Reformation-21st century style (Block 2) by

Luke as Pope Paul III

2017-03-13 15:37:30 UTC

The church is the only true religious house. Some people may say we are wrong and unjust, but their arguments are entirely idiotic. They say we do not have a right to the money we ask. We as church leaders need money to support ourselves. Some people say that selling indulgences is wrong, but it truly is not. By donating money, you are supporting the church and deserve to be thanked by positions in the church, or forgiveness of sins. And all this about reformation is just absurd!
We had to call a council to combat these uprisings! They talk about predestination, but individuals have a role to play in their own faith. They all completely lied about salvation from sin. It is necessary to have faith, good works, and the sacraments. Also, they are now using newly printed bibles in differing languages, but the Latin bible is the only official scripture. The Catholic church is the only religious house you can trust.

Bobby as King Henry the VIII

2017-03-13 15:38:30 UTC

I am sick and tired of this stupid church intervening where it shouldn't. It has caused too many problems during my reign so far. I have 3 reasons why I'm breaking away. The Pope has been taxing me and my nobles. I will not pay these church taxes anymore. They have been negatively affecting my treasury for too long. In addition, I've had many wives. None of them have had sons I can use to inherit the throne after I'm dead. The Pope won't give me a divorce and I'm tired of killing them. Furthermore, the Pope gave bishops immunity, basically allowing them to do whatever the heck they want. All of these have caused me to create the Church of England. The Pope has historically unjustly dominated English politics. That all changes today. The monastaries have been disbanded and bishops kicked out. The Pope will no longer have power over my Politics! #JustEmbracedTheReformation

Malachi as Martin Luther

2017-03-13 15:38:30 UTC

I am tired of the Church doing things against the bible and God´s will. This link is to the 95 Theses. They are the solution to the problems in the Church. http://www.luther.de/en/95thesen.html
If I can´t get what I want from the church I will be forced to start my own church ):
So please if you could fix your corruption. @ThePope #FaithNotMoney #ForTheReformation

Jane as Martin Luther

2017-03-13 15:39:27 UTC

The Catholic church has a big issue. In fact, it isn't a singular issue, it's an extensive, ridiculously long list. It seems currently that we have lost every trait the bible is supposed to exemplify! Kindness, charity, honesty, it's been lost in the flurry of corrupt actions. My biggest issue currently has to be the selling and buying of indulgences. People are swayed to believe that by giving their hard earned money to the church they will be welcomed into heaven. It's an exploitation of the poor, which is especially wrong when the bible says, as Catholics, we must give to the poor. I believe that having faith in our God should be enough to grant us access to heaven. those who have faith will preform acts of salvation because God tells them so, They will not sin. The Pope isn't the one who judges us when we reach heaven, so why should we be paying him for a sense of security of access to heaven when we are really just supporting his greed? Think on that later today when you're in town, and you see a man preaching about the terrors of hell. Ask yourself if you really believe any of that.

Hannah as Catherine of Siena

2017-03-13 15:46:01 UTC

As a mystic, I believe that people should have a personal experience of God rather than a formal observance of Church practices. I have spent many long hours in prayer and written numerous letters about spiritual life (see my twitter for more). Because of this, I have come to the conclusion that Pope Gregory XI should return the papacy to Rome from Avignon.
--------UPDATE------------------
Pope Gregory XI has listened to my pleas! He has moved the papacy back to Rome! I still believe that the Church should change its ways, but I am grateful that the Pope has listened. I will continue to involve myself in Church affairs, though. Later, I will travel to Rome to attempt to end the Great Schism. Who's coming with me? Reply in the comments below.

Chloe E. as Catherine of Siena !

2017-03-13 15:46:31 UTC

Many others like me emphasize that personal experience of God more than formal observance of church practices. I have been spending all my time in prayer and I wrote many letters about spiritual life. Because of all the time and hard work I have put into the church, along with helping people prepare for the Reformation. I propose that Pope Gregory XI should return the papacy to Rome from Avignon. #GetThePapacyBack
If he does, everything will be a million times better. So make sure that the pope gets the papacy to Rome. And I'm like not trying to brag or anything, but I was declared a saint! Also, I'm going to travel to Rome to try to end the Great Schism! Who wants to help?? And make sure to follow me! #BetterThanYou #TheBest #Saintforlife

