<?xml version="1.0"?>
<rss version="2.0">
   <channel>
      <title>Vũ Minh Quang - IELTS Writing self-training by Quang Vu</title>
      <link>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6</link>
      <description></description>
      <language>en-us</language>
      <pubDate>2024-09-04 07:53:39 UTC</pubDate>
      <lastBuildDate>2024-11-14 01:06:16 UTC</lastBuildDate>
      <webMaster>hello@padlet.com</webMaster>
      <image>
         <url></url>
      </image>
      <item>
         <title></title>
         <author>vuquang2030</author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3101696833</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<p><br/></p><p>The given bar chart compares the proportion of recycled rates from four different materials over a 2-5 year period, starting from 1992. Overall, it is evident that all these groups recorded a rising trend throughout the period, with the most significant being glass, while plastic was the least.</p><p><br/></p><p>To specify, glass ranked in second place in the recycling trend in 1992 at around 18%. These figures doubled in 1997 compared to the initial point, ending in 2002 by dominating the list at roughly 48%. Likewise, paper had a similar trend pattern to glass, starting at approximately 17% in 1992 and finishing in 2002 in second place with 38%.</p><p><br/></p><p>On the other hand, at the bottom of the list in 1992 was plastic at 10%. Although these figures increased slightly by 1997, they remained the same in 2002, ending last on the list at 12%. Meanwhile, despite ranking first in 1992, the recycling rate of cans saw a drop in 1997 but bounced back in 2002 to roughly 28%.</p><p><br/></p><p><br/></p><p>•────────•°𓆩☀️𓆪°•────────•</p><p>🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴</p><p>✨<strong>TR: 7; CC: 7; VC: 7; GR: 6</strong>✨</p><p>The given bar chart compares the&nbsp;<s>proportion of recycled rates</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>wc:  "recycling rates" hoặc "proportion of materials recycled" nhé</strong>&nbsp;from four different materials over a&nbsp;<s>2-5 year period</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>gr: khoảng thời gian từ 1992 đến 2002 là 10 năm, "a 10-year period" </strong>, starting from 1992. Overall, it is evident that all these groups recorded a rising trend throughout the period, with the most significant being glass, while plastic was the least.</p><p>To specify, glass ranked in second place in the recycling trend in 1992 at around 18%. These figures doubled in 1997 compared to the initial point, ending in 2002 by dominating the list at roughly 48%. Likewise, paper had a similar&nbsp;<s>trend pattern</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>wc: "trend" đã bao hàm "pattern" rồi, em chỉ cần viết "trend" thôi</strong>, starting at approximately 17% in 1992 and finishing in 2002 in second place with 38%.</p><p>On the other hand, at the bottom of the list in 1992 was plastic at 10%. Although these figures increased slightly by 1997, they remained the same in 2002, ending last on the list at 12%. Meanwhile, despite ranking first in 1992, the recycling rate of cans saw a drop in 1997 but bounced back in 2002 to roughly 28%.</p><p><br/></p><p>IMPROVED: The given bar chart compares <strong>recycling rates</strong> from four different materials over a <strong>two-to-five-year</strong> period, starting in 1992. Overall, it is clear that all categories showed an upward trend, with glass exhibiting the most significant growth, while plastic lagged behind.</p><p>Specifically, glass came second in recycling rates in 1992 at approximately 18%. By 1997, this figure had doubled, ultimately topping the list at 48% by 2002. Paper followed a similar trajectory, starting at around 17% in 1992 and rising to second place by 2002 with 38%.</p><p>Conversely, plastic, which started at 10% in 1992, only saw a slight increase by 1997 and remained unchanged at 12% in 2002, holding the lowest rank. In contrast, cans ranked first in 1992, but their recycling rate dropped by 1997 before rebounding to about 28% in 2002.</p>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="https://padlet-uploads.storage.googleapis.com/1483001203/f88948b78be966b4bf0ec9ddada91894/image.png" />
         <pubDate>2024-09-04 07:54:56 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3101696833</guid>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title>Some people think that people should be given the right to use fresh water as they like. Others believe governments should strictly control the use of fresh water. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.



