Period 3 Turning Point Essay Peer Feedback by Jacquelyn Jarrell https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6 Post a video with a targeted request for feedback. Share your draft so the link is "Anyone with the link can comment." Respond to 3 other peers in your class period. en-us 2025-08-29 17:23:42 UTC 2025-09-15 23:11:40 UTC hello@padlet.com "LEARNING TO FISH" - Ms. Jarrell jjarrell10 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576743483 INSERT LINK WITH ACCESS TO COMMENT

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jY2KtgF0qXtCC2NN1b_-8KAG5ceYtLQONTsmxTj2Tp8/edit?tab=t.0

REQUEST: Can you help me with my ending? I think it's a little too short and ends abruptly. Does it explain what I learned well?

]]> 2025-09-09 20:39:59 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576743483 hello https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576765479 https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1vGsu-y2r51DJa7Owl53rjdHyA0KbUsnCUE_uR_ofIc0/edit?usp=sharing

]]> 2025-09-09 21:03:08 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576765479 "THE FIRST BOOK" - Zaney zmartinez0557 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576771524 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1a7ROAalOqXEVwEfFWkNoIVIDk8sevaULZ0q37UWPf3c/edit?usp=sharing


REQUEST: Can you help me by providing ideas on how I can add more details to the middle of my story?



]]> 2025-09-09 21:11:28 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576771524 "All Alone" -Taylor ttomas1975 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576796159 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wkrToWWhelDwEMTdP2xdPmsgl_YYtoKvSblDDAFh1mk/edit?tab=t.tk3f7dwpej5y


My request: Any snapshots or thoughtshots I can add to make my story bigger? I want my story to be a bit more engaging for others to read.

]]> 2025-09-09 21:48:02 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576796159 " Explorations Ho'omaka'ika'i gkaopua2126 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576819559 REQUEST: Did my snapshots really explode the moment? Or do I need to add more detail? Or were my snapshots really clear enough

Did my ending really finish it and conclude it? Or doesn't need to be clearer and more detailed.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/177soi-zBtX7m8UVvUq1t94p1NqzCX09gWpkH30Ehgho/edit?usp=sharing

]]> 2025-09-09 22:26:41 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576819559 Big Island- Maverick mnatividad7302 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576825513 Request: How can I make my hook better. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HeqBX_KGC2MyAoxxEaTPTWRqtrPsN47XAi6G3LcEQTc/edit?tab=t.tk3f7dwpej5y

]]> 2025-09-09 22:37:38 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576825513 'Ziplining'-Jonah Wilkins jwilkins4604 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576833476 Here's the link,

https://docs.google.com/document/d/10UARDX8XwZodt_odkLfMd6lN36-quZnpk8ZJW9_Z1fs/edit?tab=t.tk3f7dwpej5y

Request:

My hook is not that exciting. Can anyone help with that?

]]> 2025-09-09 22:50:39 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576833476 "slowly drowning" sydney berry sberry3923 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576838211 https://docs.google.com/document/d/10IiexSP1YSAj08gWsS4eEOtfRPj4p4nz2gGetg0iaKc/edit?tab=t.tk3f7dwpej5y



REQUEST~ can you please help me make more though shots? or give me ways i can make my story longer?

]]> 2025-09-09 22:58:00 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576838211 "The Surprise" - Milan G. mguzman4070 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576847080

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jqaEnyV-pI83pt8fxivRc_2gwvXooykH_phFR1HlZI8/edit?tab=t.tk3f7dwpej5y


Request- My ending is short, so I would like some ideas on how to end it better, and I forgot to mention in the video, but I would also like feedback for my hook.


]]> 2025-09-09 23:10:49 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576847080 "Awakening of determination" Naomi nfujimoto1744 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576853984 Feedback Request: I would like to make my turning point clearer and add more snapshots because I have multiple thought shots. Also I would like to create a better title.


The link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jV-bESk0GkJcztZ9vSw3lSX76KXVlnpRUEU7U5Nl0Ag/edit?usp=sharing

]]> 2025-09-09 23:19:54 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576853984 First Robotics Tournament - Aiden areyes4730 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576899638 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aCRrYil9EYcUBS2Z6IXEGfhQIJjtAss2F2KmGOC7p9c/edit?tab=t.tk3f7dwpej5y


Request: I feel like my ending part is too short, only being 1 sentence. Can you help me make it longer

]]> 2025-09-10 00:01:26 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576899638 "Breaking a Barrier" By Kendall Bloom kbloom3896 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576907973 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rBARvoK21XbgijBdunFkjoelXsfXDjn9e3YSGNVmBEo/edit?tab=t.tk3f7dwpej5y


Request for feedback: I think my ending reflection on my turning point 2nd draft was a little short. Do you think I should incorporate my ending reflection from my first draft into my current reflection? Or should I just make my reflection clearer?

