Dear Friend Zero... by Angel Valerio

I lowkey thought you were annoying at first LOL

amcvalerio — 2020-08-20 05:06:22 UTC

I met Joel in grad school, specifically our Ed Psych 101 class. I remember he would sometimes come to class late and randomly interject himself into conversations I was having with other classmates to tell us about a super LA restaurant we should go to. I remember thinking, TF you don't know me/why are you talking to me? haha! I don't exactly know how but we ended up smoking weed driving around Westwood in between classes on Fridays and then Joel thought I was cool enough to hang out at the Berendo house. I brought along Xtina in case shit got weird that night and it did... we went to Harvard and Stone where Mo dropped his glass like 3x on the floor and we almost got kicked out and then went to Little Temple for the first time and basically got so faded we ended up sleeping at Berendo that night. All in all, we spent lots of ratchet nights romping around LA with the whippers and Joel introduced me to Little Dragon, Kendrick Lamar, and basically every cool music artist I know and cool LA thing because Joel be knowing like that.

<3 Angel

~Destined~

2020-08-20 06:29:20 UTC

It was the end of the Korean war...wait, no, that's not right. It was the early '80s on the Monterey Peninsula...no, not it either. Okay, it's the early 2000s and we are both at UC Davis hanging with our mutual friends, Dre and Mo Porter...? Nope. Not then.
THEN WHEN?!
--It's a week before TEP starts and I get a FB message from a stranger named Joel, saying we have mutual friends, and we are about to be in the same cohort at UCLA. Let's link up, he says. So we exchange information.

--The first day of SCHOOL I get a text message at lunch time being like, "Hey where are you? you coming to graduate school, you know that big thing you signed up for?!" from Joel. A part of me died right there because of course I was coming, I just had the days mixed up and I was late. On the first day. I ran over to class as fast as I could, making it just in time for the afternoon session.

Reflecting on this now, I see, so clearly, that this is the ESSENCE of a Joel friendship. The care, the concern, the accountability, and above all, the love. So freely, so naturally. So thanks, dear friend, for always checking in on me; for feeding my heart with good food, and my soul with good music, and my life with great memories, and helping me to become a better person than when you found me.

...and also for inviting me to Christina's birthday dinner party (lol did she know you invited me?!) where I then wiggled my way into the friend group.
xo,
dP

Siam Sunset

2020-08-20 12:49:23 UTC

My advisor decided to have a happy hour mingle with another cohort at the iconically wack Palominos in Westwood. I remember getting somehow stuck next to this hapa guy on a bench near the window and after he found out I’m Thai and grew up around Thai Town, proceeds to list his favorite Thai restaurants in Thai Town as if he was schooling ME?! I decided to never talk to this person again. Fast forward a year later and I happen to start working at the same school as him. In the meantime my new friend Angel invites me to hang out with his crew on an infamous night on a LA rooftop with a hot tub and I’m further convinced I shouldn’t interact with these people again.

However, at work I started to see Joel truly connecting with students, especially through math of all subjects! He offered supportive and kind words and advice when I was struggling. He talked to students I was having trouble with. He was hella persistent about inviting folks to hang out and de-stress. Eventually I realized Joel is not only hella smart, clever and fun but kind, supportive and like the brother I never had and always wanted. <3

I learned I could become fat because of you

2020-08-20 15:33:06 UTC

Who would've thought Gordovez could be so prophetic when he mentioned how fat we would mutually get living together for a year. But I suppose weekly dinners of Fuji's, Village Bakery pizza, and the occasional Salumi binges would eventually add up. I have a memory of that year living together, amidst your poli-sci rants and unprompted dropping of sports trivia -- you casually mentioning that you were always good at math, liked math, so you might pursue doing math (I don't specifically recall if you tied the idea of teaching into it at the time). That memory sticks out because I remember being caught off guard and internally thinking how much of a dork you were.

Don't get to see you enough but I think back to that memory almost yearly, laughing about that casual comment of yours, and the trajectory you followed that has brought you to where you are now -- and in the process, all these great people together that would've never otherwise found each other.