</title>
         <author>vuquang2030</author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3164816954</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴</p><p>✨<strong>TR: 65-; CC: 65-; VC: 65; GR: 65</strong>✨</p><p><strong>Corrected Essay with Explanations:</strong></p><p>When it comes to the usage of fresh water <s>for citizens</s> 💥 <strong>wc: cụm "for citizens" không cần thiết ở đây, vì nước sạch liên quan đến tất cả mọi người </strong>, it has always been a <s>hotly-debated</s> 💥 <strong>sp: không cần gạch nối-&gt; hotly debated</strong> topic. While some are inclined to believe that people should use <s>these sources of water</s> 💥 <strong>wc: lặp ý  -&gt; fresh water</strong> in a limited and controlled manner <s>through governments</s> 💥 <strong>wc: cụm từ này không tự nhiên -&gt; regulated by governments</strong>, others contend that there should be no boundaries on individuals <s>using water</s> 💥 <strong>gr  -&gt; on water usage by individuals</strong>. This essay will analyze these viewpoints before <s>giving</s> 💥 <strong>wc  -&gt; presenting</strong> my opinion, which posits that the key lies not in a one-size-fits-all approach, but rather in <s>adjusting based on different situations</s> 💥 <strong>wc -&gt; adapting to different circumstances</strong>.</p><p>On one side of the debate, many hold that limiting freshwater will prevent it from being wasted, especially since <s>the activity of factories</s> 💥 <strong>wc  -&gt; industrial activities</strong> and climate change are making fresh water scarcer than ever before. Indeed, water, in recent decades, has been used uncontrollably by many people because of their lack of awareness, leading to thousands of tons of water being wasted every year. <s>By applying this method, studies have shown that</s> 💥 <strong>gr odd -&gt; Studies have shown that by applying this method</strong> not only has the percentage of water being wasted <s>reduced</s> 💥 <strong>gr: cần dùng dạng bị động-&gt; been reduced</strong> significantly, but also the awareness of residents has improved over time. Granted, limiting water may bring challenges, such as being inconvenient for residents, but the benefits are invaluable.</p><p>In contrast to this stance, opponents counter that fresh water is a basic human need, and limiting it will violate the fundamental rights of individuals. Access to clean water is crucial not only for survival but also for the development of communities and economies. Indeed, people have varying needs for water, so restricting the amount of water would be disadvantageous, especially for local businesses that involve heavy water usage. Undoubtedly, many countries have faced opposition from the majority of their citizens when <s>the government</s> 💥 <strong>gr tăng cc đi -&gt; their governments</strong> proposed the idea of limiting water usage. Unless water is distributed appropriately based on people’s needs, even the best-laid plans for this approach may not unfold as hoped.</p><p>In conclusion, despite the potential environmental improvements, I believe that the usage of water should <s>be free and unlimited for people</s> 💥 <strong>gr: mâu thuẫn với luận điểm ban đầu về việc cần điều chỉnh theo tình huống, nên viết lại cho phù hợp -&gt; be managed based on individual nations' circumstances</strong>. As long as problems related to distribution or raising awareness still exist, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for all nations.</p><p><br/></p><p><strong>REVISED:</strong></p><p>When it comes to the usage of fresh water, it has always been a hotly debated topic. While some are inclined to believe that people should use fresh water in a limited and controlled manner regulated by governments, others contend that there should be no boundaries on water usage by individuals. This essay will analyze these viewpoints before presenting my opinion, which posits that the key lies not in a one-size-fits-all approach, but rather in adapting to different circumstances.</p><p>On one side of the debate, many hold that limiting freshwater will prevent it from being wasted, especially since industrial activities and climate change are making fresh water scarcer than ever before. Indeed, water, in recent decades, has been used uncontrollably by many people because of their lack of awareness, leading to thousands of tons of water being wasted every year. Studies have shown that by applying this method, not only has the percentage of water being wasted been reduced significantly, but also the awareness of residents has improved over time. Granted, limiting water may bring challenges, such as being inconvenient for residents, but the benefits are invaluable.</p><p>In contrast to this stance, opponents counter that fresh water is a basic human need, and limiting it will violate the fundamental rights of individuals. Access to clean water is crucial not only for survival but also for the development of communities and economies. Indeed, people have varying needs for water, so restricting the amount of water would be disadvantageous, especially for local businesses that involve heavy water usage. Undoubtedly, many countries have faced opposition from the majority of their citizens when their governments proposed the idea of limiting water usage. Unless water is distributed appropriately based on people’s needs, even the best-laid plans for this approach may not unfold as hoped.</p><p>In conclusion, despite the potential environmental improvements, I believe that the usage of water should be managed based on individual nations' circumstances. As long as problems related to distribution or raising awareness still exist, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for all nations.</p><p>▌ꪑకꪶꪗỉꫀꪶᡶక _𝒽𝓊𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓁𝓎.𝒶𝓂𝓈@𝑔𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝓂 ▌</p>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="" />
