Why should you be spared from dinner with the Lystrogonians? by David Robinson

david_robinson — 2015-11-17 02:17:27 UTC

Yo

2015-11-17 02:21:08 UTC

Hi my friend,

You should never ever eat human, because if u eat all of us, than after about 10 years we will all died and extinguish

It is also called hunting animals.

please don't eat me!

Thanks my friend!

King Lamos

david_robinson — 2015-11-17 02:26:09 UTC

I especially love to eat people who can't write in formal language or use capital letters! 'u' is not a word. Also I don't recall any students called 'Yo' on the register. Goodbye! Mmmm!

Maithili 7E

2019-03-08 08:04:03 UTC

What I would say to the Lystrogonians:

I do not eat meat, but if I did I would gladly let you eat me.

Imagine this: I am about to kill a chicken (which I would not do for real by the way) and the chicken can talk to me. It says "If you eat me, I will die. I will not be able to watch my chicks grow up and they will have no mother to love them. If you eat me, I will miss out on the pleasures in life that you gain by killing me. If you eat me, you will have to live with the guilt of taking a living creature's life for the rest of your life, whether you care about it or not." Should anyone be able to kill someone for their own enjoyment? That is exactly what you are doing to me, and I am the chicken in this scenario. I am going to be wiped from this world because you are just hungry. Is someone's life really worth hunger? There are plenty of crops and other food sources that do not involve killing alive creatures. Everyone can survive without eating meat, it's just a matter of being open-minded and aware of what you are damaging. So please King Lamus, do not eat me and spare my life and many others.

Esther 7E

2019-03-08 23:51:31 UTC

King lamus, Honestly, I do not think that there's a problem if you decided to eat me and all my men. After all we're only living to eventually die and us greeks believe we are all given a certain day from birth on which we are meant to leave this life. We all eat meat, so why shouldn't you? However it is up to you. I must warn you all 540 of us have been fighting in a treacherous war for ten years therefore we haven't properly washed ourselves for over a decade meaning if you were to eat us you would have can extremely high risk of getting food poisoning or worse possibly killing you and all of your suspects. If you are hungry I would wait for a cleaner, tastier batch and in the mean time try some vegetables! They are delicious and very good for your health. You could also combined some in a salad and experience all of the different flavours in one bite. Also there are tones more vegetables here than humans and you can grow more meaning you would never be hungry.

So please King lamus if you have the heart spare our lives. I have a family to return to but once again the choice is yours...

Alvin 7E

2019-03-10 04:13:48 UTC

King Lamus,

We eat animals because there are certain nutrients that come from them. Not all of the nutrients we need are from vegetables. I'm sure if we didn't have to eat animals to get those nutrients we would't be eating animals. Maybe you should try eating vegetables too, since it is more healthier. It will also decrease your chances of getting food poisoning. If you decide to eat us, you might get poisoned since we have been at war for the last 10 years and could have brought many germs with us, so eating us is a bad idea.

Summer 7E

2019-03-11 10:27:06 UTC

You shouldn’t eat me for two reasons:
1) It is not nice to eat animals! Us humans are also animals and that means you are too! So, if you are really and truly hungry the try eating yourself! It is cruel to eat animals; think about how they would feel about being eaten. Now think about how you would feel if I were to eat you.

2) By not eating animals, you are helping the environment as well as yourself. If you want to eat longer and maybe eat better things other than meat then don’t eat us. It’s not just because it is not very healthy, but also because there are a lot of things on Earth that helps keep us all alive. If you were to go against that by continuously eating meat that you might not be alive for much longer. To further add to my point, not eat meat reduces risks of food poisoning. This could be because the meat is of bad quality and you eat it raw or partially raw. For you information, we have been in a war for 10 years and are barely hygienic. If you were to eat us then you would have an even more chance of living for much much longer than to if you were to eat someone that was healthy and clean.

Anelotte 7E

2019-03-11 11:06:40 UTC

You should not eat me because would you like me to eat you and if you eat me then everyone else in the world might want to try a human and then humans might become extinct. And by not eating meat (animals) it will help the environment and the only reason we are all alive is because of animals so thats why you should not eat me or any humans.

