Kill me

Throw me into the dust

Make me rust

Look into my eyes 

Hear my cries

Touch me

Let my child flee

Save her

Don’t save me

Kill me

(April 18th, 1933) I was transferred to work at the new concentration camp today. I saw so many Jews shivering from the cold, barefoot amongst the fresh snowfall, while I walked by in my uniform and my warm down coat. The Jews looked at me with eyes so forlorn, so wounded, I felt an excruciating prick in my heart. My body became paralyzed. My eyes shifted to a young and frail mother who was wearing nothing. Nothing at all. I glanced down to her side. Her child clung to the mother’s leg, wrapped up so tightly in her prison gown. Cold, certainly, but protected. My heart wept for the mother. I wondered how someone could be so selfless, even for their offspring, but my eyes ripped away from the child and my gaze cast over their heads as I shouted out their orders. 

My job was not to feel sorry for them. The Fuhrer assigned me to this camp to protect and serve Germany. In him, I must trust.  

(April 20th, 1933) I didn’t write yesterday because it was a heartbreaking day at work. I watched a Jew get shot, at point blank range. They didn’t deserve it. And I just stood there, I didn’t speak up. I might have been able to save their life yesterday and instead, their blood is stained in the snow. At times like this, I truly wonder what kind of man I really am. At what point does an order become something I can’t follow? If I leave, I could get killed for knowing too much. But if I stay, isn’t that worse?

Your father and I brought you into the world at a time where all of Europe is suffering at the hands of Adolf Hitler, the self-proclaimed fuhrer. He has created camps of death where Jews and people who do not fit into his mold of “a perfect aryan race” are sent to suffer and die at their neglectful hands. 

We sent you away so you could be free of such suffering and your innocence could remain pure.

 

Please, Ariella, I beg of you, learn to let your father and I go. Find happiness with your new family. Make a beautiful family of your own and be strong my Ariella. Life will bring challenges and sad moments. You will make it through; nothing is impossible for you, dear. 

Please tell my grandchildren, if you are ever so blessed to be able to have them, that their grandma and grandpa loved them so dearly, from even before they existed. Share with them stories of love and laughter, always. 

I hope this letter finds you well, my darling. Always know that your father and I love you more than anything else in this world or in the next. 

Love, Mommy 

21 March, 1934

Give my favorite, tattered, well loved blanket to my mom, so she can feel wrapped in my embrace. 

Tell my dad that I love him and that everything will be okay.

Give all of my stuffed animals to my cousins and tell them I’ll always be with them.

Thank the crossing guard for me, she always made sure I was able to cross the street safely.  I never got around to it. 

Tell my sisters, if they’re still alive, that they can finally have all of my clothes and my shoes. 

(January 30th, 1933) 
BREAKING- Adolf Hitler is Chancellor of Germany! Hitler is the 24th leader of Germany. He is appointed by President Paul Von Hindenburg, beating out opponent Franz von Papen. 

Franz von Papen appointed Vice-Chancellor under Hitler’s Nazi Party rule. 

Despite the Nazi party not being the most popular among the German people, Hitler’s goal is to unify Germany through having only one party throughout all of the Fatherland. 

0330: Rise 

0400: Prepare first meal 

0500: Cook meal

0600: Serve meal to prisoners and eat

0730: Clean kitchen and serving area

0900: Prepare second meal

1100: Distribute meal to prisoners

1200: Eat meal 

1330: Clean serving area

1515: Prepare dinner 

1700: Serve last meal

1830: Eat dinner

1900: Clean kitchen and serving area

2125: Sleep

Ms. Lydia also shows her strength by saying simply, “They couldn’t remove my soul”, in reference to the Nazi’s attempts to dehumanize all victims and survivors of the Holocaust. Ms. Lydia shows her strength and capacity to forgive in such a way that many could not fathom, especially I. She so carefully and thoughtfully utters, “All of us have the capacity to be sadistic and horrible to other people. We manage not to do it…. The potential for destruction is in all of us.”  Lydia’s statement exemplifies her sense of understanding of how such a terrible event like the Holocaust could happen. 

I feel honored to have watched and heard Ms. Lydia’s story and am proud to share my thoughts on her interview.

She is survived by Aunt Josephine and possibly other family members in the death camps. 

Anna was a kind, old, wise soul who always lended a helping hand to all those in need. She had a desire to change the world for the better, even in a time such as this. She loved her family members and friends as if they were all family. 

Anna was and will continue to be a shining light in the lives of many as they face difficult times. Anna’s legacy and drive to implement good will not be forgotten, but honored. 

A funeral service will be held by her Aunt Josephine tomorrow, April 14, 1943 at sundown. All are invited to attend and pay their respects for such a wonderful soul who was lost too soon.

A tale of woe, of love, of loss

I was beaten, broken, and bruised

Calling, calling, calling out to God

Help me help me now

Before I die 

I look to see flowers 

I find only weeds

I look to see the sun

I find only clouds

I look to see warmth

I find only cold

I look to see smiles

I find only tears

I could sing this song, a broken tale, forevermore

A tale of woe, of love, of loss

I was beaten, broken, and bruised

Calling, calling, calling out to God

Help me help me now

Before I die

 

 The burden sits upon my shoulders

I run, I run, I run

But I cannot run away

My feet bound to the dust

The wind blows it away

But I’m still here

I could sing this song, a broken tale, forevermore

A tale of woe, of love, of loss

I was beaten, broken, and bruised

Calling, calling, calling out to God

Help me help me now

Before I die