         <pubDate>2024-10-11 12:14:33 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3164816954</guid>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title>Large companies should pay higher salaries to CEOs and executives, compared to other workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?</title>
         <author>vuquang2030</author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3164817475</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴<br>✨<strong>TR: 7; CC:6; VC:6; GR:6</strong>✨</p><p>When it comes to the wages of executives in big companies, the way they are arranged has always been a hotly-debated topic. Some are inclined to believe that&nbsp;<s>chiefs</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>wc: "chiefs" không trang trọng lắm,  dùng "executives" hoặc "senior managers" nhé</strong>&nbsp;deserve to receive high pay compared to subordinates. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with&nbsp;<s>the aforementioned viewpoint</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>wc: "aforementioned viewpoint" nghe hơi cầu kỳ, gk có thể ko thích đâu, viết "this viewpoint" hoặc "this opinion"</strong>&nbsp;due to&nbsp;<s>the contribution to the success of their organizations through their hard work, together with serving as motivators for their employees</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>exp: câu này dài và khó hiểu, em nên tách ra hoặc diễn đạt lại cho rõ ràng hơn</strong>.</p><p>One practical argument in support of higher salaries for&nbsp;<s>chiefs</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>wc:   "executives"</strong>&nbsp;has to do with&nbsp;<s>the hard-work pays off</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>gr: cụm từ này không phù hợp ở đây, có thể viết "the principle that hard work pays off"</strong>. Specifically,&nbsp;<s>all workers have the same starting point in their companies, climbing each step to achieve higher rankings</s>💥&nbsp;<strong>exp: không phải tất cả nhân viên đều có cùng điểm xuất phát, ý không chính xác</strong>.&nbsp;<s>Unsurprisingly, these people have worked seamlessly to stand at their current position</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>wc: "seamlessly" dùng cho liên tục ko lỗi, -&gt; "worked tirelessly" hoặc "worked diligently"</strong>, which makes them valuable to the company. Indeed, studies have shown that, normally, it takes an intern more than&nbsp;<s>11,000 hours of working continuously</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>exp: số liệu ảo, khó tin, em có thể nói "years of experience"</strong>&nbsp;to become a senior. Additionally, executives play a critical role in shaping the vision and direction of their companies. In other words, their ability to lead teams, inspire innovation, and drive growth is essential for long-term success. Therefore, it is sensible for executives to receive high salaries, not only&nbsp;<s>the hard-work they make</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>gr: nên là "for the hard work they do"</strong>, but also&nbsp;<s>the contributions for their company</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>gr:  "their contributions to their company"</strong>.</p><p>Despite this, critics argue that inequality in wages undeniably comes with its share of problems. Although this reward is deserved for CEOs, it also&nbsp;<s>provides an appropriate environment to make them become lazier</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>exp: câu này không rõ nghĩa,  "may lead them to become complacent"</strong>.&nbsp;<s>Especially since the work of higher managers don’t have much compared to others</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>gr-&gt; "especially since higher managers may not have as much workload compared to others"</strong>. However, this line of reasoning fails to acknowledge that these concerns are often exaggerated due to critics’ biases. Despite having less direct work, these managers have to manage&nbsp;<s>all of the individuals in their team</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>wc: có thể viết "their entire team"</strong>, making them take on more responsibility than ever. Even if this reasoning poses challenges, proactive efforts to&nbsp;<s>stricter rules for chiefs can still outweigh the drawbacks</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>exp: câu này không rõ nghĩa, diễn đạt lại (để tiếng Việt cô xem)</strong>.</p><p>In conclusion, CEOs or&nbsp;<s>chiefs</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>executives</strong>&nbsp;<s>are deserving to receive</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>gr: ko soát np trc khi nộp gì cả "deserve to receive"</strong>&nbsp;higher wages compared to their&nbsp;<s>fellows</s>&nbsp;💥&nbsp;<strong>wc: "fellows" là bạn mà, nên dùng "subordinates" hoặc "employees"</strong>&nbsp;due to their efforts and contributions to the company. This reward should be encouraged to motivate other workers to look up to their bosses.