Wandering Wanderer by Cassandra Mae Tabita

NOTE!

2022101967 — 2023-09-15 13:39:22 UTC

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2022101967 — 2023-09-15 13:40:27 UTC

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ―Theodore Roosevelt.

2023-09-18 03:23:49 UTC

I wish to have a better family environment

2023-09-18 04:04:26 UTC

I miss you so much, My C.BGR! I am always praying for you and I know you do too. I know God is in control, take good care always and know that I am here for you no matter what. I love you! 💗 Thank you for instilling in me, how precious I am just like a diamond—of a great price and value. Puhon!

2023-09-18 08:22:37 UTC

Do you ever get scared of being happy, just because of the thought that something might happen afterwards that could take back all the happiness you felt.

2023-09-18 09:00:18 UTC

Hoping to find the love I truly deserve, even if it takes a hundred years. I will patiently wait for it.

Bossing

2023-09-18 09:35:18 UTC

I’ve always built myself as the strong and emotionally independent person—

I’ve always had my ways around problems— alone.

I’ve always had my walls up high and above.

I’ve always held my guard and did not let anyone in.

I never knew love ‘til I was serving as a leader, and I never knew love ‘til the day I’ve realized that I’ll stand by you unconditionally even if you will never love me nor see me as the same as you are hers, and you will never be mine.

You’re not a possession in the beginning, but an event in life that I wish I get to spend with for the rest of eternity.

You make my world less lonely, less chaotic, but ironically a dangerous sight of hope that may one day diminish.

Song recommendations

2023-09-18 10:00:28 UTC

Just wanted to share a song for those people who are still wondering around

Wondering - olivia rodrigo & julia segura

2023-09-18 10:59:57 UTC

Not really happy but I don't wanna die

2023-09-18 11:01:42 UTC

I hope that this is just a bad dream, but it isn’t, this is a reality that I have to face. Mas masakit pala yung ipinagpalit kayo ng tatay mo sa iba kaysa sa siyang pinagpalit din ako sa iba.

Lost

2023-09-18 11:21:39 UTC

Naliligaw ako at nagtataka. Masaya naman kasi sa friend group namin, laughs, serious talks, and everything under the sun. Pero is it okay na parang I can't be my full self around them? Na-realize ko na hindi pala maganda na you have your circle agad kasi as the days go by, doon n'yo palang nakikita yung differences and yung mga bagay na ayaw n'yo sa isa't isa. Tapos feeling n'yo when you open it, mamasamain kaya hinahayaan na lang. But ayon. sobrang hirap na parang you're acting for the sake of the friend group, tapos you can't fully trust them pa, nagdadalawang-isip ka pa to share. Hirap lang.

What was I made for?

2023-09-18 11:30:59 UTC

I did not end up with my chosen course, and was forced to take a course that I never took interest of, kasi walang pang-tuition.

First month pa lang, pero I already feel so tired. Dagdag pa yung competitive air sa section namin, since everyone are eager to get high scores in order to shift, kasi halos lahat kami ganito yung case.

it's suffocating

2023-09-18 11:32:03 UTC

I never wanted anyone to suggest that I was wrong all along. That I'm doing everything I believed in, for the sake of the wrong people.

I hated it when people get hurt by me, because sometimes I genuinely try to make decisions that will benefit them. Was it a mistake? Was I, a mistake?

I never wanted anything before. I lived like a robot who you can order around, and will even thank you for it.

being a "gifted child" is a thing I didn't want

2023-09-18 11:35:02 UTC

because then, people think that it's natural for you. That you don't cry every single night. That you don't give it your all just to be what people think you are.

the praises were nice and motivating, but it shackled me and kept me into a box full of expectations and gazes of other people. and it's hard to try and maintain it

2023-09-18 11:47:31 UTC

Hey Zach Tanghal, I'm not sure if you'll see this, but I wanted to tell you how much I admire you. Let's chat again soon!
-❤︎

2023-09-18 11:47:56 UTC

All good things must come to an end, it is a shitty thing to say na I want everything to end or maybe the right word is to end everything. I do not know if I'm doing this for attention or just doing it because I need help. I want to be happy at least once. I am slowly slipping and losing who I really am. I do not know what I'm saying all I know is that everything was fun until it isn't.

Having a toxic family is hard

2023-09-18 11:59:26 UTC

_{You will face your problem on your own. All they can see is your achievements but they cant see your hardships. They think because you have many achievements, you are already smart, they think you can do everything. If you mess up even just a little bit, they will say, "I thought you were smart". Instead of making life easier, they only add to the pressure. Its just tiring to deal with that kind of people everyday.}

2023-09-18 12:17:21 UTC

I miss you so much, kaso parang hindi mo ko miss :<

_Emz

2023-09-18 13:36:33 UTC

If we ever cross paths again, please say hello and keep in mind the memories that we have created together. I purple you my Home. I still consider it a blessing that you entered my life, and I will always treasure that. Take care of yourself, but know that I'm here to help Miss Independent if you ever need me.