Nathanael as John Calvin

2017-03-13 15:46:39 UTC

We all know God is the only way to be saved. As well as that you cannot buy your way in God's grace. *Cough cough pope cough cough* Though I have some beliefs that differ from Martin Luther

Kidus as King Henry VII

2017-03-13 15:46:40 UTC

i broke away from the Catholic Curch because I couldn't divorce my wife.
#TalkAboutBigFits
Technically/Politically, I don't have to share my power or my Kingdomly wealth with the Church

Avery as King Henry VII

2017-03-13 15:46:44 UTC

The Catholic church has offended me on personal and political levels. The pope wouldn't even let me divorce my totally sucky wife. Now he just thinks he gets all the power! Like what has is wrong with him. IDK. Like i truly do not know. So, I totally just ended those monasteries. Now I got all the riches! Well after that bold move I was legit famous, and everyone was like "Lead us!", "You saved us!", and i was like, " I know i'm awesome." Later we formed the Church of England. It was totally swaggy and all! I also named myself the leader because i'm so chill and literally the bomb.com. #youwishyouwereme #takethatpope #i'mdabest
#can'ttouchthis #swagalicious #Anglicanchurch34' #lifesgreatnow #i'mRICH!!!!!!!!!! #$$$$$$ #brolegitman

Malek as Henry VIII

2017-03-13 15:46:50 UTC

I just left the Church and I will form the Church of England! The Church would not let me divorce with my first wife! I was also sick of sharing my wealth with the Church. Like, really????? I want to have my own money! Unlike the other reformer peoples, I was fine with the Church's ideas. I am finally gonna know what it's like to be head of the Church because in the Church of England, I AM GONNA BE AT THE HEAD!!!!!

Tristan as King Phillip IV

2017-03-13 15:47:08 UTC

The church is getting on my nerves!!! Like, you can't do anything without the church disapproving. The other day, I tried to tax the French clergy. I mean, they're still my subjects so they still have to pay tax!!! But nooooooo, since I tried to tax them, the pope thinks he can force ME out of the church? So he gets to tax people, but I can't!!! #TotesRidic! Yeah, no. So my soldiers are going to kidnap him! I'm definetly not going to do anything that would kill him or anything! By the way, does anyone know where to buy poison? Like, slow-working poison but lethal. Maybe take a couple

Dylan comme John Calvin

2017-03-13 15:47:17 UTC

Bonjour, je suis John Calvin, et je viens de fonder une religion impressionnante tous vous devriez joindre. En un mot, je suis d'accord avec les luthériens, disant que personne ne peut «forcer» Dieu à amener les gens au ciel. Je crois aussi à la prédestination, ou à l'adage que les gens ne peuvent pas changer les décisions de Dieu d'où les gens vont après la mort. Contrairement aux luthériens, je crois que toutes les personnes sont présentées des occasions de pécher, mais les gens destinés à aller au ciel ne sera pas.

#Rejoins moi
#Le pape suce
#Aucune indulgence

Katherine as Huldrych Zwingli

2017-03-13 15:47:28 UTC

One day, a while ago, I decided to read the work of one Martin Luther. This inspired me and I managed to persuade the local government of Zurich to ban any form of worship that was not based on the Bible. HAHA, by 1523 my town declared independence from the Catholic Church. I want Christians to focus on the Bible and the Bible alone. I started to set up churches of my own, banning the worship of relics, saints and images. My services are very simple with no music or singing either. In 1530, a war broke out between my amazing followers and the Catholics. I am typing this from the world beyond my grave because I died in that war. #PreachItMartinLuther #SWITZERLAND #I'mDead #95Theses #NoMoreReligiousStatues #SwissCheese

Bailey as King Henry VIII

2017-03-13 15:47:28 UTC

I'm King Henry the 11th. I was very disappointed when the pope denied my right to a divorce.I was so mad because she is VERY annoying. I'm also tired of having to co-rule with the Pope. We also have to share money. That means I can't even buy my fancy meals anymore, or pay for my 48 servants. I was so upset that I broke away from the church and formed a new one called The Church of England. Now that I am the soul head of England I can close down Catholic monasteries and took all the cash. Some people in my new church, such as William Tyndale, spoke strongly about our beliefs. He was a priest, scholar, and writer who had the pleasure of meeting with the great Martin Luther. But sadly he was arrested and then burned in 1536 (It was lit (ba dum ch)). Thanks to him we were able to right our own version of the bible.

