This teacher appeared to me to be running the classroom like a drill sergeant. It seemed like she was so rigid and strict about every direction and rule she set in place. Honestly, I was thinking wow this is a terrible teacher and those poor students. When Mary talked about the need for organization and clear expectations, it made me reflect on my previous experience in that classroom. Looking back, I think I was so focused on how strict she was, I didn’t consider any of the other things in the room. The desks were in groups where the students collaborated often during lessons. A lot of her lessons were hands on and visual. The classroom art and library represented all of the kids in the classroom.

Thinking back, I realize that she may have been “strict” because she considered the needs of her students in the room. She was very organized and there truly was never an ounce of chaos in her classroom. Even when they transitioned between subjects or around the building, she made sure to set clear, specific expectations that she did not budge on. I think I was too swift to judge and just ignorant and inexperienced with urban schools. Mary’s comments made me reconsider and start to understand that more rigid expectations and organization is not the same thing as teacher centered, old school teaching.

Another element that stood out to me was when she talked about the four roles that children might assume when they live with a dysfunctional family. I had never learned about these roles and I think it’s extremely important to have trauma informed teaching. I loved that Mary went so in depth about these roles and some signs/behaviors that your student might exhibit if they have taken up some of these roles. This seemed like really valuable information to have.

Creating and maintaining strong, respectful relationships with students does require money, a lot of time, or a specific setting. Every teacher has the ability to form these relationships with their students. Small conversations, community building, and having genuine interest in your students can be easily fit into or built into the school day. If every teacher in every school practiced this, it would create equity because it would be being practiced in every classroom, not just the classrooms that have the funds and ability to do it. 

Another way I have started to build respectful relationships is by asking for consent or clarification on their needs when appropriate. For example, before I touch any of their items on their desk I ask if it is okay if I use their notebook or put something in their backpack. I also will often ask students if they need help, space, or more time. This shows them that I respect their needs no matter what they are. 

Lastly, I have started to build respectful relationships by demonstrating that I trust them to do the right thing. If the bathroom in the classroom is full, but someone else needs to go, I always say “yes, I trust you to be safe and responsible in the hallway.” If a student wants to choose a new book during silent reading, I say “yes, I trust you to pick a new book quickly and quietly.” I truly feel that the verbiage of “yes, I trust you to…” is powerful because it shows I already trust them and I truly believe students will live up to the expectations you give them. This can be negative or positive, it truly is up to you as the teacher.