2023-09-18 14:32:14 UTC

☁️ — sometimes, i think i treat my sadness as too much of a holy and incomprehensible thing to distance myself from it. at the core, it’s here . . . and it’s mine.

lucifer

2023-09-18 14:34:03 UTC

grabeee. exactly one year ago, nag cross yung path namin through our friend. hanggang sa nagkakaroon na ng small interactions sa fb HAHAHAHAHA. from strangers, we became friends. good friends actually because he became my person. hanggang sa umabot sa point na nagka aminan. may mga tutol, pero firm tayo noon na mag stay sa company ng isa't isa. nung una naging mahirap at masakit yung desisyon ko na yon personally kasi i felt like nawalan ako ng friends? which is the reason why i felt left out sa room namin. but as time passed by, i realized na i wasnt wrong na mag stay kasi you made me feel loved in a way that nobody else can.

kaninag umaga, nasa isip ko, "one year na pala magmula ng nakilala kita" tapos naisip ko, pumasok din kaya sa isip mo na one year ago, nakilala mo ako. hanggang sa makarating ako sa campus ganon tumatakbo sa isip ko. relapse malala.

hanggang sa bigla kitang nakita unexpectedly sa labas pa mismo ng room namin. parang tinusok puso ko nung nakita kita. naisip ko non, nakita mo rin kaya ako?

anway, baliw talaga tong tadhana eh. de ang astig kasi, sept 18, 2022 nagkakilala tayo, naging magkaibigan, tapos nagkamabutihan, and syempre nagkalabuan hahahahhaaha. tapos sept 18, 2023 nagkita ulit. grabe, isang taon na pala nakalipas. kumusta ka na kaya? nakakamiss.

hindi pa pala ako nakakapag sorry sayo. alam kong alam mo na galit ako sayo pero pinapatawad na kita. hindi ko lang masabi sayo pero napatawad na kita. ako naman hihingi ng sorry ngayon hehehe.

sorry sa lahat, i genuinely wish you happiness. sana lahat ng desires mo ay ma-achieve mo by God's grace. alam kong malabo mo naman to mabasa pero alam kong nasaktan din kita, sure ako don. hindi ko na hihilingin na mapatawad mo ako ang gusto ko lang makita kang masaya (real).

kumusta mo na lang ako kay meiji.

THE IDEA OF NEW

2023-09-18 14:41:04 UTC

I love discovering new things. I usually look forward to every new possible things, but I forgot that new things have challenges along with it.

I'm a freshman and having a new environment where I could explore things is a dream for me. I've joined 2 organization already including this MHC, but I'm not satisfied. I'm an honor student in my whole senior high school. I'm not really a competitive person, but rather I'm competing with myself. Lately I feel so drained with the thoughts that why my college life is not progressing at all? I can't even apply my learning style and it's actually frustrating. I had 2 quizzes already 1 from ny major although I got a passing score it doesn't make me happy anymore. I'm used to having almost perfect scores and now seeing my scores pakiramdam ko "pasang awa" lang yon. I don't feel happy at all.

I'm having a hard time reviewing my notes because like what I've said I can't apply my learning style and things are draining me. I have my goals to be part of dl and be a laude. 🧿 But I feel like I'm still detached from reality. I hate myself for not doing my best and aiming for higher. I feel like things aren't enough. I'm scared to have line of 8 or 2 sa card. I don't want to dissapoint myself and yes I'm scared that people who used to see me having high grades would gossip me for having low grades.

2023-09-18 14:41:38 UTC

grabe miss na miss na kita. sana makarating to sayong message ko. magparamdam ka naman oh. alam mo ba nung birthday ko, kahit na alam kong malabo, ineexpect ko talagang babatiin mo ko pero hindi eh hahahahhaja.

MHC

2023-09-18 14:44:28 UTC

I want to function as a member, but I'm having a hard time looking for a chance to volunteer. I mean i have no idea sa mga events or even sa links na sinesend kaya kahit gusto ko tumulong di ako familiar sa works na hinahanap niyo. Now pakiramdam ko ang useless ko and hindi talaga ako member. Gusto ko sana itanong if ano function nung position na to ganyan ganto pero ayoko namamn mag mukhang high maintenance. Kaya minsan kapag may docs umaasa ako na may explanation each position kasi wala talaga ako idea. Gusto ko mag gain ng experience pero since wala ako idea sa ginagawa niyo pakiramdam ko di ako mag ffunction as a member.

A lost soul

2023-09-18 14:51:45 UTC

After a 7 traumatizing months of relationship that was 2 years ago, i’m still a lost soul.

I want to commit into relationships, met people who share the same vibes and humor as me but, I’m still scared, scared of hurting myself, losing someone, and scared of being used again.

I became someone who I don’t want to be. When meeting new people, I’ll flirt with them, pero I’m making myself clear na I still have issues and problems in me, that I can’t take risks.

and after awhile, when I can sense na may nararamdaman na sila, I’ll ghost them. I also feel something, but I’m always scared na baka maulit lang yung nangyari dati. The ghost of the past is still clinging on to my soul.

I’m not proud when I do this, masakit din sya sa side ko kasi mahirap sa akin yun. Imagine, 4 months of talking and meeting with each other and tinapos ko dahil natakot ako?

How can I free myself from this prison that holding me captive for such a long time?

How can I fill the emptiness in me? The emptiness that keeping me in place, guarding me to death?

To someone I truly miss

2023-09-18 14:59:25 UTC

I've got so much to feel yet so few words to say. I ran out of adjectives trying to describe this void that you left me with, trying to describe the level of hurt my heart is suffering right now, and trying to describe the times when I felt like I was flying and falling at the same time. Yet I still try my best. To make poems. To turn my emotions into letters. To search for a noun that could name what we once were. Because I thought we could become a sentence. Complete, structured, and clear. But we were the opposite. The letters are jumbled, and the terms are floating all over the place. It was hard trying to stitch the ideas all together. I put forth my best effort, but all I could manage is to make fragments. Open-ended, incomplete, and vague. I wish I could put a punctuation on this. But honestly, I think it's better this way. To not know how things ended or if they ever did. Maybe I'm better left wondering.

