“I cannot make speeches, Emma... If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”

There are no eloquent speeches, no grand declarations that can truly express the way he makes me feel. Words feel too small, too ordinary to explain how much love my heart can hold for him. It’s in the shared laughter that fills our space, in between talks of our childhood memories and current small yet certain joys. It’s in the reassuring strength of his embrace when I came down with a cold and fever, a time when I needed comfort the most. It’s in the playful spark in his smile, the one that matched mine, when we daydreamed of holding an oceanfront cliff wedding. It’s in his thoughtful endearments that only kept on coming to assure I’d never forget how loved I am and how much I meant to him, even just for a minute.

He sees the parts of me I sometimes try to hide and he loves them just as much as the parts I readily share. He’s shown me what it means to be truly seen and cherished. When he walked into my life, love came in the unwavering presence of someone who understands my soul. His kindness is a constant, a gentle warmth that envelops me, making me feel safe and cherished.

It's a love that feels like coming home where you're celebrated, a love that makes every ordinary moment extraordinary. It’s a love that has filled my life with a joy I never thought possible.

terima kasih sudah menjadi pendengar dan kakak yang penyayang. beliau ini bukan sembarang beliau tau karena mas didi ini orangnya sabar dan woa banget. tipikal orang yang punya vibe yang comforting. dia selalu bisa bikin orang di sekitarnya merasa dihargai, didengar, dan dipahami. cara ngomongnya gak pernah basa-basi, tapi beneran ngena (uhuy). tanpa sadar, dia udah jadi sosok yang bantu balikin lagi rasa percaya diriku t____t terima kasih ya mas udah jadi orang yang keren setiap hari 🤍 orang kayak mas didi itu langka, dan aku bersyukur banget bisa kenal dia. makasih ya, mas, udah jadi orang yang bisa diandalkan dan bikin dunia ini terasa lebih hangat!

-s

Before reading the rest of the message, clicking this link is mandatory. I'm creating ambience. :)

Don't expect too much, I'm no reliable when it comes to wordcrafts. First truth: I never joke whenever I say you're lovely. Too lovely to my mediocrity, too gentle for my rough-ended soul. Your words are deeply rooted in my heart, your presence lingers stubbornly, leaving marks of strong impression all over the empty holes inside my heart. My demeanors are awkward and dense by nature, but you make me feel warm right before I realize it. Something about you makes me want to love everything deeper. Something about you makes me want to stop putting myself in a cage and limiting myself from being free. A bit of TMI, but real #testimony, I really seeked for plenty of new friends right after we talked and shared kiss—I'm having my great time! In such short time we spent, many things happened to me at once. Meeting you has altered my brain chemistry, I must say—and I'm very happy to know that I have the desire to try to be as gentle as you. No, in fact, I'm trying now!

Thank you for reminding me that I'm worth of love, both receiving and giving it to you. Let's hope I still remain as the fun (^_^♪) friend of your life the second time our path crosses, yeah? Until then, please share your Dillan-ly love to everyone around you. I'll sign the petition for satu rumah wajib mengadakan satu Dillan because of how you're really exciting to have around, and really easy to love!

There were moments in the past when I thought I knew what love was. I've felt the excitement, the rush, and the butterflies. But none of that ever compared to what I feel with you. It's not just about the moments that make me smile, though there are plenty of those. It's about how, even in silence, your presence makes everything feel right. My heart has waited so long for this kind of love, one that doesn't demand or rush, but simply stays.

I think about all the times I doubted whether love like this even existed. I questioned if I was asking for too much or if I was just unlucky. But now that you're here, I realize my heart wasn't wrong to wait. It knew what it needed, even when I didn't. And now, in your love, it feels like everything has fallen into place.

It's a strange, wonderful feeling to finally be loved in a way my heart has always longed for. I don't know what the future holds, but for now, it feels like my heart has found exactly what it's been waiting for all along. And that's enough.

I hope Kakak always has plenty of reasons to nuynaming.

Yours truly, Issa.

I miss you—your touch, your gaze, your words that made me feel like I could rise above anything. Without you, something within me feels lost, like a part of my soul wandered away with you… And nothing else feels quite right without your presence.

