It was a fun occasion for club members to exhibit our own art pieces, but for me, it was also a test i need to pass. The art gallery was actually a challenge assigned to us applicants by our seniors, as a test to see who would qualify for positions on the club’s executive board. I was one of the applicants, and out of all positions, I applied for the most challenging one: the president.

To be honest, at first, I treated that art gallery like a competition, and all the other applicants were just merely competitors i needed to surpass. And in that period of time, I absolutely hated the job - I hated staying up after 12 for group meetings, I hated charting all of our spendings in a boring excel board, I hated having to constantly push myself to outshine others. I developed all kinds of strategic ways to gain the favors of the current executive board: texting them every once in a while, acting extroverted all the time, and always volunteer to take up tasks. It was so draining for me, and I even considered quitting because I thought, maybe it wasn't worth it. I felt like a plastic barbie doll.

There was this one girl who also applied for the president role. She was smart, she knew how to give out tasks logically, and she was just very... suiting for the role of a president. I was so jealous of her, and I might have unconsciously snapped at her a few times. Eventually, i realized that, in reality, I was just an insecure person. I know very well about what i'm flawed at but I didn't know how to stop comparing myself to other people.

Then an anonymous feedback board was brought to the public. I was so nervous opening it, because I thought people would just eat me alive. And yes, there were a lot of comments pointing out my flaws - being a bit too controlling, or not knowing how to share tasks evenly. I felt so exposed. But then I came across one comment that really stuck with me. It said: “An is the most hardworking person I have ever met. I adore her the most.” I honestly didn’t expect that. I didn’t know someone actually saw me that way.

That made me step back and see others differently, too. I realized that everyone had weaknesses mentioned on that board. People I once thought were perfect actually weren’t. They had their own struggles, mistakes, and insecurities. I finally understood that no one is perfect, and I needed to stop projecting myself onto this fake image of “perfect people” who don’t even exist in real life.

After that, I began to take a step back and look at things differently. Instead of treating the art gallery as a competition, I began to genuinely enjoy it. I laughed more during the meetings, I had fun helping put up the paintings, and I felt proud of being part of something bigger than myself. One of my biggest and proudest contributions to the art gallery was my idea of adding installation art through out the venue, and that was the key to our gallery's outstanding success. The seniors said my idea was brilliant - our gallery was not like anything there was before. And that's when I realised: It wasn’t about outshining anyone anymore - it was about making the gallery meaningful.

In the end, I did get the president role. But surprisingly, that wasn’t even the best part. The best part was realizing that I could just be myself. I didn’t need to force myself into some “perfect leader” mold. Being real was enough.