Ps. I hope u dream of me tonight 😘. Miss u so much even if u don't miss me💔

🌻

anonymous1842 — 2023-09-18 15:03:36 UTC

I want you to know how much I appreciate your existence. I thank the world every day for being kind to me, for allowing us to share this same space and time. You make me feel happy, excited, and giggly whenever you're around.
We were groupmates for research last year, second semester. You did something that unconsciously made me smile and say thank you. I can't help but be drawn to your calm and gentle demeanor. When I look into your bright eyes and feel your warmth, I am inspired to smile at everything.
May this feeling keep me warm for a long time.🌻🌻🌻

MILLER

2023-09-18 15:30:13 UTC

Hi Miller! I know few lang interactions natin sa school but I really admire how you do things. Lalo na kapag nakikita kita na back and forth sa campus bcoz you are really a busy person. I just want you to know na crush pa rin kita until now. Hindi mo naman kasi ako nireject and until now hindi ko alam kung paano ako mag first mive kasi nga nappreciate mi lang ako. Nevertheless, I hope life would always be good to you. I’m always here.

I.M

Why?

2023-09-18 17:18:24 UTC

I want to know the reason why I’m still alive. Yes, I’m thriving and improving as the day goes by. But I can't stay afloat on the surging tides as if a force restricts me to swim and then die. Why can't I have my own smooth sailing?

FRIENDS

2023-09-18 17:19:54 UTC

I really have no plan to have circle na. More likely casual friends na lang ganon or yung kakilala sa org. As much as possible I want to avoid circle. Natuto na ako and ayoko maulit yung bad experience ko sa circle. Now I have people with me na nakakasama ko everyday sa campus. Ayoko mag give in agad and ayoko talaga ma connect sakanila. Kung school lang school lang sana. Ayoko maging unfair na baka tingin nila we're friends na pero tingin ko sakanila nakakasama lang. Natatakot kasi ako na maging comfy na namam ako tapos mabetray na naman.

APPRECIATION FOR KUYA

2023-09-18 17:24:28 UTC

This is purely appreciation lang po kay Kuya na nag guitar last time yung matangkad na kulot. First encounter ko sakanya is yung sa earthquake drill na tinawag niyang "aniger" yung ate na name ay regina kaya nagulat mga kasamahan niya.

Then the second one is yun nga nung nag guitar siya. Nasa baba kasi kami non and my classmates waiting for their turn sa pag kanta. Na observe ko lang small gesture niya non nung napiyok kaklase ko or parang nahihiya kaya hihinto sinasabi niya lagi is "okay lang okay lang" nakakatuwa na inaassure niya yung mga nag participate kumanta.

So random pero natutuwa lang talaga ako kasi alam ko na yung simple affirm na yon nag pa boost sa confidence nung nakanta. He seems to be nice and fun to be with po. Yun lang have a blessed day kuya!

Let's Write About This Night

2023-09-18 21:12:22 UTC

Hundreds of times I've seen meteors appear in the night sky, but none of my wishes came true.
They said, I deserve someone better, but ended up being expectant for nothing, when I found one.

Why does the best things I knew that could ever happen to me, always falls on the opposite direction?

I just realize that, even a shooting star has to leave it's universe, once it's burned out. No matter how mutual the feeling is, when it never meets in the place called love, it only leaves your heart a slash of memories.

A piece of advice from the unknown, be who you are, let the gravity of sadness pulls you down in your solitude, there's nothing we can do but to let our emotions rage. Remember you're like a sea, after you rage along the storm, destructing who come nears you, and once you calm down, people will come back anyway to see how beautiful you are. But keep in mind, those who stays are the real friends, don't push them again with your waves away from you.

For my not so little star

2023-09-18 21:25:41 UTC

A year has passed but the girl was still inlove with the guy that she meet when she was in senior year, she did all her best just to go to the same university with that guy they have a conversation with each other but the girl was too scared to confess her feelings. This girl was scared of being rejected that's why she keep quiet for a year. She promise to her self that when she got accepted to the university she will confess to that guy, the girl got accepted to that university but sadly the guy moved to another school.

Thank you my not so little star for being my motivation kaya ako naka pasok sa BulSU, i may not have the courage to confess to you but i already know your answer, please do the things that can make you happy and I will always be admiring you from a far, mananatili pa rin akong number 1 fan mo sayang nga lang kung dito ka pa rin sana nag aaral edi sana sinisipag ako mag aral, eme lang basta don't stress yourself too much and goodluck sa studies mo kaya mo 'yan lagi akong naniniwala sa 'yo kahit na walang bilib sa 'yo nandito pa rin ako kahit anong taboy mo di ako aalis, nakikita ko mga post mo sa twitter at threads alam kong napapagod ka na gaya nga ng sabi ko kung natatandaan mo pa "Remember that giving up is not an option; continuing is, live your life fullest and just rest yourself kung napapagod ka kasi pag sumuko ka wala kang mapapakain sa future anak ko HAHAHAHA" goodluck my future educator sana makita mo 'tong message ko ^_^
-RR

P.S: computer engineering sya dito noong first year sya that's why i tried to pursue that course although educ talaga ang dream course ko pero napadpad ako dito ngayon sa AS HAHAHAHA

BAND

2023-09-19 03:49:06 UTC

Hi there, CSSP Band! I really enjoy your open mic and busking last friday ^^ I grew to like some of the members and I envy y’all so much. I always have this dream to be a part of a band and I’m actually hoping na makakapasok ako sa CSSP Band kasi I can feel the passion sa band.

I remember when it is my turn na para mag-sing and namali ako sa pagpasok, y’all really helped me overcome my fears hshwhshwjsjwsh inuulit-ulit ko ‘yung video para makita ‘yung mga facial expression niyo para ituloy ko ‘yung song.