Even if our paths no longer walk side by side, I still carry nothing but hope for you. May life be kind to you, may your days be filled with peace, growth, and gentle joy. I hope you find the kind of love that makes your soul feel at home, and may you always be surrounded by people who see your light, even on your dimmest days. Wherever you go, whatever you do—may you always be happy, truly and deeply.

The man who once held your heart.

Sebelumnya maaf sejutaa maaf entah gimana I took around 1000 business days to fill out this Padlet. Plis (opsional: jangan) marahin aku next meet kita huhu (kalau mas masih mau ketemu lagi hehe)

Thank you for the past 6 hours of being the loveliest little chapter in my day. I didn’t think someone could make me feel this soft, this fast but here you are, being effortlessly charming, incredibly easy to love, and somehow managing to stay patient with my endless yapping. Seriously, you deserve a medal (or at least a nap).

You were warm, funny, gentle, and made me feel like the only person in the world, even if it was just for a few hours. And I know I didn’t say “I love you” that often (duh yaampun begitulah aku maaf maaf banget sejujurnya kebiasaan buruk ini, blame my emotionally constipated heart) tapi if you could hear all the unsaid things between my laughs, you’d know it was there, quietly but honestly.

I hope you had a great time in SG and made some fun memories. Also, semoga kita bisa ketemu lagi anytime soon ya, kalau semisal mas mau dan ga bosan sama tingkahku yang aneh aneh ini 😉.

Until then, take care of that soft heart of yours. You’re kinda unforgettable, you know.

--Si Ngidam Marugame (no endorse), N.

Maybe it’s too specific for a what-if, or maybe it’s just how I’ve come to interpret our relationship in the span of two days.

A brief moment, yes, but also the happiest. I got to know you, to love you, and to be loved by you in return.

In this reality, I might seriously remind you to sleep earlier or roll my eyes at your silly jokes. But even in those moments, I love you—through your words, through your hands, through every presence you give me.

I love you in the tiniest details, like when I accidentally call you Mas, or when you compare me to your favorite tea. I get overjoyed at the smallest things you say. Maybe that’s just our trope: a teasing boyfriend and a girlfriend who blushes too easily.

I love you the way I love my favorite noodles—comforting, familiar, yet always something new. I hope our feelings stay mutual, never wearing thin.

Thank you for being so easy to love. For being the gentlest embrace I can always come back to. Please live long and live well, Di. Because I can’t wait to spend a lifetime doing mundane things with you.

The girl you once shared a hostel with,
Maxine.

No idea what sort of spell Dillan Harmon infuses in his one-man shows, but he's got this particular girl in the audience completely bewitched, to the point that her head's filled to the brim with nothing but the tunes his voice carries.

He truly has me wrapped around his fingers—the very same pair of hands he's skillfully used to caress unrecognizable hymns out of me, ones I never knew I had in myself. What have you turned me into, Kakak?

It's not normal for me to find myself opening someone's Padlet, typing and erasing and retyping sentences the minute I wake up the morning after. Never have I ever been this eager, this quick, to write a post-session review for anyone. Ever. Maybe it's an attempt to hold onto the fleeting feeling a little while longer. I don't exactly know for sure. One thing I do know is that I'm... all over the place, still, as you can probably see. Gara-gara siapa lagi coba, kalau bukan karena si Dillan Harmon itu.

If you're a potential client of Dillan's, do know that I've had my fair share of experience with companions over the years, and I can confidently say that Dillan is one of a kind. Trust me when I say that stumbling upon him is one of the best things to happen to me in a while. (Yes, yes, I'm shamelessly sucking up to you, Kakak. Feeding your ego, exactly the way you like it.) He's incredibly good at what he does, and he is much, much more than everything he claims to be.

I can only hope that whoever finds their way into his arms holds him with the same tenderness he's given me… and when the world is kind, perhaps I’ll be lucky enough to return to them, too.

(Already) longing for the stars to align a second time,

Kakak's little E.

Aku bingung mulainya gimana tapi Terima kasih karena udah buat weekend aku, beneran rasanya bisa istirahat. Habisin waktu bareng kamu, kayaknya jadi salah satu hal yang paling aku syukuri dan senangin karena rasanya kayak re-charge energi aku❤🥺. Seneng, seneng, seneng banget karena ngerasa ketemu orang yang bisa samain energi aku.. Terima kasih juga karena selalu merhatiin hal-hal kecil yang bahkan kadang aku kayak gak notice☹️(aku beneran terharu banget??). AKU SAYANG BANGET DEH SAMA KAMUUU HUHUHHUUU..