</p><p><br/></p><p><strong>REVISED AND RECREATED:</strong></p><p>The compensation of executives in large corporations has long been a&nbsp;<strong>contentious issue</strong>, sparking debates over income disparity. I firmly believe that their higher salaries are&nbsp;<strong>justifiable</strong>&nbsp;due to their significant contributions to the company's success and their role in&nbsp;<strong>driving organizational growth</strong>.</p><p>Firstly, executives are&nbsp;<strong>instrumental in shaping the strategic direction</strong>&nbsp;of their companies. They make&nbsp;<strong>high-stakes decisions</strong>&nbsp;that can determine the organization's future. For instance, CEOs like Satya Nadella of Microsoft have&nbsp;<strong>steered their companies through competitive markets</strong>, resulting in substantial profits. Such leadership requires expertise and&nbsp;<strong>years of experience</strong>, which merit higher compensation.</p><p>Secondly, substantial executive salaries serve as&nbsp;<strong>powerful incentives</strong>&nbsp;for employees to&nbsp;<strong>aspire to higher positions</strong>. The prospect of increased remuneration motivates staff to&nbsp;<strong>enhance their skills</strong>&nbsp;and contribute more effectively.&nbsp;<strong>Empirical evidence suggests</strong>&nbsp;that organizations with competitive executive pay scales tend to have higher levels of employee productivity.</p><p>Admittedly, wage inequality is a&nbsp;<strong>valid concern</strong>. Critics argue that exorbitant executive pay&nbsp;<strong>exacerbates income disparity</strong>. However, this can be mitigated by implementing&nbsp;<strong>performance-based incentives</strong>&nbsp;and ensuring that employee wages are also&nbsp;<strong>fair and competitive</strong>. By maintaining a&nbsp;<strong>balanced remuneration structure</strong>, companies can reward excellence at all levels.</p><p>In conclusion, the higher wages of executives are warranted given their&nbsp;<strong>pivotal role</strong>&nbsp;in a company's success and their ability to&nbsp;<strong>motivate the workforce</strong>.&nbsp;<strong>Establishing a remuneration system that recognizes talent and hard work</strong>&nbsp;not only benefits the executives but also&nbsp;<strong>fosters a culture of excellence</strong>.</p>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="" />
         <pubDate>2024-10-11 12:15:01 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3164817475</guid>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title></title>
         <author>vuquang2030</author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3197782931</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴<br>✨<strong>TR: 7.5; CC: 7.5; VC: 7.0; GR: 7.0</strong>✨</p><p><br/></p><p>The provided table offers <s>useful insights into the proportion of ages and incomes from</s> 💥 <strong>cc: “a breakdown of age demographics and income levels across”</strong> three different states – <s>named</s> 💥 <strong>ko cần named </strong>California, Utah, and Florida – in the USA.</p><p><strong>Overall, it is evident that Utah</strong> <s>has the highest rate of people under 18 and smallest percentage of people over 60, while vice versa for Florida.</s> 💥 <strong>cc: "has the highest proportion of residents under 18 and the lowest of those over 60, with the opposite trend observed in Florida."</strong> Notably, California, despite <s>its highest average income, also has the highest poverty rate.</s> 💥 <strong>cc: "leading in average income, also reports the highest poverty rate."</strong></p><p><s>People under the age of 18 account for over a quarter of the population in Utal, while the other states have much lower rates, at 17% and 16% for California and Florida, respectively.</s> 💥 <strong> "Utah’s population under 18 accounts for over a quarter, significantly higher than California and Florida, at 17% and 16%, respectively."</strong> However, <s>the opposite is true when looking at the rate of people over 60,</s> 💥 <strong>cc opposite is true thường dùng essay: "conversely, seniors"</strong> only 8% of <s>Utal’s</s> 💥 <strong>sp: "Utah’s"</strong> population falls in this age group, giving it the lowest proportion of senior citizens. <s>In comparison to Utal, the rate for citizens over 60 years old in Florida is threefold, at 23%.</s> 💥 <strong>cc: "In contrast, Florida’s senior demographic triples that of Utah, reaching 23%."</strong></p><p>In terms of income, California <s>leads the average income per person with 23,000 dollars, followed by Florida and Utal with 22,000 and 17,000 dollars, respectively.</s> 💥 <strong> "boasts the highest average income at $23,000, followed closely by Florida at $22,000 and Utah at a mere $17,000."</strong> Despite having the highest average income, California has the highest <s>rate of population below the poverty line</s> 💥 <strong>cc: “poverty rate,”</strong> at 16%, <s>while it is only 12% for Florida</s> 💥 <strong>wc: “compared to 12% in Florida.”</strong> Interestingly, although <s>Utal ranks last in average income, it accounts for the lowest percentage of citizens below poverty line</s> 💥 <strong>cc: "Utah’s lower income averages, it maintains the lowest poverty rate at just 9%."</strong></p>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="https://padlet-uploads.storage.googleapis.com/1483001203/11958d1cf1bda53871ab11d74d5f46d4/image.png" />
         <pubDate>2024-11-01 14:33:56 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3197782931</guid>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title>In many countries, people now wear western-style dresses such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development? </title>