Yes I auditioned, but unfortunately, hindi ako natanggap but it’s fine! Siguro hindi pa ‘to time for me hehehe. For now, I will choose to support y’all, the CSSP Band from afar. <3

shout out po kay naomi, dexter, gerrie, zandra, dale, and jericho! 💜

Motivation

2023-09-19 23:18:13 UTC

When you are not feeling good enough, just try your best to remind yourself how far you have come. Start paying attention to what you are, rather than what you aren't. Start paying attention to the things you have, rather than the things you don't. Remind yourself that you are someone's favorite human being. Remind yourself that you have overcome the most hurtful and haunted aspects of life. Remind yourself that while sometimes your journey may feel like it is being weathered by circumstance or difficulty, while there are going to be days where the dark and the doubt crack within the soul of you you have defeated those days before. And as simple as that may sound, it is important to remind yourself of the strength you have fostered, it is important to remind yourself that the things you thought would once destroy or bury you never had the capacity to do so. There is worth in that strength. There is worth in that growth. It will always exist within you, even when you cannot feel it. ❣️

We always have a choice. It is up to you whether you give up or keep going. Your life is under your power. Remember that giving up is not an option; continuing is. Live your life with enjoyment, because that is how it should be. Take it easy. ILY!

Grateful ✨

2023-09-19 23:35:50 UTC

I just wanted to share and to inspire. Hey there, to anyone who would be able to read this.

Teach yourself to be grateful even in the simplest things you receive. "A grateful heart is a magnet of miracles" eventually you'll see more good things happening in your life. Always be kind, eventhough the world is unfair... even the people around you dont appreciate but there's one Who always see the goodness in you and you'll be rewarded by that. I am proud of you for doing what is good and right!! ✨✨✨ God Bless you!

i'm not okay and i'm tired.

2023-09-20 01:32:09 UTC

i really don't know how to say this because i'm tired and i'm about to give up na. hindi ko na alam paano ako babangon sa umaga, paano ako lalaban para sa panibagong pag asa. dahil matagal ko nang gustong sukuan kahit mismo ang buhay ko, lalo na ngayon na ako nalang mag isa ang lumalaban. ang hirap kasi kahit sino walang may alam ng hirap na pinag dadaanan ko, lahat ako, lahat kinikimkim ko nalang sa sarili ko. bakit may makakaintindi ba? kahit ata mismong magulang ko hindi ako maiintindihan. hindi ako pumasok ngayon, dahil hindi ko talaga kaya. mag mula kaninang pag gising ko umiiyak lang ako, sobrang bigat ng puso ko. nasaktan ko nanaman ang sarili ko. buti nalang andito kayo, kahit konti pakiramdam ko may nakaintindi sakin, may kasama ako. pero sa tutuo lang, hindi ko na rin alam.

:<

2023-09-20 05:29:43 UTC

I'm slowly losing my motivation, and it scares me.

shifting...

2023-09-20 13:45:28 UTC

i am still starting with my program but because of my chosen program (not really the program/course i want to take!!!) i am feeling lost.

i don't know what to do... i am afraid to tell my parents that the starting journey they wanted me to take was on the brink of failing.

i am afraid to tell them that i don't want this and i wanted to shift my program right away, but i don't have the courage yet because i am afraid they will tell me about all the money they spent on me...

what should i do...

2023-09-20 16:08:33 UTC

I'm so fvcking tired I'm just a first year but the pressure is so aaahhhh i just want to pursue my dreams but I'm not in the right course i badly want to be an educator someday not an statistician

2023-09-20 16:08:48 UTC

Tired asf but still doing my best

2023-09-20 17:50:09 UTC

Struggling but striving!

With Friends Yet Lonely

2023-09-21 07:06:07 UTC

It's not that they're bad friends. In fact, they're good people and some happy moments exist because of them. It's just that we grow with separate likes and interest. But I'm that type of friend with an ability to feel who felt left out socially, and I'm also that friend who's gonna make sure that I can connect them back to the circle. I can sense this feeling because I feel alienated myself.

And that's where the problem starts, when I feel alone, I stay silent and alone. I feel lost, together with academic responsibilities, it feels like I'm in autopilot mode. I help people feel belong yet I don't feel human at all. I help on connecting people, so people on my circle can see me as a friend. But people from outside will just know me as the circle itself. To make it simple, I'm a product of what my friends' likes and wants are at the university, I don't know my identity, I don't know who I am. Even with a lot of people, I feel alone.

It's always that hole in the chest feeling, it's never treated well. I can laugh, I can smile, I can socialize, but I still can't find the answer. I want someone to hold my hand, but I don't feel worthy of holding someone's hand. I'm scared of my mind, I suffer a lot from my imagination. I hope I can feel like a human again.

STOP

2023-09-21 10:40:12 UTC

guys, anyone here who worked while studying? whenever i saw people kasi working gusto ko rin. naiisip ko college for 4years tapos wala naman ako naiipon while ibang ka batch ko they could make their own money. some of them stop to work. ayoko mag stop. working student? idk if kaya ko lalo na kung grade concious ako. hindi ko ata kaya i take yung "makapasa lang okay na"

Tired

2023-09-21 13:54:33 UTC

Too tired to study, but too scared to fail

2023-09-22 11:17:24 UTC

can you hug me? i'm so tired and this can't be resolved by just sleeping

2023-09-22 12:41:20 UTC

Hi. Didn't think this is where I'll find myself. It's just really scary to express this directly. Kuyas, I miss you :( And it's not even enough to say "I miss you" kasi hindi naman kaya i-hold nung mga salitang 'yon kung gaano. I understood then and I still understand that you're both busy, you got bigger responsibilities now, and I also have my own. Pero pwede ba maging selfish kahit ngayon lang? Parang ayoko munang intindihin yung circumstances natin ngayon. I want to spend time with you :((( Sana gano'n kadali HAHAHAHA See, hindi ko masabi 'to nang diretso kasi ni hindi ko alam paano i-express just how much I miss you both. Nakakatakot din isipin kung ano possible outcome kung sasabihin ko 'to. I don't want to seem too much, or a burden, or be weird. Ewan ko. Pero ayon HAHAHAHAHA