Ps: jangan lupa jaga kesehatan😤

Maaf baru mampir sekarang huhu. Semoga hari ini menyenangkan ya.

I wanna say thank you so much, Kak udah mau ngabisin waktu bareng aku kemarin-kemarin. Maaf ya jadi bikin waktu istirahat kakak berkurang 😣

Spending time with you was something I’ll never forget.

What we shared that night was wild and I want more ✌🏻. I can still feel your touch from that night.

Intinya aku seneng bisa ngobrol sama kakak, semoga kakak juga happy ya.

Maaf kalau ada kata-kata atau perbuatan aku yang bikin kakak jadi kurang nyaman.

Semoga kita bisa ketemu lagi ya, Kak Dillan. 🩷

— L

love,

your darla 💛

You do know how much I value you, right? Your presence in my life brings this kind of warmth that settles right into my heart. You always know how to make things better—how to treat me with a kindness that makes me feel like the most precious gem in the world. (And trust me, that’s not easy. I can be stubborn and gamau nurut like you've always told me. Hehe.)

It’s in the way you talk to me without ever making me feel small. The way you share your stories. The way you actually try to connect with the things I love—like you’re secretly keeping a notebook about me in your pocket or something. It’s sweet.

It’s funny how just you—your existence—can light up my whole day. Two days with you? Not enough. Not even close. I always find myself wishing for just a little more time. (Okay, maybe a lot more.)

There’s this quote I read once: “A person has to be big to carry all the love they have inside.” And even then, sometimes it still overflows. Like you said, you’re not that bulky (HAHA, sorry not sorry), but somehow, you’re always overflowing with love. The way you care, the way you notice things, the way you give. Sometimes I wonder if you even realize how much of it spills over, how much of it reaches me.

It’s also funny how we’re so different, and yet we match each other’s energy so effortlessly. You and your love for matcha (ugh), and me with my forever loyalty to coffee and chocolate (which you don’t even like!). But somehow, you always say, “If someone means that much to you, you meet them halfway.” And maybe that’s why this works.. Because somewhere along the way, we’ve both been quietly meeting halfway, without even noticing.

And oh! I really can’t wait to see you for our Lebaran Haji-an agenda! Make sure you spare some time for me, okay? Because right after writing this, I’m practically in training mode, learning how to cut meat with surgical precision. I’m not saying I’m competitive, but I am saying I plan on winning. So watch out. (But also… cheer for me a little?)

And that “Level 7 friendship” thing.. uh.. I still can’t believe I said that. But hey, if you’re up for it, let’s do it. Let’s unlock every stage of this friendship. All the way to the final boss level! 60 years from now, still teasing each other, still laughing, still… us.

To 60 more birthdays ahead, to decades of silly bickering, quiet talks, and the kind of connection that somehow just makes sense. Even when nothing else does.

Thank you for always making me feel seen.

Thank you for being you—warm, kind, and filled with a heart so big, it somehow fits everyone, yet still makes room for me.

From your overly sentimental childhood best friend,

Harsha.

P.s. I silently pray to god that you won't use this letter—which i wrote WHOLEHEARTEDLY—to tease me in the future. If you dare, then it's hundreds thumbs down for you 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

The way you laugh, the way you ramble when you’re excited, the way you tell stories as if the world only exists for you to paint it with words—I miss all of that. I miss the way you always bring a whole universe with you every time we talk. I miss your smile too, the one that makes my heart skip a beat.

Please don’t forget to drink water, okay? Even if I know you’re the kind who would do it anyway, just let me... that’s what people do when they love someone. So here I am, staying in thoughts, until fate is kind again and lets me meet you once more. And when that day comes, I promise I’ll hug you a little longer, talk a little more, and love you just the same—if not more.