Delon 7E

2019-03-11 13:26:21 UTC

It is totally fine if you eat me and all my men, but think this. If you eat me and all of my men. Think about the future. Humans might become extinct and you can't eat us anymore. By not eating meat, you're also helping the environment and keeping yourself from danger of food poisoning as we are not cooked. You should really try vegetables as they are clean, healthy, and if you add in some dressings, you could enjoy all the delicious taste in one bite! There are also many other sources of food that doesn't involve killing animals. Please spare my life and my mens' life as we all have family to return to...

Rylan 7A

2019-03-12 02:36:11 UTC

You know what, eat me if you like. It’s perfectly legal. Just, before you eat me, let me inform you of some of the risks of eating humans instead of, say, pigs or cows. First of all, you can get some pretty nasty diseases from us if you eat us. You can even get Ebola, HIV, and a horrible brain disease which rid 5 villages of women in Papua New Guinea! I love you so I wouldn’t want that to happen to you! Secondly, humans are proven to taste tough and fatty so I wouldn’t want you munching on a dirty, fatty human!Furthermore, human meat actually has less calories than a cow or a sheep!So, please don’t eat me and enjoy the benefits of a nice, fat pig.

Rufus 7A

2019-03-12 03:12:27 UTC

Well, Mr. Laestrygonian. human cannabalism has been shown to give the consumer hepatitis, constipation (you don’t want clogged pipes, do you) Ebola and if you eat brain you can get the disease zuru which makes you crazy and you could also get mad cow disease and even die. Also, the inhumane people who have eaten human meat say that it has a horrible, fatty taste and plus, we have been traveling for days straight and are sweaty and bruised

Finally, the only people who ate humans were starving on islands and such but even though you are on an island, you have plenty of plant life on this island and could probably grow foods like beans which have a similar tase to meat. So in conclusion, eating me would be a bad life choice while switching to vegetarian would benefit your health and your happiness!

Rylan 7A New Post

Holy07 — 2019-03-12 03:15:56 UTC

You know what, eat me if you like. It’s perfectly legal. Just, before you eat me, let me inform you of some of the risks of eating humans instead of, say, pigs or cows. First of all, you can get some pretty nasty diseases if you eat us. You can even get Ebola, HIV, and a horrible brain disease which rid 5 villages of women in Papua New Guinea! I love you so I wouldn’t want that to happen to you, wouldn’t you?

Secondly, humans are proven to taste tough and fatty so I wouldn’t want you munching on a dirty, fatty human that has gone without a good clean for 10 years! Furthermore, human meat actually has less calories than a cow or a sheep so take them for heavens’ sake! So, please don’t eat me and enjoy the benefits of a nice, fat pig.(Or take 7B if you like)

Alison 7A

2019-03-12 03:16:16 UTC

King Lamus,

You shouldn’t eat humans because if you do, there is an extremely high chance of you catching a blood related disease. Humans have different types of blood; Eating the wrong type of blood will cause blood clots which will result in death.

Another thing is that humans carry lots of germs and eating us will most likely result in you catching a very dangerous disease. So in conclusion, if you eat me and my men, you die.

Isaac 7A

2019-03-12 03:22:33 UTC

If you eat me other than the cannibalism and you know, the murder part, there is another important reason why consuming human flesh is not that good for you. HINT it can be deadly. You can get diseases that are not good for the brain. This can happen by eating dirty flesh now, do you want that?
Here are some other side affects:
Arm and leg pain, coordination problems that become severe, difficulty walking, headache, swallowing difficulty and tremors and muscle jerks. Now that could stop you having a lot of fun.

So instead of eating me why not try a huge cow 🐄 or some salad 🥗.

Queenie 7A

y_1un — 2019-03-12 03:24:21 UTC

King Lamus,

Well you know, it’s fine if you want to eat me,it’s your own choice. But let me just tell you why you shouldn’t eat us:

You shouldn’t eat humans because you might run the risk of catching blood related diseases. Humans all have different types of blood. Eating the wrong blood will cause blood clots, which might lead to your death. Not only that, you might also get hepatitis, Ebola, HIV, syphilis... All those kinds of diseases. Wouldn’t it be ashamed if you eat us and catch a nasty disease from us, your food?