CATTO

2023-09-22 13:50:16 UTC

As a fur mom grabe talaga inis at lungkot ko nung makita ko yung cat earlier. kasi i never imagine na inside the campus possible yon mangyari. few weeks ago i lost my kitten too because of reckless driver kaya i couldn't imagine na nangyari siya sa campus. I love seeing cats inside our campus especially sa cssp building. they're somehow snobbish, but that's made them wonderful. I was mad earlier kaya I'm planning talaga to make a letter sa suggestion box na sana mag pay yung gumawa non. I don't know any committee that will help the case kaya i tried to reach out. I thought no one will pay attention then luckily may post regarding sa nangyari. Still sana mag pay yung gumawa. Hindi manlang naisip huminto to check as in hinayaan lang kaya yung kuya na lang nag tabi kanina kasi naawa siya baka raw masagasaan ulit. Fly high catto. :(

PETS

2023-09-22 13:56:15 UTC

I hope other people realize na furr babies or any pets aren't just for decorations. Hindi pwedeng palitan lang or hayaan. Kasi I've noticed na parang kapag may nasagasaan na cats/dogs okay lang. Hindi niyo ba naimagine yung pain nung owner? Yung pain nung pets? Hindi sila palamuti lang. We treat them as our child, siblings or best friend. I lost most of my furr babies dahil sa intentional na pag lason and reckless driving. Grabe kayo. They're times na naiisip ko sana bumalik sakanila yung pain na naranasan ng owner. Now to psychology bigla ko naisip mag ship sa course na related sa vet. Pls even if you're not a furr mom/dad give animals respect. Don't be cruel to them. :(

:(

2023-09-22 13:58:09 UTC

May naopen talaga na painful memories sa'kin dahil sa nangyare sa cat. Nakakasama ng loob. We're supposed to eat na eh usually kasi may cats under the table or nag wwalk sa tapat ng mendoza. Hindi ko inexpect na ganon yung makikita ko. Fly high catto. :(

To aka A. N.

2023-09-26 04:07:42 UTC

Grabe ito yung literal na kung gaano kabilis nagsimula ganun katulin nawala. I've told you unti unti mga pinagdaanan ko para maiwasan mo ng magaya or magawa pa sa akin kasi makakasakit sa akin yun ng husto. So now here we are, parang walang pinagsamahan, and u know what hurts me the most? nung sinabi mo na gusto mo makipag palit ng partner pero ano bang magagawa ko diba? Yung sugat na meron ako at hineheal ikaw nagpanariwa. Sana mag grow ka pa, dami mo pang need ayusin sa sarili mo. Di lahat ng bagay o tao ay nakukuha ng mabilis, remember that--kung gusto mo-- paghirapan mo. Gusto pa sana kita samahan sa journey mo kasi support naman ako, kaso you hurted me, and di mo man lang naisip ano pwedeng maging impact sa akin nung ginawa mo at mga sinabi mo. Kung sana pwede pa maayos, ;ets fix ayaw ko din magkaroon awkward moments lalo at nasa isang org tayo. sana sa span na magkausap tayo may mga natutunan ka sa akin na maiaaply mo sa life to be better. God bless you GNTA.

To S,PC :>

2023-09-26 04:17:57 UTC

Thank you sa lahat ng mga kwentuhan either thru chat or personal. Sana maka close pa kita and makapag perform tayo ng magkasama. In a short span of time, dami ko na rin nalaman sayo, and nakakatuwa na mayroon kang good mindset and goal not just for yourself but also sa org natin. I appreciate you a lot.

Sana di ka maligaw ng landas na huwag mong hayaan na may makapag impluwensiya sayo na dahil galit itong isang tao na ito dun sa isa ay ganun na din gagawin mo-- wag ganun please kasi maling mali.

Ikaw yung tao na di talaga pa cp HAHAHA jusko bago mag seen mga nakalipas na ata isang araw. Pero its understandable naman marami yata kayong gawin at kincram mo mga spoc niyo, goodluckk! sana we can find time para makapaag chikahan pa. Ingat ka lagi and see youu around campus!

Y e l l o w

STOP BEING RUDE 2023 NA

2023-09-27 07:07:28 UTC

Fyi ang flush po sa cr ng mendoza nag aantay pa mag ka water for another flush. Any flush naman actually, but since mahina ang water sa mendoza need pa mag wait.

I had an encounter earlier where nag cr ako sa 2nd floor and nakapag flush po ako (funny how i need to justify this thing). Then may sumunod sa'kin na (not sure) freshman from social work na may reporting. Hindi siya nakapag flush and they point out na walang tubig.

So one of them made a tone and point out na "paano nakapag flush yung mga unang gumamit?" then sumagot na "edi hindi nag buhos" while looking at me. I know how to differentiate tones. If you're reading this how could you be so rude? I was with my friend and even her noticed your tone. For sure from social work kayo. Please keep that attitude away college na tayo. Stop being mean.

Yung tone niyo may intention na i pahiya kami. One thing for surekayoy ang hindi nakapag flush so in order to save yourself ipapahiya niyo kami.

Worst encounter i had for now sa cssp. Ate's and Kuya's there are so nice even the freshies I've encounter. So pls take this as an information na mahina ang tubig and you need to wait na mapuno ang water storage in order to flush. Stop being mean. Hindi po nakakaganda.

- from psych student na piniling hayaan kayo pero hiniritan niyo pa.

Blank

2023-09-30 10:10:37 UTC

Everything was annoying. I feel the need to cut off everyone. I don't like people knowing me. I hate invasion of privacy. I hate everything.

