Eva L Peer Feedback 2022 - 2023 by Eva LaRosa https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8 Here, you can give me specific and valuable feedback on all of my writing pieces throughout the year! As you comment, please remember to be kind with your words. However, as you offer "Two Stars and a Wish," constructive criticism is certainly welcome! en-us 2022-10-21 15:31:15 UTC 2023-03-27 22:33:31 UTC hello@padlet.com https://padlet-assets.s3.amazonaws.com/icons/Apple.png 29pwoodfin https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2353795984 I love how you described what your setting looked like and reeled like because it made me feel like I was there. I also like how you described how you felt about getting a red card. I would get pretty mad too. One thing I would change about it though is describing what the girl  looked like and what your best friend looked like,so people could get more of a vision of your story.





]]> 2022-10-24 15:09:38 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2353795984 Alexa cerchio 29acerchio https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2354165330 I really liked how in the beginning you said to yourself that you were gonna score goals and help the team win the game. And how determined you were about that.I liked how much inner thought you added in the ending part and how discripted you were in the beginning. In the end I liked how you realized it was not that big of a deal and that it was not the end of the world it’s just a red card]]> 2022-10-24 18:31:51 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2354165330 Aishwarya Sharma 29asharma https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2356512346 A strength of your memoir was descriptive you were. You described the setting and everything that you saw from your eyes. Another thing that I thought you did good was how many emotions you explained. That really helps people be in your moment. One thing you could have explained more deeply was that how did the people you were mentioning look like and how things were after.]]> 2022-10-26 02:42:12 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2356512346 Alexa Pereira 29apereira https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2357523439 The setting and environment description was amazing. I was mineblown after I read your memoir. A strength of your memoir “” is the detailed description of your setting .  One of my favorite lines was “A heat wave hit me like I was standing directly in the middle of a dessert. The sun was a burning red on my arms and part of my legs. I spotted the white soccer net out of the corner of my eye.” It was a great description for the reader to know how hot it was and I knew you were at soccer.The inner thoughts were also amazing because it made mew feel like i was there with you and it made it more interesting.However,a suggestion for improvement I can offer for improvement is to maybe stretch out the moment right before the red card.]]> 2022-10-26 15:38:34 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2357523439 Niya .D. 29nduffus https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2357787800 Eva, i enjoyed your memoir it was great, A strength of your memoir is how you reflected back on a strong moment in you life and wrote it very descriptively that it was easy to envision and picture what was happening to you and your emotions and feelings in the moment. In addition I think your memoir was written in a strong perspective with many emotions about that Moment during your soccer game. I also liked the way that you incorporated many descriptive parts that included strong mean full/powerful bits of figurative language. I completely agree that this had many thoughts and included great interesting thoughts that really made it a great memoir to read and picture and I also think that you had a strong ending/hook to your memoir that really brought it together.]]> 2022-10-26 18:15:53 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2357787800 I really liked your memoir, and figuritive laguage. Great job! 29mhales https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2357804906 2022-10-26 18:25:52 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2357804906 Ciara 29cware https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2357811798 one strength in your Memoir was description. I like how you described what was happening in that moment. Another thing I like was the dramatic-ness in your story I loved how you you were all dramatic about the red card. One thing I think you could improve on is probably why this was so important.]]> 2022-10-26 18:30:23 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2357811798 Talal Zeb https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2487179973 Dear, Eva. L in your story portrays a young child struggling with their homework, getting all the answers wrong, feeling ashamed, and eventually giving up and crying. The piece argues that homework affects children's grades negatively and causes them to need therapists. The author also claims that children need a break after spending six hours in school, and homework can cause burnout, leading to children not completing it or relying on their parents to assist them, leading to a loss of benefits. The essay also claims that homework causes anxiety, depression, moodiness, nervousness, stomach aches, and exhaustion. You argue that teachers and parents should stand up to this problem and provide the right help with homework or not assign it at all. Overall, the essay is well-written and structured, presenting a clear argument and providing evidence to support it. You could use vivid imagery to depict the child's struggles with homework and the negative effects it has on their mental and physical health. The essay also references expert opinions and statistics to support its claims. However, the essay could benefit from more counterarguments to provide a balanced view of the issue. Additionally, the author could explore alternatives to homework, such as project-based learning or classroom discussions, that can achieve the same educational goals without the negative effects on children's health. Finally, you could address the potential impact of banning homework on students' preparation for college and future careers, which often require independent work and self-discipline.]]> 2023-02-18 16:49:31 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2487179973 Emily https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2489887944 Hey Eva! A strength of your essay, “Homework is off the menu” is the way in which you elaborate within your paragraph. As I’m reading I love all of their details you decided to incorporate in your piece. You are a vary strong writer with a lot of words I would not think to use! I love your creative style! Another thing about your piece that I think is very strong is how you did not repeat any word order over and over again. You had the right timing for every  single word you put in your piece. Everything you did in your piece was outstanding. However, a suggestion I have for you is in your conclusion to make that as good as every other paragraph. I noticed at the end you rushed a little bit and I noticed it was almost like you were running out of time. I think if you fixed that just a little bit your piece would be perfect. Overall you did fantastic as I love everything you decided to write.]]> 2023-02-21 15:37:48 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2489887944 Alexa cerchio 29acerchio https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2490195605 Hi Eva its lex! I really liked your essay and i thought that your anecdote was really good, i also think that your intro was good and you hooked me on. Overall you did really good!-cerchio]]> 2023-02-21 19:35:19 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2490195605 Alexa cerchio 29acerchio https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2524089722 Hey eva its lex c! A star was your explanation because you explained everything clear and had good word choice in your explanation. Another star was your conclusion because your used different words that your did from your claim. One wish was you could of used more tradition words. But overall i really liked your writing piece and you did a good job on it! - lex c]]> 2023-03-20 18:27:46 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2524089722 Hi Eva here are some star and some wishes about this https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2525491860
  • The writer effectively analyzes the message and theme of Boundin and provides specific examples from the short to support their argument.
  • The writer emphasizes the importance of self-love and confidence in a relatable and understandable way, making the message accessible to a wide audience.