Also, we humans don’t even taste that good. People that ate humans before have described us as bitter, tender, tough and fatty. And did you know that we humans have lot’s of germs on us, imagine if you take a bite of us, and all of those disgusting germs get into your body. How would that feel?

So, what I am trying to tell you is that don’t eat us, or you will die.( you can eat Donald trump if you are really hungry )

Maz 7A

2019-03-12 03:25:05 UTC

I wouldn’t eat us if I were you because we have showered in weeks, plus we have a tone of ugly disgusting scabs and if you ate us with scabs on us still, that would taste horrible and that would treat your stomach terrible.

In my opinion, your wasting your time because there is others who have even more tastier flesh then us who have sweat and dirt on? Also they would be clean unlike us which sounds a lot better then us. And do you really want to be threatened by other people because I wouldn’t.

7A Kyle Chan

2019-03-12 03:28:13 UTC

Well, King Lamus, did you know that cannibalism may give you Kuru and Prion desease, which degenerates the brain, and Mad Cow Desease. These are just a small amount of the deseases that can be obtained from cannibalism.

Bronte 7A

2019-03-12 03:28:21 UTC

King Lamus,

Me and my men, we do eat meat. Although we eat meat we have a reason.

We have been at war for 10 years sailing from island to island day after day. What are we to eat in the deep treacherous oceans? We know that we have stopped animals from having precious lives , but please what would you rather, all humans gone from the war so none left for your family and friends to eat or us eating one fish a day to stop a war which would 🤬 hundreds or millions more.

Imagine if you were fighting us , you would probably choose to eat us ( like you are now before thinking ) but what if your family joins us and you can either eat your family that joined us or plants? Killing your families? Surviving everyone’s life with healthiness.

Anyways , we have been away for 10 years, you eat us and your family dies from germs , you get guilt. You stop us from getting back to our families , you feel guilt. You let us free , we all survive.

Why don’t you try vegetables? More nutrients... more health benefits ...

You and your family can survive longer! Guilt later rather than sooner ! For death and for health.

Also I bet you have enough guilt after this speech for all the humans and flesh you have eaten.

We want you to survive also. We care . Please let us free...

My crew and I said we will nor harm anyone of yours apart from the germs already on us which don’t come off.

Please re-think , but it’s still your choice.

Saachi 7A

2019-03-12 03:28:58 UTC

To be truthful with you Mr.Lamus of Laestrygonia my class and I do have a problem with you eating us because like you said why do we eat animals, I have a perfect answer for that. We eat animals because animals (such as chicken, beef and pork) they all have nutrients and they are good for us, but us? Honestly we don’t have nutrients in us so basically your just eating us cause you want to. You don’t have to find that heart in that big body of yours. Don’t eat us please.

King Lamus

2019-03-12 03:29:01 UTC

But I’ve eaten TONS of humans and I still didn’t get sick

Luca 7A

2019-03-12 03:29:06 UTC

You shouldn’t eat humans because humans are our species and we don’t want to start a war against each other and many people will get hurt so eat pigs cows and animals they are much nicer try multiple or won’t enjoy it

Joseph 7A

2019-03-12 03:29:27 UTC

You shouldn’t eat us because we haven’t showered in ten years and who knows how infectious we could be, also if you eat us you will be cannibals, it is not good to eat your own kind it could be deadly. Did you know the Gods frown on people who eat their own kind. If you want to know why we eat animals, it is because they are good for us and we need them to live. We choose to eat animals over our own kind

Sharon 7A

sharon_shuen — 2019-03-12 11:31:27 UTC

Dear Laestrygonians and King Lamus,

I have 3 reasons why you, Laestrygonians should not eat me and my men and why it is better for you all to become vegetarians.

Honestly, it is true that we eat animals. But animals are not same as humans and it is not good to eat your own kind, you may get some different terrible disease if the person you ate is sick, then the sickness may also transfer to you and you may die👏. Although human flesh looks like beef but the taste is completely different and tastes bad which I am sure that you will never enjoy. Also you may get food poisoned.