2023-09-30 10:16:33 UTC

i swore to my younger self that i would someday grow to love my body, but i'm afraid i'm about to disappoint her again because until this day, if i could, i would trade anything just so i could live in a different body.

hello k i am falling for u

2023-09-30 10:24:42 UTC

i think you're the kind of love i had yearned for my whole life. the thought that once kept me up at night as i cried myself to sleep, hoping i'd find a love that does not complete me because i do not lack without it. you keep me full. you're the one i imagined when i was young and hopeful and all i had were unreal expectations of what it's like to love and be loved. thank you for your warmth, gentleness, and security. thank you for giving me peace. you inspire me in many ways and i think you're good for me. i wish i am good for you as well.

- k

2023-09-30 10:36:25 UTC

outgrowing friends whom u once deemed important is so weird. one moment, you're out there mentioning each other in dumb posts on social media. laughing endlessly because neither of you will stop adding jokes to the thing you found funny. talking shit about people you mutually disliked. feeding into each other's delusions about the people you liked. sharing your deepest darkest secrets. like that one moment in your childhood that scarred you so painfully it sometimes still manifests in your present life. them understanding that. knowing each other's most gut-wrenching fears and what traumatized you enough to be afraid that much. having a panic attack and them standing beside you not knowing what to do but staying and trying to help you calm down anyway. eating ice cream together as you unload the baggage you unconsciously filled up as you tried to avoid your feelings thinking you were only gonna be a burden if you allowed yourself to shatter. being vulnerable in front of each other. seeing each other's beauties and uglies. and loving the other despite all that.

and then, one day, one just stops reaching out. the days of not catching up turn into weeks, and weeks turn into months. and then there comes a gap that turns into a void. you slowly drift away from each other, but you don't really feel like sending a message or giving a call. it's way too awkward now. it's weird. a distance grows between two souls once intertwined and the strings that once connected you is nowhere to be found. the person you once considered your best friend becomes a familiar body but a stranger in character. they're different. you're different. you're just two people who used to know each other but now doesn't. you can't really do anything about it because sometimes life just goes that way. you meet people, but they're not meant to stay. sometimes you meet at a convenient time and unknowingly help each other through tough times in one stage of life. and then you outgrow each other and meet another. it sucks.

enough

2023-09-30 15:52:05 UTC

Alam mo yun? Okay naman tayo. Maayos naman relationship natin. We voice out our feelings, we communicate, we consider each other’s views in life, we’re comfortable with each other to the point na ayos lang kahit tumulo pa laway ko sa unan kapag natutulog habang katabi kita.

Despite that, parang may kulang. Label ba? HAHAHAHAHA I don’t know. I cannot pinpoint kung ano yung kulang at kung bakit may hesitation pa rin sa part ko. Sometimes, I contemplate to hold your hand or even talk to you lovingly with people around us. Hindi ko magawa yung mga nais kong gawin and I don’t know why. Maybe because it seems so unlike me to act like that?

I always feel sorry that I can’t give my 100% to you. Minsan iniisip ko kung tama pa ba to (kung itutuloy pa ba natin to) kasi I’m afraid that I’m not enough for you. Na ano na pala…nasasaktan na kita dahil sa mga kilos ko (or hindi pagkilos ko).

Kaya sabihin mo lang kung napapagod ka na. I’ll let you go. Di dahil hindi ka worth it ipaglaban…It’s the fact that I know that you deserve someone better :)

CATTO: LOST AND FOUND

2023-10-01 16:35:12 UTC

I found new born kittens last wed. I took them with me and bought them milks. I want th to survive, but sadly one of them died last night. I don't know the reason, but dilim (black cat) was sleeping for an hrs. I still wake them up after 2-3 hrs for their milk. Last night Dilim was different kasi nakapikit siya imbes na mag ingay every feeding then when I've noticed na di na siya nag mmove tinry ko siya i massage sa back after minutes Dilim passed away. That was so sudden, but I know that mommy cat have perks to survive a newborn kittens.

Also last night before Dilim passing. My mom brought a new cat kasi naawa siya na bully yung kitten na 1-2 months old ata ng mga old cats.

Now I lost one and found one.

CAT DISTRIBUTION SYSTEM

2023-10-01 16:39:16 UTC

I lost the kitten I found last Wednesday. Before ko siya pinulot I told myself na if I get this catto baka iyakan ko na naman if something will happen. But ofc I can't stand leaving a kitten crying under the rain so I took them home.

I got it right. I cried a river for one of them passing. I love cats to the point that I will show my soft side just for them. Rest in Peace, Dilim.

DON'T NORMALIZE LEAVING YOUR PETS.

2023-10-01 16:50:23 UTC

To whoever needs this please adopt according to your capability. Puppies or kittens seems to look cute when they are older, but do consider that those little angels will eventually grow and possibly cause you some headache.

You can't just leave them somewhere or illigaw when you can't deal with them anymore. You can't also throw them away or abuse them because you find them annoying. They're not just your guard in case of emergency, treat them with love.

They are willing to be our friends in life so please treat them better. Even stray dogs or cats treat them with respect. As much as possible let them rest kung saan sila comfortable. Don't do them wrong kung wala naman danger sainyo. If you could give them food do it. If you can't then just leave them alone. Don't stress them out.

Never normalize leaving pets to escape responsibilities. Instead, donate them or find them a new owner.

IIYAK BA?

2023-10-01 16:56:19 UTC

I was crying when I said to my parents that my kitten died. My mom was trying to comfort me at first coz I was really crying my eyes out. not until my father joined and said na "ilagay mo sa sinaing bukas" I know he's trying to make it a joke para making light and vibes kasi he's not really affirm person. huhuhuhuhu nabwesit lang ako!!! hahaha! kainis!