         <author>vuquang2030</author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3198356429</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴<br>✨<strong>TR: 7; CC: 7; VC: 7; GR: 7</strong>✨</p><p><br/></p><p>When it comes to the dressing styles of modern people, it has always been a hotly debated topic. Some are inclined to believe that Western clothes have <s>surpassed</s> 💥 <strong>wc: từ này nghĩa là vượt qua về mặt cạnh tranh hoặc thứ hạng, nên không hợp ở đây -&gt; replaced (thay thế, mang nghĩa ít phô trương hơn)</strong> traditional clothes in recent years. While some argue that the convenience of Western clothing contributes to its success, others point to the appeal of trendy fashion styles among younger generations. This essay will analyze the reasons behind the development of Western clothes before acknowledging the positive effects of this trend.</p><p>The success of Western-style clothing can be attributed mainly to the convenience it offers consumers when <s>mixing outfits</s> 💥 <strong>wc: từ này chưa tự nhiên lắm, mình dùng "styling" hợp hơn trong văn nói về thời trang</strong>. This trend is partly due to the wide variety of styles available internationally for people to choose from <s>every day</s> 💥 <strong>wc: trong văn viết học thuật "on a daily basis" tự nhiên hơn</strong>, while traditional clothes may have certain limitations and can be cumbersome to wear. This can be easily seen in Vietnam, where the traditional garment – ao dai – is uncomfortable to wear daily, partly due to the hot weather in many regions, making it mostly reserved for special occasions. Additionally, with the strong development of the Internet, younger generations can keep up with <s>trending clothes</s> 💥 <strong>wc: cụm này quá informal trong văn viết học thuật -&gt; "fashion trends"  </strong> around the globe through social media. Along with digital shopping platforms, such as Shopee, consumers can access thousands of clothing styles at an affordable cost, while traditional clothes, in some cases, can be <s>exorbitant</s> 💥 <strong>wc: nghĩa của "exorbitant" là giá quá cao, làm em chọn "costly" hoặc "expensive" vì không quá tiêu cực</strong> due to the lack of mass production. With both factors combined, it is no surprise that international clothing styles have become more popular than traditional ones.</p><p>This shift in fashion has undeniably helped consumers access a wide range of clothing options, encouraging greater self-expression and individuality in personal style. Indeed, there are <s>no limitations in fashion</s> 💥 <strong>gr: câu này hơi ambiguous vì mình có nhiều cách hiểu khác nhau, có thể dùng "fashion knows no boundaries" để diễn đạt rõ hơn</strong>, and choosing a style that fits each individual highlights the need for diverse clothing options. Additionally, the growth of Western fashion has led to <s>increased economic expansion</s> 💥 <strong>wc: từ này hơi dài và lặp nghĩa, "growth" là đủ rồi</strong> in the fashion industry, creating more jobs for locals. This trend reduces the cost of Western clothes due to mass production, making them more accessible than ever. Nowhere is this clearer than in China, which is home to thousands of fashion brands, creating a wide array of jobs and fostering a vibrant, competitive market.</p><p>In conclusion, the trend of Western-style clothing is due to the comfort it provides <s>users</s> 💥 <strong>wc: từ này nghe kỹ thuật quá, "wearers" hợp hơn vì mình đang nói về người mặc quần áo</strong>, as well as the variety of styles available. Despite some drawbacks related to the environment, I believe it has more positive impacts, such as meeting consumer demand and making clothing more affordable.</p>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="" />
         <pubDate>2024-11-02 08:21:23 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3198356429</guid>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title>Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages? 
</title>
         <author>vuquang2030</author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3207937775</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴<br>✨<strong>TR: 7; CC: 7; VC: 65; GR: 7</strong>✨</p><p><br></p><p>When it comes to the role of social values in modern life, it has always been a topic of interest worldwide. Some are inclined to believe that these values are disappearing due to the improvements in living standards via economic growth. As far as I am concerned, I strongly agree with the aforementioned viewpoint due to the <s>destruction</s> 💥 <strong>wc: từ này hơi mạnh và dễ hiểu nhầm là phá hủy theo nghĩa vật lý, nên dùng từ khác nhẹ hơn</strong> -&gt; <strong>deterioration</strong> of social bonds, together with the negative impact on mental well-being.</p><p>One argument in support of the erosion of social values is the deterioration in social connections, especially among families and friends. Indeed, with economic development, many people have to work overtime to meet the <s>harsh requirements</s> 💥 <strong>wc: từ này nghe quá nặng nề ở đây và có thể thay bằng từ nhẹ hơn mà vẫn diễn tả yêu cầu cao của công ty</strong> -&gt; <strong>stringent demands</strong> from companies, leaving them with little time for their families. This is nowhere more evident than in countries like China, where the 996 work schedule – requiring employees to work from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., six days per week – has become commonplace in many companies. As a result, this schedule <s>leads to the breakdown of relationships due to a lack of time to nurture them</s> 💥 <strong>gr: diễn đạt hơi dài và chưa tự nhiên, có thể gọn lại</strong> -&gt; <strong>strains relationships, depriving individuals of the time needed to nurture them.