    • One wish:
    It would be even stronger if the writer could provide some personal reflection or connection to the message, perhaps sharing a time when they struggled with self-love or confidence and how they overcame it. This would make the argument more personal and relatable.

    ]]>     2023-03-21 14:27:02 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2525491860     Emily 29eciemniecki https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2525575572 Hey Eva! Your piece was really good. Something that stood put to me the most was your theme, uncovers an extraordinary and influential theme about the magnitude of self love and confidence even when one is not feeling their best. I thought this b cause it was really descriptive and hade a lot of detail. You made me want to keep reading your piece. Another thing I liked about your piece was this sentence,He then expressed sad and unhappy emotions which then reflected on his friends that were making fun of him. I thought this sentence was really strong and kept the reader hooked! A suggestion I have for you is to  make sure you don’t rush your piece! Overall you did great!


    ]]>     2023-03-21 15:12:00 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2525575572     Alana https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2533494075 Hi, Eva! Firstly, your theme was very easy to read, because it was very clear, and easy to read. Secondly, I enjoyed your exidence 1 , because it was also very clear, easy to understand, and the description fit the clip. However, I discovered some errors throughout your piece that may want correction. First, I would unbold everything because your entire essay is bolded. I also would  make sure you highlight  in purple, everywhere that you said the title, For The Birds. Lastly, I would make sure that every word is in present tense, like when you said, “They whispered and chirped”. overall spectacular job!]]> 2023-03-27 17:35:17 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2533494075 Lex cerchio 29acerchio https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2533558593 Hi Eva its lex c! One star for you is your transition words. For example “to add on” or “more of a clearer perspective .” Another star is your sum it up because in the beginning your said “the evaluation that is sprinkled throughout.” That was really good. One wish is your explanation i feel like you could of said it a bit more clearer then it was. But other than that your paragraph was really good!! -lex c]]> 2023-03-27 18:17:50 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2533558593 Lucie https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2533590453
    Hi Eva . One star for you is your transition words. For example “to add on” or “add  more. Another star is your sum it up because in the beginning you said “the evaluation that is sprinkled throughout.” That word choice was really good and creative. A wish is for your explanation I  think you could  wrote iit a bit more clearer than it was.  Overall your paragraph was really good. ]]>     2023-03-27 18:42:01 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2533590453     Ella Longo https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2533895574 The first thing I likes about your piece was how you said that big bird was mean to the small birds just to mess with his self love and self confidence. The second thing I found goo about your piece was that with both evidences (#1 and #2) you had two sentences. The reason this stood out to me was because most people only had one sentence. The only wish I have for you is to change your font to Times New Roman because it is required. ]]> 2023-03-27 21:50:00 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2533895574 Hello Eva i really like this sentence of your paragraph. You shouldn’t get to judge someone because you never know what they are going through and no one is perfect because everyone is different and unique in their own way. I just really liked the message you were portraying. nex t i really liked your transition words like when you used To further elaborate or To put it into more of a clearer perspective also to add on etc. your transition words just add a bunch of character to your paragraph. For my next star i really like your claim “Certainly, the Pixar Short For The Birds truly indicates that one should not be made fun of by what size they are, but they should be determined by the size of their character.” it was well written and showed your theme very nicely. https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2533974212 2023-03-27 22:33:31 UTC https://padlet.com/29elarosa/eomvxi1nwsr06kx8/wish/2533974212