2023-10-06 09:49:21 UTC

I lost my last adopted new born kittens. :(

2023-10-12 11:54:14 UTC

☁️ — i normally know the words to juxtapose but this . . . i can’t put into words.

2023-10-12 11:56:42 UTC

i feel like the program i'm currently taking and the career path i want in the future are not for me. i don't really even know if i truly want this. i just hope i can learn to love this program dearly and help the community in the future. :')

para sa bayan. ⚖️

2023-10-12 12:06:38 UTC

even though i say it's okay, at the back of my mind lagi kong sinasabi na sana di ko na lang pinursue yung program na 'to at sana di ko na lang nakilala yung mga school friends ko. it's a horrible thing to admit but this is what i always feel...

2023-10-12 13:50:23 UTC

motivation from God hits different

ANG FORGETFUL KO

2023-10-12 15:03:31 UTC

Kanina habang nasa jeep ako saka ko naalalang naiwan ko yung payong ko sa registrar nang nakabukas. As in, ang layo ko na tapos naalala ko may payong pala ko. Nangyari rin siya sakin last week pero tumbler ko naman. I know I tend to forget where I put things kaya I try my best to keep them in my bag. Pero, I'm forgetting stuff because I don't know where to store it.

I've been known as the "matalino" since elementary. Laging active sa acads, laging may sagot, laging mataas score, laging masaya mag-aral. But now, I seem to forget how to study, kasi I don't know where to start. Dati, hindi ko ibinababa yung kamay ko hangga't hindi ako natatawag pero ngayon, hindi ko na siya kailanman naitaas. Dati, ginagawa ko agad yung assignment na minsan sinasagutan ko pa pagkalabas pa lang ng teacher, ngayon naman ginagawa ko lang siya bago pumasok ng classroom.

Hindi ko na alam saan kukuha ng lakas kumuha ng papel at sumulat. Nanghihina ang bawat daliri ko sa paglipat ng pahina ng notebook ko. Gusto ko mag-aral, hindi, kailangan ko mag-aral. Pero, bakit hindi ko magawa? Nakalimutan ko na ba kung paano magbasa? O baka naman hindi na ko marunong mag-add o subtract?

My fuel has been all used up that I won't even flicker anymore. I never recovered ata from my burnout tapos akala ko lang okay na ko kasi I did well one time. I feel so dizzy just thinking of studying. Sinusuka na ata siya ng katawan ko. Napagod na siyang bumasa nang bumasa kahit wala nang kalalagyan. Saan ko ba pwedeng ilagay itong inaaral ko para hindi ko maiwan? Para hindi ko makalimutan? Hindi ba talaga pwedeng sa bag ko na lang?

2023-10-12 15:51:28 UTC

I will always want the same you.

I've been serving a community for almost 8 years, but I can't help myself to not go there anymore. If before that's my safety space but now it become toxic.

2023-10-12 16:32:00 UTC

Yes, we serve because of Him, but it's really hard to have unhealthy and toxic environment

2023-10-13 01:51:11 UTC

How can I say I’m tired to the people who depends on me?

Proud pa rin ba kayo sa’kin?

2023-10-13 09:07:02 UTC

Archi student here na magshshift na next s.y. Satingin mo ba nasa maling course ka? SHIFT NA, chariz. Matagal ko tong pinag-isipan kung itutuloy ko tong pag shshift ko kasi nasasayangan ako sa oras, ilang dasal, ilang signs, ilang tanong sa opinyon ng iba at ilang pagsubok yung tinahak ko para lang makapag desisyon na makapag shift. T/N! Hindi ako nag shift para mapadali buhay ko, mag shshift ako kasi all this time, eto pala talaga calling ko, to be a psychiatrist.

Nag architecture ako kasi sinuggest lang siya ng magulang ko and naisip ko na interesting naman yung course since it’s about planning/designing structures. ABM student pa ko neto ha. Tapos ngayon mag memedical field pa ko. Hindi sila mag kaka connect noh? Ganyan naman kasi buhay. Walang kasiguraduhan pero piliin mo pa rin magpatuloy. Hindi porket naguguluhan ka, hindi mo pag susumikapan na hanapin yung tamang direksyon sa buhay mo.

My parents are not happy about the course i’ll be taking next s.y. which is, psychology. Kahit hindi nila alam na architecture drained me. Workloads, unending memorization of terms and republic acts of different codes, large scale of plates, sleepless nights, countless breakdowns and doubts, back problems, sudden headaches, guilt when taking a rest, subjects that have same day deadlines, drafting rooms that are not clean or windows that air couldn’t even enter despite being open, having fever (& still doing plates because major subjects of architecture is not a joke and if you failed 1 subject, domino effect na sa mga ibang major subjects due to prerequisites) & especially parents who don’t check-up on your mental health despite hearing/seeing me cry in the middle of the night but instead scold me on why am i sleeping/doing nothing when i have plates to do. Parents judge you easily when they don’t even see how you always strive for the best just to make them proud. Simple “Okay kalang ba?” “Kamusta ka?” “Masaya kapa ba?” “Kamusta araw mo?” “Magpahinga ka rin” is all i’ve been waiting to hear from my parents, but no. They just cared when i’m excelling on something but belittle me in times of struggle.

Now, I decided for myself and stop for a year so that I can shift next s.y. in psychology. “Why stop for a year, eh pede ka naman mag shift ka agad?”. Kasi ngayon, magpapahinga ko, itutulog ko lahat ng tulog na hindi ko nakuha, kakain ako ng matino, magpapahinga ng hindi iniisip yung mga bagay na kailangan tapusin kasi may deadline, mag momovie marathon, makapag worship kay God, malaro yung aso ko at marami pang iba na nakalimutan ko nang gawin kasi wala akong oras para sa sarili ko. Hindi sayang sa oras kung yun yung mas makakabuti sayo.