Harrison as Huldrych Zwingli

2017-03-13 15:47:29 UTC

Hey guys, it´s ya boy Huldrych, and as you all know, I used to be a catholic priest, and I got the new testament exposed! But after reading the 95 theses, I was inspired by Luther and Erasmus, to write my own theses! I only have seven, but theyŕe my theses! I then asked the king to ban any worship that was not based on the bible itself. ´Cause, you know, the bible should be the best thing that happened to Christianity. Anything must be forbidden! This may include: Saints, relics, or even windows. It must be incredibly boring, with no singing or music. Forget changing the churches! I´ĺl just make my own. Well, off to Bern! I hope war does not break out between my followers and Catholics and kill me in 1530!
*death sounds*

Ivy as King Henry the 8th

2017-03-13 15:47:39 UTC

Ya'll, man I hate that stinkin' church. I wanted a male heir but my first wife didn't have a boy. So I wanted to remarry and the Pope was like, "Yah, NOOOO!" And then I was like, "Oh yah, well I'm just a gonna make my own church so HA!" Yah, I don't think he was to happy with me. So the I went off and married my second wife right behind Mr. Popey-head's back. Yah, I also broke away because the Pope was getting way to pushy and controlly. So then i just off and made my own church because, I mean, why not! Poof, Anglicanism! My church was pretty similar to the Catholic Church except for the fact that the monarch was the head church person. Yah that's right! #Anglicanismbedabest
Ok I'll admit my church is pretty similar cuz like we both believe that babtism washes away original sin. However, to please all me peeps, we picked up some Protestant ideas too. We decided that people need only believe in God to go to heaven. We also believed that the Bible was the ultimate source of authority, but I, the monarch, was the supreme translator. We even made two services to fit everybody's needs. There was the High Church service and Low Church service. High Church service was a little bit more formal and the Low Church service more laid back, but they pretty much believed the same things. And Anglicanism doesn't really care what type of Anglicanism you are as long as to answer to the monarch with pretty superb loyalty. Yah, so if you want to smack the Pope in his all-to stuck-up face, join Anglicanism!!!! #Monarchsthebest
P.S. My awesome church is also called the Church of England, so just yah, keep that in mind when you look us up on Twitscribe and Instasnap. Royal mike-drop!

Madilynn O. as Martin Luther

2017-03-13 15:47:42 UTC

As most people know, I am completely against a lot of the Catholic teachings. I mean, they are tricking these innocent people into PAYING them to be forgiven of sins, what is up with that!? I am a reformer, that is what I do, and I would like VERY much to reform this crazy jazz. This is why I have formed my own church to get AWAY from this awfulness. I believe that having good, amazing, simple FAITH is what saves you, but not in the Catholic church with these crazy people. I saw one speaker BURN himself, that's right, BURN himself, just to make a point, a STUPID point in my opinion. The Catholic church is just being an ignorant, simpleminded block of bricks that has no idea what it is talking about.
#Kindergarteners
Okay, enough of that rant, but I could go ON AND ON for hours about the dull-witted people of the Catholic church in this world and my life... COME ON PEOPLE, GET YOUR STUFF TOGETHER...

Paige as Desiderius Erasmus

2017-03-13 15:47:49 UTC

If you believe the Church shouldn't be reformed, you are an absolute dummy. You should check out my book; it's called The Praise of Folly, and it explains why you are so stupid. The Church abuses Christians everywhere, and it's time to take a stand. This is unfair to all of us. We need reform, and because I don't want to wait around as a priest for an unfair Church, you should read my book. Also, I'll have you know that that Martin Luther man absolutely STOLE my fame. I wrote a book and he wrote ninety-five whatevers and yet he gets all the publicity. Remember to buy my book so I can keep blogging and making all of you guys happy. Don't endorse this idiotic Church's incompetent ways. Due to your continued support, next week I'll be posting the first page of my comic, "Martin Luther is a Fame-Stealer." I hope you're excited, because I sure am! Thanks guys.
This is the one and only Desiderius Erasmus, signing off. :))))))
#thechurchisameaner #martinlutherissomeantome #meaner #church #reformation #martin #luther #martinluther #desiderius #erasmus #desideriuserasmus #ThePraiseofFolly #buymybookguys #itsworthitipromise #:)