</strong></p><p>Despite this, critics argue that economic growth undeniably comes with advantages. Although economic development leads to <s>increasing working hours</s> 💥 <strong>gr:  chính xác hơn</strong> -&gt; <strong>extended work hours</strong>, it also reduces poverty and raises the standard of living. As the economy grows, more people are able to find stable employment, thus lowering poverty rates. However, this line of reasoning fails to acknowledge that these benefits are often <s>exaggerated</s> 💥 <strong>wc:  </strong> -&gt; <strong>overstated</strong> and can only be <s>acquired</s> 💥 <strong>wc:  </strong> -&gt; <strong>achieved</strong> if workers endure long hours for many years. Furthermore, the pressures associated with economic success can lead to <s>deteriorating mental health</s> 💥 <strong>gr: </strong> -&gt; <strong>increasingly poor mental health</strong> and social isolation. Unsurprisingly, urban cities tend to have higher rates of depression due to the intense pressures of economic success. Therefore, a more balanced approach is required to maximize the beneficial effects of economic development.</p><p>In conclusion, I believe that the positive impacts on the economy can be easily outweighed due to the loss of social interactions and the effect on mental health. Governments and companies must take proactive measures to balance <s>the economic growth and preservation of social values</s> 💥 <strong>wc: thiếu mạo từ xác định và cần trôi chảy hơn</strong> -&gt; <strong>economic growth with the preservation of social values.</strong></p><p>▌ꪑకꪶꪗỉꫀꪶᡶక _𝒽𝓊𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓁𝓎.𝒶𝓂𝓈@𝑔𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝓂 ▌</p>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="" />
         <pubDate>2024-11-08 08:28:44 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3207937775</guid>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title></title>
         <author>vuquang2030</author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3208048296</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>7.0</p><p><br/></p><p>The given table and pie charts offer a breakdown of the number of research students together with the distribution of genders by percentage <s>at</s> <strong>💥 across</strong> Australian colleges between 2001 and 2010.</p><p><br/></p><p>Overall, it is evident that in both years, the number of local research students <s>far outweighed</s> 💥 <strong>significantly exceeded</strong> their international counterparts. Notably, there was <s>an equal</s> 💥 <strong>consistent</strong> gender distribution for domestic students throughout the period.</p><p><br/></p><p>In 2001, there were 38,849 research students in Australia, with 33,657 of them being domestic students, <s>contributing</s> 💥 <strong>representing</strong> 87%, while only 5,192 students were international. However, this gap was r<s>educed notably</s> 💥 <strong>narrowed considerably</strong> in 2010, with 73% being locals and 27% being international. Additionally, there was <s>a huge increase </s>💥 <strong>substantial rise</strong> in the number of research students for both domestic and international students, with 39,488 and 14,593, respectively, making a total of 53,081 students.</p><p><br/></p><p>In terms of <s>genders</s> 💥 <strong>gender distribution</strong>, in 2001, 44% of local students were male, followed <s>slightly behind</s> 💥 <strong>by</strong> 43% females. However, there was a slight gap in the <s>genders</s> for 💥 <strong>between genders among</strong> international students, with males making up 9% – twice the proportion of females. By 2010, this gap had <s>disappeared </s>💥 <strong>narrowed</strong>, with 15% of international students being female and 12% being male. Meanwhile, gender ratios remained stable 💥 <strong>consistent</strong> among local students, with 38% female and 35% male.</p><p><br/></p><p>IMPROVED</p><p>The provided table and pie charts give <strong>useful insights</strong> into the distribution of research students and their gender breakdown across Australian colleges from 2001 to 2010. <strong>Overall</strong>, the number of local research students remained <strong>significantly higher than</strong> international students in both years. Interestingly, there was a <strong>consistent gender balance</strong> among local students throughout this period.</p><p><br/></p><p>In 2001, there were a total of 38,849 research students in Australia, with 87% being domestic (33,657 students) and only 5,192 from overseas. <strong>By contrast,</strong> in 2010, the local student share decreased to 73%, while international students grew to 27%, reaching a total of 53,081. This period also saw a <strong>remarkable rise</strong> in the number of both domestic and international students, with counts increasing to 39,488 and 14,593, respectively.</p><p><br/></p><p>Regarding gender, in 2001, 44% of local students were male, closely followed by 43% females. For international students, males comprised 9%, <strong>double the percentage of</strong> females. By 2010, this gender gap among international students <strong>narrowed</strong>, showing 15% female and 12% male, while <strong>gender distribution remained stable</strong> among local students, with 38% female and 35% male.</p>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="https://padlet-uploads.storage.googleapis.com/1483001203/a498f3c2cf9aaff4978ec9dd68269a3d/image.png" />