I think that you all should be vegetarians because meat is not as healthy as vegetables. If I were you I would rather eat vegetables instead of meat because vegetables are a lot healthier. Do you want to live longer? Do you want to be healthy?Would you want to be a vegetarian? I would because I think that it is a better idea to become a vegetarian and eat more healthy food. when you eat healthy food you may not get sick easily. I will tell you some interesting facts about being a vegetarian, First being a vegetarian helps the environment, Second being a vegetarian reduces risks of food poisoning and third being a vegetarian is healthier😉.

Actually do you know that every single human has feelings and if you say that you are going to eat us we will also feel sad, I hope you understand. You may all not know this but humans are not that tasty, I recommend you to eat pigs, cows and sheeps if you really don't want to be a vegetarian plus if you eat us it means that you are eating your own species which the gods wouldn't be happy about it. Also we have been in war for ten whole years which we don't have any time to take a shower, so that it means that we have germs on our body all the way back from ten years ago and we stink of sweat.

Please have a think about it 😈😁

2019-03-12 12:11:32 UTC

Iris 7A

King Lamus,

You can eat me if you want. It is your choice, I can’t stop you.

But just let me tell you about why you shouldn’t eat humans. I would like to tell you that I have not showered for ten years because we have been fighting in the war. If you eat us, we might not taste good because all we eat are vegetables. Would you eat your own children for dinner? Would you like to spoiled a whole family just to satisfy your stomach? Like you, we also have feelings. We have family waiting for us to come home. Imagine if you’re one of the family members who have been waiting for your family to come back for ten years, then you got the news that they were eaten. How would you feel?

I hate to tell you, but it’s true. Humans have many diseases, more than you imagine. I guess you haven’t eaten a human before. We might not taste as good as you think, we might poison you.

Think about it carefully. Thank you!

Soleil 7A

soleil_chan4 — 2019-03-12 14:54:49 UTC

You know, cannibalism is not illegal, so 🤬 if you want! It is your life, not mine! However, you will definitely regret of what you did (eating me).

First reason- you will regret is because that we mostly have a lot of fatty issue (or some of us, but me and my crew for sure), and Science shows that the heart although offers you 700 kcal, but it may not be the tastiest to eat the human's heart.

That reason is just about the heart, so you can always say that you are going to not eat the heart and eat the other parts! But mainly the reason that YOU should not 🤬 is because that us people generally has viruses and bacteria, and if you ate us, not only you may suffer from our viruses and bacteria, but also the risk of having Ebola increases and it may eventually cause death! We eat animals for nutrients, but you guys just eat us for loss and death!

It is always fine if you still want to 🤬. But think carefully and deeply. Would you rather to enjoy the immediate moment but suffer from long and short term diseases or you are going to quit cannibalism and continuing living healthily?

King Lamus

david_robinson — 2019-04-01 00:07:55 UTC

Thank you for all your advice about cleanliness. Clearly I will have to clean you and cook you throughly before I eat you to wash off all the dirt and bacteria.That's fine with me. I like my human steak well done after all.

Thankfully you are all free range unlike most of the meat that many of you consume. Therefore you are likely to be much healthier and disease free than the average burger or nugget.

I am still unconvinced by your arguments, but since you all feel so passionately that you should not be eaten, I will spare 3 of you. As you humans love democracy so much, I will allow you to choose who I should spare.

You have 3 votes to 'like' any 3 of the posts below. Please vote for the posts with the best arguments, most persuasive devices and fewest grammatical errors. The top 3 will be saved. Please don't vote for your friends or I will have to eat you all after all.

Bon Appetit :-)

King Lamus

david_robinson — 2019-04-01 00:50:33 UTC

Thank you for your votes. I have decided to spare Queenie and Bronte for their excellent posts using rhetorical questions and emotive language.

Maz would have been in third place but as some of you choose to add silly, anonymous posts, I have decided to only spare two of you. Poor Maz!

Please arrange to meet me on the island of Laestrygonius at lunchtime to be eaten.