To our dear peer Carolann by Cecile Evers https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7 From the members of Anth-189L on Wednesday, October 21st en-us 2020-10-21 20:29:30 UTC 2024-12-18 13:33:55 UTC hello@padlet.com Dear Carolann, cecileevers https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850385488 Your mother must have been such a special woman, to have made a lovely person like yourself. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I wish you much courage as you mourn her passing, as well as much joy in remembering her well. 

This poem, by one of my husband and my favorite poets, Birago Diop, speaks to the tenuous boundary between the living and the dead (within the Senegalese spiritual tradition), and the reassurance we can find in nature when we lose someone we love. Although the poem's title is often translated as "Breaths" in English, I find that the French original title - Souffles - could be more fittingly translated as "Spirits." 

My warmest thoughts are with you. Cécile]]> 2020-10-21 20:41:38 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850385488 Dearest Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850440320 I am so very sorry for your loss. I cannot begin to imagine the pain you’re feeling for your lovely mother. I hope that you and your family have the space to celebrate her life. I think the celebration of a loved one’s life is so incredibly important, now more than ever. I lost a dear friend this summer and understand the challenges of mourning during such an isolating and complicated time. Please of course reach out if you ever need an ear to listen or a voice to distract. Take care. With love, Esme ]]> 2020-10-21 21:06:46 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850440320 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850550546 I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you right now. I know from personal experience that losing a loved one with little warning is so difficult because you also lose the chance to say goodbye. I hope you can find nourishment for your spirit during this grief, whether it's through an established religious tradition or just remembering wonderful memories and holding them close. Although I am religious, I also like to think of the people I have lost as present with me through the ways I remember them and honor them with my life. I hope that can be helpful to you somehow. I will be thinking of you, and if you need anything, whether it's class-related or anything else, please don't hesitate to reach out.

Aleja]]> 2020-10-21 22:06:53 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850550546 Dearest Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850630405 I want to start this by saying that no two losses have ever been, nor will they ever be, the same. With that in mind I offer only this: in my life when I have carried unimaginable grief, the most catharsis I have felt in that moment of pain has been through leaning all the way in; whatever that means. Your safety is the first priority during healing, of course. And leaning in may not be safe for you all the time. But, when you feel that need to cry or laugh or wail I hope you can. I hope you have the space to feel everything you need to feel for her. Grief lives in our bodies as well as our minds, and I sincerely hope that the people in your life may help you to honor those incredibly difficult feelings so that one day, bit by bit, they can give way to healing. I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. However, I am always here to talk if ever you need and I am always here if I can help you to honor any of those feelings. There is no wrong way to grieve or to process, and I hope you find what is right for you and that the people in your life help you to engage with that process as best they can.

Thinking of you and holding you in my heart,
Lia
]]> 2020-10-21 22:58:02 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850630405 Hi Carolann https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850701092 I don't know you well, but I deeply appreciate your presence and your light in class. I'm so sorry for your loss and want you to know that as your classmates, we stand by you. 
Eamon 

]]> 2020-10-21 23:46:07 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850701092 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850724989 FIrst of all, thank you for sharing this with us. It takes great courage and strength to be able to share something like this with your peers, but now that you have, I hope you find some comfort in our words. Grief is a feeling that will not be the same for any two people, and it can be scary to feel so much all at once. Most of all, I have found grief to be the body's way of dealing  with the fact that you have so much love left to give but no way to share it anymore, or at least, you don't know how to in the beginning. With time, I think we learn how to channel this love we feel for the person in other ways, however big or small.

Here is a link to a comment I found on reddit once, and after losing my father this year, it was the only thing I felt captured how I felt, the scariness of it, the overwhelming emotions. I find comfort in it every time I read it, and I hope it helps you as well. It's a beautiful metaphor:

https://rb.gy/bkyeja

I wish you lots of patience and love as you honor your mother. Take your time, as this is your process and yours only. Of course, I am here for whatever you may need. 

Sending a warm hug,

Selena ]]> 2020-10-22 00:02:00 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850724989 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850851707 I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. That is such an incredibly tough loss and I know she must have been an important person in your life. 

I wish I could know what to say to comfort you, but I'm afraid anything I will say will fall flat. But I do know this: I always love listening to what you have to say in class, to hear about your inspiring involvement in Indigenous language revitalization, and see how it connects to what we're learning in class. I believe you bring such a wonderful and valuable perspective and presence to our class. Thank you for sharing your passion, humility, and thoughtfulness with us for a small bit of time each week. 