You've done so many genuinely amazing things in the years (which frankly I'm not going to even mention and let get to your head) but I will acknowledge your gift to bring people together. In an alternate universe you could've been a recruiter for a cult, or a hapa Ghislaine Maxwell. Thank god you didn't. Wow this took an unintentional dark turn. [Angel you can delete those last few sentences or just sharpie over the printed version]

For being unequivocally and authentically you. For bringing so many damn good people together. Much love to you brother, happy birthday.

2020-08-20 17:02:50 UTC

EXT. WANG PENTHOUSE ROOFTOP - NIGHT

It’s dimly lit. A small gathering, most are sitting on reclining pool-side chairs. Laughter echoes off the surrounding buildings.

TITLE CARD: “Downtown Los Angeles, 2011”

CAMERA pans to a hot tub. A long-haired man, MO LI (20s) is singing to himself as he is just getting out of the water. He lays down next to a silhouette whose feet are dangling in the water, RYAN MAH (30s). They are both naked.

CAMERA DOLLIES in on Mo, then past him. Zooming slowly, settling on a face barely illuminated by the nearby glow from the hot tub, TUSSANEE REEDBOON (20s). In the background behind her, beautiful faces in various expressions shock, confusion, arousal, and disgust

RECORD SCRATCH

FREEZE FRAME on Tussanee, her mouth agape.

TUSSANEE
(voiceover)

Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation

Former Gaylord

2020-08-20 20:39:02 UTC

Joel:
I still remember returning home from a summer trip to Costa Rica with my brother and seeing your Harry Potter looking ass walking down the street in Los Feliz. We exchanged numbers and the next thing I know, I’m sneaking into a Vice party at a Silverlake Mexican restaurant and getting black out drunk on Colt 45.

Obviously my life has continued to spiral downward since then, but you’re still the type of friend I’d let into the bathroom first when we are both violently ill from a Mission Bowling Burger.

Thanks for showing me all the delicious eats, wearing the same clothes, passing on music, and letting me be the small spoon that one night. Good luck with the rest of grad school and I won’t even be mad at you if you decide to make 300k as a data scientist for a Chinese spyware company. Love you buddy

Ryan Mah

Go Aggies!

2020-08-21 20:08:11 UTC

My friend from the UCD days! I can’t pin point our exact first meeting but it was probably sometime in 2002/2003 at someone’s spot at Sharps & Flats or somewhere out in Mace? A random house party or smoke sesh? Whatever the case, I def bought weed from you (or made someone else do it because I was too scared to) and we def have gone to multiple raves together (including buying bunk tickets at Bill Graham). Fast forward to 2011 where we reconnected when I moved to LA and you introduced me to the whippersnapper crew! Joel, wishing you the happiest birthday. Grateful we’ve developed this beautiful friendship and proud of you and your accomplishments!

XOXO, Vi

Weed, duh

okayamawang — 2020-08-21 21:43:54 UTC

I’m pretty sure we were smoking weed behind the coffee house, smoking weed at your apartment, or smoking weed at the arboretum. I don’t remember. It’s been kind of hazy since we met, and I have you to thank for that.

What is crystal clear, though, is how I’ve come to see you as the brother I’ve always wanted. A brother who has had his ups and downs and yet has always been there with a shot + beer; who hung out in my apartment when I’d otherwise be working alone on weekends; who cared for his students with such empathy that they and their parents still think of him; and who has the perfect frame for a little spoon (you smell nice when you’re sleeping Joel).

We’re family now. As family, I’ll always be there for you, and I know you’ll be there for me...when I’m old, senile and shitting myself. I love you brother.

- peter

Trap Elbows and Medusa Lounge

2020-08-21 22:07:52 UTC

Hi Joel! I honestly do not remember the first time I met you. I feel like by the time I was hanging out in this group you were already a permanent fixture and people talked about you so casually like “everyone’s knows joel, duh.” So I just went along with it.

With that said I do have some memories that stick out when I think of you. As mentioned in the title, the trap elbows just seem to be very vivid for me. Medusa Lounge also comes to mind Lolol. I remember going with Christina and meeting you there! I also remember bringing hot Cheetos to hicksville and you saying “that’s so ratchet.”

You’re a solid person, you do great shit and even tho I don’t talk to you everyday I hella respect you and think highly of you. I def think of LEO season as well. Happy birthday!!!!