         <pubDate>2024-11-08 10:08:19 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3208048296</guid>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title>Some people think watching television is bad for children in every way. Others think it is good for children to get knowledge. Discuss both views and give your own opinion</title>
         <author>vuquang2030</author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3211380833</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴<br>✨<strong>TR: 7; CC: 6; VC: 6; GR: 6</strong>✨</p><p><br></p><p>When it comes to the usage of television, its impact on children’s development has always been a hotly debated topic. While some people contend that television <s>brings challenges</s> 💥 <strong>wc  -&gt; presents challenges</strong> to children, others are inclined to believe that it brings various benefits. This essay will analyze these viewpoints before giving my opinion, which posits that the key lies not in a one-size-fits-all approach, but rather <s>the control of parents together with schools</s> 💥 <strong>wc  -&gt; coordinated guidance from parents and schools.</strong></p><p><br></p><p>On one side of the debate, many hold that watching television can <s>make children have</s> 💥 <strong>gr: cấu trúc này không chuẩn -&gt; lead children to experience</strong> more health-related problems, such as obesity. Indeed, when children spend hours sitting in front of a screen, they <s>tend to be sedentary</s> 💥 <strong>wc  -&gt; are largely inactive</strong>, taking away time for physical activities. Unsurprisingly, recent research has shown that excess TV viewing in childhood <s>predicts risk for</s> 💥 <strong>gr -&gt; increases the risk of</strong> obesity well into adulthood <s>five times more compared to those who don’t watch TVs</s> 💥 <strong>gr: cấu trúc so sánh chưa đúng -&gt; by up to five times compared to those with limited screen time</strong>. In essence, <s>these posits</s> 💥 <strong>gr: “these” không phù hợp vì đề cập một ý duy nhất -&gt; this suggests</strong> that television is harmful, especially to children, due to its impact on their health.</p><p><br></p><p>In contrast to this stance, opponents counter that TV undeniably <s>comes with its advantages</s> 💥 <strong>wc -&gt; comes with its share of problems</strong>. Despite some drawbacks, TV remains a reliable source for children to gain <s>more</s> 💥 <strong>wc  -&gt; additional</strong> knowledge that school sometimes can’t <s>teach</s> 💥 <strong>vc  -&gt; provide</strong>. Specifically, content creators have developed thousands of interesting TV programs, <s>with a broad range of channels, from science to cooking to gardening</s> 💥 <strong>gr  -&gt; spanning channels from science to cooking and gardening</strong>. This is particularly evident on <s>NationalGeographic</s> 💥 <strong>sp  -&gt; National Geographic</strong> channel, with thousands of documentary programmes, <s>varying from aviation, universe to geography, ocean</s> 💥 <strong>gr -&gt; covering topics from aviation and the universe to geography and the ocean</strong>. This knowledge is <s>not exclusive to the knowledge of children, but also valuable</s> 💥 <strong>gr  -&gt; valuable not only for children’s knowledge</strong> but also for helping them relax after school. <s>Undoubtedly, after a busy day filled with lessons, children’s brains need some time to relax.</s> 💥 <strong>wc  -&gt; After a busy day of lessons, children’s minds need a break</strong>. Therefore, watching TV provides a mental break, allowing them to recover from stress. <s>Granted, watching television may bring challenges, but the benefits are invaluable.</s> 💥 <strong>vc  -&gt; Although television poses challenges, its benefits are undeniable.</strong></p><p>In conclusion, while <s>watching TV both have advantages and drawbacks on children</s> 💥 <strong>gr: với bài lợi hại, em ghim thêm template sao cho không phải cứ dùng both advan và disadvan nữa -&gt; Television may offer a wealth of learning experiences, yet it carries risks that can impact children’s well-being</strong>. I believe that parents should restrict screen time in order to maximize its benefits. Unless these problems are addressed, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to children.</p><p>▌ꪑకꪶꪗỉꫀꪶᡶక _𝒽𝓊𝑜𝓃𝑔𝓁𝓎.𝒶𝓂𝓈@𝑔𝓂𝒶𝒾𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝓂 ▌<br>═════════════════════nn════</p><p><br></p><p>IMPROVED:</p><p>Television is often seen as a gateway to endless information, yet its role in children’s development may be likened to a double-edged sword. While some people contend that television presents challenges to young viewers, others believe it offers countless advantages. This essay will analyze these viewpoints before giving my opinion, which posits that the key lies not in a one-size-fits-all approach, but rather coordinated guidance from parents and schools.