Dasha: On the journey to increase our already growing sphere of influence in Eastern Europe, our (paranoid megalomaniac) leader Joseph Stalin is going to the Yalta Conference, also known as the Crimean Conference, from February 2-11, 1945, at Livadia Palace, in Livadia, Crimea, which is in southern Ukraine. 

Eegan: Our goal? To fix the world forever in post-war Europe? How do we do it? First of all, we will get the unconditional surrender of idiotic dictator Adolf Hitler, leader of fascist Germany. After he broke the pact we made in 1939 by invading our great country, we must exact our revenge by teaming up with Great Britain and the United States of America, as it is in our common interests to put an end to this tyrannical madness. 

Dasha: We have had a strong hand in the war by 1941, since we had already invaded Germany and were about 40 miles outside of Berlin. We will be the first ones to take Berlin, where the Allies haven’t even reached the Rhine River. They are still trekking France to reach Germany, due to their lack of a plan and foolish leadership. In contrast, our armies are strong and have undergone strict training so that they are the most disciplined of warriors.

Eegan: In this Yalta Conference, we hope gain a sphere of influence. We are looking for satellite states, since we want a buffer zone for the rest of Europe to make sure that we aren’t going to get invaded again, after that horrible Hitler’s cowardly invasion. So, to get what we want, we have come to several agreements. 

Dasha: We have agreed to join the United Nations, along with the United States, but we with a secret agreement to create a security council where we have veto power. In addition, we have formed an agreement to assist the United States with an invasion of Japan, if necessary, in exchange for the land we lost in the Russo-Japan war. We will also separate Mongolia from China, and get it recognized as one of our satellite states by the United States. So, basically, we become an even greater superpower and landholder. 

Eegan: We have also gained control over a large part of eastern Germany, so the land we take up as doubled in size! With all this new land, the United States has grown wary of our power, and have insisted that Joseph Stalin hold free elections in his newly gained territory. Freedom and Communism for everyone! Hurray! 

Dasha: So, as you all must realize by now, Stalin is great, The Soviet Union is great, and the Yalta Conference as turned entirely in our favor. Goodnight.