https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2021-01-04 16:53:13 UTC 2025-11-02 19:25:28 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet.net/icons/png/26bd.png 27miannotta https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1074659778 One thing that I really liked about your piece is your strong hook. Your piece hooked me a lot because of all of the figurative language that you used. I really liked when you said the line was as slow as molasses.
Another thing that I really enjoyed about your piece was all of your inner thoughts. I liked the idea of two sides of your brain fighting. It made the piece more entertaining if you can put it that way. 
Although your piece is great, I think you could have added more details as to what was happening while the ride was going. I know it only took thirteen seconds from start to finish but I think you could’ve slowed it down a little bit more.]]> 2021-01-11 15:56:30 UTC https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1074659778 27liannotta https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1074715788 I really liked that you had so much inner thoughts. It made me feel like I was in your head. You also described the ride and the features around you very precisely. I also really liked your similes and metaphors, but my wish is that I think that you should have added more at the end of your moment. Like my mouth spread apart like my fingers were pulling the inside of my cheeks outwards.]]> 2021-01-11 16:06:07 UTC https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1074715788 27ndarmarajah https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1074977751 The first thing i wanted to say that is You hook was really strong and intriging. A soon as I started reading I got interested. I did not know what Kingda Ka was so I kept reading so I could find out what it was. There were also many details supporting it. I also thought you piece was good because they way you wrote it I was able to slow down and really understand it. Something that helped and really slowed down you piece was the “3,2,1” The way you said 3 then explained what was going on and then 2 and then with writting in between I thought was unique. My wish is that the ending was slowed down a bit more. I feel it was rushed and you could have added more to it to really understand what was going on, but otherwise it was great!]]> 2021-01-11 16:49:28 UTC https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1074977751 27miannotta https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1509534972 Hi Cayden! During my period 3, I read your awesome persuasive essay about why kids should play community sports. One thing that I really liked about your piece were your transitions from body paragraph to body paragraph. Instead of the claim and reason to be separate sentences, you combined them. I thought that really made your piece more complex and diverse. The second thing I really liked about your piece was your conclusion in general. You had really great word choice with persuasive words and you really sent me a message through it. One wish that I have about your writing piece is your warrants. The stories and plots were amazing as well as the exclamation, questions, what it means, and why it’s important, but the stories could have been a little bit more detailed and elaborate. All in all, your piece was great!]]> 2021-05-10 15:05:32 UTC https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1509534972 https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1513875043 I found his hooking amazing! It really made me want to keep reading. I also was asking the same questions as Cayden after reading his piece. I also found the end to be really interesting. Your piece really flowed well. I could tell you put a lot of effort into it. But I wish you could have added a bit more detail about the articles. But over all the essay was fantastic.  ]]> 2021-05-11 15:31:24 UTC https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1513875043 27rplatts https://padlet.com/27cbenoit/ew0qlbxvsdrgdusn/wish/1614737119 Hello. This is a great piece! I liked how you explained Tommy C Brown and his major sweet tooth. That eventually lead to him inventing candy. It was really creative to make the chocolate monster take over his brain, forcing him to mass produce more candy. I also liked how you tied in dentists and orthodontists. Dentists being people who watch for any candy monsters forming in your mouth. And orthodontists being the ones who give you braces which prevent the consumption of sticky candies. My only wish is for you to spruce up your beginning paragraph. Right now it  states the rule and real truth in the form of a Q and A. However, by adding a few more details and figurative language, it could be perfect. Maybe you could do something along the lines of: Have you ever grumpily walked away from that big candy jar on the counter because your parents told you it will damage your teeth? What if I said that there is a much more sinister meaning behind that rule? Something that could make you never eat candy again!

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