</p><p><br></p><p>On one side of the debate, many argue that watching television can lead children to experience more health-related problems, such as obesity. Indeed, when children spend hours sitting in front of a screen, they are largely inactive, which limits opportunities for physical activities. Unsurprisingly, recent research has shown that excessive TV viewing in childhood increases the risk of obesity well into adulthood by up to five times compared to those with limited screen time. In essence, this suggests that television can be harmful, especially when it affects children's physical health and development.</p><p><br></p><p>In contrast to this stance, opponents counter that television undeniably offers unique advantages. Despite some drawbacks, TV remains a valuable source for children to gain additional knowledge that school sometimes cannot provide. Specifically, content creators have developed a variety of engaging TV programs, spanning channels from science to cooking and gardening. This is particularly evident on National Geographic channel, which features thousands of documentary programs covering topics from aviation and the universe to geography and oceanography. Such knowledge is not only essential for broadening children’s perspectives but is also valuable in helping them relax after a busy school day. After long hours of lessons, children’s minds need a break, and watching TV provides a mental pause, allowing them to unwind. Although television poses certain risks, its benefits are undeniable.</p><p><br></p><p>In conclusion, television may offer a wealth of learning experiences, yet it carries risks that can impact children’s well-being. I believe that parents should regulate screen time to ensure a balanced approach that maximizes the benefits and minimizes the drawbacks. Unless these issues are carefully managed, finding a one-size-fits-all solution for children’s television viewing will remain elusive.</p><p><br></p>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="" />
         <pubDate>2024-11-11 15:02:44 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3211380833</guid>
      </item>
      <item>
         <title></title>
         <author>vuquang2030</author>
         <link>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3211473193</link>
         <description><![CDATA[<p>🟥𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴<br>✨<strong>TR: 6.5; CC: 6.5; VC: 6.5; GR: 6.0</strong>✨</p><p>The two maps <s>depict</s> 💥 <strong>vc: use "illustrate" for sophistication</strong> the layout of a village in the UK in 2000 and <s>now</s> 💥 <strong>vc: “the present day”.</strong></p><p>Overall, it is apparent   that the village underwent significant <s>changes</s> 💥 <strong>vc:  “transformations”</strong>, including the <s>reorganization</s> 💥 <strong>wc: “redistribution”</strong> of houses and the addition of new roads. <s>Notably,</s> existing amenities were <s>converted into</s> 💥 <strong>wc: “repurposed as vacant buildings” </strong> vacant buildings.</p><p>In 2000, there were a few houses in the <s>north</s> 💥 <strong>gr  “northern part”</strong> of the village, along with an incomplete road. However, by the <s>present time</s> 💥 <strong>vc: “current period” SẼ TẠO flow cho bài</strong>, the road has been completed, along with the reorganization of houses, leading to a <s>significant increase</s> 💥 <strong>vc: “noticeable surge” kĩ hơn</strong> in the number of homes. Similarly, the farm and farmland in 2000 <s>have been replaced by buildings</s> 💥 <strong>vc:  “were converted into residential structures” </strong>, while the old road has been slightly expanded.</p><p>In terms of facilities, there was a restaurant, a hotel, a pub, a shoe factory, and shops on both sides of the main street in 2000. <s>Unfortunately</s> 💥 <strong>wc: “Interestingly” cho đỡ cảm xúc</strong>, all of these facilities <s>have since been transformed into empty buildings</s> 💥 <strong>gr/vc: —“were later converted into unoccupied premises”</strong>. Additionally, a new playground has been introduced next to the former pub and shoe factory, <s>providing a recreational space that is easily accessible from the main street</s> 💥 <strong>gr: —“offering accessible recreational space near the main street”</strong>.</p><p><br></p><p>IMPROVED:<br>The two maps illustrate the spatial transformations of a UK village from 2000 to the present day.</p><p>Overall, the village has experienced notable structural changes, characterized by the redistribution of housing areas and the addition of new roads. Former amenities have largely been repurposed into vacant buildings, suggesting a shift in local utility needs.</p><p>In 2000, a few houses were located in the northern part of the village, alongside an incomplete road. In the current period, this road has been completed, and the housing area has expanded significantly, leading to a noticeable surge in the number of homes. Additionally, the farmland and farm present in 2000 were converted into residential buildings, while the old road was moderately expanded.</p><p>Regarding facilities, the village once housed a restaurant, hotel, pub, shoe factory, and shops on either side of the main street. Interestingly, all these establishments were later converted into unoccupied premises. A new playground has been installed next to the former pub and shoe factory, offering accessible recreational space close to the main street.</p>]]></description>
         <enclosure url="https://padlet-uploads.storage.googleapis.com/1483001203/ec41cbfffd0809eac892c250ebd03381/Screenshot_2024_11_11_222403.png" />
         <pubDate>2024-11-11 16:00:20 UTC</pubDate>
         <guid>https://padlet.com/vuquang2030/eyoflwt77di0ft6/wish/3211473193</guid>
      </item>
   </channel>
</rss>