With all the love my chest can hold,

N.

aku mau tulis sesuatu buat kakak om. gak panjang, soalnya aku malu kalo panjang-panjang nanti ketauan aku naksir kakak om banget >:(

kakak, kakak om, kakak yanchannya aku! makasih ya, waktu itu udah nemenin aku dan mengimbangi energi aku. sejujurnya, aku agak takut nanti kakak capek karena aku bawel dan banyak omong. tapi... TAPI AKU SENENG BANGET.... KAKAK OM TANGGEPIN AKU NGOCEH T___T

kakak om, yang tadinya aku kira tenang dan kalem, ternyata juga bisa dangdut dan kerjaannya godain aku terus, MALES DEH

kakak om bikin aku lupa sejenak sama fakta bahwa aku lagi ada sakit dan bikin aku meringis terus kemarin. aku jadi terdistraksi dan gak begitu rasain sakitnya karena aku fokus ngobrol sama bapak-bapak dangdut yang hobinya menyerang aku pake kedangdutannya 👎

aku sedih (sedikit) karena waktunya terasa singkat banget.... mau lagi ketemu sama om! boleh ya? boleh gak aku mampir lagi?

ah ya, maaf kalo aku sering ketiduran kemarin. MAAF BANGET JUJUR AKU GAK TAHAN KALO UDAH NEMPEL BANTAL

hehehehe sampai jumpa kakak om!!! kapan-kapan aku dateng lagi, ya?

ー312

So, how’s life been treating you lately? Have you been getting enough sleep? How’s your maag doing? I miss you... :(

Ah! I finally managed to finish watching all the Mission: Impossible movies. Well, except the one still in theaters, of course. It took me a while since i’ve been so busy these past few days. But honestly, it was fun!

Somehow, i kept getting this adrenaline rush and used it to power through all my tasks and handle meetings with the (annoying) higher-ups. They’ve been requesting a lot. But again, fun!

I dreamed about you, twice. Berturut-turut.

Guess this little boyfriend of yours is missing his Kakak Iyan so much.

Work’s been extra exhausting lately. 👎🏻

Tungguin ya, sampe adek nyamper lagi dengan segudang keluhan dan pelukan ya. Hehehehehe.

Also, you know what?

I’ve been catching myself smiling like a fool in between meetings—like literally zoning out mid-policy brief checking, just because i remember you. Gawat nih. You got me acting all soft in the middle of my work chaos. Orgil emang.

Kadang suka mikir, kalau Kakak tiba-tiba muncul di depan aku pas lagi hectic-⁠hecticnya, terus nyodorin kopi sambil bilang, “Nih, biar Adek semangat dikit,” i'd gladly ditch all my workload and follow you home. Siap gak?!

Dan kalau nanti aku dateng sambil banyak ngeluh, Kakak jangan bosen ya. Tapi Adek janji deh, setiap satu keluhan bakal aku ganti sama satu ciuman.

Fair trade, right?

So when the day comes, i’ll make sure to hug you longer—like, waaaaay longer.

P.S. Prepare yourself for some updates on the newest trend too, ya! I’m coming with gossip, TikTok references, and probably a new favorite snack we have to try together. All for the sake of you to become like the reaaal gen z. :p

That’s the intro. Verse one:
Fucking intruder! You came unnoticed and just took away my heart like that. Well yes, call me a fool for not admitting it right away. It took a lot in me to just let my guard down and let you in, fully. Occupied my everything. Who’s falling for Dillan Harmon propaganda? Absolutely, me. Undoubtedly, me. Maybe I was such a coward too, for being a little (too much) too nonchalant. But I did good at keeping my cool, didn’t I? Because no one could ever, ever, ever be able to resist a bag full of charm like you. And you know what? I thank God every day that you somehow decided to choose to lay your heart bare for me.

Chorus:
But then again, it’s all because it’s just you. I’m afraid that it’ll be a whole different case with others. Scratch that, I don’t care about others. You, you’re the one who makes it possible. You liked my unliked. Wait, does that even make sense?

Verse two:
Oh, fucking hell, if I wasn’t a little bit careful about my own being, I think I’d already give my whole veins and every part of my body to be yours. Yours to be wrecked and destroyed. I’m a whole new person when you’re beast. To open up every dark fantasy you held under your skin, I somehow didn’t ever mind being skinned alive by your grazing teeth. Bruises by bruises, everything, anything to make me yours.

Bridge:
And look at us, we made it. I was brave and you were ready to take risk. We made huge progress and we walked a step further as I was ready that I would take every each of it with you only.