Chloe B. as Huldrych Zwingli

2017-03-13 15:47:57 UTC

Hey guys its Huldrych and welcome back to my blog, "Keeping up with the reformation." This weeks theme is you biggest win this week. So I've recently been reading my share of the 95 theses by Martin Luther and I have discovered something, why can't we just FORBID any worship not based around the bible? So I took a long trip over to my local leaders and brought up the idea, and guess what! they decided to break away from the Catholic Bishop! A win for me I guess, now all I have to do is get people to stop worshiping images and Zurich is set to be the best Christians ever! And remember to join me next week when we discuss, "A Christmas catastrophe: Relics in the Church?!"

Garrison as John Calvin

2017-03-13 15:48:06 UTC

I really hate this catholic church and their big idea to pay your way into heaven. You should have to be a good person to get good things. If god doesn't think that you are good, why would he let you into his house if they pay an admission fee. Would you do that? Just let a murderer or a thief into your house if they give you 20 bucks? That does not make any sense. If you are going to heaven, the Lord will let you know through your life. Good business is one of the ways he will let you know. Let god rule over you and you will do well. Use your funds not on stupid things but on wise purchases if you can refrain to only do this, this is another way you might know you will get into heaven. Stupid church becoming corrupt. CALVIN OUT

Nathan Montpool as John Calvin

2017-03-13 15:48:30 UTC

I think there are many flaws in the catholic church's doctrines. First is indulgences. So you Catholics think that you can buy your way into heaven! Well you're wrong. It has been PROVEN that you can't buy your way into heaven, because you have already been chosen to go or you haven't. Before the beginning of time, God saw who would go to heaven and who wouldn't. You can't force God to do anything, because everyone has sinned and can't get into heaven without salvation, not good works. Next is your leadership. You think that the pope is higher than the BIBLE!! This is so wrong. The Bible is the highest doctrine of our religion. It should give us our customs and other beliefs, not the pope. I still haven't found anything, anywhere about even having a pope. You guys are wrong on SO MANY LEVELS. If you have a religious leader at all, they should be chosen by God and they should be the leader of your town or city because Gods law trumps all law. Thank You. #REKT

Lily As John Wycliffe

2017-03-13 15:48:33 UTC

I am an English scholar and I challenged the Church's right to money from England. I publicly questioned the pope's authority when the Great Schism began. #gome. I believed that the Bible was the supreme source of religious authority. #yeah. I translated the Bible from Latin to English so more common people could read it. My followers were prosecuted and sometimes burned to death. #notgoodfire. Apparently the Church burned my writings after I was dead. #rude

Madison as Queen Isabella

2017-03-13 15:48:38 UTC

I believe that the Church is the best way to worship God. All Jews should be persecuted because they are not as important as we are. My husband and I used the Spanish Inquisition to persecute them all. We also believe that any Protestant is a heretic and should be burned at the stake for not believing exactly as we Catholics do. Martin Luther, John Calvin, and other protestant leaders should not have been allowed to continue with this non-sense known as the Reformation. The Church should not be overpowered by people who don't even know if Martin Luther and other educated people are telling them the truth.

Nathan (Smith) as Pope Paul III

2017-03-13 15:49:26 UTC

Ok, I'm done with these Protestants filling my social medias (please like, subscribe, follow and friend my btw) with "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE SELLING INDULGENCES!!1!1!1!1!1111!" First off, you accidentally have caps lock on. Second, I am going to start a council to get this straight. I will call it the council of Trent, after the city it will be located in. It's not easy to come up with a more creative name when your browsing Tumblr in you pajamas ok?

Ok, first order of business, we are fixing this "predestination." I may be on the Catholic side of the argument, but the Protestants admittedly knew what they were doing there, so if u disagree than u can 1v1 me in Call of Duty, and I'll 360 noscope u in the face. Next, we must acknowledge that the Bible is the ultimate source of religious authority. I mean, we wrote it for a reason.

Alright, every thing looks good now, so please stop spamming my Twitter, and stop using caps lock so much. Pope Paul out!

