and decided at that moment, I could either embarrass myself completely, or trust in myself, and in my voice. I looked behind me, and felt the support of my two friends in the front row who offered huge smiles as a form of comfort. I saw one of them lift her thumb up, and mouth a silent,

“Good luck!”

I then prepared myself, and went for it. My nerves converted into confidence, my previous claustrophobia and the piercing lights suddenly didn’t matter. All that genuinely mattered was that I was there in that moment, and felt the music. When it was over, a smile overtook my face and I shakily walked back to my place back in the center of the chorus section. Ultimately, It ended up being an experience that skyrocketed my passion for music.

Burroughs Park, Burroughs Road, Fairfield, CT

mcastaneda64 — 2024-10-25 04:31:51 UTC

My stomach was overturning with everlasting nerves as I forced the car door open. My cleats clashed against the concrete as I retrieved my ball and made my way toward the field. Game day was always nerve wracking, especially when I’m the main source of defense as a goalie. Walking up to the field, I gazed upon my team as they warmed up. I noticed a stand in at the goal as they waited for me to arrive, and the view only intensified my nerves. I walked up the field, smelling the brisk morning air as I heard my name being called by my teammates. After releasing a gasp of air, I turned to my coach who was seemingly busy setting up plays.

“Are you ready for today, Maya?”

He said to me warily, but also enthusiastically. He tried to offer me a smile, but it must have been evident how the nerves were spilling out of me and all over the field.

I smiled back, giving a quiet yet somewhat sure, “yes,” and diverted to walk up to the rest of my team.

I continued dragging my feet, fear written in bold letters across my face, as I took my place in the goal. I strapped my gloves on, adjusted my uniform, and signaled to my team that I was ready to start. The soccer balls came faster than they ever have before, and I stumbled slightly after a few misses. I was thrown off my game, the opponent of nerves was beating me. After a few more moderately embarrassing misses, and some saves, we were told to quickly huddle up. I heard cheers from my teammates as I quickly unstrapped my gloves, the buzz of anxiety resulting in a shake in my hand. My team huddled, and I joined from the back as my coach began to speak words of encouragement.

He said something along the lines of, “Get out there, get on defense, do your best.”

I stared up at him, and then around at my team, and in that moment I decided to have faith in myself and in my position, rather than let the anxious rattles best me. My defense gave each other nods of encouragement, and then looked over at me to repeat the gesture. I knew then I had backup, and I wasn’t the sole lifeline of the team. I had support. The nerves and shakes became excitement as a smile spread across my face. I reminded myself that I loved the game, loved my team, and needed to get my head away from anxiety and towards determination to win. Confidence overtook me as we began to take our positions, and when the whistle blew, I was ready.

Warwick, Rhode Island

mcastaneda64 — 2024-10-25 04:35:43 UTC

My coach always says the importance of dance is, “it speaks for you when words are faint.” I always loved the sport, however starting at an older age such as 14, I was never exposed to the fullest potential of which I could be exposed to. A girl on the team with me, she had been working since she was a child. The experience gaps took a toll on me, sometimes aiding in the thought that I had no place on the team. Having no experience, or confidence in my own sport, was incredibly draining. When I was told we had dance camp, a three day trip to Warwick, Rhode Island, in August, my emotions split into an equal two. On one hand, I was excited to meet other dancers and learn styles of choreography that contrasted from my coach. On the other hand, however, I was simultaneously afraid. So afraid, in fact, that I almost dreaded it. To be in a place where there were hundreds of dancers, all of which gave the same amount of work that I did but were simply better? It was terrifying, and I didn’t know If I had the will to go out there. Having the support of my team though, helped calm the overwhelming tidal waves. My team and I had been learning, practicing, and drilling a routine throughout the entirety of summer, and it got to a point where we would fall asleep and run it in our dreams. We were ready. The plan was to take the trip there, take a tour, meet the crew of helpers, and perform for the rest of the dancers at the event. Seemingly, the plan was foolproof. Regardless, my mind ran through numerous occurrences which would ruin the experience, and the more thoughts I possessed, the tighter the knot I had in my stomach grew. Consequently, the bus ride there made me relentlessly sick. However, I soon came to realize that the continuous thoughts pertaining to fear I had were waning the more time I spent there. The girls I thought would be unapproachable, were kind, and the staff were too. The performance on our first day gained more applause than previously thought. Overall, the reality of it was superseding the expectation. However, I still held much anxiety for the mini required classes. The entirety of camp, I was able to be with and additionally work with my team. These classes, though, were individual. My coach placed me into a class named “floor work” and upon realization, it hadn't seemed that hard. However once I stepped into the room where floor work was taught, I immediately realized it was millions of miles out of my comfort zone, and the desire to leave was extreme. However, as I sat down and saw the kind smiles and welcoming expressions on the other dancers' faces, I realized that if I gave it my all and my all still wasn’t qualified as good, it didn’t matter. This was a learning experience, not a contest. This sudden sense of consciousness pushed me to move my body to the limits and expose myself to new grounds. My confidence actually aided me in achieving some of the steps told, and I was still proud of myself regardless of my contrasting level. Overall, the experience was educational and prompted me to continue dancing in that field in order to improve.