Meli G

I would have probably loved LA a little less back then if it weren't for you

2020-08-21 23:09:06 UTC

Ok so my HS bff Megan was in town and we were out I think at Golden Gopher with LAD coworkers, including GB. We were just hanging out chatting and then I become more and more distracted and aware of these hooligans behind me (I think it was mainly Mo being loud and ridiculous and obnoxious, but more in an intriguing, endearing way than an annoying one). At some point I'm pretty sure I turned around to confront y'all like who ARE you guys?? (It was you, Mo, and Ryan). Or maybe it was Mo instigating convo. Either way, def remember asking who the hell y'all were lol. Only later did I realize that you were around us because you were Gabe's friends hahaha.

Anyways I thought you guys were awesome and we made friends and ended up hanging out with you guys the rest of the night. We went back to Mo's loft and kept partying. I remember at some point there was a story time circle about one of Mo's acid trips. In the elevator he invited me to a 4some with him and Elba and whoever my boyfriend was lol I was like Gabe's friends are wild. I remember me and Megan were talking about how great you guys were, but being like man, except that Ryan dude, bc we were so dismayed by him he seemed like a horrible person in a very odd way he must have been wasted I've only seen Ryan be that egregious when very drunk which was so funny later on because Ryan is such a sweet, lovely person. Who would just turn into a monster at the alcohol cap.

Oh shit I guess that wasn't so much about you. I guess I don't remember much of our interaction that night but I for sure thought you were hella cool. And we continued to hang out. Such fond memories I have of those days. I guess more like nights. Hanging out around downtown and ktown, always looking for the after party (esp Sal), taking y'all back to my apt for more drinks and weed, and meeting more and more of this amazing group of people. I'm so fucking honored you thought I was cool enough to make part of this crew. And thankful. Even if you were just trying to get at me back then. Now you stuck with me fool.

Happiest of birthdays, friend! You are an amazing, beautiful soul. So excited you'll be living in LA again soon. Remember in NY when you told me I'd get fat when I move back to CA because I'm old now and won't have the NY city life and stairs to keep me fit? You've been here for a few weeks and I already feel a backlog accruing of delicious Joel recommendations to try. Just know that you are contributing to this prophesied fat buildup.

<3<3<3
MChoi

P.S. It was pretty distracting writing this while a background army of Joel teletubbies stared vacantly out at me.

NBA handclaps

2020-08-22 00:24:50 UTC

I for sure met Joel through Maian but I can’t recall when. It might have been at the roaring 20’s party when I met everyone or it could have been back when Maian was in WeHo. What I specifically remembering the first time I met Joel was that I thought he was so cool and must be a player with ladies. I was like, “this dude is smart, funny, mixed and likes to party so he must get all the ladies.” It didn’t take me long to realize that while he was smart and funny, he was definitely not a player and didn’t get all the ladies. Over time, I continued to party with Joel and Maian and eventually they introduced me to our loving family. Joel and I even have our own NBA style handclap. But without Joel, I never would have met BTC and my wife. Happy birthday Joel!

- BTran

I suck at writing

2020-08-22 01:57:30 UTC

Happy birthday, Joel!! Damn, I can’t remember where we met...was it at Ryan’s house? It doesn’t matter because it feels like I’ve known you for a long time. You instantly became my brother. Thank you for the love you’ve shown me. Looking forward to the day when we can go eat kbbq and drink soju and beer until we get sick. I would write more but I’m hella tired. Can’t wait to see you in person. Love you!!! ~Jun

Tales of a Davis Ratchet Past

2020-08-22 02:50:04 UTC

Scene: House party, Davis CA circa 2002-2003. Maian arrives with a gang of cute chicks, Joel and his buddies approach. "Where yall from?" they ask. Maian and her homies scream "209 BITCHES!!!!!!" Joel replies "uuuuh ok" and backs away slowly. And here is where a tale of so many friendships, memories (remembered and not) springs to life. I can't even begin to recount our rich and ratchet past, but I can only hope that the good times roll and that we continue to build this empire of solid bonds with the best peeps. I love you, friend!!

<3 <3 <3 <3
Maian