I am open to the suggestions that you guys have for me.

]]> 2025-09-10 00:07:44 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3576907973 Scared of the Stage - Makana kcravalho8657_ https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3577016594 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mjohJIVaply2l6Bo17UisrTq5O6vtjR8CEOBTtsaLAc/edit?usp=sharing


Request: I need help on how I can incorporate a snapshot into the middle of my story so that it is a little more exciting.

]]> 2025-09-10 01:05:02 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3577016594 my writing right now jpagharion4207 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3577100838 I am looking for feed back on a better hook and anything else to add more https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GAURfFnk2hPAXNhJIufsynzIJncvMiepsUYLAxVtS6k/edit?tab=t.tk3f7dwpej5y

]]> 2025-09-10 01:42:00 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3577100838 "Wings of Opportunities" - Kamu kpaoa8677 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3577628120 Drafts

I am looking for ways or suggestions I could improve my hook sentence, cause it doesn't seem interesting or engaging to the reader, it's almost kind of dry. Any feedback to help would be appreciated!

]]> 2025-09-10 06:42:02 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3577628120 "My Soccer Journey" -Mila Ickes marcanoickes1804 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3578896199 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1v0StrlHPZFW0IYX5wWZ19yLwuHwPYqiD4l8fw07hWwM/edit?usp=sharing

REQUEST: My ending is a bit short, so I was wondering if I need more details, and my other request is how I can add more snapshots and thoughtshots. Can you also give me suggestions on stronger hooks for my story?

]]> 2025-09-10 23:02:18 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3578896199 "crash of the waves" By Lilly Berry lberry2073 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3578896395 Request~ please give me feedback on my hook and how could I make my righting shorter?

Link-https://docs.google.com/document/d/1mvu71r-esur3YGSfD08Ee-D_eTqQHSq-eshS-Fe8Vl0/edit?usp=sharing

]]> 2025-09-10 23:02:39 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3578896395 The surprised happened kichimura3565 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3578896996 Request: I need help on a stronger ending. And can you help me on a stronger hook to bring more into action.https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TJtWsllIJCE6vPraT3fC1Jz91415k7X0Nhu8XoLST4A/edit?tab=t.tk3f7dwpej5y

]]> 2025-09-10 23:03:42 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3578896996 "My First Lunch" by Jake jduropan3560 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3578897057 REQUEST: What can I remove from my writing to make it shorter? Are there any details that I don't need to include? Are there any details I should extend?


https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uCipZYBB2EKca3tQTVrkSYDpBs2YhXdLyCcwsO2xv60/edit?usp=sharing

(Make sure to go to the second draft.)

]]> 2025-09-10 23:03:48 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3578897057 "The First Move" - Albert amclaren3160 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3578898480 Can I have help with the turning point paragraph in the middle (it's highlighted). Ty yall!


https://docs.google.com/document/d/158X_IfIYd9yimEXALI61Oix6L4AJrN2McSo__xCGHyw/edit?tab=t.tk3f7dwpej5y

]]> 2025-09-10 23:06:06 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3578898480 Lights, Camera, Action! - Mira Lavarias mlavarias4367 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3579512878 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lnmaklfC6ShLi8o7q0qP8LRAKd1No-rV/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=111764002666150438401&rtpof=true&sd=true


Go to Second Draft please:


Request: could you please provide any tips or suggestions on how I can improve my essay? I feel my ending is a bit short and my grammar could be better overall. thanks


]]> 2025-09-11 04:50:45 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3579512878 "Goals" -Makz mwong0916 https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3579634126 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ln3KSyUVz4c0HdshI_QkpKY0IAHhL-3mBkufynG5lSo/edit?tab=t.0


My request- Please tell me if I need any adjustments and my hooks.

]]> 2025-09-11 05:58:55 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3579634126 "Content creation" -James https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3581383815 https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UnMmmlqeRCTG3-4GkK0il8PlEPBudsUV2BcJzM1bDCg/edit?usp=sharing

REQUEST: Could you help me with making a hook in the beginning, so that the readers get intrigued with what their reading and start wanting to read more?

]]> 2025-09-12 03:43:11 UTC https://padlet.com/englishhta/g7tdtsog1wbjj1g6/wish/3581383815