Offred starts wondering about the night when sitting down at the window seat of her bedroom, where she starts describing it as well as Serena’s garden with such details. But then, she realizes Nick is out there; both catch a glimpse at each other and Offred portrays what could be a romantic movement between them. 

Afterwards, a flashback is shown; Offred’s remembering the day where Luke, her daughter and her were supposed to escape, as Gilead was already taking place. They weren't taking much to their "trip" as it would be too suspicious. But then, their cat seemed to pose a problem, as they couldn't give "her" away, so Luke decided to kill "it". Offren realizes that the cat died for nothing, as either the neighbor or the passport forger betrayed them to the authorities; but isn't sure as she doesn't remember the look on their faces.

Ending this flashback, Offred has decided to pray. She remembers the days at the Red Center when Aunt Lydia was very strict regarding the handmaid's positions during this sacred moment. 

In contrast with the other handmaids, Offred was praying for her family's safety, instead of fertility. She acknowledges that God (You) didn't want all this to happen and imagines his frustration regarding her situation. Offred's depression and desperation starts showing; she doesn't know how to keep living as the bargain is too much for here, to a point in which she wishes God answers to her as she’s already thinking about commiting suicide by hanging herself on the closet hooks. She feels empty and that’s why uses the phrase “How can I keep on living” because she doesn’t know what else to do.

 
POV:
Offred's already evaluating extreme solutions to her handmaid's problem, which includes suicide. One of her main reasons to keep living may be the hope to see her family again, as also, what the Commander intended with their secret reunions; to keep her distracted so she would not hang herself.  
At the end of chapter 30, she's already losing her memory and the hope to live. But, maybe her reunion with Ofglen in the previous chapters about joining the revolution would change her mind about the topic.
Regarding her relationship with the Commander, I think they will be getting closer as he's "satisfying" her needs in order to keep Offred alive; apparently, not in a romantic way, but a friendly one. But, Offred's foreshadowing that Serena is eventually going to find out about their reunions, which is going to lead to a worst relationship between Serena and Offred.

 Offred: She is really scared and she’s losing fate. I think she would give up her meeting with the commander, but she can also use them to gain information for the rebellion and asking more thing from him like the hand lotion.
Commander: I think the commander will innocently continue his meeting with Offred, not knowing what can come. He thinks Offred has no bad intentions, but maybe she’s trying to get information. 
Serena Joy: She would probably find out about Offred and her husband relation, which will probably create a problem between them. 

Offred looks out the window at night. She sees Nick and feels an attachment to him that she is unable to act on. She is confused about her desire for Nick because she doesn't know what happened to Luke.

She recalls Luke killing their cat the night before they attempted to go. They couldn't take it or leave it to proclaim their absence. 

She wonders who betrayed the family by turning them in. She has trouble recalling the faces of people she has lost and feels bad about it. She prays to God with these ideas in mind. Unlike the Red Center prayers, in which the women ask to be made empty and then filled with kids, Offred prays for help, forgiveness, and the strength to keep living. 

I think that Offred gains a better understanding of the mental process involved in inflicting another person's agony or death as a result of the cat incident. Because bringing harm to another creature requires first erasing its individuality. Offred's experience as a Handmaid echoes the experiences of the cat and the hung individuals with their faces hidden in this instance.

In the other hand, the commander will most likely continue to have contact with Offred, and tell her information she should not know. Serena Joy would find out at any moment about the commander's relationship with Offred. This detail make stay with the doubt, but it makes me keep reading this novel.

During the night, Offred is staring the night through her window, until Nick appears outside and they cross eyes, making the atmosphere feel tense until Nick walks off disappearing from her vision, as Offred explains, she needs the feeling of being touched and wanted a hug. After this happened, Offred remembers the time when she and Luke try to escape to Canada, and described how in the process to escape, Luke had to kill their cat because it may cause problem to them, which later on, wasn't even necessary as they were caught on their attempt to escape. In the end, she begins to pray like Aunt Lydia had teached her, only to realize how lonely she truly felt.
 
 POV:
 Offred: After knowing that the previous Handmaid hanged herself after Serena found about a similar relationship between her and the Commander, Offred would be afraid and stop visiting the Commander, as she could also keep looking because she feels lonely and keep looking for human interaction.
 
 Commander: The commander will likely keep on calling Offred and playing scrabble with him but he will start to give her information that she shouldn´t know, information that´s useful for the rebellion.

 Serena Joy: She is likely to know as the story progress, about the affair between Offred and the Commander, but its difficult to know what she will do, most likely because of the few appearances in the story she has but it makes me curious about what she will do.