Outro:
Quoted from OneRepublic, “And we'll start a fire, and we’ll shut it down, ‘til the love runs out, ‘til the love runs out.” Until our love runs out, which I doubt it ever will, we will continue being each other’s raging fire.

Xx, AS.

Sejujurnya, waktu pertama kali lihat akun AmpedAdorer tuh bibit-bibit naksir dalam diriku mulai bermunculan.. APALAGI Kakak tuh pakai FC member TBZ jadi bikin aku makin-makin naksir lagi.. tapi sayangnya waktu itu kita gak bisa langsung ketemu karena gak ada jadwal yang cocok jadi aku harus berperan sebagai pengagum rahasia Kakak dulu nih. Aku cuma bisa stalking akun buat lihat interaksi Kakak sama teman-temannya dan ternyata Kakak tuh orangnya konyol banget yaaa (seneng sih akhirnya menemukan orang cakep yang brandingnya nggak he him damn dude ava mati lampu hahahah). Dan waktu aku kirim pesan lewat Neospring yang bilang baru bisa ketemu bulan depan, aku masih inget Kakak bilang kalau rasa senang yang aku rasain bakal semakin besar karena menunggu lebih lama, and you prove it right! Setelah ajakan pacaranku diterima sampai hari H nya ketemu, rasa senangku semakin memuncak sampai aku bela-belain bikin video dan siapin layout couple SANGKING GAK SABARNYA BUAT KETEMU padahal itu bakal jadi pertemuan pertama kita juga. Seumur-umur aku tuh gak mau nyiapin ini itu buat sesi pertama karena takutnya gak cocok tapi gara-gara kecintaan banget sama Kak Dillan jadi diterabas semuanya!

Dan waktu sesinya berjalan... Kakak tuh beneran bisa banget mewujudkan sosok pacar yang selama ini aku inginkan.. sampai aku membatin "Yes, he is the one. My heart belongs to him." setelah 1,5 tahun aku cari-cari orang tersebut. Sama Kak Dillan tuh aku banyaaaaak banget senangnya, dimulai dari tingkah lakunya yang ajaib banget atau asbunannya yang kadang di luar nalar tapi selalu berhasil bikin aku ketawa. Dan waktu muji aku juga, especially the VN thingy, I swear to God I can't stop giggling LIKE CRAZYYYY. Beneran dibikin cinta mati sama si Dillan Harmon itu. Hal lain yang mungkin kelihatannya sederhana tapi berdampak LUAR BIASA bagi diri aku adalah waktu Kakak tuh ngeh kalau aku merasa ngantuk karena ketikannya udah ada typo-typonya gitu tapi Kakak nggak push aku buat cepetan tidur karena akunya emang masih mau ngobrol sama Kakak.. dan Kakak pun menawarkan buat ngobrolin yang pendek-pendek aja (menurutku ini WOW juga sih soalnya jarang banget ada yang inisiatif begini, seringnya aku yang harus cut beberapa bubble biar obrolannya jadi lebih ringan), it warms my heart because you can understand me without have the need to speak.

Sebetulnya masih banyak banget yang mau aku sampaikan tentang betapa senangnya disayangi oleh seorang Dillan Harmon TAPI kayanya ini udah panjang banget ya Kak jadi aku sudahi disini saja.. pokonya Kak Dillan doang yang TOP yang lain mah bengbeng! Nanti kita ketemu lagi ya, Kak. Bye bye~ 🥰

With lots of love, Ayaya. 🖤

- T.

aaa sorry for showing up kinda late on padlet 😞 anywaaayyy, dillan tuh dominannya berasa banget ya in the best way possible. also what stood out the most for me is how dillan really paid attention to what i put on the form. everything i hoped for, teasing, playing around, slipping in those little "bercanda" after making me nervous… and that literally drives me even crazier. 😬

i truly enjoyed every moment, both the heat and the laughter. and i hope one day we get to talk again! i'd love to spend more time with you, either in the same vibe or just casually. but most importantly, i hope you also have lots of moments that are just as fun and fulfilling for yourself. take it easy sometimes, santai-santai juga ya, because you deserve to enjoy as much as you give.

with lots of fondness,

c yang suka jamur itu :p

Monet planted gardens wherever he lived. When he rented this house at Vétheuil, he made arrangements with the owner to landscape the terraces, which lead down to the Seine.