Pag magulang na kayo, siguraduhin niyong kilala niyo ang mga anak ninyo, siguraduhin niyong okay sila at napapakinggan. Your child might have friends but there’s no greater bond than a healthy bond between a child and their parents :)

Break the toxic mentality of parents in terms of raising a child. You are not them.

I'm really tired and they thought I was just overreacting. Akala nila di nakakapagod yung acads lalo na pagsabay sabay yung deadlines, being a slow learner and having a short term memory is so hard lalo na pag hell (exam) week. Kaya need ko mag-review dito, review doon para matandaan lahat ng lessons. Bukod sa acads I'm tired being a people-pleaser like please let me breathe.

2023-10-13 23:57:16 UTC

2023-10-14 00:09:08 UTC

Pagod na ko why can't God allow me to rest forever with him sobrang pagod na ko sa acads tapos pag-uwi ng bahay they will say hurtful words like wala kang ginagawang matino sa bahay. How can I move when I'm too tired triny ko naman lahat yet I still get low scores sa exam wasn't that enough? if it is not enough then I quit. I always dissapoint myself kung hindi people-pleaser a stupid student. being a people-pleaser is so hard begging for their love and not to leave in our life.. I'm too tired please konti nalang mawawalan na ko ng pake sa mga bagay and I hate it when it happens.

Midterms

2023-10-15 12:24:59 UTC

Omyghad. I messed up real bad. I wanna cry. So, we had this test on calculus. It was a 30 item test, I think. And alam mo ba na matagal na akong nagrereview. Like, nagpatutor pa nga ako one time. I know na hindi ganon agad mahahasa yung skills sa math, especially pag hindi ka magaling sa math. That's my scenario. Saktuhan lang or below ave pa sa math na kumuha ng engineering. But you know, dahil nga nageffort naman ako, parang ang sakit lang na nung dumating yung test is parang nawala lahat ng nireview ko. Diko nga alam gagawin ko. Ang sakit sakin non. Pero anyways, kakayanin kahit diko alam pano ipapasa to. I really want to be an engr kasi. Pray for me 🙏

2023-10-18 22:40:03 UTC

11:11, I hope the stars are aligned for us to meet again

2023-10-20 15:03:04 UTC

Talking to someone scares me. There are times that they won’t like me back, and sometimes, I won’t like them back. It is rare to find someone that matches my personality and humor; when I find one, it just doesn’t work out.

It's interesting that I can talk to someone for months and not fall in love with them, but when I get to know someone, their secrets, traits, and personality, I hit the ground so hard and get attached to them for like a week of talking.

Having you was like a roller coaster ride. There were times that it scared me, made me feel annoyed, but most of the time I felt genuine happiness.

I am no different from the people you told me about. In just a matter of weeks, they all fall for you simply by being yourself, and now I know how they felt. The only difference is that you don’t like me, and you did learn to like them.

The hard part is that you showed me light, you showered me with light, which blinded me from reality, or was just all that part of my delusions?

I think the only reason why I’m feeling this is that you have everything that I look for in a partner, and finding such a person is unusual for me.

You are the reason why I’m excited to wake up in the morning. Every night, I wait for your ending chat, and I hope that someday, I can tell this story again using “were”. I know that time will come, but I'm wishing to the stars that it won’t.

And if the stars are aligned for us to meet again, I hope that my feelings still shine like a supernova.

2023-10-20 18:08:10 UTC

ang bilis sumama ng loob ko sa mga kaibigan ko lately like before hahaha. parang feel ko ang unfair nila sakin to the point na i always feel alone kahit nandyan naman sila. hindi ko naman magawang makapagsabi kasi hindi talaga ako vocal na tao since lagi kong kini-keep sa sarili ko mga bagay hanggang sa hindi ko na kaya. napapagod na rin ako minsan, gusto ko nalang maging mag-isa minsan kaso hindi ko kaya, hindi ko maisip na alisin sila sa buhay ko. parang ang unreasonable ko rin at some point kasi hindi naman ako nagsasabi pero ang hirap talaga magsabi hahaha (family genes acting up ems).

I'm close to letting everything go.

2023-10-27 06:26:45 UTC

I'm exhausted, I need rest. I fear that I can't stay here, not anymore. I've been holding on for years and right now I can't.

I'll be around for a few more months, I'd hate to go without seeing things through.

2023-10-30 17:20:22 UTC

i just want to let go all of my worries, if it's just easy to do so.

2023-11-05 15:22:04 UTC

Hi idol, alam kong out of touch kita. At alam ko na never mo kong titignan the way that I am seeing you. Pero kung may isa man akong pagkakataon para humiling araw-araw, yun ay sana kahit isa lang, magkaroon tayo ng chance. Take a chance with me pls. Araw-araw kong papatugtugin yan at hindi ako magsasawa.

Btw, sana gumaling na migraine mo :>

2023-11-08 12:03:09 UTC

I miss the old me, yung desidido

2023-11-10 15:35:01 UTC

i act like i don't care, but i'm truly bothered with whatever is happening to us. :(

2024-01-27 00:08:19 UTC

I don't know where to ask na, but i badly need an answer. Is it necessary for Psych na may sci cal? Idk what to buy kasi if cheaper cal lang or casio which way expensive. Baka kasi pag casio bilhin tapos after 1 sub hindi na gagamitin. So pls lmk your answer and if u have suggestions. Thank you!

2024-04-05 22:23:52 UTC

I feel sad, now that everything has ended.

It feels like I lost something that was never mine to begin with.

I believed that the 'warmth' I felt would keep me happy for a long time. Now that it's gone, I yearn for it. But I can't go back.

I know someday, that warmth will come back. We'll be fine. I hope life would always be good to us.

This is my last act, I'm letting us go.