The Pursuit of Peace ☮️ by Jamill Shelby

Special Sauce: Survey

jamillshelby — 2025-05-13 18:56:32 UTC

After thinking of people who are in relationships, I sent this survey to them and to explain what peace means to them and how respect plays a role. To me however, I have similar answers from the questions I put in this survey. Not one out of 10 responses said that they would isolate or be in defensive mode when their spouse, friend or family member is feeling disrespected. Personally, I believe peace in a relationship comes down to respect for one another. Peace is not simply avoiding conflict, rather, it is knowing that you are valued, heard in a way that is safe for you to bring your whole self into the relationship. Respect means providing each other the space to speak freely without fear of judgment, dismissal or lack of attention, avoiding conflict supports this respect, but peace arises when respect is a constant. One of my family members said that if he felt like he was feeling disrespected by someone, he would distance himself and walk away from the situation. That was quite shocking not only because of the consistency in responses, but also because I personally felt the same way. It reinforced something I believed for a long time, that you may as well short-circuit peace in a relationship if disrespect is present. Arguing and making each other mad is not gonna help solve any problems at all. It can lead to having emotional distress, physical reactions, and hurting each person to another. The percentage that I've got about when you or someone who you love the most would react after conflict. There were about 44.4% of people responding, saying that sometimes when they get into heated arguments or fights, they forgive each other. But for me personally, if I'm in this situation, it would take me forever to forgive someone who wants to apologize to me for their actions. It shows me that peace is not really a feeling, it is a process. It has formed a moment-to-moment through respect, patience, and care. It is in deciding to listen, to understand, and preserve the emotional safety of those we care about. And respect can be undone very quickly, as can peace. Another finding from the survey will stick with me. 88.9% of participants said the statement "It is possible to have peace in a relationship without mutual respect." The answer spoke for itself. It validated a feeling I have long had but is so rarely articulated, peace without respect is a fantasy. Overall, what I learned from this survey is if we want peaceful relationships, then we need to give and expect genuine respect. Without it, there will be no peace. Meaning that there will be nothing but silence, disengagement, and broken hearts. We all must be accountable. For how we talk, how we listen, and how we show up for each other. Because peace alone does not mean getting along. It is caring enough to protect the connection.

(Word count: 496)

Visual Image #1

jamillshelby — 2025-05-20 17:01:10 UTC

I love this verse because Jesus is offering us the gift to have peace and that he is preparing his disciplines to us and he wants to encourage our inner faith.

Visual Image #2

jamillshelby — 2025-05-20 17:04:05 UTC

This is my kind of peace when I'm in a relationship-- just you and your partner watching the sunset at the beach cuddling!

Visual Image #3

jamillshelby — 2025-05-20 17:05:48 UTC

This quote means a lot because you should never take out all your anger or frustration on the person that you love.

Visual Image#4

jamillshelby — 2025-05-20 17:14:04 UTC

I just love being somewhere where there's no one that can destroy your inner peace and not disrupting you.

Introductory Video

jamillshelby — 2025-05-20 17:14:47 UTC

Self-Reflection Video

jamillshelby — 2025-05-20 17:15:19 UTC

Findings

jamillshelby — 2025-05-20 17:15:36 UTC

Personal narrative

jamillshelby — 2025-05-20 17:16:25 UTC

I used to believe that love was enough. That if you loved someone deeply, intensely, and without question, the rest would fall into place. But peace is the main part. For me, I have been trying to find peace but it's just so hard to find it. I used to believe that my family members are my peace. But not everyone brings me peace.

I remembered when I went to my grandmother's house in North Oakland to help clean her basement because she had a lot of stuff in there that was dirty and old. So my dad, uncles, aunties, cousins, and I went over there and cleaned it out. I was trying to talk to my cousin (on my dad's side) about what's the update in life or what she's been doing because mind y'all, I haven't seen my cousins in years. This was my first time seeing them since 2023. I was trying to talk to them but they were acting like they were acting like they were doing something so I just barely got a chance to talk to them. But then later when I got home, my dad came up to me saying that I said some stuff that offended my cousin about her body parts, which is not true because I would never talk about anybody's body parts when it comes down to family. After hearing the news from my dad, I kinda felt broken hearted because I never ever talk about my cousins body parts knowing that I'm in a whole relationship. During the time, I was talking to my siblings about the situation and they were just shocked knowing that I would never do such a thing to anyone in the family. So I just let it go because if I keep bringing the situation up, I'm gonna keep getting hurt every time. So everyday, I'm always talking to my girlfriend about it and she helps me bring peace on how to get rid of issues that I'm willing to deal with. But right now, I find peace in her and to myself because that's the only way that they can help me grow as a person and to become better.

(Word count: 368)

Visual Image #5

jamillshelby — 2025-05-20 17:29:06 UTC

This image refers to sharing kindness, compassion, and positive emotions with others.

Original art

jamillshelby — 2025-05-23 06:58:20 UTC

This is my original art that I made. The real meaning of F.A.M.I.L.Y (Forget About Me I Love You) it gives out a message to everyone to express their love to others unconditionally and having commitment to being there for your spouse/Friend/ Family member. It suggests the willing to let all the personal stuff go that happened in the past and keep moving forward.

Annotated Bibliography

jamillshelby — 2025-05-24 08:49:45 UTC