Getting to know and loving Mas Dillan feels grounding and liberating. His love is the kind that gently knocks on your door, making you invite him over--for tea (unsweetened), or maybe more--talking A to Z without wanting the conversation to be over, leaving you with this kind of homey warmth. A steady presence beside you during the especially cold days and/or nights.

Mas Dillan is like a dandelion to me. Gently floating in the wind, landing wherever, sprouting new beginnings in his way. He sees things the way I never see them before. It's like he had seen it all--not pompously, more like " I felt I know you in my past lives". He makes me feel safe, loved, and toasty-like-french-toast warm. Sweet, familiar. That's how Mas Dillan is.

Thank you for showing me how I am in your eyes. You make me believe that I'm lovable--despite how broken I am. I hope my love feels tender forever in your hands.

All my love, Keyiy.

I knew you’d recognize me right away. Who else could it be, the one who used to be your neighbor, the person we’d randomly pass by, exchange a quick “hi,” and somehow ended up in that more than friends phase? Yeah, I’m talking about us as lovers, if we’re being honest (maaf ya, gengsi banget ngakuinnya, but I know you kinda missed that side of me :P).

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I’ve always known how nice and soft-hearted you are. It’s honestly no surprise that people like you, I did too, for all the right reasons. You’ve got this way of being warm and teasing at the same time, and it’s something I’ll always remember fondly.

Thank you for being you, for taking care, for making me laugh, and for knowing exactly when to tease me just enough to make things fun. You’re amazing, Dillan. Stay that way, okay? I’ll see you around. Still rooting for you to be your best, charming self as always.

Dillan such a sweet and playful lover. Yapper, that's why I love him hahaha. Aku sendiri yapper jadi obrolannya nggak tau mau sepanjang apa kemarin sampai akhirnya decided to reduce the intensity.

Kadang aku lupa kapan terakhir kali hidup, sampai ketemu kamu.

Ya, kamu sangat... "hidup", punya banyak hal yang dilakukan and so thriving. Bukan sekadar hidup, tetapi juga bersinar tapi nggak bikin silau sama sekali.

Biar begitu, I feel seen and comfortable around you. And you have the best way to satisfy me.

Honestly, I ran out of words to describe how wonderful you are and our times together. Maybe I haven't sober yet, not in the right state of mind, or bewitched by you.

Selamat, bisa mencairkan orang yang konon kaku seperti kanebo kering. Semoga nggak menyusahkan selama bersama kamu.

Kiranya segini dulu, terima kasih Dillan udah memberikan warna baru di hidup saya. Sehat-sehat selalu.

- Yours, T.

Diyan ini kalau dipikir memang seperti puppy. Bukan hanya dalam perihal energi, tapi dari segi bagaimana ia tampaknya selalu memantaskan diri untuk menjalani esok hari. For short - he seems to enjoy living a lot. This sound very random but it is something to admire, lhooo!

He's also very adorable, manis pula. Untung manisnya nggak yang manis banget seperti martabak dengan topping kebanyakan. Terima kasih juga ya, Dillan, sudah tidak ragu bahkan untuk menunjukkan sedih dan jatuhnya kamu ke aku meski kita baru ketemu.

Semoga Dillan selalu diikuti kebahagiaan yang berlipat ya!

and honestly.. I think when I’m with you, sleep just becomes.. optional? because HOW am I supposed to fall asleep when you’re RIGHT THERE, and— ADUH. my brain just goes full static mode like WAAARGH?? {me internally screaming but in a good way?!??}. beneran engga ketiduran tapi KEPIKIRAN?

I swear I tried to act normal but inside I was just !!!!! {screaming} the whole time. like how do you expect me to be calm?? it’s illegal. SNIFFS.

anyway yeah— thankyou for that. for the time, the feeling, the chaos in my chest that I can felt at the same time. I’m still thinking about it. probably will for a while, atau.. nggak bisa dilupain.. INTINYA, gitu deh. 😔☹️😵‍💫

JUJUR ADEK BINGUNG DIATAS ADEK NGOMONG APA, tapi abang paham pasti maksud adek. T_____T muah. I’ll see you later around..? coughs, coughs.