Our boiler was being a pill

No heat, it’s true

We froze through and through

Until a plumber came by with a drill

You should know what I like to eat

No broccoli or cheese

But remember, please, 

That Chocolate is my favorite sweet. 

It’s the most wonderful time of the year 

All around us is laughter and cheer 

So complete your self-assessments 

And set next year’s commitments 

As the PMP review draws near 

That only came up to my knee

When I put on the star

It bent over so far

That the lights I could no longer see. 

Let’s race down the ski run.

We can drink hot coco at night,

and have a snowball fight.

Enjoy winter before it is done!

As the bad, orange boogeyman has vexed us with such confounding trifles!

But can we please—for a moment!—turn off the Facebook, the Twitter;

And look all around to see the dazzling  holiday lights a-flicker?

To be reminded that the new year can provide us with joy and things delightful!

The kids want the latest craze

I have time off to take

Got waaay too much to bake

Snow is falling, so instead let’s play! 

      With holiday craze
And everyone seems to be squeezin'*

*as in squeezed in lines, parking lots, etc.  It rhymes. And thus...squeezin' :-)

Cookies, cakes, and of course pudding.

A little rum here,

A little rum there,

Uh wait, what was I *hic!* doing?

Waiting for snowflakes that have just enough sticky

But we’ve got our boxes

And we’ve got our bins

If it snows, then we go, we can’t be that picky!

Nor rest in Jerusalem’s crib;

Give gifts from the heart;

Intangible bows;

For what tomorrow brings, who knows . . .

This time of year, not a calorie the mouth misses,

Come January, the pants will go on tighter

And I'll feel the urge (and guilt) to eat lighter

But until then, 'tis it not the season of sweetest blisses?

Who secretly ate all his family’s Christmas Crack*

When they suspected it was him,

They went out on a limb,

And secured him safely with a tack.

 

*Google it!
**I couldn't resist one with a twist, ha!

 

To drive in it

This one nitwit

Went ahead and crashed his Lexus