With love,
Andrew]]> 2020-10-22 01:09:31 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/850851707 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/851123658 I haven't gotten the chance to get to know you personally, but I've been very inspired you and your comments this year so far. I admire the work you do for Indigenous communities and languages and you've inspired me to take steps to connect to my own history. I'm so sorry you've experienced this terrible loss and you're truly in my heart. I don't have words to help you but I hope you reach out if you need it and know you have the support of many people and many communities. I wish you love and strength during this time. Like I mentioned, your comments in class as well as your information on instagram have inspired me to learn my language of Choctaw, so I would like to share a word for you that means to give compassion and mercy to someone, like a form of sorry in English:  i̱ nukha̱klo. 

Best, 
Emily]]> 2020-10-22 03:54:19 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/851123658 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/853920737 2020-10-22 19:04:11 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/853920737 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/853998834 2020-10-22 19:26:34 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/853998834 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/853999074 I cannot imagine what you must be feeling right now. I’m sure it is a thicket of things. I do not think I can say anything of comfort, but please know I am sitting with you.

What others have said about you being a bright presence in our class is true. I know I am not alone in saying your words are meaningful and you direct us to look beyond where we started. Not to mention that breakout rooms are scary, but you have been welcoming and bring so much with your brilliant ideas and succulent mug.

I wish I could offer better words than these. I’m so sorry you have to experience this pain, and I wish you the strength to hold it. 

Love,
Eliza]]> 2020-10-22 19:26:39 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/853999074 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/854145790 I want to second what everyone else has said so far. First of all, I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through right now, but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and hoping you can surround yourself with a supportive community in this hard time. I know that everyone copes with loss differently so I'm just going to wish that you can feel freely whatever it is you need to feel to begin to heal. 

I have always found your insight in class to be so unique, interesting, and valuable. Although I don't know you very well, I can tell that you are an incredibly caring, thoughtful and passionate person. If you ever need to talk or are wanting more support, please don't hesitate to reach out. I wish I could say something else that would be more helpful but I want you to know that you are very much in my heart as you go through this. 

With love,
Maddie Asch ]]> 2020-10-22 20:15:01 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/854145790 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/854255955 I wish I knew what to say to offer you some support. It’s so difficult to lose a family member, and I cannot imagine what you are going through.  My heart and thoughts go out to you during this difficult time.  I am always here to talk if you would like. 

Sincerely, 
Maggie]]> 2020-10-22 20:58:48 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/854255955 Dead Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/854295299
I am so so sorry for your loss, I cannot even begin to imagine how it must feel to lose someone so important. You are so incredibly strong, brave, soo intelligent so grounded, and so present. You have made an impact on this class, and I always look forward to what you’re going to say. You make me want to become a better student (and person) and I wish I could meet you in person to say that. I hope you are gentle and care for yourself and give yourself so much love. I know that we don’t know each other well, but I am always here if you need to talk, don’t hesitate to reach out @ 6174551074. Seriously, if you need anything at all, please reach out. I wish I had better words for you or give you more, but know that you are loved so deeply and hope you can feel that energy from everyone in class ❤️

Skeeter

]]> 2020-10-22 21:17:50 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/854295299 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/854902967 2020-10-23 03:19:36 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/854902967 Dear Carolann, https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/854954123 I am so sorry. You don’t deserve to have to go through what you’re going through right now. I wish there were something I could say or do to help you through it, but I think all I can say is that it’s okay to feel sad, and it’s okay to feel like you can’t go on, and it’s okay to not be okay.

We don’t really know each other, but I’ve enjoyed what little contact we’ve had in breakout rooms, and I echo the sentiments of everyone else in the class that the insights and personal experiences you bring are fascinating and inspiring, and have enriched the class for all of us. You seem like a wonderful person and I can only imagine how proud your mother must have been of you. In know that I speak for the class when I say that we care deeply about you, and you are in all of our thoughts.

If it’s worth anything, below is a piece that I played on the piano and found meaning in when I lost someone last year. It may not mean much to you, but I hope you can find something that does speak to you in this time. And I hope you remember that you are loved, and you have brought light into lives beyond count.

Matthew

]]> 2020-10-23 03:59:59 UTC https://padlet.com/cecileevers/ef24w1pv1ofb29e7/wish/854954123