Satchel as Queen Isabella

2017-03-13 15:49:32 UTC

We should all be worshiping God, and the church is the best way to do that. Protestantism is NOT okay, my husband and I will do the best of our abilities to end Protestantism. Every single Jew should be persecuted and all of you are estupido. Reformation leaders like Martin Luther and John Calvin have no idea what they're talking aboutg

Mike as Desiderius Erasmus

2017-03-13 15:49:52 UTC

I was made secretary to the Bishop at Cambrai and went on a trip to Paris. I meet many humanist including Sir Thomas More and Colet. They informed me to look into the Bible. I published two books that was critical of the way the church currently handled religious matters. Then I really found how corrupted the church actually was. I never did want to split from the Church, I want it to fix it from within. Though i still support Martin Luther's 95 theses, but when he wanted to split, I am completely against him. In the end i sided with the Church because it finally fixed itself.

Jesse as Martin Luther

2017-03-13 15:49:56 UTC

The church should follow the the Bible instead of going against it. The church does not care about the people at all, they just care about the money and do not follow God's laws. This is outrageous, they need to change many things in the church quickly, the church is corrupted. I have written the 95 Theses because the church is corrupted and only cares about the money.

Anabelle as Ignatius of Loyola

2017-03-13 15:51:03 UTC

While many of you protestants claim the holy Catholic church, it is You that is the problem. You are turning the people of the catholic church (mainly the poor) away from the pope, who should be actively supported. The only way to stop this anarchy is to come and listen to us, the Society of Jesus. Our schools and collages are the true word of the lord and pope, not the skirmish of protestants.

Grant as Martin Luther

2017-03-13 15:51:06 UTC

Hi guys it Martin Luther here and i'm telling you not to listen to the church. They're are trying to rip you off and take your money to go to heaven. You do not have to give up your money to go to heaven. You need to have faith and believe in god. I wrote the 95 theses to tell you not to believe in the rules the church says. They are thief's and just want money. Go home and feed your children with the money that you deserve you can do a lot more with that money don't waste it on false advertisement and believe in me and don't listen to the church.
#TheChurchSucks

Cate Campbell as Martin Luther

2017-03-13 15:55:14 UTC

Don listen to @Pope. Anyone who has so little dignity as to excommunicate someone who is simply trying to work in God's name should not be heeded no matter what position he is stating his stance on. Indulgences are an immoral practice because it is by God´s mercy and love that we sinners experience salvation, not by giving money to a greedy, no good, immmoral man, who lies about being a man of God. You are no man of the God I know. Also @Pope seems to view himself as the one and only religious authority, where as that is rightfully the Bible, the true and Holy word of God. Nothing he can say will convince me otherwise. SAVE YOURSELVES FROM THE UNJUST CRUELTY OF THE CHURCH.

#howmanyfollowersyougotnow #saveyourmoneyandsaveyourself #Popefail #MoonlightnotLaLaLand

Malachi as Martin Luther... Again

2017-03-13 15:56:11 UTC

Darn I was just excommunicated guess I have to start my own church now #Lutheranism #WorshipOnSundays10:00-12:00

Malachi as Martin Luther... Again

2017-03-13 15:59:24 UTC

@IgnatiusOfLoyola The poor specifically to not need to be in the Catholic Church because many don´t have enough money to afford indulgences that don even work!

Malachi as Martin Luther...Again

2017-03-13 16:05:11 UTC

Geez Pope stop trying to hunt me down. I just want to worship in peace

Jane as Martin Luther (Again)

2017-03-13 16:07:49 UTC

The Protestant fandom needs to calm down! Stop spamming the pope in caps lock! He deserves hate but be intelligent, don't make fools of yourselves! We need to represent ourselves well!

#smh #beintelligent

Dylan as John Calvin (English translation)

2017-03-13 16:11:05 UTC

Hello, I'm John Calvin, and I've just founded an awesome religion all you should join. In a word, I agree with the Lutherans, saying that no one can "force" God to bring people to heaven. I also believe in predestination, or the adage that people can not change God's decisions from where people go after death. Unlike the Lutherans, I believe that all people are presented opportunities to sin, but people destined to go to heaven will not be

Malachi as Martin Luther... Yes Another One

2017-03-13 16:11:31 UTC

Everyone tries to criticize me. Please try me

Jane as Martin Luther

2017-03-13 16:11:47 UTC

It seems we have a troll, probably coming from that 5cham place. They're spamming serious posts with "yass, totally lit bruchacho" I would suggest not responding.